Disappointed Mum to be..

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piggy77

New Member
I know this is not right, but i just cant stop feeling disappointed.. I had alway hoped to hv a boy as my first child, but my gynae told me most possiblily is a girl..Hubby can see my face change instantly.. I know baby will be sad to know that..I know that health is the most important & i should not bother much on the gender. .but i just cant stop myself..
How can i stop feeling sad & disappointed ? Can someone help me ?
 


Hi Piggy, I had the same kind of feeling when I knew that my baby was a gal. I had wanted a boy for my first child so that I wouldn't have to go through any pressure for my next pregnancy. And I suppose your sadness and disappointment doesn't really come from you, but rather others' reaction towards knowing that its a girl. Am I right? Many people are actually affected by others reaction, hence affecting their own emotions. I am glad that for me, my hubby and in-laws aren't that affected by the gender, hence I got over it in a while. I guess the actual "revelation" came when I held my baby gal in my arms for the first time and I knew I wouldn't trade anything for her. The first time when she smiles at you, plays with you and makes you angry...
I think the most important thing is that your baby gal is safe and healthy and that you try not to be affected by what you think others might think of you.
 
Hi Piggy77
consider this... in the chinese character for good "hao"... the girl radical comes before the boy radical... why? because it is better to have a girl first, then the boy!

as the children grow up, girls will typicall mature faster than boys, and if your elder child is a girl, she will more likely be able to help look after her younger brother than a boy would...

it it helps, start looking at girls clothes... and toys... and start imagining dressing up your girl girl, ribbons, laces, barbie dolls, hairclips etc etc... you will find that its just as enjoyable to have a baby girl.

focus on happy thoughts and positive things about having a girl... you will find that you will be happier and baby will be happier when she comes out.
 
Hi PlanetV,
So glad that i m not the only one who feel that.. sometime i m thinking i m really a bad mummy, why m i feeling sad & disappointed?My hubby,inlaws, my family are not affected by the gender, it is just me ALONE who r unhappy.. maybe is due to i hv a nephew who is so cute & adorable, so i hope to hv a boy lor..
 
Hi Piggy, I am sure you will overcome this feeling as you progress through the pregnancy. Your gal will one day grow up to be as adorable as your nephew
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Stay cheerful and smiley and your baby will be a smiley one when she arrives!
 
Piggy77
just a funny thought... since you have a cute and adorable nephew... imagine your daughter marrying her cute and adorable cousin (or at least playing "wedding")... can't do that with a boy, right?

don't give yourself too much pressure even before baby comes... you are not a bad mummy to have wishes and preferences, only human. would it help if you take more notice of little girls?
 
PlanetV & Ozzie,
Thanks for cheering me up.. I will try to "see open" & don't give myself too much pressure...
 
Hi Piggy77,

I took care of my nephew when he was a baby until he turns 2. I was also "disappointed" when I learnt that I was expecting a girl. I mean I knew all abt looking after a boy and playing with a boy. What do I know abt baby girls?

3 years on.... I'm so glad I have a girl. She's my pride and joy and she's so much more attached to my hb and me as compared to a boy.

And there are so much you can do with girls! My little princess went shopping with me and knew how to colour match the clothes I'm choosing. She knew which kind of makeup goes to which part of the body, she knew wat kind of food I prefer to eat. She trys on shoes when I try on shoes in the shops...

There are tons n tons of things I can do with my dgt than if I had had a boy!

And I supposed another reason why u "can't" seem to be able to get out of your disappointment is cos u hv yet seen your baby, yet to hold her in your arms, yet to smell her baby smell... Things will get much much better through pregnancy and through your princess growing up.

Another school of thot is to think abt those tat wishes to be a parent and yet have difficulty. You shd feel lucky that u r blessed with a child.

Hope u tis helpful.
 
Hi Piggy,

I had tat kind of feeling when i first found out the gender of my baby.. but when i learned that many of my friends were trying hard to concieve (they are only in their 20s), I felt that i'm blessed to have one..so regardless boy or girl, it's god's gift.

