Help! Feel v frustrated, want to stray <IMG SRC="http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipa

[jolin78]

Hubby keeps saying I'm fat after giving birth, he's not attracted to me anymore. But I'm already back to my pre-pregnancy weight, 51kg for 1.6m tall girl is not fat lor

I'm very sad that I got male colleagues &amp; clients at work find me sexy but my own hubby dun find me sexy. Our sex life so pathetic, when he gets horny once in a blue moon, he will ask me to blow him (which I dun mind). Then as an afterthought, he will ask me do I want sex (yes of course I want, something is better than nothing for me!) During sex, his eyes are closed never look at me or kiss me. He takes longer than last time to come, I feel v sad like he really not turned on by me. Please help with some kind words or advice...I am so tempted to just grab a willing guy who can love my body properly, but I dun really want to stray &amp; ruin my marriage. I am already dieting to lose more weight. Not much time to exercise with mummy duties but I try...I hate him being so superficial, think I should have married someone who loves me more but haiz...too late too late.

 

[princessleopard]

Jolin,

Have you sit down and talk to your hubby about this? You need to know how actually he think rather than guessing. Its very torturing. Your height and weight is ideal now. No need to diet anymore.

Perhaps can try to spice up your sex life? Wear some sexy lingerine or sex toys etc?

 

[j55]

Hi Jolin,

Yes, agree with princessleopard. U don't have to diet, yr weight is fine.
Perhaps a change in yr outlook or lifestyle? Try a new hairstyle, new dress sense etc. Find some time and go out with your friends. Sometimes when u change and become more independent, the husband will pay more attention to you.
But whatever it is, never ever stray...
If u are not happy with a marriage, work on it, or nothin else can solve the problem, leave the marriage. No excuse to stray.

Good luck babe

 

[joy_ful]

Hi Jolin,

I agree with J55. A change in your outlook or lifestyle may do the trick. My hubby and me never see eye to eye. After pregnancy, I was so preoccupied with baby, career and housechorese and ...., I start neglecting my hubby.

When I talk to my hubby, we end up arguing and quarrelling. It was till I started doing a business and sought his advice(not completely). He found me a changed person for the better(more positive, humble and less opinionated). Our relationship takes a turn for the better. Of course, the positive outlook and confidence plays a vital part. The small acknowledgement of each other's effort plays another vital role.

Ask yourself if you have been too compromising till your hubby might take you for granted. Do romantic things like writing secret notes to him about telling him that you love him very much. Invite him for a romantic dinner while someone else babysit for you. All these gestures are part and puzzle of maintaining a healthy relationship

 

[joy_ful]

When it comes to slimming, it was for a better health, not so much for my hubby. I want a stronger and slimmer body to keep up with all the challenges as a mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law and etc.

I did slim down for the above reasons. I am glad I did coz it does boost a more confident self. Who doesn't like to be a beautiful and successful mummy? LOL