wobblejelly
Member
Highheels - thanks for sharing your story here. It's good that you got support from your family and managed to overcome PND.
!!!!**************!!!A Support Group for postnatal depression
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wobblejelly
Member
new mummy - learn to be kind to yourself. some bbs are fussy and will keep crying. Furthermore, you are juggling betw work study and responsibilities of being a mum. It will get better once the bb is older.
Tonight bb took a bit longer than usual to fall asleep and it triggered my irritation again. In my heart I was shouting at her to ask her to just sleep. Then I felt so guilty. She did not make noise but was looking around, kicking and punching here n there. As long as she was not asleep, I felt very stressed and irritable. I was scrolling through my photos just now, and realised that I don't seem to be able to feel a sense of happiness looking at her, but instead felt stressed. In my frustration I admitted to my mum how much I hated having to make bb sleep at night cos sometimes she just takes so long. I even told her I wanted to hire my cl again. But my mum just flatly said that I'm being too ridiculous to hire a cl again. She suggested that I let my elder gal slp w me and bb slp w maid so maid can tc of bb. Of cos this is a cheaper (in fact, free) option but the problem is I don't quite trust my maid. Eg, if bb wake at night, how can I make sure that my maid don't fall asleep while feedin bb halfway, or even lazy to burp bb n let bb go back to sleep so she (maid) can go back to sleep sooner. Bottom line is I'm afraid my maid will cut corners and affect bb. Maid also tc of bb during day time and my elder one is in childcare till 5pm. if my maid is tired from the night feeds etc, i dont expect her to do housework... i rather I do housework than tc bb.. if bb slp in the afternoon i will also let her nap to catch up on sleep... I cannot afford to have my maid falling sick or a maid that does nt have enough rest. My bb has slept alr since 11pm but i cant fall asleep cos i feel so plagued by so many problems. Should I let my maid try tc of bb day and night?
wendysu
Member
Ashlyn,
I think it is better to allow your maid to tc of your baby, maybe not everyday, how about taking rounds?
I was like you previously, i couldn't sleep and even fallen sick when taking care of my #2, in the end, i let the maid take care.
You know your maid attitude well so if you think that she is reliable, you have let her ease stress and let you relax. Perhaps after a few days rest and sleep, you can resume to tc baby? You can do better.
I think it is better to allow your maid to tc of your baby, maybe not everyday, how about taking rounds?
I was like you previously, i couldn't sleep and even fallen sick when taking care of my #2, in the end, i let the maid take care.
You know your maid attitude well so if you think that she is reliable, you have let her ease stress and let you relax. Perhaps after a few days rest and sleep, you can resume to tc baby? You can do better.
orientalfrost
New Member
i suspect that i have PND or PNA or PTSD or PTSA. So i went to the polyclinic to get a referral to SGH. Initially the GP wanted to refer me to IMH. Don't they ever know that there are other hospitals that have therapy for such cases as well. So i requested for SGH. but is SGH ok or should i change to KKH?
Ashlyn,
I was like you..until I decided to let maid try the night shift. However, I will still wake up to ensure maid does it correctly.After afew nights, I know she can handle it it well..then slowly...I completely let her take over the night shift. U gotta learn to trust your maid.
By you waking up during the night shift watching over your maid is so much easier than u personally handle your bb since your frustration is there and there would be a feeling of unbalance over your lost sleep when you does that...Meanwhile, if your maid is taking the night shift, during the day, let her nap as well..else she will be very tired very fast..
I did that to my maid and all was well...Hope it does the same to you.
I was like you..until I decided to let maid try the night shift. However, I will still wake up to ensure maid does it correctly.After afew nights, I know she can handle it it well..then slowly...I completely let her take over the night shift. U gotta learn to trust your maid.
By you waking up during the night shift watching over your maid is so much easier than u personally handle your bb since your frustration is there and there would be a feeling of unbalance over your lost sleep when you does that...Meanwhile, if your maid is taking the night shift, during the day, let her nap as well..else she will be very tired very fast..
