abigailjoy
Member
Oh yah, winniepooh, praise God for his blessing. How r u? Any morning sickness? Take care yah.
Christian ivf mums or mums to be
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blackberry
New Member
A blessed and joyous new year to all sisters and their families! 
Thanking God for how He has made the journey easier with the companionship and kindness of the sisters here. Hugs and thanks! You are one of the sweetest blessings God has sent me!
To me, 2010 is kinda tough to say the least and I am reminded about carrying the cross and the words of Job telling his wife “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” (Job2:10). Well, 2011 is here and I believe that God will make our paths straight as we trust in Him and lean not on our own understanding (Prov 3:5-6).
May your next 365 days be touched by the hands of the Lord and be wrapped by His love. And may the Lord be delighted to bring His will to pass in our lives. God bless you richly!
Thanking God for how He has made the journey easier with the companionship and kindness of the sisters here. Hugs and thanks! You are one of the sweetest blessings God has sent me!
To me, 2010 is kinda tough to say the least and I am reminded about carrying the cross and the words of Job telling his wife “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” (Job2:10). Well, 2011 is here and I believe that God will make our paths straight as we trust in Him and lean not on our own understanding (Prov 3:5-6).
May your next 365 days be touched by the hands of the Lord and be wrapped by His love. And may the Lord be delighted to bring His will to pass in our lives. God bless you richly!
kaitlynangelica
New Member
I am a mother of one daughter just turned 7 years old. Had two miscarrages in 2008 and havent conceived since. Am v v depressed. sometimes, when I see christian Mums post in their blogs about how they have 5 or 7 kids, then it makes me wonder why us? Are we loved less by God ?
abigailjoy
Member
Hi winniepooh, I din kw there is such med to stop morning sickness. Last time I merlioned fr 2pm to 2am daily. Dr din give me any med tho. Do u hv to work? If yes, it must be tough to work n vomit whole day.
Thx blackberry. I pray tt this year, I will have better work life balance, with more on Christian life at home and church.
Hi Xmasbb, dun be disheartened. We hv a couple of sisters here who had gone thru wat u r gg thru now. They r now blessed with their second n third child. One is mricky and the other is Trustinghim. Hold on to God, He will not forget any of us. For without God, we r nothing. He works in ways we cannot see but be sure He is working and still is.
Thx blackberry. I pray tt this year, I will have better work life balance, with more on Christian life at home and church.
Hi Xmasbb, dun be disheartened. We hv a couple of sisters here who had gone thru wat u r gg thru now. They r now blessed with their second n third child. One is mricky and the other is Trustinghim. Hold on to God, He will not forget any of us. For without God, we r nothing. He works in ways we cannot see but be sure He is working and still is.
godknowsbest
New Member
hello NZ- blur me.. to use my toy nick here again..i used toy collector to buy stuff or sell stuff last time but choose to use trusting Him cos i can have more privacy when i meet up the mums..
Xmas baby- hello u are at the right place... i am just like u.. i waited sooo long before i went ivf... i took at least 13 rounds of clomid, 2 iui, 1 so-iui, 1 natural ivf, went for laposcopy ( so painful n wasted time n $$ cos cant unblock my tubes) n finally ivf..
i dread hearing pregnant mum stories n seeing people pregnant. people get pregnant as easy as breathing.. but through it all.. GOD is the provider.
on sat my pastor preached about some christian couple with a desire to have children n his altar call is for those whith those needs to go out for prayers.. He said that he sensed some couples tried many means already but GOD is the one who will bless.. i remember the no of times i went out to the altar for this call.. crying buckets for kids.... n now i ended up with 3..
it is a tough journey for all of us who is in this thread... really i some times feel what i been thru cant be as much as what some sisters here who been thru so much.
n my heart goes out to them... i knew sunny since 2006..we walked this journey n i am still keeping her in prayers that God will answer her prayers soon!
Xmas- hang in there! now that i have 3 i sometimes wonder y God think so highly o me...really with more kids comes more responsibilities n i am struggling to be that "rolemodel" for my kids.. in fact me n hb quarrel so badly cos with more kids n no support, it is really tough..
come in n share your prayers request with us,..
suffering from secondary infertility is just as painful as primary infertility n i know it.
winnie- do take care!! the morning sickness might be over n u will see your burden of joy!!
Xmas baby- hello u are at the right place... i am just like u.. i waited sooo long before i went ivf... i took at least 13 rounds of clomid, 2 iui, 1 so-iui, 1 natural ivf, went for laposcopy ( so painful n wasted time n $$ cos cant unblock my tubes) n finally ivf..
i dread hearing pregnant mum stories n seeing people pregnant. people get pregnant as easy as breathing.. but through it all.. GOD is the provider.
on sat my pastor preached about some christian couple with a desire to have children n his altar call is for those whith those needs to go out for prayers.. He said that he sensed some couples tried many means already but GOD is the one who will bless.. i remember the no of times i went out to the altar for this call.. crying buckets for kids.... n now i ended up with 3..
it is a tough journey for all of us who is in this thread... really i some times feel what i been thru cant be as much as what some sisters here who been thru so much.
n my heart goes out to them... i knew sunny since 2006..we walked this journey n i am still keeping her in prayers that God will answer her prayers soon!
Xmas- hang in there! now that i have 3 i sometimes wonder y God think so highly o me...really with more kids comes more responsibilities n i am struggling to be that "rolemodel" for my kids.. in fact me n hb quarrel so badly cos with more kids n no support, it is really tough..
come in n share your prayers request with us,..
suffering from secondary infertility is just as painful as primary infertility n i know it.
winnie- do take care!! the morning sickness might be over n u will see your burden of joy!!
godknowsbest
New Member
hmmmm what day will be good in feb to meet up? my fn rm is small but i can try booking.... potluck? sunny pls do come ...i really need to see how u look like... me age so much since i have twins....
well u all can swim or play in the playground.. well the ladies can chat!!!
well u all can swim or play in the playground.. well the ladies can chat!!!
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">hi sisters Happy Blessed New Yr.
