Expecting a twins.

R

Reeve lim

New Member
Dear parents,

kindly need advise on my expecting twins, i'm 28 years old this year and my wife 26s, we have 2 boys at a age of 3+ and 9mos old . last week my wife went for check up and we found out that we are expecting TWINS. Doctor mentions EDD is around sept but however it might be early due to twins and also might be premature . is there anyone can share and advise how to manage with 4 kids ? currently my big boy is in childcare N1 and my 9 mos old baby is under my grandparents in laws care, and now we are expecting a twins. i believe me and my wife wont be able to cope with 4 kids at a go, but we are lost at moments . i have check the confirment lady rates is about 2 to 2.5k per month and if is taking care of twins it will BE DOUBLE. curenttly everymonth i have to folk out around $220 for my big boy childcare and $600 for my grandparents in law for taking care of my 2nd boy, and expecting a twins what can i do now ? infants care rate is not that cheap also after goverment sub. is there any advise or recommend nanny ? My new flats are coming 4th quater this year. i need advise from you guys whom might have overcome this problem before.

Thanks and hope to hear from you guys soon.
 


Reeve lim said:
Dear parents,

kindly need advise on my expecting twins, i'm 28 years old this year and my wife 26s, we have 2 boys at a age of 3+ and 9mos old . last week my wife went for check up and we found out that we are expecting TWINS. Doctor mentions EDD is around sept but however it might be early due to twins and also might be premature . is there anyone can share and advise how to manage with 4 kids ? currently my big boy is in childcare N1 and my 9 mos old baby is under my grandparents in laws care, and now we are expecting a twins. i believe me and my wife wont be able to cope with 4 kids at a go, but we are lost at moments . i have check the confirment lady rates is about 2 to 2.5k per month and if is taking care of twins it will BE DOUBLE. curenttly everymonth i have to folk out around $220 for my big boy childcare and $600 for my grandparents in law for taking care of my 2nd boy, and expecting a twins what can i do now ? infants care rate is not that cheap also after goverment sub. is there any advise or recommend nanny ? My new flats are coming 4th quater this year. i need advise from you guys whom might have overcome this problem before.

Thanks and hope to hear from you guys soon.
Click to expand...

Hello,

I can imagine the financial strain. Maybe you can do a rough estimate how much all spending you might incur to have all these 4 children to be care for, dun be surprise the cost might make it worth while for either one of you to be staying at home to look after them full time instead. Nothing beat having a stay home dad or mum to look after the children. Hope this year budget announcement will have really solid goodies to help SG parents.

Jia you
 
I agree that it might be more "cost saving" for the children to stay home, but it can also be difficult to handle a 9 mo together with a pair of infant twins. Will getting a domestic helper + 1 stay home parent = cost of sending the kids to caregivers?

Btw, for your boy's childcare fees, is it still deducting CDA?

For confinement, will you be able to take about 2 weeks leave to take care of your wife and the newborns? I was able to just order confinement catering and care for my baby, with some help from my husband during the first 2 weeks. Does your 9 mo sleep through the night at the moment?

For your new flat renovation, instead of getting ID firm, you can contact carpentry companies directly, and it will be much cheaper. But you might need to know some of those technical stuff (so they don't fool you) and monitor the carpenters / contractors closely.
 
aaa111 said:
Hello,

I can imagine the financial strain. Maybe you can do a rough estimate how much all spending you might incur to have all these 4 children to be care for, dun be surprise the cost might make it worth while for either one of you to be staying at home to look after them full time instead. Nothing beat having a stay home dad or mum to look after the children. Hope this year budget announcement will have really solid goodies to help SG parents.

Jia you
Click to expand...


Hi aaa111,

Thanks for your prompt reply , now adays everything went up , milk powder , pampers and etc ... my surroundding friend say to me, even you earn 10k it might not enough.
 
cherrycheries said:
I agree that it might be more "cost saving" for the children to stay home, but it can also be difficult to handle a 9 mo together with a pair of infant twins. Will getting a domestic helper + 1 stay home parent = cost of sending the kids to caregivers?

Btw, for your boy's childcare fees, is it still deducting CDA?

For confinement, will you be able to take about 2 weeks leave to take care of your wife and the newborns? I was able to just order confinement catering and care for my baby, with some help from my husband during the first 2 weeks. Does your 9 mo sleep through the night at the moment?

