Christian ivf mums or mums to be
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bellsbells
Member
Hi all,
I am also having dilemma about my ivf also. I wish I could have the guts to call for a disposal of all my balance embryos and call it a day.
First one was conceived naturally 6 years ago but miscarriage at 22weeks.
2nd one was ectopic pregnancy conceived naturally.
Third one was my first ivf bb which had to be terminated at 21weeks. In 2009 may
Forth one I have just miscarried on last 26th oct at 2 mths due to bb no heartbeat and I had servere bleeding and was admitted for evacuation.
Till now I still have very bad nightmares I slept in separate room with my hubby cause I am scared my cry will wake him up. Tried leaving the lights on till morning and even when I fall asleep I just cannot forget the amount of blood that came out of me. My Hubby wasn't at home and I had to on call a cab and praying hard that I could at least get in the cab instead of bleeding all the way down. I had splashed my room floor with blood stains even with mense pad on. Just after changing once I stand up, all the blood was on the floor. I was really scared and didn't want to alarm my parents cause they would not be able to help but make me more panic. I wet the taxi sit and my taxi driver requested for a wheelchair on arrival and once I sat on the wheelchair blood starts to overflow from the wheelchair. They tried to put me on the bed and I wet the bed with blood even with a protector. They used pampers and within a short span of less half an hour I was on my third or fourth pampers. my hubby arrived and arranged all admission docs. Dnc was done. Now resting at home but I still could not get over the loads of blood that came out of me and I just have nightmares. I tried not to sleep or leave my lights on but still it's not quite helping. Dare not cry in front of my hubby cause i don't want him to worry...
Sometimes I just can't help but ask God why. I prayed 'not my will but yours be done' yet how can I question him. I was thinking of disposing my balance 18 embryos with 2 blastocyst left. Than at least this door will close and I can work out any possibilities of adoption. But than again I just felt I couldn't hear God. God seems so far away... I know I should felt that way but ....
I am also having dilemma about my ivf also. I wish I could have the guts to call for a disposal of all my balance embryos and call it a day.
First one was conceived naturally 6 years ago but miscarriage at 22weeks.
2nd one was ectopic pregnancy conceived naturally.
Third one was my first ivf bb which had to be terminated at 21weeks. In 2009 may
Forth one I have just miscarried on last 26th oct at 2 mths due to bb no heartbeat and I had servere bleeding and was admitted for evacuation.
Till now I still have very bad nightmares I slept in separate room with my hubby cause I am scared my cry will wake him up. Tried leaving the lights on till morning and even when I fall asleep I just cannot forget the amount of blood that came out of me. My Hubby wasn't at home and I had to on call a cab and praying hard that I could at least get in the cab instead of bleeding all the way down. I had splashed my room floor with blood stains even with mense pad on. Just after changing once I stand up, all the blood was on the floor. I was really scared and didn't want to alarm my parents cause they would not be able to help but make me more panic. I wet the taxi sit and my taxi driver requested for a wheelchair on arrival and once I sat on the wheelchair blood starts to overflow from the wheelchair. They tried to put me on the bed and I wet the bed with blood even with a protector. They used pampers and within a short span of less half an hour I was on my third or fourth pampers. my hubby arrived and arranged all admission docs. Dnc was done. Now resting at home but I still could not get over the loads of blood that came out of me and I just have nightmares. I tried not to sleep or leave my lights on but still it's not quite helping. Dare not cry in front of my hubby cause i don't want him to worry...
Sometimes I just can't help but ask God why. I prayed 'not my will but yours be done' yet how can I question him. I was thinking of disposing my balance 18 embryos with 2 blastocyst left. Than at least this door will close and I can work out any possibilities of adoption. But than again I just felt I couldn't hear God. God seems so far away... I know I should felt that way but ....
bellsbells, my heart goes out to you as I read your post. I went through 2 miscarriages. The 1st one when I stood up from bed after the d&c, blood just gushed down, that was when evacuation was done already. It was so much that it stained the carpet of the ward. I went into the toilet and got changed despite of this but when I got out, I quickly called my dh to come forward as I could feel myself blacking out. My 2nd d&c, I waited for 2 weeks after dr confmd no heartbeat. Dr wanted to perform the d&c immediately actually but I wanted to wait. Unlike you, I did not bleed despite waiting. Did not even spot. Finally I did my d&c on the 31 Dec 2009. I was lying there waiting for dr in the OT, crying when everyone else around was wishing one another Happy New Year.
When I was going through my 1st pregnancy, there was a lot of fear in me. I couldn't sleep at night cos I feared for the well being of my little one. Dr had advised that baby was small and heartbeat was weak. While waiting for 2 weeks before the next scan, I couldn't sleep and even if I did, I would wake up with a pounding heart, full of fear. My good friend would send me prayers via SMS. I would pray together with her as I am a very new Christian. It helped in alleviating the fear in me. God granted me peace in my heart. And never once did I experience this fear again, even when I was going through my 2nd pregnancy.
For your case, may I advise that you do not think about whether what you should do with the balance of your embryos right now. Please take care of yourself. Nourish your body. I think you need to feel physically and mentally ok before you think about what to do next. In the meantime, pray and meditate on His words. You will hear Him. God is not far away. He is with us all the time.
I attended many Bible study sessions with my church at that time. It helped me go through that very difficult part of my life. It was something I had to face alone. With God. Yes, even dh will not understand.
Compared to the many sisters here, I am really a greenhorn. What I know, I learn from them here and attend sermons. During the most recent Nerida Walker's talk, she reminded me of Jesus Christ's last words on the cross. "It is finished." What needs to be paid, He already paid for it on our behalf, on the cross. He carried our burdens.
Just my 2 cents' worth. I sincerely hope that you will get back on your feet soon. Will keep you in my prayers.
Jia you!
When I was going through my 1st pregnancy, there was a lot of fear in me. I couldn't sleep at night cos I feared for the well being of my little one. Dr had advised that baby was small and heartbeat was weak. While waiting for 2 weeks before the next scan, I couldn't sleep and even if I did, I would wake up with a pounding heart, full of fear. My good friend would send me prayers via SMS. I would pray together with her as I am a very new Christian. It helped in alleviating the fear in me. God granted me peace in my heart. And never once did I experience this fear again, even when I was going through my 2nd pregnancy.