I did that to my maid and all was well...Hope it does the same to you.
kittyminky
Member
Hi natty,
I think SGH is fine. When I had PND, I went to KKH, but that was because my gynae was there and so she referred me to a psy in KK as well. It's great that you are coming forward and seeking help
I think SGH is fine. When I had PND, I went to KKH, but that was because my gynae was there and so she referred me to a psy in KK as well. It's great that you are coming forward and seeking help
orientalfrost
New Member
but if u were to choose between KKH & SGH, which will you choose?
having a dilemma on whether i should keep to SGH and wait for another 3months before my appointment or transfer to KKH and see if they have an earlier slot.
my condition worsens in the night. i will become a worrywart. sometimes i do feel that i don't love my baby. especially when she makes me agitated. sometimes i just feel like smacking her like mad. whcih i did a few times. felt rather guilty and helpless after that. i think my condition has also taken a toll on hb cuz he gets rather frustrated when i act up and we will end up with shouting matches and me breaking down in the end.
having a dilemma on whether i should keep to SGH and wait for another 3months before my appointment or transfer to KKH and see if they have an earlier slot.
my condition worsens in the night. i will become a worrywart. sometimes i do feel that i don't love my baby. especially when she makes me agitated. sometimes i just feel like smacking her like mad. whcih i did a few times. felt rather guilty and helpless after that. i think my condition has also taken a toll on hb cuz he gets rather frustrated when i act up and we will end up with shouting matches and me breaking down in the end.
kittyminky
Member
Hi natty,
Hmm, I would probably choose KK. It's a hospital specifically for women and children, and so PND is something they encounter quite often.
How old is your child? And how long have you been feeling like this? Does your hubby know about PND and understand that it's a real condition and not "all in your head"?
Hmm, I would probably choose KK. It's a hospital specifically for women and children, and so PND is something they encounter quite often.
How old is your child? And how long have you been feeling like this? Does your hubby know about PND and understand that it's a real condition and not "all in your head"?
orientalfrost
New Member
my child is 21 months now. I've been feeling this for quite awhile. Think it escalated over time as we thought it would go off quite soon. I seem to cry quite alot even after 6 months from birth. I did read up quite a fair bit about PND, PNA and PTSD after especially after my dad pointed it out. But somehow it became very bad after he pointed it out, which is why hb and me decided to seek professional help. But he does not understand much about PND so he can't help me so much. I'm trying to feed him more information from websites nowadays though, but he's always too tired to read up, and when i explain to him, i end up being frustrated or exasperated myself too. My dad keeps mentioning about medication, but I would very much prefer to go through the therapy method instead. There is still the stigma about any form of depression being a disease I believe. I do not hear any voices so it's definitely not schizophrenia. Yes, i read up about schizophrenia also as my MIL has it. Sigh.. It seems like I'm surrounded by family members whose mental health has deteriorated. My mum has OCB. My dad's gf has some depression and menopausal issues as well.
Dear Fion40. Congratulations on your new baby!!
I am sorry to hear about your lack of sleep - and I'm afraid that such chronic lack of sleep does very nasty things to our minds. But you know what is the good news? Putting a post here, and sharing how you feel is actually a good step in the right direction. You are not alone. Many of us had gone through the same things. I used to cry a lot too, and if you ask me now, I can't even tell you why! I can tell you that I sent my husband to Borders and Times to find me a book by Gina Ford titled The Contented Little Baby. And that was a great read while breastfeeding, and that made me much more focused and confident as a new mother. With the next two births, I went through other uncertainties, some tears too, but I knew how to soldier on!
In my case, 90% of it involves setting routines. It helped me tremendously. The important part is to have a structured routine for your baby. Do the same thing at the same time everyday. Although the baby may at first not be familiar with the routines, they do learn very quickly, and it helps us to anticipate what is next, and what else is next after that. Example of a 2-week old routine would be:
7am - awake and first morning feed. some awake time, some bonding time, leave him on the cot, nicely tucked in for a nap.
9:45am - awake and takes a nice warm bath, followed by 2nd feed.
10am - 2nd feed, followed by a long morning nap. (mommy naps, or have a snack, or this is when the massage lady comes in)
1pm - feed, followed by play and sleep. (mommy has lunch before 1pm. Drink lots of soup.)
4pm - feed, followed by play and sleep. (mommy has tea before feed. sleep when baby sleeps)
6.45pm - bath, followed by feed.
7pm - feed and sleep. lights off. curtains drawn. (mommy has dinner. watch some tv.)
10pm - 11pm - baby might need another feed ... so mommy might want to express before going to bed, or feed right before sleeping.
And then you wake up at night when baby needs a feed. that is normal. But it helps when you have those short naps after feeding the baby. And let your baby learn to entertain himself, and coo himself to sleep. They are usually okay at this stage. They will make some noise and whine... and whine... and sleep!