Hope u'l feel better
 
Hi PinkPigs & BCheyenne,
I actually do understand what u all mean.. but this "feeling" just came bk again after a while.. I sincerely hope i will get over this feeling as my pregnancy progress. .Thanks for all ur consolation ..

Rgds,
 
Hi PinkPigs & BSheyenne,
I actually do understand what u all mean.. but this "feeling" just came bk again after a while.. I sincerely hope i will get over this feeling as my pregnancy progress. .Thanks for all ur consolation ..

Rgds,
 
When we were told that is a GIRL. It was quite a BIG disappointment for both of us. I cried for weeks and follow by refuse to take 'good' care of the baby. I am very very upset, that it is not a BOY.

Hubby got over quite fast, but not for me. Till now, I still quite upset that my baby is a GIRL. I keep telling my baby that BECAUSE you are not a BOY so mummy cannot love you as much as what you deserves.

This feelings till now and my baby is already 7 mths old
 
Hi Geraldine, I have been following your story over at the other thread. Can I know why you feel quite upset that you have a daughter - is it because you're pressured to have a boy?

Girl or boy, i think they are truly a gift .. my first one is a girl and although i was hoping for a boy for my 2nd one (so i can close shop), we've just received news that we're expecting another girl - we're ok with that, my husband says it gives us a chance to try again later on if we want.

cheer up ok! perhaps you need to seek help if you are suffering from postnatal depression .. i had found it a bit overwhelming to cope by myself initially and the husband even suggested that i seek help cos he thought i was suffering from depression but i was just overwhelmed and tired from being a FTWM and wife ..
 
Oh dear Geraldine. I do hope your girl is your last child because I cannot imagine how neglected and further-dejected she will feel when your next kid is a boy. Poor girl.

I'm certain there are lots of couples who would love to adopt a girl.
 
stressed, confirm my gal is my 1st & final. And I am hoping to get a divorce so that she will grow up in a single parent family.
 
i am not sure wat's wrong of having a girl or a boy. both me & hb got probs conceiving & hv ttc for 1-2yrs trying various methods & eventually conceived aft i did IUI. it's a blessing to hv a kid. now, my son is 4mths+ & i hope to hv a ger for my #2 cos can doll her up like e rest of mummies in my mummy grp. aso, ger will be closer to mummy. in my mummy grp, we complained so much abt MILs & always commented tt our own mums r e best. aren't we mummies girls ourself?
 
My mum told me she was disappointed when she gave birth to me after knowing i am a GIRL! (I am her first child) That's break my HEART! Now, my mum and i can talk about anything, but my brothers not much commumication with my mum.
 
So many mummies want a girl. Like what MRs puppet said, they're closer to mummy. I've always been playing with/babysitting boys, so I've always thought if I were to have a girl I may not know how to "connect". And I always had a feeling I'd have a boy. Then came my sis' baby girl, her 2nd child. Wow, just the fact that she's a girl makes me wanna dote on her so much. Chubby cheeks, big curious eye. Lovely smile. I'm no girlie girl, in fact I'm an animal person, prefer animals to humans.. haha.. but babies, esp when they smile, still melts my heart! MY eldest sis who wanted a girl so bad, 1st child also boy. When she found out my 2nd sis' 2nd bb is girl she immediately adopted her as her Goddaughter! Of course, she loves her own son the best.

So true enough I'm having a boy, everybody's happy for me esp those aunties at the coffeshops.. sigh. Heheh. When I found out, I was more elated about the baby's healthy progress than the sex. I thought my in-laws would prefer a girl in fact cos all boys in the family. MIL and my mum all claim that girls "very close to heart", "good to dote" (in hokkien. And we're all just glad the lil boy in me is healthy.

Anyone who's had a girl would only worry about them being pretty or not i guess. Shouldn't be ashamed or disappointed in the sex. It's your flesh and blood. How'd you feel if your mum feels that way about you. Understand the prob's not with her, you have psychological barriers to overcome man..