For your case, may I advise that you do not think about whether what you should do with the balance of your embryos right now. Please take care of yourself. Nourish your body. I think you need to feel physically and mentally ok before you think about what to do next. In the meantime, pray and meditate on His words. You will hear Him. God is not far away. He is with us all the time.
I attended many Bible study sessions with my church at that time. It helped me go through that very difficult part of my life. It was something I had to face alone. With God. Yes, even dh will not understand.
Compared to the many sisters here, I am really a greenhorn. What I know, I learn from them here and attend sermons. During the most recent Nerida Walker's talk, she reminded me of Jesus Christ's last words on the cross. "It is finished." What needs to be paid, He already paid for it on our behalf, on the cross. He carried our burdens.
Just my 2 cents' worth. I sincerely hope that you will get back on your feet soon. Will keep you in my prayers.
Jia you!
godknowsbest
New Member
bells bells and Yve thanks for sharing.. it must been so painful to go through all these memories! I pray that there will be a breakthrough for those who are trying in the new year!
bellsbells, i can feel your pain as I also just went through DnC in mid Oct. My hubby was also very sad but he exhibited it in different ways.
It is alright to cry and maybe you should share your feelings with your hubby. Remember, in a marriage you are each other's support going through valleys of darkness and climbing mountains. God has a plan for the both of you.
I have cried and asked God 'why', and it is never easy on this journey. As Yve wrote
"It is finished." What needs to be paid, He already paid for it on our behalf, on the cross. He carried our burdens.
It is alright to cry and maybe you should share your feelings with your hubby. Remember, in a marriage you are each other's support going through valleys of darkness and climbing mountains. God has a plan for the both of you.
I have cried and asked God 'why', and it is never easy on this journey. As Yve wrote
"It is finished." What needs to be paid, He already paid for it on our behalf, on the cross. He carried our burdens.
blackberry
New Member
bellsbells
my heart aches for you as I read your post. i can feel your weariness and struggles. God will not reject your cries of 'whys' and neither will He overlook your hurts and yearnings. it is good to pour out your heart to him and to bring closure to the pains and disappointments. only in Him, can we find the healing and courage to journey on.
in my ttc journey, i have had my share of failures and 1 mc. i let myself dwell on the pain, buy flowers and bid my baby farewell and try my best to move on. God has made it possible and it also takes daily intentional choices to dwell on whatever is lovely, whatever is right, whatever is pure... (Phil 4:8) and focus on other causes. i try my best not to let the desire to consume me either so as to keep my sanity. being with other sisters on ttc journey also sustains me.
take time to heal - to dwell in God's presence in walks, worship and in His word. you are precious to Him and He knows your every tear (Ps 58). slowly and surely, God will make you an Overcomer in His own special way.
hugs... feel free to PM if you need to talk, hang out, etc.
my heart aches for you as I read your post. i can feel your weariness and struggles. God will not reject your cries of 'whys' and neither will He overlook your hurts and yearnings. it is good to pour out your heart to him and to bring closure to the pains and disappointments. only in Him, can we find the healing and courage to journey on.
in my ttc journey, i have had my share of failures and 1 mc. i let myself dwell on the pain, buy flowers and bid my baby farewell and try my best to move on. God has made it possible and it also takes daily intentional choices to dwell on whatever is lovely, whatever is right, whatever is pure... (Phil 4:8) and focus on other causes. i try my best not to let the desire to consume me either so as to keep my sanity. being with other sisters on ttc journey also sustains me.
take time to heal - to dwell in God's presence in walks, worship and in His word. you are precious to Him and He knows your every tear (Ps 58). slowly and surely, God will make you an Overcomer in His own special way.
hugs... feel free to PM if you need to talk, hang out, etc.
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi sisters,
hugs to Joie and Bells... no amount of words can express the sadness over the loss of a child. Hugs and take time to recover and discover His will in this.
bells, my advice to u is not to do anything yet regarding the remaining of ur embryos. like what Yve say - u are to recover first..
in my case, i was like u - i wanted to get rid of my remaining embryos -- my 11 frozen babies in some cold room somewhere after what happ to my first child. i told Dr F i want to destroy them, i dont want another child.. i cant handle another child with complications. Dr F told me not to be so hasty - continue the freeze, give urself some flexibility.
i thot then God was punishing me - punishing me for going against His will. it took me along time to know all is God's will and He is a kind and gracious Father.
take time to heal and cry if u need as it is nature's way of us pouring our grief.
rem in all this sadness and grief and times when we think we cannot go on... we will and we can with God's grace and strength. One day we will look back stronger and more faithful and we will know God is and always has been with us.
hugs to Joie and Bells... no amount of words can express the sadness over the loss of a child. Hugs and take time to recover and discover His will in this.
bells, my advice to u is not to do anything yet regarding the remaining of ur embryos. like what Yve say - u are to recover first..
in my case, i was like u - i wanted to get rid of my remaining embryos -- my 11 frozen babies in some cold room somewhere after what happ to my first child. i told Dr F i want to destroy them, i dont want another child.. i cant handle another child with complications. Dr F told me not to be so hasty - continue the freeze, give urself some flexibility.
i thot then God was punishing me - punishing me for going against His will. it took me along time to know all is God's will and He is a kind and gracious Father.
take time to heal and cry if u need as it is nature's way of us pouring our grief.
rem in all this sadness and grief and times when we think we cannot go on... we will and we can with God's grace and strength. One day we will look back stronger and more faithful and we will know God is and always has been with us.
sunflower09
Active Member
Hugs Joie and Bells, am sure no amount of words can explain your pain! Take good care, most important now is nourish your health back first.
Bells, i also think all else can think slowly and decide later. During this time, just indulge in God, throw him your tears, your anguish, your hurts ... He will help you heal and He will help you make the wise decision regarding your embryos.
Bells, i also think all else can think slowly and decide later. During this time, just indulge in God, throw him your tears, your anguish, your hurts ... He will help you heal and He will help you make the wise decision regarding your embryos.
Hi all. chanced upon this forum and this thread today and it has really ministered to me reading ur posts(unable to read all but some).
I also have been trying to conceive naturally for a few years now and up till now no results, only months of disappointments. I struggled with the decision of doing IVF as I thought it was "man-made" n not God made. I thought if thru the natural process I can't conceive, that could mean it wasn't the right time and it's God's will..... Personally I also felt like I was a failure, as a woman and not even able to conceive, especially when my hubby n I are normal!
