Who pays for what at home ???
- Thread starter rayray
- Start date
chinkerina
Member
Its a financial issue, u can try get an agent that your trust to talk about it.
I've done it for my client, but all party must be open minded to talk about it. just like going to pyscologist.
I'm Rina from Great Eastern Life. You can contact me at 90284275
I've done it for my client, but all party must be open minded to talk about it. just like going to pyscologist.
I'm Rina from Great Eastern Life. You can contact me at 90284275
joyinthelord
New Member
Annedrew, I'm actually in same situation as you now.. hubby has quit his job since last year and is working freelance, ie. no fixed income, and always claims he has no $$.
so now, the situation is..
Car - He borrowed $ from his parents to pay the full amount to the car dealer, but I am not sure the rate of repayment he gives his parents, I also dun dare to ask them..
House - We stay with my in-laws, so no issue.
Money for in-laws - Because we stay with them, every month I give him $700 to give his parents. My mum-in-law also helps to look after my gal. I am also not sure how much of this amount he passes on to his parents.. also dun dare ask them.
Joint account - I asked him to contribute 10% of whatever income he gets from his freelance jobs to the joint account, but he always "forgets" to do so and will yell at me when I ask repeatedly. So basically joint account is all my $$, about 20% of my current salary goes there. Funnily enough he seems to think joint account is a bottomless pit and always says to take $ from there to pay for stuff like gynae visits, hospital bill for delivery. So basically all these are paid by me.
Baby items - Necessities (milk powder, diapers, wipes), depends on who goes to supermarket. Who goes, will pay. But its usually me who goes anyway, about 70% of the time. If we go together, he pays. For things like clothes and toys, always I pay - because its always me who cannot resist buying her new things haha.
Allowance - Nope, no allowance or angpow ever since marriage. If I want to buy anything, I pay for it myself.. even my birthday present or Christmas present - he will always tell me to pay first and he'll pay me back, but as above will always "forget" to do so, and again yell if I remind him for the $ too many times. To be fair he also pays for anything that he himself wants to buy and won't ask $ from me.
Outings - He pays. Nowadays outings very rare, less than once a month? Hard to find time to go out since #1 is born, and since he always complain no $$ we will end up eating pretty inexpensive food anyway. There's hardly anything we do on outings except go for meals.. he rejects whenever I suggest bringing #1 out for things like parks, zoo, shows etc saying its a waste of money n she is too young to go for such things.
Maid levy - I pay, since maid is employed in my name.. Need to have maid as my #2 is on the way already.
Since I am also the cannot-stand-unpaid-bills kind, I figure most of the stuff is paid by me. I've no supp cards to him (phew) and he has no supp cards to me either.
so now, the situation is..
Car - He borrowed $ from his parents to pay the full amount to the car dealer, but I am not sure the rate of repayment he gives his parents, I also dun dare to ask them..
House - We stay with my in-laws, so no issue.
Money for in-laws - Because we stay with them, every month I give him $700 to give his parents. My mum-in-law also helps to look after my gal. I am also not sure how much of this amount he passes on to his parents.. also dun dare ask them.
Joint account - I asked him to contribute 10% of whatever income he gets from his freelance jobs to the joint account, but he always "forgets" to do so and will yell at me when I ask repeatedly. So basically joint account is all my $$, about 20% of my current salary goes there. Funnily enough he seems to think joint account is a bottomless pit and always says to take $ from there to pay for stuff like gynae visits, hospital bill for delivery. So basically all these are paid by me.
Baby items - Necessities (milk powder, diapers, wipes), depends on who goes to supermarket. Who goes, will pay. But its usually me who goes anyway, about 70% of the time. If we go together, he pays. For things like clothes and toys, always I pay - because its always me who cannot resist buying her new things haha.
Allowance - Nope, no allowance or angpow ever since marriage. If I want to buy anything, I pay for it myself.. even my birthday present or Christmas present - he will always tell me to pay first and he'll pay me back, but as above will always "forget" to do so, and again yell if I remind him for the $ too many times. To be fair he also pays for anything that he himself wants to buy and won't ask $ from me.
Outings - He pays. Nowadays outings very rare, less than once a month? Hard to find time to go out since #1 is born, and since he always complain no $$ we will end up eating pretty inexpensive food anyway. There's hardly anything we do on outings except go for meals.. he rejects whenever I suggest bringing #1 out for things like parks, zoo, shows etc saying its a waste of money n she is too young to go for such things.
Maid levy - I pay, since maid is employed in my name.. Need to have maid as my #2 is on the way already.
