Feel violated by Gyne...

Discussion in 'Year 2009 Mums' started by upset_need_advice, Jan 13, 2009.

  1. upset_need_advice

    upset_need_advice New Member

    would like to ask forum regulars here about an experience that is giving me nightmares. Went to GlenE saw male gyne for 1st antenatal visit. After he checked pelvic area, he suddenly gave "breast exam" by pulling up my blouse and bra and touch all over. While the nurse was there, I still found it shocking. I was quite stunned, no reaction time and din know what to do. He asked if breasts were tender, but if that was intention, then he can just ask right? I know its tender without having a 'personal' exam by the gyne. Why have to pull up blouse and touch? Feelin upset now...just wanted to see if this is common 'exam' or whether he crossed the line. If so, any advice on wat action I can take against him?

    thanx!
     
  2. chloegal

    chloegal Member

    What my gynae usually do is that he will tell me that he is going to examin my breast and ask the assistant to help me unbutton my bra. This examination is usually done during pap smear and i think is a routine check together with pap smear. But for my 3 pregnancy, my gynae never done any breast check for all 3 trimister.
     
  3. suiching

    suiching Member

    yeah so far for my pregnancy, my gynae has also never touch my breast...dun think there is any relation to gynae checkup
     
  4. idaarshad

    idaarshad Active Member

    definitely not one of the examinations i think for all my 4 pregancies.. pls do someting..
     
  5. babyethan

    babyethan New Member

    during my first antenatal visit for both my pregnancies, my gynae did do a breast examination. It's his usual practice. But he does tell me beforehand when he's about to check.
     
  6. mashybrainz

    mashybrainz New Member

    I've a female gynae. For my first visit for my first preg, she did a breast examination. Guess it's a lady,so didn't feel a thing even when she pulled up my blouse to examine.

    If you're so uncomfortable with a male gynae, then you should have chosen a female one. U need to trust your gynae. If u keep thinking your gynae is molesting u, better u change and go to a female one. It could really be a routine thing for him, so he didn't think to ask. Those who choose to go to male gynaes are those who are comfortable letting them see and touch their pte parts. If you're not, stick with a female gynae like me.
     
  7. misspiggy

    misspiggy Member

    I think your gynae do not have good bedside manners. My male gynae will tell me before he's going to check anything... And he didn't do any breast check for both my pregnancies.
     
  8. ethan_mum

    ethan_mum New Member

    i aslo nvr experience it b4 during my last pregnancy, the male gynae just told me my breast will be more tender along the way till giving birth...

    maybe u can disclose the gynae name, ask around anyone taken hem b4? just an idea la...
     
  9. teojamieteo

    teojamieteo New Member

    i have also not experience this issue leh. My male gynae only tell me breast would be more tender. Please change to another gynae if this one is making u feel uncomfortable. maybe go for a more reputable one.
     
  10. odie

    odie New Member

    Looks like it differs from gynae to gynae. In my case my gynae (male) did conduct breasts check on my first visit for both pregnancies. I believe it is not to check if your breasts are tender or not but to check for lumps.

    The only difference comparing my experience to yours is that the nurse will tell me to loosen my bra and pre-empt me that the doctor will check the breasts later.

    I honestly think your doctor just has very bad bedside manners.
     
  11. nana_moby

    nana_moby New Member

    my gynae did not check my breast for both my pregnancy.
    he did inform me that breast will be tender etc.
    Even when he does the V scan on me, he will tell me way in advance eg the moment i step into his office and he look thru my record. then inform me again when he is abt to conduct the scan n apologises for having to do it.

    change ur gynae if u r not comfortable
     
  12. upset_need_advice

    upset_need_advice New Member

    yeah very sway, kena this kind of gyne on first antenal visit. Have asked some other friends since and none of them have had such breast exams to "check for tenderness" during first antenal visit.

    I have gone to other male gynaes before becoming preggy, all were professional and above-board, never expected this kind of behaviour & was really not on guard against this specific gynae.

    Had gone to this gynae once hubby & I found I was preggy from home test becos we wanted the best for our baby, and this gynae is a well known one, on the 2nd floor of GlenE (main entrance level).

    Will NOT be gg to this horrifying gynae anymore, will go back to former gynae(male also) who never has such problems .

    The last thing a preggy MTB wants is to have this kind of unncessary stress and harassment during important 1st trimester. As my friend said, this kind of gynae always featured in media may not be the best, they spent more time marketing themselves than doing their best for the patients. Shame on him, taking advantage of a preggy MTB is the lowest of the low.
     