For your new flat renovation, instead of getting ID firm, you can contact carpentry companies directly, and it will be much cheaper. But you might need to know some of those technical stuff (so they don't fool you) and monitor the carpenters / contractors closely.
Click to expand...

Hi cherrycheries,

Thank you for the prompt reply , my big boy is under CDA deduction , however i still find the childcare rates is still high as a singaporean . 220 every month and i would take around 1 months leave to acc my wife and to help out taking care the twins and as for my 9mos old boy , he don sleep thru the night. Sometime he will wake up in the midder of the night for 1 to 2 hrs and sleep back again. However my grandparents in law does'nt want us to send the 9mos baby to childcare if he reach 18mos, its better to give own people look after rather than putting them in childcare, but $600 to me is quite alot for a month to look after my 9mos old baby. I have calculated after the twins come out everymonth my expense on the school fees and taking care of my 9mos boy is around 2k plus.
 
Hi Reeve,

Congratz on your twins! Stressful but i believe it's really a blessing instead as twins are hard to get =)

Not in your shoes but I can offer some pointers for your new flat.

Flat
- get your lights/toilet fittings/curtains from taobao. Those mid sized bulky items also can buy from taobao. E.g console blah blah. Ikea has loads of cheap basic furniture too. Quality is so-so but meets all basic needs =) e.g coffeetable $12.90.
- Find contractor instead of ID and you can save. Don't do too much built in stuff (carpentry) as those are the expensive ones.
- fortytwo.sg has cheap furniture too.

The kids
- If you don't mind, I believe a helper (maid) is actually more economical for 4 kids. At least you do have an extra pair of hands to help in all things big and small. Perhaps can discuss with the grandparents-in-law to have the maid and 3 kids with them during daytime? At least it's 3 adults to 3 kids. Not that bad. But of cos the grandparents must understand that you wont be able to give them market rate. =P
- Alternatively, ask from help from your RC or Mp or whatever? Sometimes there are actually subsidies. I have a malay colleague under your situation but she sent her twins to infantcare with the help of some subsidies. For both infants she paid like $600 cash only. But I have no idea what subsidies though.

Confinement
- Cheapest option is to do yourself. Even the cooking. Or perhaps can rally the elderly in your house to help out? They can cook/take care of the babies. But of cos your wife wont be able to rest as well.
- Or IF you already plan to have a maid, then can get her before the babies are out and she can help in the confinement. =)

Hope this helps. =)
Good luck!!!
 
Reeve lim said:
Hi aaa111,

Thanks for your prompt reply , now adays everything went up , milk powder , pampers and etc ... my surroundding friend say to me, even you earn 10k it might not enough.
Click to expand...

Hello,

You are totally correct. I think household income of 10K per month to feed one children well is already a challenge.
 
Reeve lim said:
Hi cherrycheries,

Thank you for the prompt reply , my big boy is under CDA deduction , however i still find the childcare rates is still high as a singaporean . 220 every month and i would take around 1 months leave to acc my wife and to help out taking care the twins and as for my 9mos old boy , he don sleep thru the night. Sometime he will wake up in the midder of the night for 1 to 2 hrs and sleep back again. However my grandparents in law does'nt want us to send the 9mos baby to childcare if he reach 18mos, its better to give own people look after rather than putting them in childcare, but $600 to me is quite alot for a month to look after my 9mos old baby. I have calculated after the twins come out everymonth my expense on the school fees and taking care of my 9mos boy is around 2k plus.
Click to expand...


It's great that you can take leave to take care of your wife! For your 9 mo, if he doesn't sleep through the night yet, you might need to be prepared to wake up to pacify him back to sleep, while your wife might need to juggle the twins, if both of you are without more help.

I understand. I used to give my mil $500 for taking care of my child when she was a baby. For infant care, after subsidies, it might be around $800-$1200 depending on school. But after reaching 18 mo, enrolling into childcare's playgroup will be much cheaper than $600.

If all your expenses for childcare would be around $2000 per month, would it be better for your wife to stay home with a domestic helper, to care for the kids?

