IVF/ICSI Support Group
- Thread starter tomatoes
- Start date
Sisters, can I be honest? As I am waiting for DH's soldiers to do their jobs, and waiting for my appointment with Dr. tmr morning, I am afraid.
I am afraid that out of 24 eggs, I will have less than 10 viable embryos. I am afraid that out of 10, I will have only a handful of blastocysts. I am afraid that the single transferred blastocyst will not make it. If that blastocyst does not make it, I will have to fall back on my frozen blastocysts but I am also afraid that they will not survive the freezing and thawing process. I am afraid that after a big round of pain and hope, I will be back to square one, with no baby to hold in my arms.
I am afraid.
I wished that I would have a just-right number of viable embryos that make it to the blastocyst stage. I wished that the one blastocyst will blossom into a beautiful baby. I wished that I will have another few blastocysts that survive the thawing process well so that my first baby will have a few other siblings to play with. I wish that this will be the first and last IVF cycle I ever have to embark on.
I am terrified and I do not know what to do about it.
Hello, I think you are putting a lot of stress on yourself. Of course we go into IVF hoping for the best outcome. But in life many things are not that straight forward. Please do not think of so many what if. Just relax and as long as you have been taking good care of your body and husband has been taking care of himself, let your body do the work ie let nature takes its course. A relaxed mind and body is the best environment for our embryos.
For me, I delayed child birth because I never thought I wanted children. However hubby likes children and after much thinking and wondering if this could become a major regret later in life, I decided to give it a shot and let fate decide if we should be parents (I'm turning 40 very soon, so way past child bearing age). I decided to try IVF after doing some research online. The injections were quite traumatizing for me but I put up a brave front and psycho myself everyday to complete the injections. After going to women's clinic so many times and seeing so many newborn, I also started to yearn for my own baby in my arms. However, I tell myself that I want to bring a healthy baby to this world and if things do not work out which I will attribute to either poor condition of the embryo and/or my womb, then it would be better to fail now than to bring an unhealthy newborn to this world to suffer. Hence instead of thinking of the end result which will drive up my stress level, I focus on eating good food and taking care of my body to give my IVF process my best shot. If it happens, great and if it doesn't happen, my hubby and I know we have tried our best. We will not live with regrets and can start planning how to have a happy retirement life with just the two of us. Hopefully by sharing my story, I have taken away some of the anxiety you are feeling
I also think your numbers are good. Try to think of all the questions you have and ask your doctor tomorrow. It is important to communicate with your doctor. Not knowing what's going to happen can create more anxiety..
DawnBB
Well-Known Member
Hello, I think you are putting a lot of stress on yourself. Of course we go into IVF hoping for the best outcome. But in life many things are not that straight forward. Please do not think of so many what if. Just relax and as long as you have been taking good care of your body and husband has been taking care of himself, let your body do the work ie let nature takes its course. A relaxed mind and body is the best environment for our embryos.
For me, I delayed child birth because I never thought I wanted children. However hubby likes children and after much thinking and wondering if this could become a major regret later in life, I decided to give it a shot and let fate decide if we should be parents (I'm turning 40 very soon, so way past child bearing age). I decided to try IVF after doing some research online. The injections were quite traumatizing for me but I put up a brave front and psycho myself everyday to complete the injections. After going to women's clinic so many times and seeing so many newborn, I also started to yearn for my own baby in my arms. However, I tell myself that I want to bring a healthy baby to this world and if things do not work out which I will attribute to either poor condition of the embryo and/or my womb, then it would be better to fail now than to bring an unhealthy newborn to this world to suffer. Hence instead of thinking of the end result which will drive up my stress level, I focus on eating good food and taking care of my body to give my IVF process my best shot. If it happens, great and if it doesn't happen, my hubby and I know we have tried our best. We will not live with regrets and can start planning how to have a happy retirement life with just the two of us. Hopefully by sharing my story, I have taken away some of the anxiety you are feeling
Thanks for sharing @Toolbox. I do also feel that having done our best and taking the path of no regrets within our means to carry a baby on our own are strong motivation for the perseverance needed in this rough journey.
@littlemonkies, jia you!
littlemonkies
Well-Known Member
Thank you ladies, I will try my best. Like what @Toolbox says, it is probably for the best if the not so good embies don't make it. It's nature's way of ensuring only the fit ones come into this world. Have to adjust my cluckiness a little
I will write down everything I have in mind, but my doctor is not the sort who likes to talk a lot. I have no doubt that she is very good, because she was introduced to me by 2 separate gynaes. I am just a chatterbox who needs a lot of information.