It was only this year when I started to take action and seek IVF treatment. Went to KKH then the gynae discover that I had polyps... and it was discovered by my previous gynae of a pte hospital. "That explains why!" I thought and quickly got it removed. After that, my gynae suggested doing IVF right away but I still want to try naturally, esp when the problem had been removed... but Mar to Oct again filled w disappointments. Then during my last appmt, I was told tt my gynae will be leaving the hospital next year & that I can do the IVF in Nov... I was shocked by the news. I have to decide there and then if I want to do it or not...so I agreed....But I spend the rest of the 3 weeks going on a emo roller coaster cos I kept telling myself that I may not need IVF after all before the decision was made.
My cell prayed with me, prayed for me, I actually broke down and cried, cos I felt the sense of failure...then finally coming to terms with it, accepting it that I have to go thru this path....
1 Nov, which is today, when we went to the hospital for the briefing, we were told of the bad news that KKH could not accept anymore new cases for this year as they r very shorthanded now due to the leaving of this doc and some of the team.....
Man! Another round of "WHY???!!!!" was ringing round my head...Now I can't start the treatment until next Feb...Another round of disappointment and letdown...... Why God, why?
I cried. I sobbed, I teared.... Was it to punish me for taking things into my own hands? I dunno.... I can only cast my burdens onto Him...
Only God knows best, for me and my husband. Oh well, from now till Jan, we will just relax and enjoy each other's company....
Thank you for all your posts (was reading thru while sobbing away) and Thank God for you all....God Bless....
I also have been trying to conceive naturally for a few years now and up till now no results, only months of disappointments. I struggled with the decision of doing IVF as I thought it was "man-made" n not God made. I thought if thru the natural process I can't conceive, that could mean it wasn't the right time and it's God's will..... Personally I also felt like I was a failure, as a woman and not even able to conceive, especially when my hubby n I are normal!
It was only this year when I started to take action and seek IVF treatment. Went to KKH then the gynae discover that I had polyps... and it was discovered by my previous gynae of a pte hospital. "That explains why!" I thought and quickly got it removed. After that, my gynae suggested doing IVF right away but I still want to try naturally, esp when the problem had been removed... but Mar to Oct again filled w disappointments. Then during my last appmt, I was told tt my gynae will be leaving the hospital next year & that I can do the IVF in Nov... I was shocked by the news. I have to decide there and then if I want to do it or not...so I agreed....But I spend the rest of the 3 weeks going on a emo roller coaster cos I kept telling myself that I may not need IVF after all before the decision was made.
My cell prayed with me, prayed for me, I actually broke down and cried, cos I felt the sense of failure...then finally coming to terms with it, accepting it that I have to go thru this path....
1 Nov, which is today, when we went to the hospital for the briefing, we were told of the bad news that KKH could not accept anymore new cases for this year as they r very shorthanded now due to the leaving of this doc and some of the team.....
Man! Another round of "WHY???!!!!" was ringing round my head...Now I can't start the treatment until next Feb...Another round of disappointment and letdown...... Why God, why?
I cried. I sobbed, I teared.... Was it to punish me for taking things into my own hands? I dunno.... I can only cast my burdens onto Him...
Only God knows best, for me and my husband. Oh well, from now till Jan, we will just relax and enjoy each other's company....
Thank you for all your posts (was reading thru while sobbing away) and Thank God for you all....God Bless....
blackberry
New Member
hi serene (juvi)
welcome to this thread. i can only imagine your angst when you have psyched yourself up for the KK visit only to be turned away due to the patient numbers. my hugs to u.
it isnt easy to explain when doors are closed but there are other doors that may be opened or God may be opening a window for us to see and understand. but when we start accusing ourselves, we are playing into the devil's plans. pls dun rebuke yourself... hear only from God and His word.
as u said only God know's what's best for us and we have to walk close to Him to understand His heart and to be healed and strengthened by His amazing abundant love. yes, do enjoy your company with ur hb- he is a gift from the Lord, and be at peace. u will know when it is time for the next step.
take care and blessings!
welcome to this thread. i can only imagine your angst when you have psyched yourself up for the KK visit only to be turned away due to the patient numbers. my hugs to u.
it isnt easy to explain when doors are closed but there are other doors that may be opened or God may be opening a window for us to see and understand. but when we start accusing ourselves, we are playing into the devil's plans. pls dun rebuke yourself... hear only from God and His word.
as u said only God know's what's best for us and we have to walk close to Him to understand His heart and to be healed and strengthened by His amazing abundant love. yes, do enjoy your company with ur hb- he is a gift from the Lord, and be at peace. u will know when it is time for the next step.
take care and blessings!
trustinghim, thx for remembering the rest of us who are still in this journey. U were right to say it was painful. It is still painful as I recalled what had happened and put it down in words this morning. But I learnt that with pain may come a big promise if the pain leads me to God (1 Samuel). And I know now that "big promise" can come in any other form/s.
Serene (juvi),
I'm glad u found this thread. I believe ur dr must be dr sf loh. His leaving kk together with dr hendricks and the chief embryologist sure had the remaining staff dunno what to do with all the load in their hands. I understand how u must be feeling to be told u can't go ahead with ur ivf as planned after having convinced and prepped urself for it. I have been through many rounds of ivf, fresh and frozen cycles included. Due to some damage done to my womb during the last d&c, medication does not work very well on me. On many cycles I was told to take oral medication, patches etc.. for 2 weeks or so, only to be told that the stats is not good enough for trsfr.
Don't be disheartened just cos u can only start treatment next Feb. God knows what's best for us. From now till Feb, many things can happen. Many good things can happen cos God is Good, All the Time.
Serene (juvi),
I'm glad u found this thread. I believe ur dr must be dr sf loh. His leaving kk together with dr hendricks and the chief embryologist sure had the remaining staff dunno what to do with all the load in their hands. I understand how u must be feeling to be told u can't go ahead with ur ivf as planned after having convinced and prepped urself for it. I have been through many rounds of ivf, fresh and frozen cycles included. Due to some damage done to my womb during the last d&c, medication does not work very well on me. On many cycles I was told to take oral medication, patches etc.. for 2 weeks or so, only to be told that the stats is not good enough for trsfr.