Hi NZ - i am here.. just sometimes dont know what to post so was silent... was busy preparing for E's first day of school tom too...our fren has been testing at times.. his fav words are "i wantt... i want"..even in his sleep, he screams, I want play ball, i want train"..that happ the whole morning today from 230 till 630am i think i need 3 cups of kopi thick to last tdy.
i was thinking hard, and i was thinking harsh. I read some posts here and elsewhere and i got neg emotions. really neg emotions.
I thot that day God must be laughing at us. cos when something unexpected nice happ we proclaimed "it is a miracle from God".... God must be thinking - it is not a miracle, it is my will! when something bad happ, we quetsioned God why why why, God will sigh and say " it is my will...".
we termed bad things, we termed miracles cos we dont understand fully what is God's will.
that sets me thinking of natural disaster or accidents. Int he tusanmi that happened i rem an ex-coll sent this email proclaiming from a survivor how God saved him/her cos he/she prayed. Now i realised - it is all God's will that he/she is saved. While 1 christian is saved, 10 had died in the same disaster and it is God's will. i dont doubt those 10 christians didnt pray as hard as that survivor or pray as right as him/her.
We cannot fight God's will, we spend our whole life fighting or questioning it. I guess my resolution (which i nvr made at all all new yrs, this will be a first) is to accept God's will. Not question Him, not fight Him. Just acceptance.
sorry for super long post. need to get some thots out. </font>
Hi NZ - i am here.. just sometimes dont know what to post so was silent... was busy preparing for E's first day of school tom too...our fren has been testing at times.. his fav words are "i wantt... i want"..even in his sleep, he screams, I want play ball, i want train"..that happ the whole morning today from 230 till 630am i think i need 3 cups of kopi thick to last tdy.
i was thinking hard, and i was thinking harsh. I read some posts here and elsewhere and i got neg emotions. really neg emotions.
I thot that day God must be laughing at us. cos when something unexpected nice happ we proclaimed "it is a miracle from God".... God must be thinking - it is not a miracle, it is my will! when something bad happ, we quetsioned God why why why, God will sigh and say " it is my will...".
we termed bad things, we termed miracles cos we dont understand fully what is God's will.
that sets me thinking of natural disaster or accidents. Int he tusanmi that happened i rem an ex-coll sent this email proclaiming from a survivor how God saved him/her cos he/she prayed. Now i realised - it is all God's will that he/she is saved. While 1 christian is saved, 10 had died in the same disaster and it is God's will. i dont doubt those 10 christians didnt pray as hard as that survivor or pray as right as him/her.
We cannot fight God's will, we spend our whole life fighting or questioning it. I guess my resolution (which i nvr made at all all new yrs, this will be a first) is to accept God's will. Not question Him, not fight Him. Just acceptance.
sorry for super long post. need to get some thots out. </font>
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">another thot that went thru my head - in this infertility world we use science to help us get out of our infertility and have a bb or two or sometimes 3.
though many times in this thread we joked abt how we have a fan club of dr F, it is all lightheartedness. I dont think we all ever think dr F made sisters here who delivered their bbs have their children possible.
the word possible comes from God. Fertility specialists, TCM, docs etc.... they dont cure us. They fixed our prob cos this is only possible from God. God gave them wisdom, God gave us hope via science, but God is still in control.
this morning i was super angry w God, i scolded Him, told Him i hated Him, He is evil.... that is why now after cooling down i still want to say God is God, He is all Almighty and He is all in control and everything is done in His will</font>
though many times in this thread we joked abt how we have a fan club of dr F, it is all lightheartedness. I dont think we all ever think dr F made sisters here who delivered their bbs have their children possible.
the word possible comes from God. Fertility specialists, TCM, docs etc.... they dont cure us. They fixed our prob cos this is only possible from God. God gave them wisdom, God gave us hope via science, but God is still in control.
this morning i was super angry w God, i scolded Him, told Him i hated Him, He is evil.... that is why now after cooling down i still want to say God is God, He is all Almighty and He is all in control and everything is done in His will</font>
sunflower09
Active Member
Blessed New Year to all! May God show us all our ways and grant us more breakthrough in this brand new 2011!
Blackberry, where have you been?! Missed you!! Hope your trip was great!
Xmasbaby, welcome. I think we are loved the same by God, just that He gives differently to each unique child of His according to His will for that child. To some He gives more, some less, some more challenges, some less. As to why, we all will never know till we meet Him.
Have you gotten yourself checked after the 2 miscarrages in 2008? Are you planning to use IVF? God willing, you may just conceive very soon via IVF. Dont depress, just think what you want to do and then do it to get to your goals. Pray every step of the way. God will walk with you.
TH, thanks for your SMSes time to time. Indeed we have known each other such a long time yet ironically i have met the other ladies more, hehe .. i still remember your fear for IVF, for multiple births and at 1 point, your hb was threatening to throw away the toys you had kept and you were saddened. I still remember though i started on IVF first, you were always there to encourage me and comfort me when i had the BFNs and then jump for joy with me when i had the BFPs. Time really flies. Ok ok next time.
Blackberry, where have you been?! Missed you!! Hope your trip was great!
Xmasbaby, welcome. I think we are loved the same by God, just that He gives differently to each unique child of His according to His will for that child. To some He gives more, some less, some more challenges, some less. As to why, we all will never know till we meet Him.
Have you gotten yourself checked after the 2 miscarrages in 2008? Are you planning to use IVF? God willing, you may just conceive very soon via IVF. Dont depress, just think what you want to do and then do it to get to your goals. Pray every step of the way. God will walk with you.
TH, thanks for your SMSes time to time. Indeed we have known each other such a long time yet ironically i have met the other ladies more, hehe .. i still remember your fear for IVF, for multiple births and at 1 point, your hb was threatening to throw away the toys you had kept and you were saddened. I still remember though i started on IVF first, you were always there to encourage me and comfort me when i had the BFNs and then jump for joy with me when i had the BFPs. Time really flies. Ok ok next time.
sunflower09
Active Member
Vanilla, what coincidence, i was also think this morning, really, everything is in God's will. We can only do so much, the rest is in his will. But its indeed hard to have to accept an unfavourable God's will. I hope i have the grace when it comes.