Good luck!
I am sorry to hear about your lack of sleep - and I'm afraid that such chronic lack of sleep does very nasty things to our minds. But you know what is the good news? Putting a post here, and sharing how you feel is actually a good step in the right direction. You are not alone. Many of us had gone through the same things. I used to cry a lot too, and if you ask me now, I can't even tell you why! I can tell you that I sent my husband to Borders and Times to find me a book by Gina Ford titled The Contented Little Baby. And that was a great read while breastfeeding, and that made me much more focused and confident as a new mother. With the next two births, I went through other uncertainties, some tears too, but I knew how to soldier on!
In my case, 90% of it involves setting routines. It helped me tremendously. The important part is to have a structured routine for your baby. Do the same thing at the same time everyday. Although the baby may at first not be familiar with the routines, they do learn very quickly, and it helps us to anticipate what is next, and what else is next after that. Example of a 2-week old routine would be:
7am - awake and first morning feed. some awake time, some bonding time, leave him on the cot, nicely tucked in for a nap.
9:45am - awake and takes a nice warm bath, followed by 2nd feed.
10am - 2nd feed, followed by a long morning nap. (mommy naps, or have a snack, or this is when the massage lady comes in)
1pm - feed, followed by play and sleep. (mommy has lunch before 1pm. Drink lots of soup.)
4pm - feed, followed by play and sleep. (mommy has tea before feed. sleep when baby sleeps)
6.45pm - bath, followed by feed.
7pm - feed and sleep. lights off. curtains drawn. (mommy has dinner. watch some tv.)
10pm - 11pm - baby might need another feed ... so mommy might want to express before going to bed, or feed right before sleeping.
And then you wake up at night when baby needs a feed. that is normal. But it helps when you have those short naps after feeding the baby. And let your baby learn to entertain himself, and coo himself to sleep. They are usually okay at this stage. They will make some noise and whine... and whine... and sleep!
Good luck!
fion40
Active Member
Hi...hv u recovered?
ultrajo
New Member
Dear all, I just had my second baby but same as the first every time when bb cries I cannot take it I feel very angry and will bang things. I have thoughts of throwing them and sometimes when I'm very angry I'll smack the backside hard. When I'm ok and carrying bb near window sometimes I have thoughts like what happens if I throw bb down or do anything harmful to them. I will just imagine things here and there and I am very very tired but I have difficulties sleeping. Thinking if I should see psychiatrist and have someone to take to. But if u see me I can act normally and joke and laugh but deep in my heart I feel I'm another person.
shearer
Active Member
Cure for PND... go find a fling.... nah. Just joking. .. TLC is best cure.. no matter from who... but no offense. .. from my personal experience. Mummies who tio PND often dun have good figures... saggy boobs lah. A cups lah.. thick waist... u name it. Seldom. Rarely u see a C cup perky, long legged mummy suffering from PND... get the drift? Exercise more! Lead a healthy lifestyle
Sheeep
New Member
Shearer, it's unfair to judge that mummies suffering from it have bad figures. Pnd can strike on anyone. I had PND and I agree, a strict routine is what helped me got out of it. if you find it difficult to put a time to your routine since baby can choose to feed or sleep longer than expected... You can try fitting your day into 3 segments. Morning, afternoon and night. That helped me alot.
shearer
Active Member
thats why, Sheeep, we must stay healthy.. exercise.. leave the kids to hubby.. we go workout... less chances of striking PND.. but seriously, for argument's sake, you really ever come across PND victims with good figures who are also sporty??? i dun think so...
marathons participants, perky boobs, below 30s-waistline, weekly yoga sessions, etc etc.. such a mummy will never have time for PND...
marathons participants, perky boobs, below 30s-waistline, weekly yoga sessions, etc etc.. such a mummy will never have time for PND...
gooseberry
Member
U r so humorous, Shearer. I've all tt, yet, I'm still unhappy.
Hi shearer, I just gave birth 3 weeks ago and I'm one of those lucky few to have gone back to my pre-pregnancy figure with all the tonic soups my mom made everyday and also with the help of jamu massage.
So currently I'm back to my uk6/8 size but I'm also suffering from pnd.
I believe it's due to me still being traumatic by my long birth (23 hours then had forceps to assist delivery). For the first week my body was in so much pain that I couldn't do much to take care of my baby. And I'm constantly stressed and worrying about how to take care of my baby after confinement.
