Any mummies STRESS in work & family? How to Decompression???
- Thread starter erineting
- Start date
Hi all, here's what I do:
1. Write down 3 things that I am grateful for daily. It just helps me to refocus on what is going well.
2. Spend at least 30minutes - 1hr on myself everyday. I don't care when this happens, even if its 3am like now, but it has to happen!
3. Excercise daily. The endorphin rush is fantastic.
4. Make a date to meet girlfriends every month - gives me something to look forward to when deadlines are coming up and the kids are driving me up the wall
What do you guys do?
1. Write down 3 things that I am grateful for daily. It just helps me to refocus on what is going well.
2. Spend at least 30minutes - 1hr on myself everyday. I don't care when this happens, even if its 3am like now, but it has to happen!
3. Excercise daily. The endorphin rush is fantastic.
4. Make a date to meet girlfriends every month - gives me something to look forward to when deadlines are coming up and the kids are driving me up the wall
What do you guys do?
unnakb
Member
Hi erineting
below is my few cents...
Find the cause for your stress. Listdown your commitments and prioritise them. Sometimes, you need to delegate your work to others - colleagues or friends or family members.
Some stress relievers:
1. Have a nightout with your hubby (movie, dinner, and sex).
2. Shopping (even if its window shopping
)
3. Meditation (this is not a religious chore)
below is my few cents...
Find the cause for your stress. Listdown your commitments and prioritise them. Sometimes, you need to delegate your work to others - colleagues or friends or family members.
Some stress relievers:
1. Have a nightout with your hubby (movie, dinner, and sex).
2. Shopping (even if its window shopping
) 3. Meditation (this is not a religious chore)
tempo4me
Member
Try to get some ME time. Me and my hubby make it a point to sometimes take leave and then send children to childcare so we can have COUPLE time too.
It is good that you plan for a reliable and regular baby sitter so that if you were to have an impromptu date with hubby or just spending time by yourself to do the things you wanted, there will be people taking care of kids.
OR do the extreme and quit your job to do the things you wanted for a few months, let your mind re-organize before heading back to work.
It is good that you plan for a reliable and regular baby sitter so that if you were to have an impromptu date with hubby or just spending time by yourself to do the things you wanted, there will be people taking care of kids.
OR do the extreme and quit your job to do the things you wanted for a few months, let your mind re-organize before heading back to work.
Totally agree with Grace! ME time and US time is very important for maintaining the mommies' sanity, and the spark in our relationship! Not too long ago, DH and I took half day off - started with a buffet, and then watched a movie. So nice! And even more recently, we tricked the kids to sleep at 8pm then left the maid in charge, and we went out for a 9pm show.
On a daily basis, it is important to prioritise, and try not to be that super woman! I subscribe to Gina Ford's routine for the children, waking up early and going to bed early 7 - 8pm. This works very well, because we could either have an early dinner with them, or have a late dinner without them. Once they are in bed, the house is in peace and we can do some cleaning, washing, or things like watching the news, reading, or catching up on work emails.
On a daily basis, it is important to prioritise, and try not to be that super woman! I subscribe to Gina Ford's routine for the children, waking up early and going to bed early 7 - 8pm. This works very well, because we could either have an early dinner with them, or have a late dinner without them. Once they are in bed, the house is in peace and we can do some cleaning, washing, or things like watching the news, reading, or catching up on work emails.
Sigh..I had a great routine when it was just one kid, early wake up and sleep times. By 8pm I could do my own thing, but NOW with two of them..oh goodness..it's a zoo. Out of curiosity, how much one on one time do you spend with your kids daily? I always feel like its not enough! Am I just stressing too much?
tempo4me
Member
My one on one time with my kids? Very little. I usually just cuddle with them when they are going to bed or when they wakes up.
The rest of the time, my elder one like to play all by herself while I check on her occasionally. If she wants attention, she will come and find me. Every since she turn 2, she hardly wants her mummy anymore Cos I keep asking her if she wants to sleep.
My younger one always have to sleep. Since he is nearly 10 months, I let him play with his sister for 2 hours then sleep, wake up to eat or drink milk, then play again then sleep etc.
Looking at such schedule, I don't think there's much one on one time actually... LOL
The rest of the time, my elder one like to play all by herself while I check on her occasionally. If she wants attention, she will come and find me. Every since she turn 2, she hardly wants her mummy anymore
Cos I keep asking her if she wants to sleep. My younger one always have to sleep.