I like this prayer <font color="ff6000">"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."</font>
I like this prayer <font color="ff6000">"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."</font>
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">thanks sunny dear. this prayer is indeed fitting...</font>
blackberry
New Member
Vanilla - quite a lot going through your mind... God is glad that u are confronting Him rather than running away and seeking other lesser powers. He knows your heart and I am heartened by your conclusion that He is Almighty.
Sunny - glad to hear from u. my trip was so bad that it was cut short and when i thought i could make it for a fresh cycle, my bt was not good; so i have to wait for another cycle. well, all in God's hands...
xmasbaby - hello! think we have not 'met' here before. dont lose heart... focus on what you have and not what you dont. when the going gets tough, we will have to count on God's grace to get us through. that's why it is called amazing grace. many sisters here have yet to have one and we will be here for one another in this journey. God's love for us is strong and consistent, unchanging...hugs
Sunny - glad to hear from u. my trip was so bad that it was cut short and when i thought i could make it for a fresh cycle, my bt was not good; so i have to wait for another cycle. well, all in God's hands...
xmasbaby - hello! think we have not 'met' here before. dont lose heart... focus on what you have and not what you dont. when the going gets tough, we will have to count on God's grace to get us through. that's why it is called amazing grace. many sisters here have yet to have one and we will be here for one another in this journey. God's love for us is strong and consistent, unchanging...hugs
blackberry
New Member
hmm.. quiet day. everyone busy at work?
just wanna share something that intrigued me today. by Philip Yancey - "faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse." something to ponder on.
on a lighter note, i am happy to say that Pres Yve and I exercised on the 1st Mon of the year (yesterday)! lol! tickled by that as i reflect on this first week of 2011. well, at least can try to get fit even tho i cant start the cycle
have to confess that i almost blacked out as i didn't take breakfast that morning *blush* Pres Yve was very can and spurred me on.
thank u.
hmmm... when shall we lunch? is next Wed good for anyone? hope to catch up with sisters here, esp those i didnt get to see at christmas gathering. of cos those i saw, wanna see more, dont get me wrong!
So, next Wed, anyone? anyone? the 1st one to say ok can suggest the venue...
just wanna share something that intrigued me today. by Philip Yancey - "faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse." something to ponder on.
on a lighter note, i am happy to say that Pres Yve and I exercised on the 1st Mon of the year (yesterday)! lol! tickled by that as i reflect on this first week of 2011. well, at least can try to get fit even tho i cant start the cycle
hmmm... when shall we lunch? is next Wed good for anyone? hope to catch up with sisters here, esp those i didnt get to see at christmas gathering. of cos those i saw, wanna see more, dont get me wrong!
So, next Wed, anyone? anyone? the 1st one to say ok can suggest the venue...
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">hi blackberry - thanks for starting the lunch gathering. sorry nxt wed i cant make it..hb' bday so wanted to buy him a nice lunch.
wah so good exercise! I am thinking of doing pilates too..but only time is lunchtime. After settling E's going home routine from school i will start..if u and pres yve interested we can all go tog...
today is tokkie's BT. Lets all hold our dear sister and her hb and her babies in prayer. </font>
wah so good exercise! I am thinking of doing pilates too..but only time is lunchtime. After settling E's going home routine from school i will start..if u and pres yve interested we can all go tog...
today is tokkie's BT. Lets all hold our dear sister and her hb and her babies in prayer. </font>
sunflower09
Active Member
Tokkie, keeping you in prayers! I know how it must feel to be waiting, try to relax ya? Good news is worth the wait! I think recently Dr F getting more punctual too, hopefully he will bring the good news soon!
Blackberry, yep, all in God's hands. Maybe wait till a more favourable BT better as more conducive to cycle. Dr F also told me if i were to cycle, he will always check BT first also. Where will lunch be next wed?
Blackberry, yep, all in God's hands. Maybe wait till a more favourable BT better as more conducive to cycle. Dr F also told me if i were to cycle, he will always check BT first also. Where will lunch be next wed?
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">hugs tokkie... we will all fight on with the strength and courage from our Heavenly Father.
hi yve - wah...same bday! u planning/making ai xin brekkie, lunch, dinner and supper for ur laoye?
pilates is not that bad.. low impact actually. I really think i shld do it cos my tummy is so BIG!</font>
hi yve - wah...same bday! u planning/making ai xin brekkie, lunch, dinner and supper for ur laoye?
pilates is not that bad.. low impact actually. I really think i shld do it cos my tummy is so BIG!</font>
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">hi shoes..</font>
sunflower09
Active Member
Tokkie, jia you! Dr F gave you all clear for your earlier test results right? Then its just a matter of the right protocol and success will be near! So jia you! Will you consider another fresh cycle with Dr F so he have more control end to end? Maybe he can also give you the protocol that suits you better.
blackberry
New Member
Tokkie - big big hugs. God is on your side no matter what. And we r here rooting for u too.
Sunny - u wanna propose where to meet? Yve n I can travel to meet u.
Shoes - hi! Haven't heard fr u for some time. How r u?
Mricky - aiyah. So wanna see my srf! So busy one ah u!
Sunny - u wanna propose where to meet? Yve n I can travel to meet u.
Shoes - hi! Haven't heard fr u for some time. How r u?
Mricky - aiyah. So wanna see my srf! So busy one ah u!
Thanks gals!
Blackberry : shld be able to meet for lunch next week!
Shoes : Hi! Yah looks like we are gonna be buddies again! Wahahah! Lets JY together!
Sunny : Yah... seems like Im back to square 1 coz.. everything was cleared and its back to the implantation issues again.... oh well.. as per Dr F last mtg, it could be due to the batch problems... he is proposing to do another round of FET since Ive 5 more left.. but am not too sure.. will need to send him an email to discuss the next step.
Blackberry : shld be able to meet for lunch next week!
Shoes : Hi! Yah looks like we are gonna be buddies again! Wahahah! Lets JY together!