Hope all goes well! In spite of the Great Singapore Haze, I can still see from my window KK's shining logo. Let's hope that is a good sign!
Thank you my lovely ladies! Fighting Fighting!
I will write down everything I have in mind, but my doctor is not the sort who likes to talk a lot. I have no doubt that she is very good, because she was introduced to me by 2 separate gynaes. I am just a chatterbox who needs a lot of information.
Hope all goes well! In spite of the Great Singapore Haze, I can still see from my window KK's shining logo. Let's hope that is a good sign!
Thank you my lovely ladies! Fighting Fighting!
Thank you, I'm actually on my first cycle. I have the habit of thinking ahead and weighing options, hence curious about the general guidance from doctors. I forgot to discuss this point with my doctor yesterday so wanted to hear from the ladies here
Sorry if I've given you the wrong impression that I'm giving up or shutting myself out.Dreamscometrue
Well-Known Member
Wah.. $15k cash?? @@Hi @missyscorpio Sorry I took so long to tabulate. I have paid $13,141.40 on the treatment right up to pregnancy BT and $2,303 for the medication. So total $15,444.44. Wah, so many 4s!
Dreamscometrue
Well-Known Member
Don't be too paranoid. It's something we can't control. At least u have 24 eggs to begin with.Sisters, can I be honest? As I am waiting for DH's soldiers to do their jobs, and waiting for my appointment with Dr. tmr morning, I am afraid.
I am afraid that out of 24 eggs, I will have less than 10 viable embryos. I am afraid that out of 10, I will have only a handful of blastocysts. I am afraid that the single transferred blastocyst will not make it. If that blastocyst does not make it, I will have to fall back on my frozen blastocysts but I am also afraid that they will not survive the freezing and thawing process. I am afraid that after a big round of pain and hope, I will be back to square one, with no baby to hold in my arms.
I am afraid.
I wished that I would have a just-right number of viable embryos that make it to the blastocyst stage. I wished that the one blastocyst will blossom into a beautiful baby. I wished that I will have another few blastocysts that survive the thawing process well so that my first baby will have a few other siblings to play with. I wish that this will be the first and last IVF cycle I ever have to embark on.
I am terrified and I do not know what to do about it.
What about some sisters (including me) who have less than 5-6 eggs to begin with? We still have to brave on the journey and hope and pray, cross fingers and toes that few eggs will somehow become embryos and at least one can stick.
So don't worry too much! You have a very good number to begin with!
Eggscatcher
Active Member
Yes I Tink must eat a lot then will have tremendous benefits, others such as Sunflower and Flaxseeds are good for fertility too...
koirc
Well-Known Member
Yes, no choice cos I can't use any Govt co-funding or medisave anymore. It wasn't that bad for a start cos small amounts each month. The killer was the one $9K+ I had to pay after the ET.
Sisters, can I be honest? As I am waiting for DH's soldiers to do their jobs, and waiting for my appointment with Dr. tmr morning, I am afraid.
I am afraid that out of 24 eggs, I will have less than 10 viable embryos. I am afraid that out of 10, I will have only a handful of blastocysts. I am afraid that the single transferred blastocyst will not make it. If that blastocyst does not make it, I will have to fall back on my frozen blastocysts but I am also afraid that they will not survive the freezing and thawing process. I am afraid that after a big round of pain and hope, I will be back to square one, with no baby to hold in my arms.
I am afraid.
I wished that I would have a just-right number of viable embryos that make it to the blastocyst stage. I wished that the one blastocyst will blossom into a beautiful baby. I wished that I will have another few blastocysts that survive the thawing process well so that my first baby will have a few other siblings to play with. I wish that this will be the first and last IVF cycle I ever have to embark on.
I am terrified and I do not know what to do about it.
Dearie, i think all our sisters have shared..
Do not wish.. firmly believe this IVF will grant u success, tell yrself the embbies r doing great and inplantation will occ.. and afffirm that you r going to hav a BFP !! Trust the universal law.. ask what u want n u will b granted!!
All the best dear.. many many hugs!! Chia yo!!!
Winniewiniepooh
Active Member
Jia you...
AAOM
Member
My Hubby has done his Semen Analysis and I have done my blood Test...
Any advise on what other procedure thatIVF Center will request from us?
I'm totally new to this... You mean i have to eat egg whites and longan red date tea?
@dramaqueenie sorry to hear about you. Please rest well..
@littlemonkies breathe in and take each step at a time. Keep thinking positive and have faith.
Im at kkivf centre now, waiting for my 2nd scan. Last 2 days of opk, negative..
