Child not talking in school

[strawberrypink82]

My gal is currently 3yr 7mths and is attending play group since 2yrs old and teachers always say that she is not talking in class so i thought she does not like the sch and changed her to another sch which is the same sch as the elder brother. She has been in the sch for about 1yr. Initially she is so relectant to get involve in the class activities and interacting with teachers and children. Now she start to involve in the class activities but still refused to talk to the english teacher only occassionally talk to chinese teacher when teacher call up her name.
Even i brought her to art lesson, she is also not talking to the teacher only knod her head instead of opening her mouth to talk.

Where else at home she is so chatty till i have to ask her to stop talking.....

 

[moorspa7]

She is probably more comfortable at home compared to school. Give her time to warm up to the teachers. It may take longer for her to familiarize herself with the teachers. Encourage her to talk more in school at the same time. Is she very shy with strangers?

 

[strawberrypink82]

Hi moorspa,

Its been a yr already still shy? She is shy to certain strangers only. But sometime i see her talking so much to strangers like a "small small aunty"!

 

[frog]

Personally so long as she is talking at home, I wouldn't be too worried. My daughter had a classmate whom refused to speak in the class, too. By the time he was in K1 he barely spoke to his classmates, but one day in K2 he decided to speak and his teacher hadn't been able to get him to stop talking!

You can consider some speech and drama enrichment, or sing and dance kind of thing which promotes communication and self expression. Other than that, really - if she can speak well at home, don't be too worried.

 

[moorspa7]

Totally agreed with frogprincess. My son is like that, he is very quiet in k1 for the whole year. This year, he opens up and become a different person. Everybody is different, some people don't open up to others easily even in school while some adapts to the environment easily. It is all up to a person's personality. I was not worried when the teachers tell me he is quiet and don't speak up much, even if he does, he speaks too softly but he is completely a different person when at home. Like what frogprincess mentioned, I even thought of speech and drama classes esp for my daughter as she doesn't talk much during kindergarten years, now in P2, she is much better. Encouragement helps, and kids change as they grow older.

 

[vera_vera]

Sometimes, have to check with the teacher abt their behavior in school eg.. Only talk to certain people, or they play parallel (they seem to be playing in the group but infact they are not engaging in the communication or active)... Tis have the risk of begin SELECTIVE MUTISM. Some kids are very shy. They not dare to talk to others so have to coach them how to enage with other kids. Can help them build their confident. The kids can be too young also.

 

[Lambi]

strawberry
i encountered 2 children b4 whom i had the privilege to work with who had selective mutism, coupled with shyness and anxiety- cos sometimes the noise/activity level in the preschool can be pretty overwhelming for some children. Thing is to work with the teacher and find out who your girl is close to in class & encourage them to play/partner together. Also check if the teacher has some quiet corners or some quiet activities during the class time? This can be beneficial to your child, might lessen her anxiety level and over time, being less tensed, im sure your child will speak up. But another thing also is that children develop differently at different rate, give her time to grow emotionally and socially..

One of them took abt 1 year+ to overcome that, and she was 4years old then, eventually she started speaking up really softly at 5yrs...takes time but much encouragements and effort by both home and school helps.

 

[strawberrypink82]

Vera,

Weird thing is if with the whole group she will like do work and actions together. If the english teach pick her individually to ask her questions she will not speak at all. And she only speak to chinese teacher whenever the teacher call upon her.

You mentioned about the selective mutism, i dun think she is cos she is still taking instructions from teacher to do her work as per normal and if there is anything she cannot do she will stare at the teacher. I am sure she still engaged in listening to the teachers as when i ask some phonics and number she can read out for me.

I am really worried and i even went to Fei yue for counseling myself to see how i can help her to boost her confidence level in speaking to the teacher. I also see that she only speak to chinese teachers.

 

[vera_vera]

Hi strawberry,
I can understand how u feel and worry abt ur gal. Cos I had experience with my kid b4 and took me a hard time to find out what wrong. How is she doing at home, I mean when u talk to her and she reply or she is talkative at home? Some kids are too shy, insecure, wanted to be prefect... Kid have their individual character and development pace, they are all different so they come with different problem. So sometime if she is too shy then have to create opportunity for her. If she has problem to express what she wants then have to work alternative. In the past I have to create oppt for my kid.

 

[vera_vera]

Sorry, do you talk to her in Chinese at home or English at home? Is her peers English speaking or more chinese speaking?

 

[strawberrypink82]

Hi Vera,

She is able to talk well at home and can even talk back to me. I can see she is not those having problem to express herself one.

Perhaps she just dun have the confidence to speak to the teacher in English as we mainly speak mandarin at home. And i only speak to her occassionally in english. Starting this week i just swope to speaking english at home with her and i can see her replying me in mandarin and only after a while then she start to talk to me in english.

 

[moorspa7]

Strawberry,

My kids hv difficulty in expressing themselves in English, as we speak Mandarin at home. I always hear the same comments from English teacher abt my kids not able to express themselves well. However, I hear praises from Chinese teachers abt them, as they are more comfortable with Chinese. I speak English more frequently now to brush up their English. Reading books to yr child also helps. I think yr gal lacks confidence in expressing herself in English, thus she prefer to speak to Chinese teachers. It is more of her confidence level. My kids also pick up English through their English speaking friends. Yr gal is still very young, she'll become more confident when her English improves. Just focus on brushing up her English.

 

[vera_vera]

Hi strawberry,

Tis is what I did for my girl. Start with story with very little words so she not so scare of seeing them. Dont have to start on the 1st page, let her decide where she wanted to start. Is more talking abt the story and train her to listen. Then I go indepth to 'wh' question on the story as to encourage her to talk and express in English. Cos she needs to understand the question then she can answer u. Cos kids at her age still very depend on visual and pics. Start with pic so she can understand what u talking abt so pick the right story book. U can even take pics of her when u go family outing and ask her abt the events. So tis can help her relate the scene and get her interested in English. Language start with listening, reading and writing. One step at a time, dun rush.

 

[strawberrypink82]

Moorspa,
Thanks for your advise.

Vera,
She is now more "willing" to listen to bedtime stories. As every night i will tell my son and she will like take a book and act like a teacher to tell story too. Lately she is able to listen to my story for a few minutes then distracted again to be her own teacher.