Sunny : Yah... seems like Im back to square 1 coz.. everything was cleared and its back to the implantation issues again.... oh well.. as per Dr F last mtg, it could be due to the batch problems... he is proposing to do another round of FET since Ive 5 more left.. but am not too sure.. will need to send him an email to discuss the next step.
kaitlynangelica
New Member
Dear all,
Thank you for all the wonderful welcomes here. I really didn't expect it. You know on christmas day,there was an article in the Straits times about this family with 7 kids. The one where the father is a pastor. Can't help but feel why is God so unfair? I think most of us just want one or two and so why is that family so unproportionately blessed?
Thank you for all the wonderful welcomes here. I really didn't expect it. You know on christmas day,there was an article in the Straits times about this family with 7 kids. The one where the father is a pastor. Can't help but feel why is God so unfair? I think most of us just want one or two and so why is that family so unproportionately blessed?
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">hi sisters.
Hi xmasbb, believing in God and Jesus Christ as the son of God does not mean we are blessed w good things or things we want. Calling God Lord and believing He is our only God is for us to have salvation.
God does not create day(as in light) for Christians only and night(darkness) for non-believers. we all get day and night, light and darkness tog.
We dun know why God seems in our human terms give more to some and less to others. Like i mentioned in my earlier post, I will try to stop questioning and accept His will.
</font>
Hi xmasbb, believing in God and Jesus Christ as the son of God does not mean we are blessed w good things or things we want. Calling God Lord and believing He is our only God is for us to have salvation.
God does not create day(as in light) for Christians only and night(darkness) for non-believers. we all get day and night, light and darkness tog.
We dun know why God seems in our human terms give more to some and less to others. Like i mentioned in my earlier post, I will try to stop questioning and accept His will.
</font>
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">i believe God is moulding us. Through pain and grief He is making us stronger as we grow in faith and in His strength. </font>
blackberry
New Member
hi xmasbaby - blessings is what God gives to those who obey and seek Him. but the form that blessings take is decided by our sovereign God. We have to let God be God if we want to let Him lead us and trust in His heart. dont be dismayed. nothing can separate us from His love and goodness. when i am discouraged, I choose to remember the Giver and not the gift i seek, and take solace in His unconditional, perfect love and plan for me.
sisters - no one else can have lunch on next Wed? so it will be Sunny, Yve and I? and maybe Tokkie?
sisters - no one else can have lunch on next Wed? so it will be Sunny, Yve and I? and maybe Tokkie?
godknowsbest
New Member
tokkie- do take care... n rest well till the next cycle... Hang in there!
Xmas baby- we come here to share our burden...so pour your heart out..
this place is like my diary where i pen my frustration...
let me share 1 i wrote in 2006 in one of the threads here
=========================================
a 2nd one is just as wanted as the 1st one... i feel as much with those who has no kids..the intensity and yearning to have another is just as strong ....
i believe i will cry buckets of joy if i can see 2 lines in the pregnancy kit cos 1st child waited 2 yrs and now no. 2 i am still counting n counting...
i was sooo depressed today..one of my pri school friend who told me she will try for another kid only next yr..delivered her no.2 today..she's was even telling me not so soon as she just had no.1 in feb 05. i was not even awared that she is pregnant and the blow came when in the recent gathering found out she is p with 2nd kid ( y people accident so easily esp when they are not really keen...sigh)
for me..i kept asking why? the 1st time tried for close to 2 yrs ( 1 yr plus tried to conceive natuarlly) n finally just 3 rounds of clomid i conceived.. but this time so many rounds of clomid still no news... and i tell u the worst wost new was my hubby had trusion in sept 05 and i started on clomid since last aug 05..with trusion, hubby is in pain so cant try for any kids for few mths but i still faith fully take folic and since jan 06 till now still no news. the chances of conceiving is so much reduced that my hubby refused to even go for SA anymore..
just like dor , i kept blaming my hubby cos i know i am ovulating with clomid but YYYYY not kids so long already....this mth we even started using the ovulation kit but to be frank, i was not as zealous as when i have no.1, i used temp, ovulation kit, muscus method etc to find my peak..
cos i always wonder how come my friend can accident.. is it i stressed myself too much...
i am feeling so down that i dread visiting this friend's new born...people will sure ask how come we dun have... imagine i started earlier to have my no.1 ..now people no. 2 already but i still wonder when no. 2 will come..
it's true we need to count our blessing but the desire to have more kids is sooo great.....
-----------------------------------------
i pray that one day you too can read what you wrote and close the chapter of been barren for so long...i never could believe i finally conceived after been on folic for 4 years....crazy right?i faithfully eat my folic without fail n yes i still have folic in my fridge ....
now my son is going 8 n bb is only 1... everywhere we go pple ask us how come so big the age gap? where twins..is it ivf etc?
frankly till date the bb are not even dedicated in church cos i m tired of answering how i got these pair of twins..
but i believe God is the provider of these babies not me..not science..
i am so tired of breast feeding but for the long wait i decided to press on....cos i am sure i wont have anymore kids..
but frankly with more kids means more financial commitment n i ended up working to pay for maid, nanny ( to enjoy my bb). i reached home so tired n spend my time with my son p2 work..
of cos i wish my son is only 3 instead of 8 then they can just play whole day long...but now i need to teach my son orelse he will be happily playing or disturbing the siblings...
but to be honest i was so tired that i took a short nap when home but the most amazing thing was my son managed to come in 1st in his class last year ( not any effort on my part but it was God who provided my son with a very encouraging sch teacher who believed that he can be used for God 's purpose)
it still a struggle for me to quit or to work as hb will leave for US soon for 3 mths n i am going to be a single mother for the time being.. i am praying for direction..