Since I am also the cannot-stand-unpaid-bills kind, I figure most of the stuff is paid by me. I've no supp cards to him (phew) and he has no supp cards to me either.
I think I am very lucky, hubby converted his personal account into a joint account immediately after the wedding so I have access to all his money (I never asked him to do it, he just took me to the bank and did it). Hubby earns about double my salary. I am still keeping my own personal account where my salary gets banked into.
Since I am also the cannot-stand-unpaid-bills kind, I guess I just took over and handled all the money matters (hubby is hopeless, he never remembers to pay the bills and always get overdue fines). As I have access to all our funds, I basically just pay off all the bills and put any excess from both accounts (after keeping a healthy balance on both accounts) into a joint fixed deposit account which we can draw later to pay for big ticket items like holidays, renovation or capital repayment for housing loan.
Housing loan is paid from both our CPFs.
Hubby hates handling money matters so he leaves it up to me to do as I see fit. He does not question what I do with the money (or how much $ I spend, yipee!) as long as he can draw money from the ATM and his credit card works (yes, I pay his card bill also so I know what he spends on ;p ). He has a small idea how much money we have, but generally will check in with me whether we can afford stuff before he makes any big purchases.
I give my mother $500/mthly.
Am thinking of stopping or reducing this allowance when our baby is born - am expecting now - as our expenses will go up and my mother is financially well to do (collecting rent from several properties my dad left us)
But as mum has offered to come over daily and help supervise the maid to look after the baby, maybe I should still give her a token??
We do not give any money to my hubby's parents either as his father is financially sound and its not their tradition.
Since I am also the cannot-stand-unpaid-bills kind, I guess I just took over and handled all the money matters (hubby is hopeless, he never remembers to pay the bills and always get overdue fines). As I have access to all our funds, I basically just pay off all the bills and put any excess from both accounts (after keeping a healthy balance on both accounts) into a joint fixed deposit account which we can draw later to pay for big ticket items like holidays, renovation or capital repayment for housing loan.
Housing loan is paid from both our CPFs.
Hubby hates handling money matters so he leaves it up to me to do as I see fit. He does not question what I do with the money (or how much $ I spend, yipee!) as long as he can draw money from the ATM and his credit card works (yes, I pay his card bill also so I know what he spends on ;p ). He has a small idea how much money we have, but generally will check in with me whether we can afford stuff before he makes any big purchases.
I give my mother $500/mthly.
Am thinking of stopping or reducing this allowance when our baby is born - am expecting now - as our expenses will go up and my mother is financially well to do (collecting rent from several properties my dad left us)
But as mum has offered to come over daily and help supervise the maid to look after the baby, maybe I should still give her a token??
We do not give any money to my hubby's parents either as his father is financially sound and its not their tradition.
angeldreamz
New Member
janc1008, you are indeed very lucky!
well... if you pay his credit card bills - means he can't surprise you by buying you gifts? right? you will know it when u see the bill.. hehe... juz a thought
well... if you pay his credit card bills - means he can't surprise you by buying you gifts? right? you will know it when u see the bill.. hehe... juz a thought
momoko_bb
New Member
both of us are working
a) Utilities -me
b) Household /family necessities -me
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings -me
d) Baby's insurance, education -me
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc) -own
f) Other subscriptions (eg. Professional memberships) -nil
g) car installment -him
h)insurrance / road tax - me ( i dun get to drive )
ya , my life suckz..& i m practically paying watever in sight .
a) Utilities -me
b) Household /family necessities -me
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings -me
d) Baby's insurance, education -me
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc) -own
f) Other subscriptions (eg. Professional memberships) -nil
g) car installment -him
h)insurrance / road tax - me ( i dun get to drive )
ya , my life suckz..& i m practically paying watever in sight .
joyinthelord
New Member
Momoko,
Since both of you are working, how about suggesting to divide the expenses in proportion to your earnings? Like, if you earn equal, contribute 50% of the expenses each. For my case, I am also the same as you, (ie that my hubby pays only for the car - but I drive sometimes lah =p), but he does not have any fixed income so its a bit harder to set a percentage of expense for him to pay.
Since both of you are working, how about suggesting to divide the expenses in proportion to your earnings? Like, if you earn equal, contribute 50% of the expenses each. For my case, I am also the same as you, (ie that my hubby pays only for the car - but I drive sometimes lah =p), but he does not have any fixed income so its a bit harder to set a percentage of expense for him to pay.