As for income, I think it depends on the lifestyle you want. So far I work freelance (quite little) from home, and my hubby doesn't earn $10k, but we are coping well with a child at the moment :)

Oh ya.. For furniture, I agree with @xpanny87x , get from tao bao. Just need to check for reliable sellers under their reviews.
 
xpanny87x said:
Hi Reeve,

Congratz on your twins! Stressful but i believe it's really a blessing instead as twins are hard to get =)

Not in your shoes but I can offer some pointers for your new flat.

Flat
- get your lights/toilet fittings/curtains from taobao. Those mid sized bulky items also can buy from taobao. E.g console blah blah. Ikea has loads of cheap basic furniture too. Quality is so-so but meets all basic needs =) e.g coffeetable $12.90.
- Find contractor instead of ID and you can save. Don't do too much built in stuff (carpentry) as those are the expensive ones.
- fortytwo.sg has cheap furniture too.

The kids
- If you don't mind, I believe a helper (maid) is actually more economical for 4 kids. At least you do have an extra pair of hands to help in all things big and small. Perhaps can discuss with the grandparents-in-law to have the maid and 3 kids with them during daytime? At least it's 3 adults to 3 kids. Not that bad. But of cos the grandparents must understand that you wont be able to give them market rate. =P
- Alternatively, ask from help from your RC or Mp or whatever? Sometimes there are actually subsidies. I have a malay colleague under your situation but she sent her twins to infantcare with the help of some subsidies. For both infants she paid like $600 cash only. But I have no idea what subsidies though.

Confinement
- Cheapest option is to do yourself. Even the cooking. Or perhaps can rally the elderly in your house to help out? They can cook/take care of the babies. But of cos your wife wont be able to rest as well.
- Or IF you already plan to have a maid, then can get her before the babies are out and she can help in the confinement. =)

Hope this helps. =)
Good luck!!!
Click to expand...

Hi panny,

Thank you for your prompt reply , for renovation on my house i will do as simple as possible but simple do also need around 15K.

For us we don intend to hired a maid , as i have seen my surrounding family members got issue with maids so for me and my wife we drop this idea out , my grandparents-in-law are at the age of 80s plus but they do have a maid with them and i can say that she is the only maid i can put trust on with my 9mos old boy with her. my big boy use to under her care too and is my big boy fav aunty. my grandparents in laws offer to look after the twins but i find that it might be tiring to handle 3babies at a time
 
Hi all ,

Receive a good news from my big boy childcare , the in charge know that my wife is expecting twins and she told us ,after give birth to the twins we can pass her the twins birth cert for additional sub. She say it might be as low as $3 per month. Wow thats the first good news coming. Hope there is more way out
 
hi im a twin mummy, from experience it is not easy with twins. More so with 2 other children as well. My advice, do get extra helper or helpers if you can (a domestic helper might be good + if your elder goes to cc and your 2nd one grandparents take care.) The helper will be a helping hand to all, cos first year esp first few months not easy. Esp when one cries and wakes up the other..or they need attention when they reach 8-9mths crawling stage/walking stage aiyoh..will be headache, so much more help is advisable! Also must get insurance as the nicu stay can be like up to $1k a day per twin! you can get more info joining fb twins and triplets page :) we often share advices and such :) Hv to be prepared to lose sleep and personal time but the returns are indescribably rewarding as they grow older, they are soooo cute de! congrats!
 
You can join sg twins & triples in fb... there is several sahm with 3 to 4 kids and never hire any helpers.. i think is more or less how you manage your time and money....

10k is definitely enough for raising 4 kids but depending how you budget your money

For me i having twins giving birth this fri.. not hiring confinement lady even though is first pregnancy. My hub will take 2 weeks paternity leave and 1 week annual leave to help out. My parents will cook confinement meals for me as i already provide all the recipe to them. I just have to toughen up myself to be a twins mum.

My friend is paying $300plus for infant care though.. original price 1k minus $600 gov subsidy.. i think for household with 5 people and more can claim additional subsidy.. $200 more if i remember correctly
 
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pixie ng said:
You can join sg twins & triples in fb... there is several sahm with 3 to 4 kids and never hire any helpers.. i think is more or less how you manage your time and money....

10k is definitely enough for raising 4 kids but depending how you budget your money

For me i having twins giving birth this fri.. not hiring confinement lady even though is first pregnancy. My hub will take 2 weeks paternity leave and 1 week annual leave to help out. My parents will cook confinement meals for me as i already provide all the recipe to them. I just have to toughen up myself to be a twins mum.