Xmas baby- we come here to share our burden...so pour your heart out..
this place is like my diary where i pen my frustration...
let me share 1 i wrote in 2006 in one of the threads here
=========================================
a 2nd one is just as wanted as the 1st one... i feel as much with those who has no kids..the intensity and yearning to have another is just as strong ....
i believe i will cry buckets of joy if i can see 2 lines in the pregnancy kit cos 1st child waited 2 yrs and now no. 2 i am still counting n counting...
i was sooo depressed today..one of my pri school friend who told me she will try for another kid only next yr..delivered her no.2 today..she's was even telling me not so soon as she just had no.1 in feb 05. i was not even awared that she is pregnant and the blow came when in the recent gathering found out she is p with 2nd kid ( y people accident so easily esp when they are not really keen...sigh)
for me..i kept asking why? the 1st time tried for close to 2 yrs ( 1 yr plus tried to conceive natuarlly) n finally just 3 rounds of clomid i conceived.. but this time so many rounds of clomid still no news... and i tell u the worst wost new was my hubby had trusion in sept 05 and i started on clomid since last aug 05..with trusion, hubby is in pain so cant try for any kids for few mths but i still faith fully take folic and since jan 06 till now still no news. the chances of conceiving is so much reduced that my hubby refused to even go for SA anymore..
just like dor , i kept blaming my hubby cos i know i am ovulating with clomid but YYYYY not kids so long already....this mth we even started using the ovulation kit but to be frank, i was not as zealous as when i have no.1, i used temp, ovulation kit, muscus method etc to find my peak..
cos i always wonder how come my friend can accident.. is it i stressed myself too much...
i am feeling so down that i dread visiting this friend's new born...people will sure ask how come we dun have... imagine i started earlier to have my no.1 ..now people no. 2 already but i still wonder when no. 2 will come..
it's true we need to count our blessing but the desire to have more kids is sooo great.....
-----------------------------------------
i pray that one day you too can read what you wrote and close the chapter of been barren for so long...i never could believe i finally conceived after been on folic for 4 years....crazy right?i faithfully eat my folic without fail n yes i still have folic in my fridge ....
now my son is going 8 n bb is only 1... everywhere we go pple ask us how come so big the age gap? where twins..is it ivf etc?
frankly till date the bb are not even dedicated in church cos i m tired of answering how i got these pair of twins..
but i believe God is the provider of these babies not me..not science..
i am so tired of breast feeding but for the long wait i decided to press on....cos i am sure i wont have anymore kids..
but frankly with more kids means more financial commitment n i ended up working to pay for maid, nanny ( to enjoy my bb). i reached home so tired n spend my time with my son p2 work..
of cos i wish my son is only 3 instead of 8 then they can just play whole day long...but now i need to teach my son orelse he will be happily playing or disturbing the siblings...
but to be honest i was so tired that i took a short nap when home but the most amazing thing was my son managed to come in 1st in his class last year ( not any effort on my part but it was God who provided my son with a very encouraging sch teacher who believed that he can be used for God 's purpose)
it still a struggle for me to quit or to work as hb will leave for US soon for 3 mths n i am going to be a single mother for the time being.. i am praying for direction..
sunflower09
Active Member
Hi Blackberry, you gals proceed first then just let me know where? I can only confirm on that day itself cuz i am supposed to have offsite meetings that morning which i dont know if can end in time.
Hi Xmasbb *hugs* I know how you feel but i want to encourage you to dont compare with others. Just try your best and let God do the rest. He may eventually give us the gifts or he may not. But whatever it is, its in his plan. When we meet him 1 day, we will know why.
Just like when we were small, there were times and things our parents rejected us despite our tantrums and cries and screams. We never knew why then but now we can understand. God is probably playing this parental role now. To some of us, maybe he is saying "no, my child" and to some "wait, my child".
So just have a plan and work towards it, like if you want to try IVF then give yourself a timeline decide how many tries you will accept. Then brace up every step of the way. Till when the plan is over, if still nothing works, at least you know you have tried. God will have a good reason why things turned out the way they did.
Hi Xmasbb *hugs* I know how you feel but i want to encourage you to dont compare with others. Just try your best and let God do the rest. He may eventually give us the gifts or he may not. But whatever it is, its in his plan. When we meet him 1 day, we will know why.
Just like when we were small, there were times and things our parents rejected us despite our tantrums and cries and screams. We never knew why then but now we can understand. God is probably playing this parental role now. To some of us, maybe he is saying "no, my child" and to some "wait, my child".
So just have a plan and work towards it, like if you want to try IVF then give yourself a timeline decide how many tries you will accept. Then brace up every step of the way. Till when the plan is over, if still nothing works, at least you know you have tried. God will have a good reason why things turned out the way they did.
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">hi sisters</font>
<font color="ff0000">CNY gathering.....shall we do one? End Feb? though technically is after CNY 15 days but ok lah.. the festive mood still there...
proposed date: 26 Feb 2011</font>
<font color="ff0000">CNY gathering.....shall we do one? End Feb? though technically is after CNY 15 days but ok lah.. the festive mood still there...
proposed date: 26 Feb 2011</font>
Hi all, I've been a silent reader since Jan 2010. I failed my third IVF cycle in March 2010. It takes me some courage to post as I'm quite a private person but I gained lots of comfort, support and encouragement by reading all your post. It can be a very lonely journey during cycling as usually not many people know and sometimes I just need the assurance and understanding fr people who can understand the ivf journey well. I questioned God a lot of time. I asked Him if it is that I'm not a good mother or cant't be a good mother.I agree with trustingHim that a second one is just as wanted as the 1st one. I had my first child in1999 after 3 cycles of chromid after one and the half year of trying. Less than 2 mths of his birth via caesarean, my appendix ruptured and gynae warned me that my tubes might be blocked. True enough as time passed, the blockage of tubes got worse. To cut story short, I had 1 lapro to unblock tubes, another lapro to remove tubes as they got worse and throughout the years fr 2002 to 2010 I had gone through 3 fresh IVF cycles and 1 FET. I asked God every time the cycle failed( I have very few follicles with high dosage) and after every try I thought I would stop but the yearning for another child made me try again. I wonder am I too stubborn? am I being disobedient? Is it really God's will that I can have only one child? I beg God to give me one more, to let me be pregnant again, to hold another of my own in my arms again. A lot of people said I am already blessed to have my son, yes, indeed I'm and I thank God for my beautiful son who is 12 this year. So why am I so stubborn? Why can't I accept the fact that I will have only one child? I really don't know. However, i know that God is with me and every cycle is unique and every journey strengthens my faith in Him and I could feel His love and peace despite being despondent after each failed session. I'm in the midst of my 4th fresh cycle. I've only very few follicles despite high dosage due to high FSH and my age. Stimulation is prolonged as follicles are growing slowly but i thank God that at least they are growing consistently. I'm going for ER next Monday and I pray that God will bless me that there will be healthy and mature eggs for fertilization. So sorry for the long post. I am taking each step at a time and I know God is walking with me and l like what Blackberry said " remember the Giver and not the gift i seek, and take solace in His unconditional, perfect love and plan for me."