Don't be disheartened just cos u can only start treatment next Feb. God knows what's best for us. From now till Feb, many things can happen. Many good things can happen cos God is Good, All the Time.
blackberry
New Member
'Absolute Amen' (just learnt this term from hb) to what Yve said. And I just want to affirm that from a reading from Jeremiah- the people in Judah were to be exiled from their land and enter the captors' (Babylonians' land. Surely their hearts are burdened and they wondered why God is doing this to them, but hear what God said to Jeremiah (chapter 24) about this seemingly 'cursed' lot...
4 Then the word of the LORD came to me: 5 “This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘Like these good figs, I regard as good the exiles from Judah, whom I sent away from this place to the land of the Babylonians. 6 My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. 7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.
even though we may feel exiled and in despair, God knows what is happening and will watch over us and build us up. we live in a fallen world and bad, sad things do happen but God is good and He will carry us through. not only that, He will bring greater good even in the seemingly distressing situation. press on, all my sisters!
4 Then the word of the LORD came to me: 5 “This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘Like these good figs, I regard as good the exiles from Judah, whom I sent away from this place to the land of the Babylonians. 6 My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. 7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.
even though we may feel exiled and in despair, God knows what is happening and will watch over us and build us up. we live in a fallen world and bad, sad things do happen but God is good and He will carry us through. not only that, He will bring greater good even in the seemingly distressing situation. press on, all my sisters!
Hi sisters!! Thank you Blackberry n Yve's encouraging post...I am feeling much better today. Took the opportunity to take 2 days of medical leave cos my flu wasn't getting any better... After all the crying, which is very much needed for my spirit and soul, I woke up feeling great.
Want to ask you gals if any of u uses TCM to help boost your body? Is it really that effective? and Who do you see for TCM?
Want to ask you gals if any of u uses TCM to help boost your body? Is it really that effective? and Who do you see for TCM?
Lambi
Well-Known Member
Mricky~
Thanks for the welcome
joie~
So sorry for your loss..im sure God is still in control
Yes i've started on my new cycle..into my suppression stage - 1st stage..next wednsday will start injecting puregon..a tad nervous about ER and ET..
Serene~
Sorry to hear that and good to know that you're better.. i suppose God has his own plans for you..and HE is preparing another skillful doctor for you
As for tcm, i've just tried taking some herbal soups (pre packed by TCM doc) some times and also today i've started some longan and red dates drink..oh and occasionally adding chinese wolfberries to my cooking. im not sure if it does any wonders yet, as im into my 2nd cycle of ICSI..so im not sure..
bellbell/Yve~
sad to hear your stories..don't be discouraged though..light will come shining thru one of these days
Bell, you still sleep apart from your hb? I think it'll be good to confide and talk to your hb and have him to give you some emotional support
i feel, family support is very important as in friends too
take care...
Thanks for the welcome
joie~
So sorry for your loss..im sure God is still in control
Serene~
Sorry to hear that and good to know that you're better.. i suppose God has his own plans for you..and HE is preparing another skillful doctor for you
As for tcm, i've just tried taking some herbal soups (pre packed by TCM doc) some times and also today i've started some longan and red dates drink..oh and occasionally adding chinese wolfberries to my cooking. im not sure if it does any wonders yet, as im into my 2nd cycle of ICSI..so im not sure..
bellbell/Yve~
sad to hear your stories..don't be discouraged though..light will come shining thru one of these days
kaitlynangelica
New Member
Trusting him,
How are you ? I can't seem to send you a PM.
How are you ? I can't seem to send you a PM.
Serene
Some of the sis here do go to the Raffles Hospital for TCM/accupunture. I think they specialise in it.
Maybe the sis here can give you more details.
Before I went for IVF to conceive my 1st kid, I took TCM medicine every week for 1 yr.. I went to Chen Qiu Lan at Tong Ji Institution and also her private practice at Hougang.
I felt it was pretty good to 'tiao' and balance my body.
Chrisl, all the best for your ER. I will pray for you to have good quality eggs! Keep warm and keep close to our Lord.
Some of the sis here do go to the Raffles Hospital for TCM/accupunture. I think they specialise in it.
Maybe the sis here can give you more details.
Before I went for IVF to conceive my 1st kid, I took TCM medicine every week for 1 yr.. I went to Chen Qiu Lan at Tong Ji Institution and also her private practice at Hougang.
I felt it was pretty good to 'tiao' and balance my body.
Chrisl, all the best for your ER. I will pray for you to have good quality eggs! Keep warm and keep close to our Lord.
godknowsbest
New Member
Hi ladies it with heavy heart i came in here... but just keep younger boy in prayers.. the doctor asked me to refer him to see speech therapist n child deveoplment unit. and he has been sick lately.
i just received a call he has some bleeding at his private part.. so keep him in prayers.
i just received a call he has some bleeding at his private part.. so keep him in prayers.
Glad to feel the positive vibes here n God's holy presence in this thread! Definitely spur me on in my journey to attain motherhood!
Serene, I jus fail my FET last mth n Dr Loh gave me the green light to go ahead for another round of FET when my menses came. I was still hesitant cos is like so fast on another round of cycle. But knowing the news that he is leaving kk, of cos like everyone else I tell myself to give 1 last shot with him. I pray hard that my menses will come soon so that i will be in time to do another round with him. N praise the lord my cycle was not haywire aft the failed cycle n it came. I became hesitant to go,I kn that despite Dr Loh leaving is a great loss to KK but I kn ultimately is God that is guiding the doc, God is the one that implant hence I did not go ahead n shall wait till next yr and c how it goes. Who kns I might be expecting....
Trusting him, we shall pray for ur boy. God will be healing him n he will be fine. Trust in the lord n cast ur worries/ anxiety
onto him n he surely will take care! Keep us posted on ur boy.
Serene, I jus fail my FET last mth n Dr Loh gave me the green light to go ahead for another round of FET when my menses came. I was still hesitant cos is like so fast on another round of cycle. But knowing the news that he is leaving kk, of cos like everyone else I tell myself to give 1 last shot with him. I pray hard that my menses will come soon so that i will be in time to do another round with him. N praise the lord my cycle was not haywire aft the failed cycle n it came. I became hesitant to go,I kn that despite Dr Loh leaving is a great loss to KK but I kn ultimately is God that is guiding the doc, God is the one that implant hence I did not go ahead n shall wait till next yr and c how it goes. Who kns I might be expecting....