But I strongly encourage you to never give up giving her all the love you can muster. One very fine day you'll be glad to have her and understand if it's a boy it'd be the same. How you treat them now will affect how you treat them in future anyway. Good luck and don't give up ok.
 
i have a son and have been praying hard for a girl as i feel a girl will care for the parents more.

i suppose if you have gone thru years of unsuccessful attempts to conceive, you will no longer mind having a girl. for me now, even if God gives me another boy, i will be more than happy to accept. coz, its already a blessing to be able to have a baby.
 
I was kind of upset upon seeing this thread, how can a mummy have this kind of thinking??? Boy or girl, they are your own flesh & blood. They form inside your womb, from a tiny egg, turn into a baby. It is a miricle to have a baby. Imagine the joy when they call u mama, or said ma ma, i love U. And yet there u are saying, "too bad they are not a boy or not a girl so u cannot love them as much"???

How will u feel when they grow up and said, "too bad, u didn't love me as much when i was a child so i won't love u as much also"????
 
I tot I can be classified as crazy after driven mad by my boy....... Wah, there are mommies actually insane.... Feeling heartpain for those bbs rejected by their mommies....Is wrong!

Are u mommies not daughters urseleves???????
 
I am 7mths preggie with boy. During my first few mth pregnancy, a lot of people will ask me prefer girl/boy. Honestly I really dun have a preference in the sex especially this is my first pregnancy. I plan to have 2 or 3 kids & hope to have a mixture of boys & girls.

Geraldine,
I really pity your daughter.
I am the fourth child in my family with 3 eldest sister & 1 younger brother. My mum told us last time she was very dissapointed after give birth to 4 daughters but now she say she is so happy to 4 daughter instead of 4 sons cause daughter close to mum & are more filial. When you are daughter are the one that can help you to toilet, wipe your body.
 
I am now 5 mths plus pregnant. Its a baby girl since cant see anything.

I always wanted to have a boy first, maybe I am a traditional person. Must carry on the family line. I was disappointed as well initially but got over it quite fast. I think it doesn't matter as long as the baby is safe and healthy.

And I dont wish to have that disappointment feeling in me that my baby will feel it too. I think baby will feel very sad.

Just be very happy that we are blessed, baby is god's gift!
 
ppl trust me that gers are better when they grow up, coz they are more sticky to mummies. Unlike boys who will go with the partner, first the gf, den wife. And many typical case, that the boy will listen to the gf's and will stick w her and in the end spend more time w the gf parents den own parents.
 
If you wanna choose the gender then you seek gynae advice before conceiving mah. So unfair to innocent baby girl...
 
IN my case... i'm disappointed cos i got pregnant so soon. Feel that i haven't loved my son enough. Haven't watched him enough. He's still such a baby to me...and I love him so. He's gonna turn 14mths in a few days.. No.2 is expected to due on 4th of August. They'll be about 20mths apart. Yeah, ppl told me it's not so bad not as if they're 12-13mths apart and that it's good to have a close sibling.

But it's gonna be tough, in fact i Know it's tough handling 2 toddlers. One newborn, one still walking and not talking or potty trained yet. Actually, that's what i tell myself so i won't feel guilty and bad about this. I am so afraid i can't love this child as much as it deserves. I feel so bad about it.

People usually are disppointed cos reality is different from their initial expectations. As in my case, I've planned to conceive only after my baby's at least 3.. So this is quite an accident. And of course hoping for a girl this time, though a boy would be fine with me as well... but if i had a girl and never conceived again, i would be contented for life. Hahaha..

So it's been long now.. your girl must have grown up fine and lovely by now. Piggy77, how're you feeling now?
 
Hi Ling,

What you feel is absolutely normal. Many mothers wonder how they can ever love their second child as much as their first...but when they have more children, they realise they love all just as much.

I went through the exact same feeling that you described...but now that my both kids are 4YO and 6YO, that feeling has long disappeared, and I love both just as much...