  13. piggym

    piggym New Member

    hi ladies,

    normally breast examination is done together with pap smear. The gynae himself or herself will be conducting the examination or is it their clinc assistant?
     
  14. prickyone

    prickyone Member

    first time i went to gyne, he checked my breasts too. of course after informing me. i think it is to check for lumps.
     
  15. zolldoll

    zolldoll Member

    I went to my gynae for both child and had never had this experience before. Even if he need to, i personally feel it is better to inform you beforehand so you are aware and more prepared.
     
  16. mickeymummy

    mickeymummy New Member

    My gynae also checked my breast the first time.. I think urs din inform u in adv..
     
  17. excitied

    excitied Member

    mi too never experience this before... hmm when i did the pap smear with him he oso din check my breasts too... is it a norm to check breasts together wif pap smear???
     
  18. yasmin

    yasmin Member

    mine was a female gynae and she didn't check my breast. But I think that he didn't have the intention to molest you as there was a nurse inside. Just like what mashy said, pls find yourself a femaly gynae. If I saw a male gynae I would react the same way as you as I'm not comfortable with him seeing my private parts. There are some really good female gynaes out there. you can enquire in the forum also.
     
  19. yasmin

    yasmin Member

    anyway u mentioned Gleneagles? I know Brenda Low from there is really good and friendly. A few of the ladies I know have been attended by her.
     
  20. yookyan

    yookyan New Member

    usu there is a nurse present also with doc if its male gynae i think right?
     
  21. hymijules

    hymijules New Member

    Babe, you just got violated. Get a lawyer...QUICKLY!!
     
  22. dorisq

    dorisq New Member

    I dont think he molested you. For me, when i went to my gynae for the 1st time, She too have my breast check. Maybe he is in the wrong for not informing you before checking on you.
     
  23. Mummykian

    Mummykian Member

    Hi <font color="0000ff">Mummies</font>, i think to be fair to the gynae, its a common practice for them to check the breast during our first visit for pregnancy(cos my gynae did the same for 2nd pregnancy too). But i think its not very nice of him to not inform u of what he is goin to do.
    There is no way u can sue him of molesting as he has a female staff nurse presence. So i think if ure not comfortable with him, just change to a new gynae.[​IMG]
     
  24. june2006

    june2006 New Member

    Your gynae was just very very VERY insensitive. =( *angry* My 2nd gynae for my current pregnancy did check my breast.
    Hope you'll change your gynae. Can't imagine how terrible he'll be if he's already so insensitive. =(
    Dr Sim from Thomson is very good.
     
  25. upset_need_advice

    upset_need_advice New Member

    Ladies, thanks to all for your advice and comments.

    From all I've heard so far, a male gynae personally &amp; abruptly pushing up the patient's blouse and bra to supposedly verify "if the breast feel tender", not asking if the patient is comfortable with this behaviour, is obviously not routine or really necessary part of checkup. There were other rude things he did but I won't go into them. Seriously v suay to get this kind of gynae, definitely NOT going back to this creep EVER. There are many good gynaes around, thanks for the recommendations too. I hope that other mummies won't find themselves in the same shoes with lousy creep like this.
     
  26. pingping

    pingping Active Member

    Hi upset_need_advice,

    I feel the gynae has committed outrage of modesty. It's good to change yr gynae cos I don't feel he is being professional. My male gynae has never checked my breast for my 2 pregnancies, and I don't see the need for it anyway. What can they do after checking?

    I feel you shld report it to the medical association to alert them abt this gynae, if to the police, not sure what can they do? Otherwise, there'll be more victims, thinking it's the normal procedure unless they are smart like you to think that it's not all right.
     
  27. babyunn

    babyunn New Member

    If the first visit to gynae is normal to check we girls' breast, and the gynae just pull up your shirt and touch and then say that he's checking whether your breast is alright?

    Will this be worst?

    Anyway upset_need_advice, you're still lucky you have a choice.
    For my case, even if im unhappy, i will still have to endure with that damn gynae all the way.
    As its' my hb side family gynae, throughout their family and friends alot being delivered by him, and my PIL and even hb all want me to see him, even though i feel so uncomfortable i also cant say a single thing anymore.

    Im even more distraught then you i guess, and im already going to the end of my 2nd trimester now already, its also hard for me to change gynae anyway.

