After ttc for two years and gaining around 8 kg in the process, I can totally understand how all of us here feel. I'm at the tww now. When I feel nothing no symptoms, I'm stressed, when I feel menses kind of cramp, I'm stressed too, worried that AF is coming. 患得患失..
Life as a woman really is not easy. I stare at my fats and big tummy, wondering if there is anything inside. And I looked at all the pretty clothes which I can no longer wear in despair. I told myself I will start running(i loved that, but had to stop due to stupid tcm advise during each tcc and tww period, then after it's just so hard to start running again after a stop of a few weeks each time ) and lose all the weight after I finally get pregnant and give birth. But when will that be? I know I won't be fat forever. I have faith in myself. But this is truly a tough period in my life. It doesn't help when people stared at me saying wow you have gained weight! You look prettier last time.etc etc. I wish I could slap all of them, but I will just smiled and roll my eyes in my heart.
Now that I'm at the first cycle of ivf. I am feeling v stressed too especially when a lot of people at work know I am doing this. I had no choice but to tell them that I am going for ivf as I have to pass work to them, arrange for leave etc. It's not that easy taking leave at my line of work. But I don't care about them to be honest. To have a family with kids is very important to me. Now I am very sian cuz these people will definitely ask me if I'm preggie when I get back. How should I ans them? If it's a positive I can't say when it's less than 3 months. If it's negative, how can I control my tears? And it doesn't help when I know most of these people at work isn't genuine. They are just asking for the sake of asking. Almost like a conversation starter and their agenda is just to ask me to complete my work. Even when I'm on leave.