Not to worry too much about this...

BTW- my kids were also born 21 months apart...
 
Hi Fairyprincess,

YEah. I actually found out about that when I was reading a book after i gave birth.. and it said the same thing which i always remembered because it is very true and, very sweet. My mom has 4 kids and she loved us all the same..

Anyways.. most of the blues I'm having now is the fact that this baby was very unexpected. I am very ashamed that I feel this way. Like being so disappointed.. Because I was at the point where I thought I could start a new career and now this! It's gonna be very tough and would hinder my movements.. need to travel alot in my work and i don't drive. Company don't even reimburse my transport fees.

Thank God my boss has allowed me to do something more lightweight, though i'd still need to do occasional travelling but I'm only glad he cares.

It's great reading your words. Thank you.. I feel encouraged and am especially thrilled to learn that your kids are 21mths apart! heh heh..
 
I see...yes, the unexpected part can be quite frustrating...

However, from my exp, having both quite close apart means you can get it over and done with earlier (if you plan to have 2 only)...

And the best part is they grow up together, its easier for you to focus more on your career/ other things later on...then to have to deal with another baby after the first has grown...

Yep, need to adjust your expectations for now...

Some people put off till much later, then realise cannot get pregnant so easily for the 2nd time...
 
hi mummies,
i've had a 5y.o son.We waited for 3yrs b4 trying for the 2nd kid.Unfortunately,I've had miscarriage "twice".

So Ling,don't get upset.There r many ladies out there who experience miscarriage like me,or having problems to conceive.U r lucky...i mean just count urself lucky that u conceive so easily n smooth delivery,healthy baby..etc...

I always regret tat I waited too long to try for the 2nd kid.Now I am turning 35 this yr..consider "old mummy"....How i wish i've had 2childrens wf 1yr-2yrs gap earlier,i mean,when both me n my hb r still young so we might not nid to go the agony of losing the babies.
 
Hi,

My 1st 2 children are 11 months apart. One born in Dec 2001 and the other in October 2002. They could potentially be in the same year!

My No. 1 is a girl and I was hoping that my 1st born is a son given that my hubby comes from a traditional hainanese family and his father and him are the only son in the family. So I felt that if I have a son 1st, I will feel less pressured. So I was disappointed that I was gg to have a girl. But I recalled that during one of the ultrasound, we saw the foetus sucking her thumb so that sort of changed my "disappointment".

Also based on horoscope (superstitious reasons) they said that if I tried for a child in yr of horse, I will get a boy. For that reasons, we tried and fortunately for us, we had a son. That explains the close gap.

They are now in P2 and P1 and early years were tough on the caregivers given that they both require attn. One interesting observation is that my daughter will take care of her 4 yr old sister but not my son. Maybe the gap is too close that she don't find herself obliged to act like a big sister.

Also, given the close gap, she don't understand abt sibling rivalry but of course they fight alot when they grow older.

Another miss that i felt was my son's bb days as days passed by too fast with 2 of them around the same age that we didn't have time to enjoy them individually.

But one good thing is they grow up together. We had to start all over with the bb stuff after birth of 3rd child. Also now they are in Pri schools, there are alot of synergy having the close gaps. I can apply the learning from my girl to my son,etc... So view it positively.

When i was expecting the 3rd (unexpected), I had hope for another son. I prefer boys to girls but also I hope my son is not the only son in the family and break that tradition. Well... we had a girl but no regrets as she is such a clever and bright little girl so maybe it's god's will for us to have her after all. She is so diff from the siblings and my fil (being traditional abt boys) also pampers her alot.
 
Hi,

Am sadden by some mummies who express disappointment when they learnt tat their first child is a girl or have preferance for boys to girls.

We r also daughters of our parents. So aren't one feel ashame to have such thoughts. Imagine your parents tell U tat they had wanted a boy and not you. Such thinking should not have existed.