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">hi germenie - hello sister. while i read ur post i can sense how strong u are. U are like some sisters here whom i uphold alot cos all of u have the strength and courage to continue ... i think what Blackberry say before is true "it aint over till the Lord says so".. and i think we will know when God wants us to stop.
I will pray for ur ER on coming Mon. Pray that God will be with u and ur eggs.</font>
I will pray for ur ER on coming Mon. Pray that God will be with u and ur eggs.</font>
sunflower09
Active Member
Hi Germenie, welcome to post here. We can be your listening eye. Can understand your strong desire to have another child, afterall its nothing wrong, and even the bible say "Be fruitful and multiply." I also admire your courage and perseverance to actively seek your goal. I also pray God let it be this time to grant your heart's desires.
Hi all.... Finally a big project at work is almost completed.. I dread doing presentation in a group and was so stress preparing the slide and presenting
to the bosses... Now I am so looking sooo forward to join the LOL club...
"Pad pad" tokkie.. Let's jiayou together, I am cycling in march and we can be cycle buddies! Oh ya and shoes too....
hi Germinen, welcome! I get a lot of support from this thread and sisters here are very encourging.. Is not an easy journey and will need support.. 5 years of ttc is just so amazing for me, I don't know how I pass this 5 years but I must say having an supportive Hubby does help in my ttc journey.. So persist on sisters!
to the bosses... Now I am so looking sooo forward to join the LOL club...
"Pad pad" tokkie.. Let's jiayou together, I am cycling in march and we can be cycle buddies! Oh ya and shoes too....
hi Germinen, welcome! I get a lot of support from this thread and sisters here are very encourging.. Is not an easy journey and will need support.. 5 years of ttc is just so amazing for me, I don't know how I pass this 5 years but I must say having an supportive Hubby does help in my ttc journey.. So persist on sisters!
kaitlynangelica
New Member
Germenie,
I am in the same boat as you. My daughter is P2 this year. I also donno why am i so stubborn.I have told the Lord to give me peace if it is truly his will to have just one child. At times, I am able to forget it, especially if I start talking to other one-child families. Other times, I feel the longing so badly that I start to cry until I feel a pain in my chest. Some days, I walk around like a zombie, unable to shake this out of my head.
I am in the same boat as you. My daughter is P2 this year. I also donno why am i so stubborn.I have told the Lord to give me peace if it is truly his will to have just one child. At times, I am able to forget it, especially if I start talking to other one-child families. Other times, I feel the longing so badly that I start to cry until I feel a pain in my chest. Some days, I walk around like a zombie, unable to shake this out of my head.
Hi Vanilla, sunny, Bingo- thank you so much for your welcome, encouragement and prayers. Very much appreciated. It's so marvelous to be able to share and get support.
Hi xmasbaby- I had similar thought and pain as you. I'll cry myself to sleep in the past and the thought that I can't have another child really saddens me. However, I learnt that prayers give me peace. When I feel depressed, I would praise God and even sing if I don't know what to say. Yesterday night, I was in church and message was very clear to me: have trust and faith in the Lord. All the while, I thought that I trust God but yesterday I realized that to really have trust and faith in God means you can experience inner peace and calmness despite how "bad" situation is or what obstacles is in front of you. It's like instead of regarding a half-filled bottle as half empty but see it as half filled. I can't really expressed how I feel well, it's like there's no more fear and no more worries when we just trust in Him. I'll lift you and all the sisters in this forum up in my prayers and I pray that the merciful God will bless all of you in ways that is best for you.
Hi xmasbaby- I had similar thought and pain as you. I'll cry myself to sleep in the past and the thought that I can't have another child really saddens me. However, I learnt that prayers give me peace. When I feel depressed, I would praise God and even sing if I don't know what to say. Yesterday night, I was in church and message was very clear to me: have trust and faith in the Lord. All the while, I thought that I trust God but yesterday I realized that to really have trust and faith in God means you can experience inner peace and calmness despite how "bad" situation is or what obstacles is in front of you. It's like instead of regarding a half-filled bottle as half empty but see it as half filled. I can't really expressed how I feel well, it's like there's no more fear and no more worries when we just trust in Him. I'll lift you and all the sisters in this forum up in my prayers and I pray that the merciful God will bless all of you in ways that is best for you.
kaitlynangelica
New Member
How old are you Germenie? I am turning 38 yo this year. I just saw on facebook another ex classmate of mine just gave birth to her 2nd child and I felt a little sad again.
Re your post about haveing peace , I also believe that it means that we trust God that in the event that we have only one child, it is really for our best. And life goes on regardless of whether or not we have another child and God will continue to use us to fulfil his will.
Thank you for all your kind prayers.
Re your post about haveing peace , I also believe that it means that we trust God that in the event that we have only one child, it is really for our best. And life goes on regardless of whether or not we have another child and God will continue to use us to fulfil his will.
Thank you for all your kind prayers.
Hi there germenie, I can understd how u feel. Secondary infertility is the same , same desperation, same headache, same yearning.
My elder gal is p4 tis yr. I gv birth to my 2nd bb in dec 2009. U can read the archive. Me n trusting him were in the sameboat. We were once in the same cycle, she had twins n I had bfn..
I wondered the same thoughts as u n same prayers as u did. I even made a 'promise' to God that I'll be a good girl if age grants me the gift of another bb. I tried everything fr western to tcm, basal temperature, ovulation kit etc.
Hold on ok? I may hv been blessed but my bb was born so young (24 weeks 5 dys) tat I wonder whether she could make it thru the first 24 days.. God did answer my prayers but the test of faith continued from the day I bnp till another 1.5 years later.