And there are so many ppl at e clinic now. Anyone here?
@littlemonkies breathe in and take each step at a time. Keep thinking positive and have faith.
Im at kkivf centre now, waiting for my 2nd scan. Last 2 days of opk, negative..
And there are so many ppl at e clinic now. Anyone here?
AAOM
Member
Agreed that this is really a lonely and tough journey...
Me and hubby have a little baby before but we lost him when the baby us 5 month in my tummy... The concern from both our family after that has created much stress in us.. And also having us to explain to them the reason why the baby could not survive due to gens issue was a headache... They start digging the family background n finding whose gens when wrong but in fact to us all this does not matter because is a gens we cant choose and the finger should not be pointing at anyone...
Now that me and my hubby has decide this IVF journey... We decide that since is a decision of our own we will not inform them until there is good news... I don know if is wrong to do so... But it seems so hard to explain to them why we want to do so and such... I don deny that part of the reason is im afriad that it might not turn out well and they will be disappointed again... Till date only my best friend and my elder sister know about our IVF decision....
I'm also quite concern when i need to take the 2 week HL... How do you girls explain to your collegue on this 2 week HL? Is there Any way to like don't tell them that im going through IVF?
hopes
Active Member
Hihi.. U can just tell them u are going for some cyst removal or what... That's what I did. The HL mc won't state the reason. So no worries ..
DawnBB
Well-Known Member
Hello dearie. I'm so sorry that you went through the m/c in the past.
I totally empathize the additional heartache and stress in explaining to parents. My parents cannot understand why we need to go thru IVF route and keep saying try naturally sure can conceive one. I can understand my parents are worried of the side effects and when they know I have to take so much jab medication etc. They tried to dissuade me despite my trying hard to explain logically why icsi is our only option now due to poor sperm quality. They would constantly bombard me with negative comments like why we only ttc this late (we are in late 30s) and at one point, blaming DH for not taking good care of himself and worse imply that I indirectly responsible as I have not taken good care of him as his wife. While I know their intentions, I feel very hurt to hear their comments and see their disapproving look. I also worry about DH being affected but sometimes ending up very bitter and frustrated coz feel like "hey, what about my feelings??"
By my current 3rd fresh icsi, i have refrained from sharing too much about my prep and the actual progress etc. I sometimes feel guilty about being selfish but i keep reminding myself that I need to protect my feelings and what i am doing is to reduce the stress and emotional burden which doesn't help me in getting through the already stressful ivf process.
I just want to share and hope knowing that you are not alone and there are many ladies here who get you, can make you feel better somehow. Also what ever decision/ action you take on this journey, know that you have evaluated what's best for you to achieve your goal that led you to this journey in the first place, and that you and DH are with each other throughout the process, both of you will find peace as you tide through this together.
As for managing the info with colleagues, it will be good to have alignment with your boss to keep this personal matter private, and I would tell my colleagues need to settle personal family matter. If you insist not to share details, usually ppl are sensitive and polite enough not to probe further. @hopes also given a good alternative suggestion. Anyway, once this is settled, get on and try not to think too much le as you need to focus on keeping your body and mind in optimal condition for the arduous ivf journey.
Be kind to yourself. Take care and all the best to you. Lots of love
DawnBB
Well-Known Member
Thanks @Bblieve for reminding us to hang on to positive vibes. So in need of this as woke up depressed due to feeling cramps building up since last evening. Not having good feeling about this 2ww. And the haze is making everything gloomy.
Yes fighting! Think positive all! Love and hugs
the_spinsterella
Well-Known Member
I know what you mean. I was worried also after my ET but I made myself listen to it everyday so I'll be in a relaxed phase and as the days go by, you feel more relaxed and more confident. I think the fact that it makes you visualize that your body is working perfectly is really powerful and helpful because I always fear that my womb is not conducive.
towkayneo
Well-Known Member
I am occasionally taking chia seeds too! Cannot take too much and you must soak them in water for at least 20 - 30 min before consuming...
towkayneo
Well-Known Member
Yeeah!! time to have some baby dust instead of the dust from the haze!!
iambernice_yap
Member
@dramaqueenie take some time to heal and most importantly do and eat things that you enjoy! I had my negative result on Monday. Lets jia you together for FET!
the_spinsterella
Well-Known Member
Can get honey drops from Honey world. It helps with sorethroat.
the_spinsterella
Well-Known Member
Long cycle may involve Lucrin injections and then after your next period, you'll start stimming which involve puregon etc injections.
the_spinsterella
Well-Known Member
I'm not sure of the price. I think different hospitals should have different rates. Perhaps you can check with your gynae if they offer this option.
towkayneo
Well-Known Member
Press "1"?