Majority of the sons r not as filial as daughters. Having daughters r better than having a son. No matter what happen, daughters r the 1st one to rush home to see to your needs.

Hope that you folks will see the light one of these days.
 
Yeah.
All have sons lor. In 25 yrs, all mums to daughters will have a field day choosing Son in Laws.

To have many boys competing for 1 girl, you think your son will still be as filial? He might just lose out in the competition.

Save up for dowry for foreign DIL ok? And be careful. If you are not to their liking, they might just murder you. Cultural Clash...
 
Kell (closetdoor),

Hey cool it! What you said is hilarious..! Haha.. and is true..BUT only to a certain degree 'cause it's only happened in very unique circumstances. And then hor, you really break my heart lor. I am expecting a son. ANOTHER son. And you won't believe how in this time and age some aunties can still come and tell me WOW! Very good ah you! Chances are they didn't have sons or grandsons or have more daughters or granddaughters.

That crap said, your post reminded me of something man.... Some of us mommies here could be in-laws in future man! Creepy! I Know!
 
mine is a girl too. why have to be bothered by the others. u r a girl yourself. should feel proud right?
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anyway, i hated it when others commented "oh, girl also good.", "next time try for a boy". i didnt ask those people for their consolation, in the first place i m proud of my little girl. why do they have to console me? esp those older generation. they r getting on my nerves by telling my baby girl that "tell mummy to give birth to a younger bro to play with you."

i m hearing this frm my MIL whom claimed to be trying for girl but ended up having 3 sons 4 times a wk when she came over for a month's stay!
 
Hi Ling (avagythe),

Sorry, no offences to mums of boys! I was refering to those that sort of "complain" about having daughters. LOL

I mean if everyone insist on having boys, then what I said might hold truth lor. :p
 
Yah just look at the imbalance they've in China now. China men have problem looking for wives as there are not enough girls.

Recently, my china colleague was telling me that they prefer girl to boy as girl tend to be closer to the parents. It was interesting that the new age parents are now open to kids of both sexes. Anyway girls are just as good and capable these days. Their earning power is no less than men. In fact, sometimes much more.

I think more importantly is being a useful person. I rather have a daughter who can contribute to the society than a "bai jia zi".
 
Hi, what is wrong about having a girl? What is important is the child is bright and healthy. There are many people out there wanting to have a child badly and couldn't. You should feel blessed that you have one, regardless of gender.

My 1st child is a girl and I am happy. I can play dolls and "cooking" with her. I can dress her in pretty outfits. I can have friends saying she will grow up as pretty as Mummy
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And another plus factor is: She is a girl so I don't have to face the issue of not getting along with my daughter-in-law in the future! I don't get along with my mil. My mil herself also doesn't get along with her mil. Even my mum and sister also doesn't get along with their mils.
 
Dear all mummies who prefer having a boy over a girl,

Is it due to the constant pressure from the in-laws or society that produce such a thinking that a boy is better than a girl? And in whatever ways are boys better than girls? I am extremely curious...can anyone please tell me in details? Yes, the son bears the father’s surname. So?? Is this only what they are worth of?

Despite any gender of your child, it’s the ‘love-product’ of your spouse and you. And that’s what really matters. Please, it’s YOUR own flesh and blood whom you carried for 10 long months in your womb. Thus why allow the gender of the baby to determine how much love you are to give to your child?

And JUST because your baby is a girl, does she deserve to receive LESS love from you? This is so UNFAIR. You, yourself is girl. Imagine your own mum treats you like an ‘inferior goods’, as compared to your brother who is valued as a ‘prized item’. Please, put yourself in your little girl’s position. Imagine all the hurts and little love you are giving to her; just because she is a girl. Trust me, you will one day filled with regrets for not connecting intimately with your little girl who loves to be close to your heart. At the end of the day, YOU are the one losing out because you are left with none who is close to your heart at old age.