I know we all can be strong in His arms. Xmasbb also... Nothing wrong to hv a second. My sil just gt preg (#3) n she kept saying sien. I more sien hearing her say sien.
Anyway u can always come to us, we can b yr listening ears. Most of sll, continue to hold on to God's love n grace
vanilla 26 feb sounds ok
My elder gal is p4 tis yr. I gv birth to my 2nd bb in dec 2009. U can read the archive. Me n trusting him were in the sameboat. We were once in the same cycle, she had twins n I had bfn..
I wondered the same thoughts as u n same prayers as u did. I even made a 'promise' to God that I'll be a good girl if age grants me the gift of another bb. I tried everything fr western to tcm, basal temperature, ovulation kit etc.
Hold on ok? I may hv been blessed but my bb was born so young (24 weeks 5 dys) tat I wonder whether she could make it thru the first 24 days.. God did answer my prayers but the test of faith continued from the day I bnp till another 1.5 years later.
I know we all can be strong in His arms. Xmasbb also... Nothing wrong to hv a second. My sil just gt preg (#3) n she kept saying sien. I more sien hearing her say sien.
Anyway u can always come to us, we can b yr listening ears. Most of sll, continue to hold on to God's love n grace
vanilla 26 feb sounds ok
kaitlynangelica
New Member
So where is the meeting on Feb 26th?
Hi.
First of all, a very warm welcome to xmasbaby and Germenie. It must have been God who led you here to this thread. I've always believed that it was God who showed me the way here. I hope you find strength and maybe make some good friends here, just like what I have experienced!
It may be too much of a hassle to read back on each and everyone of our history. To cut a super long story, I'm in a very much "worse state" than most of the ladies here. Ivf has seen me m/c-ing 2 times and the last d&c might have just scarred my womb for good. For a period of time, I was very bitter too. I was also angry with God. Questioning Him. Doubting His existence. I refused to go to church. Refused to attend cellgroup mtgs. Guess, I must have worried my cgl a lot.
Through interaction with the sisters in this thread, I have learnt a lot about life. About myself. About Christ. I went through the archives to specially find this, written by our sister Blackberry:
"me still thinking much abt the sovereignty and goodness of God; one tends to think that if God is sovereign (and hence, powerful), why does He not act in times of distress? Should we doubt His character (like His goodness) then? And if God is good, why does He not act? Is it that He is not as powerful as we think? Well, as i mentioned in the earlier post, He is both and to define Him is not something we can do. i trust that in some mysterious way, there will be a greater good that will come out of our trials and suffering.
right now i am thinking that if we are in despair, let's turn it to dependency (on God and us, the community?) and if we have become bitter or are tempted to be bitter as we go through trials, let's endeavour to get better..."
As I strive on in my ttc journey, I'm keeping in mind that I shall strive to be better, not bitter. Blackberry may not know it but this is what I keep reminding myself every day. At times, it is difficult. I know that's 'cos I'm human. But still, I try. Recently, Blackberry came up with another "famous quote", "we can't get pregnant, we get fit!" We've been exercising regularly. It's a good start to the new year. I'm keeping all the sisters here in prayer. May everyone find peace in their hearts and taste success!
First of all, a very warm welcome to xmasbaby and Germenie. It must have been God who led you here to this thread. I've always believed that it was God who showed me the way here. I hope you find strength and maybe make some good friends here, just like what I have experienced!
It may be too much of a hassle to read back on each and everyone of our history. To cut a super long story, I'm in a very much "worse state" than most of the ladies here. Ivf has seen me m/c-ing 2 times and the last d&c might have just scarred my womb for good. For a period of time, I was very bitter too. I was also angry with God. Questioning Him. Doubting His existence. I refused to go to church. Refused to attend cellgroup mtgs. Guess, I must have worried my cgl a lot.
Through interaction with the sisters in this thread, I have learnt a lot about life. About myself. About Christ. I went through the archives to specially find this, written by our sister Blackberry:
"me still thinking much abt the sovereignty and goodness of God; one tends to think that if God is sovereign (and hence, powerful), why does He not act in times of distress? Should we doubt His character (like His goodness) then? And if God is good, why does He not act? Is it that He is not as powerful as we think? Well, as i mentioned in the earlier post, He is both and to define Him is not something we can do. i trust that in some mysterious way, there will be a greater good that will come out of our trials and suffering.
right now i am thinking that if we are in despair, let's turn it to dependency (on God and us, the community?) and if we have become bitter or are tempted to be bitter as we go through trials, let's endeavour to get better..."
As I strive on in my ttc journey, I'm keeping in mind that I shall strive to be better, not bitter. Blackberry may not know it but this is what I keep reminding myself every day. At times, it is difficult. I know that's 'cos I'm human. But still, I try. Recently, Blackberry came up with another "famous quote", "we can't get pregnant, we get fit!" We've been exercising regularly. It's a good start to the new year. I'm keeping all the sisters here in prayer. May everyone find peace in their hearts and taste success!
godknowsbest
New Member
Germaine-thanks for coming in..when i count my tears in the past, i keep wondering y soooo long but when i hear your story i wonder wow what a strong woman of God you are!...my bucket of tears is seems nothing compared to you
the worst worst scenario that ever happen to me was in 2008 when i went for a waste $$ waste time n most importantly lots of pain surgery- my failed 5 in 1 tube recanalisation cum laposcopy.. cos after all the pain i went thru, then the dr told me he was not able to unblock the left tube at all..
but when i was in the kkh waiting rm b4 the operation, there are a group of ladies who chatted when we are there for the surgery- 1 for ligation 1 for dn c ( baby no heart beat) but i can see a few young gals ( dunno if it is abortion) but the most sickening that happened was when i was lying on the bed another gal was lying beside mine n the nurse just pulled the curtain n chatted with her...she was there for abortion cos she just married 1 mth ago n she found out that she was 2 mths pregnant..she told the nurse she feels that the baby is the right timing cos they want to earn more $$ before starting a family...
i was in despair..i was asking God ...there i was going for an op so that i can have kids but there this young gal aged 24 that is taking away a life...