    Just a comment, and im new here, hope i didnt offend anyone. :)
     
  28. barney7489

    barney7489 New Member

    I think it is a routine check. My friend developed breast cancer during pregnancy.When conceived she was not detacted. When she was 3rd trimester, found out that she has 3rd stage breast cancer. If we dont do regular self check on breast we really cannot see the difference but a dr can.

    So I guess he does not have any evil intention. If you are uncomfortable, u can change to female gynea. Mine is a female one. She also check my breast. I am not comfortable with male hence I opt for female.
     
  29. barney7489

    barney7489 New Member

    sometimes as dr they probably forgot to inform the patient before they "undress" their patient for physical examination. you need to inform them that u are uncomfortable when they dont inform u first. maybe next time they will be careful....
     
  30. rapple01

    rapple01 Member

    there was no breast exam for me thru'out my preg. my gynae dint even mentioned anytin abt breast being tender or not.
    IMO, its common courtesy to inform patients of what they r gonna do before carrying it out. Patients have the right to say no.
     
  31. prisneo

    prisneo New Member

    upset, the gynae do check my breast for both my pregnancies, my first pregnancy is in Singapore and the present one in Oz. It is a routine, the only difference is that they do inform me before the check.

    Even for pap smear, it is a routine to check the breast too.
     
  32. tweettweet

    tweettweet New Member

    hi upset,

    Could you email me the info of this gynae at swillshine@hotmail.com as I think I am using him too.

    Thanks.
     
  33. barney7489

    barney7489 New Member

  34. mandy99

    mandy99 Member

    can anyone pm me on this gynae's name?
     
  35. sumire

    sumire New Member

    Is your husband around when it happened?

    For me, the first time i went to this male gynae, he asked me to pull down my skirt and then lift up my shirt (ofcourse not showing panty,bra). Then the 2nd time, he asked me to pull UP my skirt (means can see panty) and i was SO SHOCKED. My hubby was there and he never said a single word. =_= Made me a bit mad about it that he never said anything to the gynae. lol I tried to lift the shirt up and skirt down (like first time) but kenna scolded by that gynae.

    Anyway, thats the last time I visit him. I am going to start visiting Dr joycelyn wong next month.
     
  36. bridewannabe

    bridewannabe New Member

    I personally feel that if you are seeing a male gynae, you should be prepared of such things happened. If you are not uncomfortable with a male gynae, then see a female one.
    Dr WK Tan from TMC is a good female gynae.
     
  37. galili

    galili New Member

    Hi upset &amp; Shine,

    Could you let me know the name of the gynae also?

    I can't remember whether he told me he's going to do the breast examination but the process seemed similar!

    Let me know and I might change gynae as well. Thanks.
     
  38. siangjiao

    siangjiao Member

    umm ....even my female gynae informed and explained before she examined my boobs during the pap smear test
     
  39. upset_need_advice

    upset_need_advice New Member

    yeah, totally caught off-guard, thinking back there's something quite wrong (I wonder if pre-meditated?) with this gynae springing a surprise by announcing &amp; promptly executing the so-called check for "tender" breasts, whilst I was in vulnerable position, lying exposed on the examination bed, after the pelvic v ultra-sound, yet to even put the under-pants back on! No pre-warning at all!

    Had a really bad feeling about this gynae’s behaviour, as confirmed by so many comments on the forum and from my friends. Maybe this creep has got away with doing this so many times that he continues disrespectful and humiliating behaviour. Worse, what if it triggers pre/post natal depression in MTBs if they feel continually distraught and harassed, that would be really terrible!

    Frankly, it cannot be acceptable to expect such things to happen just becos we see a male gynae. If so, how would anyone ever want to see a male gynae! I have seen excellent male gynaes from TMC, they were perfect gentlemen, respectful and professional, never had such perverse behaviour. And never expected that from this horrid GlenE gynae.

    Melissa babyunn- not sure if you’re seeing the same creep but pl don’t let him get you down. There are many good gynaes around, and people do change gynaes at the late stage. Pl protect yourself and your baby. If your family pressures are really so great that you can’t change, just stand your ground with this gyane if you feel uncomfortable at any point (you can get checked separately by a female gynae if necc., for pap-smear/lumps after delivery. as for breast tenderness, there's no need for him to chk that!). Pl take care of yourself! Focus on baby and all your wonderful blessings.
     
  40. fion

    fion Active Member

    mine did not check my breasts thruout my pregnancy..
     
