Dear ALTQQ,
from your story, please allow me to a few points of observation.
your marriage, by virtue of it being a shotgun, seems lacking in true love and deep understanding of each other.
i may suspect that its sexual attraction which brought both of you together and now, if you dont take...
First thing first, dun put too much pressure on urself or hubby.
Secondly, have confidence in ur body, no matter what shape it is in...
Thirdly, do not lose the connection between sex and love...