Trusting him, we shall pray for ur boy. God will be healing him n he will be fine. Trust in the lord n cast ur worries/ anxiety
onto him n he surely will take care! Keep us posted on ur boy.
Glad to feel the positive vibes here n God's holy presence in this thread! Definitely spur me on in my journey to attain motherhood!
Serene, I jus fail my FET last mth n Dr Loh gave me the green light to go ahead for another round of FET when my menses came. I was still hesitant cos is like so fast on another round of cycle. But knowing the news that he is leaving kk, of cos like everyone else I tell myself to give 1 last shot with him. I pray hard that my menses will come soon so that i will be in time to do another round with him. N praise the lord my cycle was not haywire aft the failed cycle n it came. I became hesitant to go,I kn that despite Dr Loh leaving is a great loss to KK but I kn ultimately is God that is guiding the doc, God is the one that implant hence I did not go ahead n shall wait till next yr and c how it goes. Who kns I might be expecting....
Trusting him, we shall pray for ur boy. God will be healing him n he will be fine. Trust in the lord n cast ur worries/ anxiety
onto him n he surely will take care! Keep us posted on ur boy.
Serene, I jus fail my FET last mth n Dr Loh gave me the green light to go ahead for another round of FET when my menses came. I was still hesitant cos is like so fast on another round of cycle. But knowing the news that he is leaving kk, of cos like everyone else I tell myself to give 1 last shot with him. I pray hard that my menses will come soon so that i will be in time to do another round with him. N praise the lord my cycle was not haywire aft the failed cycle n it came. I became hesitant to go,I kn that despite Dr Loh leaving is a great loss to KK but I kn ultimately is God that is guiding the doc, God is the one that implant hence I did not go ahead n shall wait till next yr and c how it goes. Who kns I might be expecting....
Trusting him, we shall pray for ur boy. God will be healing him n he will be fine. Trust in the lord n cast ur worries/ anxiety
onto him n he surely will take care! Keep us posted on ur boy.
godknowsbest
New Member
hi my phone is flat so cant write to vanilla.. so can only write here... did i go ivf and now jo has some health problems right from birth n we prayed n he is well but he is now developing some weird habits n we are really afraid...on 1 hand i oraying that God will heal him but on the other hand i need strength if it is what he will..
i have him via IVF and i choose to love him and take care of him no matter what he will be. I will stnad by this n i kiss him before i left home..my heart is heavy,,i have a strings of appt for him... all my dreams my plans my desire will be all your, LORD..
is it your way for me LORD? going through wait, IVF and then.....
please pray i will be strong.. but i thanks GOd cos the twins are a burden of joy and i am sure if ever what ever the diagnosis outcome ... THe 2 othe rkids will continue to love this brother of theirs even when i am not around.
i have him via IVF and i choose to love him and take care of him no matter what he will be. I will stnad by this n i kiss him before i left home..my heart is heavy,,i have a strings of appt for him... all my dreams my plans my desire will be all your, LORD..
is it your way for me LORD? going through wait, IVF and then.....
please pray i will be strong.. but i thanks GOd cos the twins are a burden of joy and i am sure if ever what ever the diagnosis outcome ... THe 2 othe rkids will continue to love this brother of theirs even when i am not around.
godknowsbest
New Member
though it all is it worth it?..well of course i was wondering if i want him not here.. of course not!! it is going to be experience loving him and taking care of him n praying he will be well... God will use him no matter what he will be... AMEN.
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi TH, no worries let me reply u here then...
on the issue of did i do IVF and Jo is like that... that is a question of desp and hurt posed to God.. and like i mentioned before that was a question i asked God for a long time and eventually i learned that everything is God's will...
it is God's will that we have to do IVF, it is God's will that E is born this way, it is God's will that E has to fight mountains of battles that me his mummy does not have to and cannot bear the burden for him. cos it is God's will for him.
to be honest - E's health conditions is more than just physical defects, doc did advise us to test for some syndrome which i have yet to do so. i read on the internet all the syndrome signs and effects.. it is v v scary. but i told myself God will see and decide the burden for E and for us.
re autism --> to be v v honest - even a natural conceived kid can b autistic so it is not something due to IVF. once our kids have some probs, alot of pple will question--> must be IVF --some staunch ones will say --> cos u go against God.
We cannot stop ppls' words, views or thinkings, but we must believe everything God does it must be for a reason and God does not give us more than we can bear.
on the issue of did i do IVF and Jo is like that... that is a question of desp and hurt posed to God.. and like i mentioned before that was a question i asked God for a long time and eventually i learned that everything is God's will...
it is God's will that we have to do IVF, it is God's will that E is born this way, it is God's will that E has to fight mountains of battles that me his mummy does not have to and cannot bear the burden for him. cos it is God's will for him.
to be honest - E's health conditions is more than just physical defects, doc did advise us to test for some syndrome which i have yet to do so. i read on the internet all the syndrome signs and effects.. it is v v scary. but i told myself God will see and decide the burden for E and for us.
re autism --> to be v v honest - even a natural conceived kid can b autistic so it is not something due to IVF. once our kids have some probs, alot of pple will question--> must be IVF --some staunch ones will say --> cos u go against God.
We cannot stop ppls' words, views or thinkings, but we must believe everything God does it must be for a reason and God does not give us more than we can bear.
blackberry
New Member
TH, i can sense your hurt and deep questions, and they are echoed especially when unexpected things happen like MC, premature births and illnesses. initially i was against IVF and doubted that it was the way to go. I delayed it for some time to the frustration of my hb. it was then that God said to me 'submit to your husband' that i relented. That episode made me realise that God's ways are really higher than our ways and for me to make direct causal links seem an oversimplification of His character. tho i have not met with success, that was what God desired for me at that time and i have to learn to obey rather than start my theological debate...
as to the matter of God's will.i differ from Vanilla. my 2cents here - God's will is what we pray will come forth when we say the Lord's prayer. if it is the status quo, we wouldn't need to seek it. God's will is good and perfect but He doesnt get His way, not with Adam, not with the isrealites and so it is with mankind today. Who's will is at operation and has been at operation? It is the will of men and the prince of the air who entices them. the world is fallen - we have faulty bodies and wickedness prevailing. God- tho this may be shocking to us - is not the one welding control. He is seeking those who will yield to Him so that He can have His way. In all the sad and bad things, God can bring about greater good. Remember Jim Elliot, Corrie Ten Boom and many unsung heroes... He can turn our mourning into dancing, and give us beauty instead of ashes, as we seek and ask and trust.