Melody2512
Active Member
Anyone knows what to eat or drink to improve uterus lining? I'm on day 8 today and one of my follicles show 15mm and my lining at 5.7mm. Doc told me ideally lining should be 7mm. Tmr will be going for final scan and most prob will do my iui on this coming Mon.
the_spinsterella
Well-Known Member
*big hugs* Yes, prepare for your FET and look forward to it! Take care!
towkayneo
Well-Known Member
Soya bean milk, red bean soup, protein-rich food like beef, chicken...good to have short walks too to improve blood circulation to the uterus.
the_spinsterella
Well-Known Member
Actually I took chia seeds almost daily during my fresh cycle. But it didnt do much for my egg quality.
Thanks the_spinsterella for sharing. May I know what is endo scratch? Thanks.
the_spinsterella
Well-Known Member
Sisters, can I be honest? As I am waiting for DH's soldiers to do their jobs, and waiting for my appointment with Dr. tmr morning, I am afraid.
I am afraid that out of 24 eggs, I will have less than 10 viable embryos. I am afraid that out of 10, I will have only a handful of blastocysts. I am afraid that the single transferred blastocyst will not make it. If that blastocyst does not make it, I will have to fall back on my frozen blastocysts but I am also afraid that they will not survive the freezing and thawing process. I am afraid that after a big round of pain and hope, I will be back to square one, with no baby to hold in my arms.
I am afraid.
I wished that I would have a just-right number of viable embryos that make it to the blastocyst stage. I wished that the one blastocyst will blossom into a beautiful baby. I wished that I will have another few blastocysts that survive the thawing process well so that my first baby will have a few other siblings to play with. I wish that this will be the first and last IVF cycle I ever have to embark on.
I am terrified and I do not know what to do about it.
*hugs* Must be positive ok.
I was delighted when I had 15 matured eggs retrieved. The next day, I felt so crushed when the embryologist called and told me only 1 fertilized normally. I was so down. And that 1 embryo had to be frozen as my progesterone was too high. I didn't have much hope and thought it's already a failed cycle. Plus I did without subsidy so I forked up about 15k cash which means I may have to change hospital if I want to do IVF again. It affected me for days until I tell myself I must be positive for my FET the next month. I didn't know if the embryo will survive the thawing but I told myself that I must be positive and prepare my body for FET. I was so worried and everyday willed the embryo to be strong. My parents were very worried for me and they called me almost everyday telling me that no matter what happens, I've tried my best.
When my FET day came and the embryo survived, I cannot describe how I felt. But I was still worried. I have an endo cyst in my ovary, adeno on the left side and fibroids. I fear that the environment wouldn't be conducive. But I tell myself I must remain positive.
When my BT came and it's positive, I wanted to cry and scream. If I had lost hope and be negative, I don't think this can happen. But hope was all I had and I cling onto it. I haven't done my scan yet but I talk to my baby everyday, thanking it for making it this far and telling it to be strong because so many people wanted to see him/her.
Melody2512
Active Member
Thanks!! I will drink more red bean soup these few days. I can drink logan red dates wolfberries tea right?
the_spinsterella
Well-Known Member
I'm not sure if all hospitals do this but you can check with your gynae.
What is endometrial scratching?
The lining of the uterus (the endometrium) is gently ‘scratched’ using a thin catheter (a fine, flexible, sterile, plastic tube) which is passed through the cervix.
Embryo implantation should occur five to six days after natural fertilisation or following embryo transfer, when the embryo embeds into the lining of the uterus to continue its development.
Who may benefit from endometrial scratching?
Midland Fertility offers endometrial scratching to women who have had more than two IVF, ICSI or FET cycles which resulted in a negative pregnancy test, despite having good quality embryos.
How does scratching help implantation?
New research and evidence suggests that scratching the uterine lining causes a ‘repair reaction’ which may increase embryo implantation rates.
wonderfuljoy
Member
Hi koirc, which hospital are u with? Thx!
wonderfuljoy
Member
Boiled logan red dates will do.
And try to eat avocado too, sprinkle lightly with salt and black pepper, on crackers or bread can be yummy too. If not, do a avocade shake ie. Blend avocado with milk or water ( some may want to avoid milk at this time) and add honey or melted gula melaka (prepared earlier).
And also egg whites! Can be hard boiled ( add abit soy sauce)
All the best!