My friend is paying $300plus for infant care though.. original price 1k minus $600 gov subsidy.. i think for household with 5 people and more can claim additional subsidy.. $200 more if i remember correctly
Click to expand...

Hi Pixie ,

Thank you for the prompt reply, its good that you have family members helping you out , as for me it might be alittle hard as im working in retailer its fix shift time so if i hired a maid i wont know if the maid is good to handle twins at night. you are very lucky to have your family member help out but for me my family members quite limited , i will take 1 month of leave and paternity leave to help out my wife, however i am still deciding if i want to hired a maid, if my wife decide to go back to work after 4 months than the maid will know our working time, things might happen when we not at home. if i put the twins in infantcare my grand parents in law will make noise but i got no one to turn too. my mother in law don like to look after babies , sad.

Anyway there are only afew ways to settle this babies issue, 1. hired a maid , 2. hired a nanny or confinement lady for the first month , 3.put the twins at infantcare after full month.


Running out of ideas.

i think once if i got my new house i will hired a maid. but anyone got good recommended company to look for maid ?
 
Reeve lim said:
Hi Pixie ,

Thank you for the prompt reply, its good that you have family members helping you out , as for me it might be alittle hard as im working in retailer its fix shift time so if i hired a maid i wont know if the maid is good to handle twins at night. you are very lucky to have your family member help out but for me my family members quite limited , i will take 1 month of leave and paternity leave to help out my wife, however i am still deciding if i want to hired a maid, if my wife decide to go back to work after 4 months than the maid will know our working time, things might happen when we not at home. if i put the twins in infantcare my grand parents in law will make noise but i got no one to turn too. my mother in law don like to look after babies , sad.

Anyway there are only afew ways to settle this babies issue, 1. hired a maid , 2. hired a nanny or confinement lady for the first month , 3.put the twins at infantcare after full month.


Running out of ideas.

i think once if i got my new house i will hired a maid. but anyone got good recommended company to look for maid ?
Click to expand...
I do not like stranger in my house so i not hiring any maid or helper. During first month, my hub n myself will take care of the twins.after first month i will look after the twins by myself. If no one cook confinement meals for your wife, you can always order confinement meal for her. Is all depend whether you can afford paying 4k for a confinement lady which i find is a waste of money. But if your wife really needs it then no choice. Infant care should be quite cheap for u since u hv 5 person in your household. U can claim infant care subsidy + additional subsidy..maybe end up paying $100 per baby per mth only..

As long as you budget wisely, money will not be a problem. Problem is people dun budget then buy car hire maid, end of the month bill comes then faint.

Excluding few thousands dollars to get a new maid, you still need to pay her monthly salary + lodging + food. I would rather put these funds into my babies education funds, yearly vacation and personal saving. Is all depending on individual

http://singaporebaby.com/cost-getting-maid-singapore
 
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pixie ng said:
I do not like stranger in my house so i not hiring any maid or helper. During first month, my hub n myself will take care of the twins.after first month i will look after the twins by myself. If no one cook confinement meals for your wife, you can always order confinement meal for her. Is all depend whether you can afford paying 4k for a confinement lady which i find is a waste of money. But if your wife really needs it then no choice. Infant care should be quite cheap for u since u hv 5 person in your household. U can claim infant care subsidy + additional subsidy..maybe end up paying $100 per baby per mth only..

As long as you budget wisely, money will not be a problem. Problem is people dun budget then buy car hire maid, end of the month bill comes then faint.

Excluding few thousands dollars to get a new maid, you still need to pay her monthly salary + lodging + food. I would rather put these funds into my babies education funds, yearly vacation and personal saving. Is all depending on individual

http://singaporebaby.com/cost-getting-maid-singapore
Click to expand...

I also don like stranger in my house , i will still talk to my wife as she still intend to hired a helper .

During first month we will go back to in law place to do confinement after that we might putting the twins in infant care, in this case money and lifestyle will be balance.
Heard from my friend say that he have changed 3 maids within 1 year, i asked what happen? he say the maid say she miss home and got no choice send her back.he got to top up for his maid agent levy fee if not wrong. i think i will clear 1 month plus leave than after confinement we will send the twins to infant care.
 