Am keeping J in prayer, TH and know that God's love for you and your family is perfect and unfailing.
as to the matter of God's will.i differ from Vanilla. my 2cents here - God's will is what we pray will come forth when we say the Lord's prayer. if it is the status quo, we wouldn't need to seek it. God's will is good and perfect but He doesnt get His way, not with Adam, not with the isrealites and so it is with mankind today. Who's will is at operation and has been at operation? It is the will of men and the prince of the air who entices them. the world is fallen - we have faulty bodies and wickedness prevailing. God- tho this may be shocking to us - is not the one welding control. He is seeking those who will yield to Him so that He can have His way. In all the sad and bad things, God can bring about greater good. Remember Jim Elliot, Corrie Ten Boom and many unsung heroes... He can turn our mourning into dancing, and give us beauty instead of ashes, as we seek and ask and trust.
Am keeping J in prayer, TH and know that God's love for you and your family is perfect and unfailing.
godknowsbest
New Member
Thanks for all your encouraging messages!Getting a second opinion next Tue n funny is I manage to get him to see a
godknowsbest
New Member
Speech therapist appointment in two weeks time!faster than myprivate therapy! I just pray for a positive report n just like Jo first false alarm about him having biotin deficiency but the wait is few months! Well what ever it is I will learn to trust God to see us through! Thanks for hearing me out!
Lambi
Well-Known Member
trustinghim~
will keep your boy in my prayers. BTW, frm a preschool teacher's point of view, my suggestion is to let your boy go for help. I know some parents will be in the denial stage at some point but it'll be best for the child to go for early intervention. Don't wait, cos intervention is best whilst the child is young and it'll surely help the child very much. Think about the long term good effects on him that he will not hv to suffer taunts from other children when he grows into primary school level and higher..this will effect his self esteem very much.
As for the blood at pte parts, it could be UTI (urinary tract infection), a course of antibotics will address that issue, go check with doc for more medical advice. Young children are easy to get that, look for signs that they go to toliet very often and said 'pain' while urinating.
But im curious that is your boy in childcare or preschool? Did the teacher feedback anything about his speech difficulties or developmental milestones at all? Cos they could have obtain some baseline data 1st to assist you when you take that data to the doc..(well you see, we have a checklist or a writeup as well as observation reports to submit for every child's parents)
Oh and is your boy the other twin or? I have a friend who have twins and then the younger of the twin has speech difficulty as well as epilepsy.
In times like this we really need God's direction and not to mention faith and hope. Will keep you in my prayers gal...take care and let us know again..
will keep your boy in my prayers. BTW, frm a preschool teacher's point of view, my suggestion is to let your boy go for help. I know some parents will be in the denial stage at some point but it'll be best for the child to go for early intervention. Don't wait, cos intervention is best whilst the child is young and it'll surely help the child very much. Think about the long term good effects on him that he will not hv to suffer taunts from other children when he grows into primary school level and higher..this will effect his self esteem very much.
As for the blood at pte parts, it could be UTI (urinary tract infection), a course of antibotics will address that issue, go check with doc for more medical advice. Young children are easy to get that, look for signs that they go to toliet very often and said 'pain' while urinating.
But im curious that is your boy in childcare or preschool? Did the teacher feedback anything about his speech difficulties or developmental milestones at all? Cos they could have obtain some baseline data 1st to assist you when you take that data to the doc..(well you see, we have a checklist or a writeup as well as observation reports to submit for every child's parents)
Oh and is your boy the other twin or? I have a friend who have twins and then the younger of the twin has speech difficulty as well as epilepsy.
In times like this we really need God's direction and not to mention faith and hope. Will keep you in my prayers gal...take care and let us know again..
Lambi
Well-Known Member
good to know that his appointment is in 2 week's time
that's really fast! btw, do you also know that there's art therapy, music therapy, dance therapy? One of my friend will be conducting a dance movement therapy workshop (for both adults and children in Singapore), you can check more here:
http://www.embodiedmovement-dancetherapy.com/2011/07/singapore-workshopssessions-nov-2011.html?spref=fb
http://www.embodiedmovement-dancetherapy.com/2011/07/singapore-workshopssessions-nov-2011.html?spref=fb
Hi FaithBB, same sentiments here too....God's ways r def way ahead of our own ways. He knows exactly when we r truly ready for the treatment.
I was also wondering why Dr Loh refer me to this doc and not another doctor. I believe all this is God's plan. Hey, we can be cycle buddy and keep each other posted on our progress, together with JoynFaith.
For the past few days, I've been seeking God on this whole matter and I was so totally floored by Him. He knows deep down inside that I wasn't ready, both physically and mentally. He ochestrated this whole (doc leaving, brought fwd the treatment then postponed it)saga to "jolt" me out of the denial mode and on with the "acceptance and action" mode. I have to go thru e emotional yo-yo in order to accept readily. The sunday sermon in church really spoke direct into my heart and I sensed God's peace in me. The peace I was searching for, yearnig for. It was amazing!
To all my sisters who r going thru the process, JIAYOU!!!!!
I was also wondering why Dr Loh refer me to this doc and not another doctor. I believe all this is God's plan. Hey, we can be cycle buddy and keep each other posted on our progress, together with JoynFaith.
For the past few days, I've been seeking God on this whole matter and I was so totally floored by Him. He knows deep down inside that I wasn't ready, both physically and mentally. He ochestrated this whole (doc leaving, brought fwd the treatment then postponed it)saga to "jolt" me out of the denial mode and on with the "acceptance and action" mode. I have to go thru e emotional yo-yo in order to accept readily. The sunday sermon in church really spoke direct into my heart and I sensed God's peace in me. The peace I was searching for, yearnig for. It was amazing!
To all my sisters who r going thru the process, JIAYOU!!!!!
Hi Serene,
Great that u felt peace! Amen!