@dramaqueenie
Hugzzz.. no words can comfort atm. Lets jia you and look forward to FET year end. Rest well and see TCM perhaps and tio back good health to prepare for the next session. Xoxo.
towkayneo
Well-Known Member
Yup! I am drinking longan red date tea and stuffing egg whites now ...
littlemonkies
Well-Known Member
Jiayou DawnBB! Jia you Jiayou! Praying heaven and earth and everything to keep baby intact in tummy!
towkayneo
Well-Known Member
Wa, actually if this really helps in implantation, wonder if we can request the docs to scratch it during ER...? #JustAThought
littlemonkies
Well-Known Member
What an amazing story! It is almost as if God wanted that beanie and that beanie only to make it. I'm very happy for you. Hope your story will be replicated in all of us. Thanks for your wondering sharing sister.
the_spinsterella
Well-Known Member
You can ask your doc if they do it. But it has to be done the cycle before ET.
littlemonkies
Well-Known Member
Sorry to hear about your loss. It is human nature to blame and point fingers. It is a comfort to know that you, at least, are being sensible about the situation.
I also did a silly thing by telling everyone I wanted kids immediately after marriage. As time passed, it was obvious that we could not 'produce' and that became a perpetual elephant in the room. It's really awful. I think it is good to keep the cards close to your chest. In fact, I am now contemplating not even announcing. If they know, let them know. If they don't know, eventually when the kid comes, they will know.
As for the colleagues, I only let my direct boss and another colleague who is closest to me know. Even then, I was being practical rather than anything else. I needed my boss to understand why I needed to take time off every other day for the scans. He was very understanding, thank God. For the other colleagues, I vaguely told them it's a procedure and I didn't feel comfortable telling them anything beyond that. As for the other colleague, I told her because I knew sometimes I would need cover, or simply, a listening ear when the day got bad.
Hope this helps!
HappyPeanuts
Active Member
My experience at KKH -
It has to be done around 1 week before the menses cycle start for the ET cycle (be it fresh or FET). Must confirm with Dr first during consultation. When menses come, call hospital to book appt for endo scratch. Cost around $150 to $200 as a private patient. This is not billed to IVF.
dramaqueenie
Active Member
Thanks dear, am still having bloody episodes nightmare. Beginning to think there's no end. Intend to go on a 3 days feast to make myself happy once I have recovered. Fighting!
pammm
Member
Hi AAOM
Just like you, I am also new to IVF.
As much as I would love to spill the beans to my mom, I have not told any of my family members as I do not want them to worry and should things not turn out the way I want them to be, at least I don have to break so many people's hearts. So far, I have only told ny two closest colleagues.
If your boss is supportive/understanding, you might want to tell your boss privately. This way, when you have to apply for half days/mc/HL, he/she will understand. I don't see a need to have to explain to my other colleagues.
All the best and Fighting!
Anyone seeing Dr. Sadhana at KKH? Share your experience about her.
And also anyone is a subsided patient at KKH but ended up changing to a private patient, do they make you to see the gynae that you chose before proceeding to IVF centre? Or anyone that have experience that you are a subsided patient but you can chose which gynae you want at IVF centre. Share your experience.
And also anyone is a subsided patient at KKH but ended up changing to a private patient, do they make you to see the gynae that you chose before proceeding to IVF centre? Or anyone that have experience that you are a subsided patient but you can chose which gynae you want at IVF centre. Share your experience.
monkeyzai
Member
Hi ladies, I have just seen Prof Wong for the first time and did my blood tests. Now waiting for all the results before proceeding with IVF.
I realized that the subsidy from the govt is only for 3 cycles and up to 40 years old.
I am now 38 and I was just thinking I might not be able to conceive b4 hitting 40 years old or even after using up all the 3 subsidy.
Have written to Tan Chuan Jin hoping that the govt would relook into the policy as I hope that they can increase the subsidy to 5 cycles and up to 45 years old.
Wish me luck.
I realized that the subsidy from the govt is only for 3 cycles and up to 40 years old.
I am now 38 and I was just thinking I might not be able to conceive b4 hitting 40 years old or even after using up all the 3 subsidy.
Have written to Tan Chuan Jin hoping that the govt would relook into the policy as I hope that they can increase the subsidy to 5 cycles and up to 45 years old.
Wish me luck.
towkayneo
Well-Known Member
Yeah fighting! have to get over it and march on..
wyn0404, yup u will have to see the gynae u chose. but for me was they referred me to kkivf first and set appt directly. so when i met dr hh tan, appt already fixed in nov for ivf.
u definitely can choose the gynae u want but just no more subsidised rate..