Anyway I believe pnd is mostly caused by our hormones, emotional scars and physical scars. Not so much about saggy boobs/ bums or 30s waistline ba.. And also during confinement, how to go out and sweat it out? Lol!
So currently I'm back to my uk6/8 size but I'm also suffering from pnd.
I believe it's due to me still being traumatic by my long birth (23 hours then had forceps to assist delivery). For the first week my body was in so much pain that I couldn't do much to take care of my baby. And I'm constantly stressed and worrying about how to take care of my baby after confinement.
Anyway I believe pnd is mostly caused by our hormones, emotional scars and physical scars. Not so much about saggy boobs/ bums or 30s waistline ba.. And also during confinement, how to go out and sweat it out? Lol!
Fion40, things will get better after two months when baby can sleep longer at night. When baby sleep thru the night and with your milk supply established, u can regain sanity. Hang in there mama, things will get better.
I've been thru pnd. Exercise does help to make one feel better, but it can't ️totally cure pnd. Find some me time. That will preserve some sanity and help regulate the hormones.
I've been thru pnd. Exercise does help to make one feel better, but it can't ️totally cure pnd. Find some me time. That will preserve some sanity and help regulate the hormones.
shearer
Active Member
TTC2014, i m glad that things can only get better for you. you go, girl! happy for u seh...
put it this way, gal, like what you believe, you are a lucky lady, dun ever stop such a way of thinking...
cant sweat out during confinement? cool... how about monitoring the US, UK and local stock markets to increase your portfolio value... if you can do that, I will bet my last dollar that you wont have time for anything else..
put it this way, gal, like what you believe, you are a lucky lady, dun ever stop such a way of thinking...
cant sweat out during confinement? cool... how about monitoring the US, UK and local stock markets to increase your portfolio value... if you can do that, I will bet my last dollar that you wont have time for anything else..
gooseberry
Member
Shearer: unhappy w hubby lor. Anyw it's off the point in this thread
Hi
I dunno if I am having pnd. My second son is coming to 4 month next week. I had a terrible confinement. Just second week after I give birth . I quarrel with my hub. He din give in to me. And hurt me even more. And I went totally crazy. I din eat anything for a few days . My parents got so worried. My mum was around when I was quarreling with my hub. I kick him asking him to go out of the room. He don't . My mum was outside begging him to give in to me. Just because of my mum saying him that he won't have internal injuries. He hated her since then. He never call my mum when he is at my parents. My kids are at my parents house. They talk care of them. So my hub will go up my parent house everyday but never call them at all. This is driving me crazy. I am trying to hold back. Today is the second time I went crazy. I beg him to call my mum. He refused and start being nasty to me again. Saying all sort of hurtful words . Say he will be even more mean . Etc. I M really crazy. I don't really love my second son. Dunno Izzit due to all these issue. I heard my mum telling my dad saying my hub never call her. Help him take care of the kids really not worth. It pains me deeply . I don't mind me taking all the hurts from him. I am sort of used to it. He is never good to me. I regret marrying him and giving birth to two kids. I cry until my eyes are so swollen . So now he won't call my mum and he will be more mean. What can I do? I can't think properly . Can't stop crying.
I dunno if I am having pnd. My second son is coming to 4 month next week. I had a terrible confinement. Just second week after I give birth . I quarrel with my hub. He din give in to me. And hurt me even more. And I went totally crazy. I din eat anything for a few days . My parents got so worried. My mum was around when I was quarreling with my hub. I kick him asking him to go out of the room. He don't . My mum was outside begging him to give in to me. Just because of my mum saying him that he won't have internal injuries. He hated her since then. He never call my mum when he is at my parents. My kids are at my parents house. They talk care of them. So my hub will go up my parent house everyday but never call them at all. This is driving me crazy. I am trying to hold back. Today is the second time I went crazy. I beg him to call my mum. He refused and start being nasty to me again. Saying all sort of hurtful words . Say he will be even more mean . Etc. I M really crazy. I don't really love my second son. Dunno Izzit due to all these issue. I heard my mum telling my dad saying my hub never call her. Help him take care of the kids really not worth. It pains me deeply . I don't mind me taking all the hurts from him. I am sort of used to it. He is never good to me. I regret marrying him and giving birth to two kids. I cry until my eyes are so swollen . So now he won't call my mum and he will be more mean. What can I do? I can't think properly . Can't stop crying.