  41. graysgerald79

    graysgerald79 Member

    can anyone pm me on this gynae's name?


    Thanks
     
  42. graysgerald79

    graysgerald79 Member

    can anyone pm me on this gynae's name?


    Thanks
     
  43. toblerone

    toblerone Active Member

    Now, seeing all these. Making me worried.

    My wife just went for a recent (first) check-up. It was a male gynae. Nothing happens like touch here and there.

    Now, I damn scared after reading.

    Anybody got recommendation (female gynae)(specialist, consultant or senior consultant doesn't matter) in KKH?
     
  44. runawaypig

    runawaypig New Member

    Hi, you can try Dr JJ Chee from KKH, she's quite good...
     
  45. toblerone

    toblerone Active Member

    runawaypig, thank you for reply!

    I have been waiting people to give me recommedation.

    Dr. Chee is in 'Maternal Fetal Medicine', she do check-up for pregnant women right?
     
  46. toblerone

    toblerone Active Member

    That Dr. Chee damn busy!

    My wife wants to see her, then nurse said she only see outside patients. What the h***!

    Any female gynae to recommend?
     
  47. upset_need_advice

    upset_need_advice New Member

    Jolyon
    there are many good male gynaes also, I have seen several and NEVER had a problem. Only this one gynae at GlenE really horrendous creepy cheekopeh (C.C) - you can check out http://sggynae.blogspot.com to see which one the C.C is, under top 10 most commented gyane list.

    Apparently, several other ladies have had very bad experiences with this GlenE gyane, as somebody say on the blogspot no smoke without fire.

    If you prefer female gynaes, Caroline Khi, Yvonne Chan from TMC, KT Tan (KKH) all quite good. Hope you &amp; your wife find a gd gynae that you are comfortable with.

    Melissa Babyunn, Lilli gal - saw from you posts above that you also had distressful experiences with this gyne. Tried to get in touch with you but your pm option was not on, could you pm me instead; wanted to catch up to offer mutual support, how you are doing, hope everything's going well.
     
  48. toblerone

    toblerone Active Member

    (upset_need_advice) , "as somebody say on the blogspot no smoke without fire" I like this Chinese proverb.
     
  49. toblerone

    toblerone Active Member

    My wife is seeing this Dr. June Tan (from KK) right now.

    I wonder, any feedback about this gynae?
     
  50. ptsy27

    ptsy27 Member

    Hi Jolyon,
    regarding Dr June Tan - she's suppose to come see me when Dr Adrian refer me to her as i'm having twins (and contractions that day). She nv came and end up another dr who's on duty delivered for me. I still haven met her till the day i was discharged.

    during my stay (starting fr admitting to kkh), me n my hubby kept asking for dr June Tan bu she nv came. The nurses just brushed us off by saying if its not emergency she wont come. We were like "huh?? wth".
     
  51. toblerone

    toblerone Active Member

    ptsy27, after reading yours, my blood a little boil up.

    So, ptsy27, was Dr. June Tan, your private nanny before you gave birth?
     
  52. ptsy27

    ptsy27 Member

    what do u mean??
     
  53. toblerone

    toblerone Active Member

    I mean, was Dr. June Tan your private doctor when you gave delivery at that time?

    If Adrain suddenly assign you to see June Tan, then she is not willing to see you.

    All doctors are "chau-kuan". They want to see brand new patients and not from other doctor's referral. Also, doctors do not like patients to do sudden switching of doctors.
     
  54. ptsy27

    ptsy27 Member

    she nv even read the letter dr a wrote to her. i dont even know which dr deliver for me. they juz put me on drip n next thing i know i'm going for e-c-sec. my whole birthing experience was blur.
     
  55. toblerone

    toblerone Active Member

    ptsy27, thank you ptsy!

    Now, I more or less know, what's going on.

    My wife will be seeing her again this month on the 8th. I will be careful with her.
     
  56. ptsy27

    ptsy27 Member

    you might wan to consider dr benjamin tham fr TPS @ kkh. he's the HOD of the dept. Very gd!
     
  57. toblerone

    toblerone Active Member

    ptsy27, I have heard about Benjamin Tham.

    He is fully booked. Don't think can squeeze him out.

    Moreover, if my-wife switch doctor, there will be another set of high charge. Meanwhile, I just stay with June Tan.

    So far so good, I have no problem with Dr. June Tan.
     
  58. bevinn

    bevinn New Member

    NEXT TIME SEE A FEMALE DOCTOR
     

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