I'm on an emotional roller coaster ride again, feeling dw n the route in front seems dark to me. I will pray more n stand firm in God's words n not to be anxious in anything but in prayers. Ytdy I was having afternoon time with HB n there is this adorable bb n my HB was 'eyeing' her the whole time, laughing at her cute actions n innocent smile. Her smile really melt ur heart n I feel even lousy with myself upon witnessing such sence n I really don't know what I can do? Even thou my menses wad not haywired but is so scanty that I worried whether should I consult a doc. Haiz... Anyone got gd tcm to reco?
So which doc are u assigned to?
Great that u felt peace! Amen!
I'm on an emotional roller coaster ride again, feeling dw n the route in front seems dark to me. I will pray more n stand firm in God's words n not to be anxious in anything but in prayers. Ytdy I was having afternoon time with HB n there is this adorable bb n my HB was 'eyeing' her the whole time, laughing at her cute actions n innocent smile. Her smile really melt ur heart n I feel even lousy with myself upon witnessing such sence n I really don't know what I can do? Even thou my menses wad not haywired but is so scanty that I worried whether should I consult a doc. Haiz... Anyone got gd tcm to reco?
So which doc are u assigned to?
godknowsbest
New Member
hi i need prayers n yes will sent my boy for early intervention.. may be it is God;s way of telling me to take a break.. with my first born it is study study study but with jo we will take time to smell flowers and see the things around us... no hurry no time no pressure... but learning to enjoy life..
godknowsbest
New Member
sorry my battery going flat i cant reply you all.
godknowsbest
New Member
thanks for comforting me... i must be strong.. joash is really a special boy
godknowsbest
New Member
Joash means gift from God... Rafael means God is my healer... and Daanille means God is my judge... i believe Lord help me with my unbelief!
abigailjoy
Member
Hi sisters, it's been a long time i last posted here. Sorry for the long absence.
TrustingHim is very broken now and has requested the sisters here to pray for her. My heart is heavy as I m typing this. Dunno where to begin. Joash has to go for therapy appointments for autism a few times a week and Trustinghim is emotionally, mentally and physically drained. Joash is also having a bad cough n running a fever, refusing his food and med. At the same time Rafael was in and out of hospital twice. Trustinghim's hb is also not in Singapore so she is the only pillar at home.
Pls pray for God's strength to be upon Trustinghim. Pray that she won't fall into depression. May God's word be a still small voice in her heart daily so that she can walk this journey without fear.
Thx sisters..
TrustingHim is very broken now and has requested the sisters here to pray for her. My heart is heavy as I m typing this. Dunno where to begin. Joash has to go for therapy appointments for autism a few times a week and Trustinghim is emotionally, mentally and physically drained. Joash is also having a bad cough n running a fever, refusing his food and med. At the same time Rafael was in and out of hospital twice. Trustinghim's hb is also not in Singapore so she is the only pillar at home.
Pls pray for God's strength to be upon Trustinghim. Pray that she won't fall into depression. May God's word be a still small voice in her heart daily so that she can walk this journey without fear.
Thx sisters..
blackberry
New Member
Thanks NZ for sharing. It has been some time since we met. Hope you and your household are well.
TrustingHim - keeping you in prayer. as your nick says 'trust Him', may u do just that and know that He is faithful, true and will see you through.
TrustingHim - keeping you in prayer. as your nick says 'trust Him', may u do just that and know that He is faithful, true and will see you through.
abigailjoy
Member
Hi blackberry, its good to see u here again. Me n my family are doing well. We are currentlyrenovating our flat and will be moving back next week. J n D will get to have their own room soon. We should have lunch one day soon
Trustinghim is still very troubled. Her eldest boy is still in hospital and in great pain. There will be more scans and tests for him. Her youngest boy is still recovering at home. Trustinghim shared that she felt like Job in the bible. Let's continue to keep her and her family in prayers.
Trustinghim is still very troubled. Her eldest boy is still in hospital and in great pain. There will be more scans and tests for him. Her youngest boy is still recovering at home. Trustinghim shared that she felt like Job in the bible. Let's continue to keep her and her family in prayers.
Good morning ladies,
God is always faithful.
In 2004, when I went for my 1st pregnancy check with my gynae (after trying naturally for 6 mths), we were shocked when the gynae found a 9cm by 5 cm cysts. He commented that it is impossible for anyone to conceive with such a big cysts n that I m "lucky". But we know its all from God.
During my 2nd trimester, I experienced pains in my tummy. Was admitted to hosp but both gynae n surgeon could not find out the cause. My gynae even prepared us that we were lose our baby if an operation is needed. We pressed on n believe God will take care of everything.
Now, my darling is 7 years old. Looking at him everyday always reminds me of God's mercy n faithfulness to us. When things are impossible to us, it is NOT impossible to God.
Have a blessed week, ladies!
God is always faithful.
In 2004, when I went for my 1st pregnancy check with my gynae (after trying naturally for 6 mths), we were shocked when the gynae found a 9cm by 5 cm cysts. He commented that it is impossible for anyone to conceive with such a big cysts n that I m "lucky". But we know its all from God.
During my 2nd trimester, I experienced pains in my tummy. Was admitted to hosp but both gynae n surgeon could not find out the cause. My gynae even prepared us that we were lose our baby if an operation is needed. We pressed on n believe God will take care of everything.
Now, my darling is 7 years old. Looking at him everyday always reminds me of God's mercy n faithfulness to us. When things are impossible to us, it is NOT impossible to God.
Have a blessed week, ladies!
blackberry
New Member
Thanks for keeping us informed, NZ.
Loopy2 - thanks for dropping by and sharing with us your encouraging story. God bless you.
Loopy2 - thanks for dropping by and sharing with us your encouraging story. God bless you.
Lambi
Well-Known Member
Loopy2
*like* your post
joie~
The weather is up and down..no snow yet at all..i hope it'll not be a green Christmas!