Looking into the future, when your precious son marries someone else’s daughter, will you be there to fight over the attention of your son from your daughter-in-law? Mostly the answer is a yes because you simply can’t let go of your son to another woman. Instead of doting on your daughter-in-law, you see her as your ‘enemy’ who took your son’s attention away from you. No wonder there are millions of stories of difficult monster-in-laws....oops, I mean mother-in-laws, not getting along well with their daughter-in-laws. All because these mother-in-laws overly value their sons and simply can’t accept the fact that their precious sons are no longer their mummy’s boys. And who is the one suffering in the end? It’s your beloved son who is being torn apart between the 2 most important women in his life. Is this what you want best for your son?

Let me tell you this: Boys/Men are functional. Girls/Women are emotional. This is a FACT.

Girls are indeed closer to her parents than boys do. Girls are emotionally driven. Their hearts are always linking to the family; even after they are married. And please bear this mind that men are meant to start their own family and take up the leadership in his own household. In short, he needs to leave home to build his very own nest from ground zero with his new wife. And you can’t expect him to come back home as frequent as you want him to, to have dinner with you. But most of the time, girls will still visit their parents on their own accord after they are married.

Now imagine another mother who very much favours her son over her daughter. And this daughter grew up being unloved and insecure; having little ‘fuel’ in her love tank. That girl may someday be your son’s wife. You think she would advise your son to be filial to you? The cycle goes on. The ‘battle’ is endless, aimless and fruitless.

Please, love your little girl with all your heart. She is your precious little princess; she is part of you. You gave life to her, so please treasure her. She is equally as precious as your little boy. She deserves equal love and attention from you.
 
chanced upon this old non-active thread but i feel prompted to give my 2 cents:

it's interesting how some seek to 'console' the thread starter by naming the negative points of having boys. Doesn't that put you on par with the thread starter who has a gender bias?

Yes, I have 2 boys - 2yo and 6 mth old. Yes, I have all along preferred girls. And yes, I have felt some disappointment twice when I found out they are boys. And yes, i still hope to have a girl someday.

But the 2 boys i have now are as precious to me. I would NOT trade them for a girl. That's not sour grapes but it's the bond that has been fostered from their birth. So it kinda breaks my heart to see how some comments in this thread put down the boys and elevate the girls. Focus should be that children are God-given, not made by us. They are given. And that alone should suffice that they are precious, girls AND boys.

I sure hope all children are loved by the parents who are tasked to care and love them.
 
Totally agree with what babyjosh wrote. All children deserve unconditional love from their natural parents (and I don't mean in the form of material gifts/$)!

We're also born female and should know how it feels being discriminated against (if it's happened to u before at home/work). Don't ever give in to societal/domestic pressure if folks make comparisons or give suggestions to 'try' for a boy.
 
i can't understand y would ppl be disappointed over gender issues.
Children are GOD-given. Everything else can be planned and prepared. MY 1st born is a son. An accident. My hb was happy to have a boy to carry the family name but at the same time he wanted a girl as many of his friends are fathers to girls. he doesn't have any friend who have a boy for a child.

4years down the road, we decided to have another. this time, it took us months to prepare our bodies and effort to plan for a baby girl. Well, we succeeded. I personally like boys as my 1st born is very attached to me. But my hb on the other hand is so happy that he's splurging everything on her even b4 she's born.

Though I prefer boys not due to gender but the feeling I get my #1, I believe my daughter will be just as attached and loving towards me. After all, I carried her for whole 9months. shouldn't it count for something?

For people who can't love their children due to disappointed gender, I do hope you do not attempt to have more kids. Not worrying that you can't handle the disappointment but I fear for the kids' emotional scarring in future.
 
I'm about 6 months on now and having a boy. But truth be told, I've always wanted a girl.

But the reason is because being a girl myself, I feel as though I understand what a girl would go through and know instantly what sort of support to provide, as a parent.

So I'm apprehensive about whether I can provide that same nurturing and empathetic motherly role for a boy. Sure, I will do what I can to keep him safe and comfortable but further down the road, when he grows up and goes through adolescence, I don't know if I'll be able to understand what boys go through, his motivations and hurdles, nor be able to counsel him if I need to.