Lambi
Well-Known Member
who pays for what ..
a) Utilities (electric, rent, etc.) - hb
b) Household /family necessities (groceries/furniture/doc/miscellaneous)- hb/me
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings - hb/me
d) Family insurance, education - hb
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc)- me
f) Other subscriptions - only h/p prepaid card as it's cheaper...others as in club memberships etc.. Non as we don't need it
and we agreed on 'LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS'
Marriage is a promise bond between 2 parties, have to give and take. Money wise too, can't be too rigid
a) Utilities (electric, rent, etc.) - hb
b) Household /family necessities (groceries/furniture/doc/miscellaneous)- hb/me
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings - hb/me
d) Family insurance, education - hb
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc)- me
f) Other subscriptions - only h/p prepaid card as it's cheaper...others as in club memberships etc.. Non as we don't need it
Marriage is a promise bond between 2 parties, have to give and take. Money wise too, can't be too rigid
dancelover
New Member
Hello...
I just got married this June and am expecting my 1st child now. I quit my FT job in June due to morning sickness. Right now, I am stable and have went back to my previous co as a PT staff. The salary i am getting now is almost half compared to my full time pay.
Recently, hb asked me to open a join a/c with him so that when I go back to working full time next yr once bb is born, we can each put in a sum of $ for hsehold expenses. I am alright with it as I feel as a wife I shld help hb wif some expenses oso. Right now, hb is paying for everything but I pay for my own mum's mthly allowance as he does not approved of me giving my mum. Reason being, i m only working PT.
He asked me to contribute $1K to our joint a/c mthly when I start working next yr. He will oso put in that same amount. However, I feel it is not very fair as he is earning 3X my income...to him, 1k is little n he can well afford. To me, 1K is alot, almost half of my take home salary. Minusing the fixed expenses like hp bill, gym, mum's allowance, insurance I am left with less than 1K to spend. I still need to pay for my lunch meals. Travelling no need as hb will fetch me to n fro work.
Do u all think that I shld tok to my hb abt lowering the contribution amt? I feel going by percentage is more fair, eg 10% each. But to him, my amt will b very little if I only contribute 10% and I scared he may say "so little muz well dun contribute".
How???
I just got married this June and am expecting my 1st child now. I quit my FT job in June due to morning sickness. Right now, I am stable and have went back to my previous co as a PT staff. The salary i am getting now is almost half compared to my full time pay.
Recently, hb asked me to open a join a/c with him so that when I go back to working full time next yr once bb is born, we can each put in a sum of $ for hsehold expenses. I am alright with it as I feel as a wife I shld help hb wif some expenses oso. Right now, hb is paying for everything but I pay for my own mum's mthly allowance as he does not approved of me giving my mum. Reason being, i m only working PT.
He asked me to contribute $1K to our joint a/c mthly when I start working next yr. He will oso put in that same amount. However, I feel it is not very fair as he is earning 3X my income...to him, 1k is little n he can well afford. To me, 1K is alot, almost half of my take home salary. Minusing the fixed expenses like hp bill, gym, mum's allowance, insurance I am left with less than 1K to spend. I still need to pay for my lunch meals. Travelling no need as hb will fetch me to n fro work.
Do u all think that I shld tok to my hb abt lowering the contribution amt? I feel going by percentage is more fair, eg 10% each. But to him, my amt will b very little if I only contribute 10% and I scared he may say "so little muz well dun contribute".
How???
I oso wan2 join in:-
who pays for what ..
a) Utilities (electric, water, etc.) - mil
b) Household /family necessities (groceries/furniture/doc/miscellaneous)- mil/hb/me
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings - hb/me
d) Family insurance, kids education/enrichments - hb/me
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc)- each pay his/her own
f) Other subscriptions - each pay his/her own
Parents-in-laws staying wif me & hb as they rent out their own flat. My mother keep nagging at me y shd i bother to share the expenses equally wif my hb...it shd all be beared by hb alone & he shd give me allowances oso haiz...i told my mum now its the new modern times no longer in the 60s, 70s & its not as if i am not working.
who pays for what ..
a) Utilities (electric, water, etc.) - mil
b) Household /family necessities (groceries/furniture/doc/miscellaneous)- mil/hb/me
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings - hb/me
d) Family insurance, kids education/enrichments - hb/me
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc)- each pay his/her own
f) Other subscriptions - each pay his/her own
Parents-in-laws staying wif me & hb as they rent out their own flat. My mother keep nagging at me y shd i bother to share the expenses equally wif my hb...it shd all be beared by hb alone & he shd give me allowances oso haiz...i told my mum now its the new modern times no longer in the 60s, 70s & its not as if i am not working.