@Reeve lim
A maid would be most helpful since you will be having 4 kids so childcare fees will definitely add up very quickly. However I strongly suggest that you have someone else at home all the time to monitor the maid and take care of the kids at the same time. On days when the childcare centres are closed, we always try to keep to a 1:1 ratio, i.e. one adult attending to one baby, unless in case of emergency.

I subscribe to the school of thought that a maid should never be left at home the entire day without supervision. Things will find a way to go wrong.

We send our babies, #1 to private childcare underneath my block and #2 to infant care at PCF. It is not cheap but at least I dont have to worry that much about a maid potentially abusing them. In a proper childcare environment, while it is still possible that teachers can treat the children badly, I cant imagine it would be that bad in general since there are other people around so there is some form of accountability.
 
richiemccaw said:
@Reeve lim
A maid would be most helpful since you will be having 4 kids so childcare fees will definitely add up very quickly. However I strongly suggest that you have someone else at home all the time to monitor the maid and take care of the kids at the same time. On days when the childcare centres are closed, we always try to keep to a 1:1 ratio, i.e. one adult attending to one baby, unless in case of emergency.

I subscribe to the school of thought that a maid should never be left at home the entire day without supervision. Things will find a way to go wrong.

We send our babies, #1 to private childcare underneath my block and #2 to infant care at PCF. It is not cheap but at least I dont have to worry that much about a maid potentially abusing them. In a proper childcare environment, while it is still possible that teachers can treat the children badly, I cant imagine it would be that bad in general since there are other people around so there is some form of accountability.
Click to expand...


What we are planning now is after confinement we will be putting the twins to infant care but the time is from 7am to 7pm its quite flexiable for us to bring them back anytime before 7pm. And i think hire a maid will not be a good choice , 10/10 friends told me try not to hired a maid, some of their maid already have planning to move on and she is just using the family as a stepping stone. But now the problem is after 7 pm who can look after the twins ? If family member don intend to help.
 
You would probably have to be more creative. Perhaps can consider moving either your own mom or your mom-in-law to your place for a few months to help both of you manage the kids? If they dont want to move over, they can even just come by at 6+pm, then go home at 10+pm?

I understand your concerns about looking after babies after they come back from daycare. It can be quite scary trying to feed, bathe, change, play with them before they sleep, and that is assuming they sleep early without much coaxing. We are blessed to be living with my own parents for now until our new place arrives next year so hopefully we are getting the harder part out of the way first.

I feel the most challenging part is the babies' first year. Once we pass the first year where all the vaccinations take place, things should become more manageable even if you have to sacrifice some sleep to help clear the chores.
 
It's difficult I know.

I pay $x to elderly to take care of my kid on top of their regular monthly allowance $y, and with that they need a maid too. Otherwise I can go IFC or stop work or just get a maid to see at home (without elderly supervision).

Ur elderly is already very nice (afterall they need to pay for utilities, buy food etc).

I think for you would need to employ a maid or else hard to manage. Twin babies can be v tiring.

But bear in mind I got rejected by maids before, when they knew I have twins. They are choosy abt work too.

So far my maid is good - everything is done by her. Im guilty of the fact that I hv not even showered or changed diaper for my baby at all. Once baby cry she will run to carry and also pat/ carry them to sleep..

Look for those maid with 3 or more kids - so they really need this job. Bless u will find a good maid - all depends on luck really.
 
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Hi all after few months of discussions with my Wife , confinement we will stay at my in laws place at bp and my big boy will follow us moving to bp for that 1 months of confinement . However my Father in law is a taxi driver ,he will fetch and bring my big boy to school from bp to Yishun and Yishun back to bp. I will be taking 1 month of leave from my company as well to assist my Wife looking after the twins as for my second boy he will be staying with my in laws parents (great grandpa and Ma)+ 1 maid . My new house coming on the oct and my Wife will go back to work after 4 maternity months. Headache part is money and who can look after the twins if both of us go work , hire a nanny to look after is X2 of the price , putting the twins in infant care will get sick easily and now I might quit my retail job as its shifted job . But finding a day job 9-5 I will loss much of the income that I earning now . Hiring a maid is not easy too .. Finding a good maid now is depending on your luck. What can I do now , feeling lost but at the same time I am really lucky and blessed to have 1B1G , people was telling me how rare to get a twins and 1B1G somemore . Excited + blessed + feeling lost at the same time. Don know what to do now.
 
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