Im in my 2nd day going to 3rd day injection stage. Actually im rather frustrated at the healthcare system here..you see b4 starting my injection (stage 2),i was supposed to hv AF but it didn't come until one week+ later..but just like say a few drops! I was worried that i might be positive so i tested HPT, negative..ok then i called clinic and as advised to take BT if still continue..that was on monday. So came tuesday i was getting worried the more i tot about it so i went to the clinic here to take BT to check for preggy, but the nurse didn't explain to me that they'll need at least 1 week for the test to come back (as the hospital they'll be sending the BT to will be further sending the test to another hospital again!)..from what i understood, they told me was that it'll only need one day to send sample to the hospital then another day to analysis and give results and so i waited and waited for the next day no calls...so further told my hb abt the conversation and he was surprised to hear that..he then further added that it'll mean to say i'll have to wait at least 1 week for the results...so i paid for nothing
then yesterday, i called the IVF clinic and they told me that it's probably my AF so told me to go ahead with my injections...so im now in my 2nd day...next week going for the scan...i hope God is still in control(that im not positive as the medications can harm)..i read a passage that day while doing my quiet time, it reminded me to keep my faith...
just for sharing:
''Abraham said, ''... surely the fear of GOD is not in this place, and they will kill me on the account of my wife.'' Genesis 20:11
--LET your faith overcome your fear, and GOD will turn your worry into worship
*like* your post
joie~
The weather is up and down..no snow yet at all..i hope it'll not be a green Christmas!
Im in my 2nd day going to 3rd day injection stage. Actually im rather frustrated at the healthcare system here..you see b4 starting my injection (stage 2),i was supposed to hv AF but it didn't come until one week+ later..but just like say a few drops! I was worried that i might be positive so i tested HPT, negative..ok then i called clinic and as advised to take BT if still continue..that was on monday. So came tuesday i was getting worried the more i tot about it so i went to the clinic here to take BT to check for preggy, but the nurse didn't explain to me that they'll need at least 1 week for the test to come back (as the hospital they'll be sending the BT to will be further sending the test to another hospital again!)..from what i understood, they told me was that it'll only need one day to send sample to the hospital then another day to analysis and give results and so i waited and waited for the next day no calls...so further told my hb abt the conversation and he was surprised to hear that..he then further added that it'll mean to say i'll have to wait at least 1 week for the results...so i paid for nothing
then yesterday, i called the IVF clinic and they told me that it's probably my AF so told me to go ahead with my injections...so im now in my 2nd day...next week going for the scan...i hope God is still in control(that im not positive as the medications can harm)..i read a passage that day while doing my quiet time, it reminded me to keep my faith...
just for sharing:
''Abraham said, ''... surely the fear of GOD is not in this place, and they will kill me on the account of my wife.'' Genesis 20:11
--LET your faith overcome your fear, and GOD will turn your worry into worship
loopy, it's good to hear your encouraging story.
Chrisl, how's your procedure coming along?
Lena, hope all is going along smoothly with your pregnancy.
Ladies, please continue to pray for Trustinghim. She is really going through trying times with R being in hospital and R going through a battery of tests (CT scan, xrays, blood tests etc) to find out why he has been throwing up.
PTL that the test results have turned out negative!
May the Lord continues to heal R in His way and keep him safe. Also please pray for strength for the family and she will get good help as needed to take care of the family when she spends her time in hospital with R.
Chrisl, how's your procedure coming along?
Lena, hope all is going along smoothly with your pregnancy.
Ladies, please continue to pray for Trustinghim. She is really going through trying times with R being in hospital and R going through a battery of tests (CT scan, xrays, blood tests etc) to find out why he has been throwing up.
PTL that the test results have turned out negative!
May the Lord continues to heal R in His way and keep him safe. Also please pray for strength for the family and she will get good help as needed to take care of the family when she spends her time in hospital with R.
man_in_the_house
New Member
My wife, Samie, is carrying twins and just passed 31 weeks. There is bleeding this morning and I got her admitted to KKH. Doc says there is contraction and cervix is open at 2-3 cm. had some injections to strengthen babies lungs and prevent further contractions. Currently at delivery ward for observation. Please pray for her and babies. Thank you.
Lambi
Well-Known Member
Joie and lena~
Just finished ER yesterday. It was painful!! Here docs do it not fully sedated, so i was conscious for the whole procedure! Painful when the needle went into the uterus for injecting of local anesthetic...then also some pain when they poke another needle in for extraction of the eggs..but thank GOD! It was 15 eggs this time! and only 2 bad ones out of the 15, so they'll be trying to fertilize some and we shall see tomorrow (ET) Im nervous! im very sure taking lots of protein food helped..i took lots of fish..until now im rather sick of it haha. Do pray for me for tomorrow
So you gals? how are you all feeling in your various stages?
DH~
How's your wife now? Hope she's better..is she still in hospital?
Trusting him~
You're in my prayers too
Just finished ER yesterday. It was painful!! Here docs do it not fully sedated, so i was conscious for the whole procedure! Painful when the needle went into the uterus for injecting of local anesthetic...then also some pain when they poke another needle in for extraction of the eggs..but thank GOD! It was 15 eggs this time! and only 2 bad ones out of the 15, so they'll be trying to fertilize some and we shall see tomorrow (ET) Im nervous! im very sure taking lots of protein food helped..i took lots of fish..until now im rather sick of it haha. Do pray for me for tomorrow
So you gals? how are you all feeling in your various stages?
DH~
How's your wife now? Hope she's better..is she still in hospital?
Trusting him~
You're in my prayers too
blackberry
New Member
Chrisl - PTL for the good number of eggs! I am so happy for you. Press on and look to God always. He holds us in the palm of our hands in sunshine and in storm. Will keep you in prayer as you go for ET tomorrow! He is able!
Trusting Him - in this trying season, you have persisted as a mum pouring your love and energy. May God refresh and rejuvenate you! He is Emmanuel and will be with you and your family as you commit your precious children to God and His healing powers. Press on!
Wow! December is less than 24 hours away! How time flies. May the spirit of Christmas, not shopping, be with us - the spirit of love, kindness and Christ! Haha!
Trusting Him - in this trying season, you have persisted as a mum pouring your love and energy. May God refresh and rejuvenate you! He is Emmanuel and will be with you and your family as you commit your precious children to God and His healing powers. Press on!
Wow! December is less than 24 hours away! How time flies. May the spirit of Christmas, not shopping, be with us - the spirit of love, kindness and Christ! Haha!
man_in_the_house
New Member
My babies are just born. They are small and hence need to be in NICU. My wife is still in the recovery ward. Please pray for 3 of them to be well soon. I Thank God for all situations.