Do any of you feel that way?
 
my MIL said hw come everybody is hving boys when i told her i got gal...sian till max..haha anyway i dont need her comments also..
 
Hi Nuggetnaut, though I'm still early in my pregnancy, i share your sentiments about having a girl.

Other than not being sure about what boys go through in their minds (that's later in their lives), I'm not sure if I have the energy to look after a boy as boys tend to be a lot more active.
 
BBKay, your MIL is really too insensitive with her comment.

One day soon after I got married, my SIL who has a boy commented to me & hubby that it would be nice if we have a daughter. My MIL immed said "CHOI! how can you say that?!" I did't hear what her daughter said to educate her because I stepped out of the house right then. But I knew then what's my MIL's natural preference already.
 
There are a lot of people who experience gender disappointment. And often they just don't talk about it.

After reading the comments on this discussion about gender disappointment, moms have varied thoughts.

Some wished for one sex, but got the other, yet were just happy the baby was healthy. Others have experienced disappointment when finding out the sex wasn't what they had hoped for.
 
Hi all!

Piggy77 --
I wonder what life with your 4 year old daughter is like now? If you are still following this thread, please enlighten us!

Blessedbunny, Baby Josh, Petrina, and others –-
Just want to share my story and views to lighten the mood.

I am currently pregnant with my first child, gender yet unknown. The pregnancy was planned from many aspects, I suppose the circumstances of which reflect my character. I try to leave little to chance, but of course, chance often surprises us nonetheless.

My husband and I have decided to try for a boy first for a variety of reasons. Based on methods backed by statistics, we have timed intercourse to coincide exactly with ovulation. This arrangement greatly increases the chances of our baby being male. It is too early to tell if we have succeeded. Those who are interested in choosing the gender of their baby can PM me in 2 months' time and I will tell you if my method worked.

Our reasons are as such, and they range from maybe logical to frivolous --
- we think boys may make for less worrying than girls, hence having a boy lets us have a bit of a parenting warm-up for a subsequent girl. (maybe logical)
- we think boys may be more energetic than girls, hence having a boy while we are younger and have more energy makes sense. (maybe logical)
- we think there is no harm in appeasing whichever older folk's desire for boys in the family (the prejudice shall stop with us, as will the multitude of wedding superstitions we previously abided by for our parents’ sake) (OK... makes sense right?)
- we really like the name "Ethan", now we just need a baby boy. (frivolous)

We all have our personal reasons, no matter logical or frivolous. We are similar this way.

The difference is some of us will actually love our children less if it isn't of the gender of our choice.

There are people who are disappointed by the gender of their baby, and I can empathize even though I do not subscribe to their beliefs. For instance, for those who were brought up in traditional families and experienced first-hand the effects of sexism, their psyche could have been permanently scarred to favour male offspring. It does not make sense, and it is not ideal, but that's the way the world rolls for these people.

Let’s try to lend them some compassion, and hope life subsequently treats them well. Perhaps they will come to realize the “unfoundedness” of their prejudice, and love their children all the same regardless of their children’s gender.

PS: For those who want girls because they only have son(s) now, the imbalance is unfortunate but on the bright side, you will eventually get daughter(s)-in-law when your son(s) marry!

PPS: FYI, I will love my baby all the same, regardless of gender. If my baby turns out to be female, what can I say, except -- the female sperm carrying the X-chromosome was a commando sperm who beat all the male sperms! :p
 


it been quite upset to see such threads especially abt Geraldine, i pity her daughter for having such a mother.. after seeing her posts on letting her grow up in a single parent family etc.. i wonder how can one feel / treat their own child like these.
It been a few yrs now and i wonder how her daughter is doing currently.

Been borned a girl doesnt mean it a dead end.. why in such a modern day still have such thinking..Please rem gender all depend on husband.. blame it on the man not on the innocent kids.
 
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