after the op the dr didnt even tell me that he did not unblock the tubes but told me to go home n rest..it was 2 wks later that in my TCU that the dr told me the BAD news that it cannot be unblocked at all.
so strange rite? 1st child not blocked but few years later it just blocked.. n only 1 side...
so i went for so-iui praying that the egg will come out from the right side so i stand a chance to conceive but it failed anyway...
the worst worst scenario that ever happen to me was in 2008 when i went for a waste $$ waste time n most importantly lots of pain surgery- my failed 5 in 1 tube recanalisation cum laposcopy.. cos after all the pain i went thru, then the dr told me he was not able to unblock the left tube at all..
but when i was in the kkh waiting rm b4 the operation, there are a group of ladies who chatted when we are there for the surgery- 1 for ligation 1 for dn c ( baby no heart beat) but i can see a few young gals ( dunno if it is abortion) but the most sickening that happened was when i was lying on the bed another gal was lying beside mine n the nurse just pulled the curtain n chatted with her...she was there for abortion cos she just married 1 mth ago n she found out that she was 2 mths pregnant..she told the nurse she feels that the baby is the right timing cos they want to earn more $$ before starting a family...
i was in despair..i was asking God ...there i was going for an op so that i can have kids but there this young gal aged 24 that is taking away a life...
after the op the dr didnt even tell me that he did not unblock the tubes but told me to go home n rest..it was 2 wks later that in my TCU that the dr told me the BAD news that it cannot be unblocked at all.
so strange rite? 1st child not blocked but few years later it just blocked.. n only 1 side...
so i went for so-iui praying that the egg will come out from the right side so i stand a chance to conceive but it failed anyway...
godknowsbest
New Member
xmas- have u seen the dr? maybe u can get a check n see if you need some help...some times it could just be put u on clomid..
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">hi sisters
thot i shld change color to something more cheery and bright and not blue cos it will be like monday blues
i think regardless if no1, 2 or 3, once we dun get what we hope for it is still the same yearning and questioning to God. though it will be a different type of pain, differnt form of doubt.
someone asks me that day - so are u planning to have a playmate for E? i replied it is not easy.
why not easy? those who knows me will know i have more than 10 embryos stashed in a freezer in Orchard area...why not?
becos i know God is in control and His will is not for me to have a second one/third one now... future i am not sure..all i can do is suppress my want and trust in Him </font>
thot i shld change color to something more cheery and bright and not blue cos it will be like monday blues
i think regardless if no1, 2 or 3, once we dun get what we hope for it is still the same yearning and questioning to God. though it will be a different type of pain, differnt form of doubt.
someone asks me that day - so are u planning to have a playmate for E? i replied it is not easy.
why not easy? those who knows me will know i have more than 10 embryos stashed in a freezer in Orchard area...why not?
becos i know God is in control and His will is not for me to have a second one/third one now... future i am not sure..all i can do is suppress my want and trust in Him </font>
godknowsbest
New Member
i am behaving like a hard up "kid" addict now...i am trying to get my "high" by hopping to get more p kits and see a p result on it.... i m counting minutes, hours to the m day..if no m comes by 1 day i will be happy, by 2 days happier and by 1 wk, i will be overjoyed...
i m losing control and know only my faith in God that is holding me and keeping me sane... i so worried i will kidnap people 's newborn if i see anymore newborns in jan 07 mtb section.. sigh..
oct mtb has started but how come i not yet sign up for the sept mtb... i even calculate if i am p should due on 27 sept... body body are u p or not?
sorry i just need to let it out.. i been raising hopes mth by mth n my hope of ever been p is draining draining..down.
Germaine and Xmas- i wrote this in jan 2007... i was like trying to start the jan mtb 2007 n well days passed but i cant even write in any of the 2007 mtb thread.. i was "mad" and getting "madder" each day cos i was so so desperate to get pregnant again.. i understand what u gone thru..n it will be great if your hubby gives you the support..i would not have walked so far if not for all the friends i made ....starting with Sunny, Dor,Patsy, Hug me,Vanilla, NZ, Twinnies, Mricky, Joie, thistle. n the list goes on.
last time SUnny started a thread for christian with fertility issues n most of us were rather shy( just like you) n so we did not meet up for prayers even though Patsy suggested meeting up...
ha ha but thanks to Vanilla- we see each other and we know each other better n keep each other in prayers.. now NZ is my twins mum "consultant"- always bother her with my sms n qns, Mricky was my " pumping" buddy - we woke each ther to remind us to pump...
hope we can meet up with you oneday ...i am praying that it will be BFP for your 2 wks wait!! press on!!
i m losing control and know only my faith in God that is holding me and keeping me sane... i so worried i will kidnap people 's newborn if i see anymore newborns in jan 07 mtb section.. sigh..
oct mtb has started but how come i not yet sign up for the sept mtb... i even calculate if i am p should due on 27 sept... body body are u p or not?
sorry i just need to let it out.. i been raising hopes mth by mth n my hope of ever been p is draining draining..down.
Germaine and Xmas- i wrote this in jan 2007... i was like trying to start the jan mtb 2007 n well days passed but i cant even write in any of the 2007 mtb thread.. i was "mad" and getting "madder" each day cos i was so so desperate to get pregnant again.. i understand what u gone thru..n it will be great if your hubby gives you the support..i would not have walked so far if not for all the friends i made ....starting with Sunny, Dor,Patsy, Hug me,Vanilla, NZ, Twinnies, Mricky, Joie, thistle. n the list goes on.
last time SUnny started a thread for christian with fertility issues n most of us were rather shy( just like you) n so we did not meet up for prayers even though Patsy suggested meeting up...
ha ha but thanks to Vanilla- we see each other and we know each other better n keep each other in prayers.. now NZ is my twins mum "consultant"- always bother her with my sms n qns, Mricky was my " pumping" buddy - we woke each ther to remind us to pump...
hope we can meet up with you oneday ...i am praying that it will be BFP for your 2 wks wait!! press on!!
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">26th Feb gathering - not sure yet.. any one to volunteer their function room? </font>