Interesting thread-who pays for wat
a) utilities (hubby)
b) household necessities (me)
c) Outings/dinners with frens (hubby)
d) shopping/hobbies (individual)
e) insurance (individual)
f) cpf payment for hdb (100% me cuz hubby no cpf)
g)holiday-(split)
g) maid n baby supplies (me)
h) car installments, road tax etc (hubby)
plus hubby gives me around 1k to save up monthly
a) utilities (hubby)
b) household necessities (me)
c) Outings/dinners with frens (hubby)
d) shopping/hobbies (individual)
e) insurance (individual)
f) cpf payment for hdb (100% me cuz hubby no cpf)
g)holiday-(split)
g) maid n baby supplies (me)
h) car installments, road tax etc (hubby)
plus hubby gives me around 1k to save up monthly
heeheesan
Member
For me...
a) utilities (me)
b) household necessities (hubby)
c) Outings/dinners with frens (depends)
d) shopping/hobbies (individual)
e) insurance (individual)
f) cpf payment for hdb (spilt)
g)holiday-(split)
g) maid n baby supplies (hubby for maid/baby supplies me)
h) car installments, road tax etc (hubby)
a) utilities (me)
b) household necessities (hubby)
c) Outings/dinners with frens (depends)
d) shopping/hobbies (individual)
e) insurance (individual)
f) cpf payment for hdb (spilt)
g)holiday-(split)
g) maid n baby supplies (hubby for maid/baby supplies me)
h) car installments, road tax etc (hubby)
Interesting thread!
For us, we don't split expenses 'cos he leaves most of his money in the joint account. I'm usually the one bringing more cash partially for the kid to know that he cannot pester daddy to buy expensive toys. We also decide on many purchases together so all expenses are paid from the common pool.
For us, we don't split expenses 'cos he leaves most of his money in the joint account. I'm usually the one bringing more cash partially for the kid to know that he cannot pester daddy to buy expensive toys. We also decide on many purchases together so all expenses are paid from the common pool.
scatterbrain
Member
For me, as I'm earning a bit more than my hubby we actually had a joint account to pay off those utilities and kid's school fees etc. And just because I'm earning a bit more, my hubby always ask me to pay when we dine out. Haiz, my terrible MIL even suggest me to become SAHM but I never tell her that hubby always relying on me for most of the expeditures. Of coz I wanted to stay at home to teach my kids etc but with such high living standards in singapore, how to? Haiz haiz....
Joint acc pay eveything. For fancy meals outside, who got credit card discount, who pay. Else he will pay b'cos he actually enjoys that he pays for the meals (brings the bacon home mentality). Luxury gds on dutch. We earn about the same mthly, annual i got a bit more. We have a policy not to bother each other about how much we give parents b'cos its a personal thing.
Parent's birthday, we will buy individual gifts/$/meals for each other's parents. Like that can garner more good will for the future. Feels better that your SIL/DIL pamper you.
Parent's birthday, we will buy individual gifts/$/meals for each other's parents. Like that can garner more good will for the future. Feels better that your SIL/DIL pamper you.
man_in_the_house
New Member
it is so difficult to say who pays what. in the end, there might be a lot of unspoken unhappiness that gets build up. for me and my wife, we just have a joint account that pays for everything. This works out quite well for us.
I'm a FTWM
a) utilities -whoever is going to the AXS
b) household necessities (see who's the one buying
c) Outings/dinners with frens (depends)
d) shopping/hobbies (individual)
e) insurance (individual)
f) cpf payment for hdb (spilt)
g)holiday-(split)
g) maid n baby supplies (depends on who's buying)
h) car installments, road tax etc (joint account)
sigh i think i'm the one paying for most of the necessities for the house, maid and baby since i like shopping.. heheh but its ok lah.. still managable now.
a) utilities -whoever is going to the AXS
b) household necessities (see who's the one buying
c) Outings/dinners with frens (depends)
d) shopping/hobbies (individual)
e) insurance (individual)
f) cpf payment for hdb (spilt)
g)holiday-(split)
g) maid n baby supplies (depends on who's buying)
h) car installments, road tax etc (joint account)
sigh i think i'm the one paying for most of the necessities for the house, maid and baby since i like shopping.. heheh but its ok lah.. still managable now.
Before I read this link, I was under the impression that men are paying for most of the household expenses. I am appalled this is not the case for many here. Are we Singaporean women too chin chye and caused the husbands to take it for granted that we should share the expenses but they still live in the imaginary world that man is head of household so we must put them in 1st place? Their needs come before ours!