Since he is nearly 10 months, I let him play with his sister for 2 hours then sleep, wake up to eat or drink milk, then play again then sleep etc. Looking at such schedule, I don't think there's much one on one time actually... LOL
How about picking up a hobby? I love reading, gardening, cooking, and baking. So after the kids goto bed, I will pick up a book and read. Sometimes, I bake a cake. On weekends, when they take their afternoon nap, I will catch up on gardening. Sometimes my daughter helps me to bake cookies. My son helps to eat them.
ginger_lily
Member
Think positive
My hubby & I do housework together to de-stress (after the kids are asleep). Doing housework together is also a form of couple-time for us.
Unfortunately, not as fortunate as some mummies here who can go for late-night movies etc. Bbysitter works only till 7pm & only on weekdays, no maid, parents not around already, in-laws too old, siblings stay too far away... so everything we have to handle ourselves.
Now preggie with 3rd one. And I am stressed out by the thought of going through all the child labour, feeding, sleepness nights etc + work. Many pple tell me to quit my job & look after the kids so no more stress from work, but worried if this would be more stress. Also financially will be tight ...
Sigh...
Unfortunately, not as fortunate as some mummies here who can go for late-night movies etc. Bbysitter works only till 7pm & only on weekdays, no maid, parents not around already, in-laws too old, siblings stay too far away... so everything we have to handle ourselves.
Now preggie with 3rd one. And I am stressed out by the thought of going through all the child labour, feeding, sleepness nights etc + work. Many pple tell me to quit my job & look after the kids so no more stress from work, but worried if this would be more stress. Also financially will be tight ...
Sigh...
hi moon
does it mean your nanny look after your 1st 2 kids currently?
my 1st and 2nd with parents and 3rd bb with nanny(parents and nanny stay miles apart). so we take turns to bring our three offsprings home.
i prefer to work to earn my own $, more fuifilling. more stress if i have to deal with kids at home the whole day. unless nobody looks after my kids then have to quit lah.
it can be very frustrating having to look after the bb and no time to take afternoon nap. still got to do housework. now i sleep an hr less after i have this bb. so wat i do? a cup of tea helps b4 i begin my busy day morale booster
does it mean your nanny look after your 1st 2 kids currently?
my 1st and 2nd with parents and 3rd bb with nanny(parents and nanny stay miles apart). so we take turns to bring our three offsprings home.
i prefer to work to earn my own $, more fuifilling. more stress if i have to deal with kids at home the whole day. unless nobody looks after my kids then have to quit lah.
it can be very frustrating having to look after the bb and no time to take afternoon nap. still got to do housework. now i sleep an hr less after i have this bb. so wat i do? a cup of tea helps b4 i begin my busy day
morale boosterHi dreamer,
I envy u. U still have ur parents to help out. Yes, my nanny now look after my 1st 2 kids. Luckily, my #1 going P1 next year and will be at school most of the time, so effectively, the nanny will only be looking after my #2 and baby then. But then, nanny oso getting old...
Just like u, I oso prefer to maintain financial independence and not depend on hubby for small luxuries. More importantly, I am afraid of more stress if I have to deal with the kids the whole day. As it is, they already drive me crazy on weekends.
I am keeping my fingers crossed. Let's see how things goes...
I envy u. U still have ur parents to help out. Yes, my nanny now look after my 1st 2 kids. Luckily, my #1 going P1 next year and will be at school most of the time, so effectively, the nanny will only be looking after my #2 and baby then. But then, nanny oso getting old...
Just like u, I oso prefer to maintain financial independence and not depend on hubby for small luxuries. More importantly, I am afraid of more stress if I have to deal with the kids the whole day. As it is, they already drive me crazy on weekends.
I am keeping my fingers crossed. Let's see how things goes...
tempo4me
Member
Actually really depends. I however would like to quit to take care of my kids.
Seeing them grow is far more fulfilling to me than having completed my projects on time with value added.
But I do agree that it is a lot more stressful to be a housewife than to work. Sleep will be a luxury to housewives. But like my husband always say "It all depends if you want to let go or not."
I see mothers with 3 kids under 5yo and still managed the time to make very beautiful bentos for her kids and no maid too. I am really impressed with those mothers.
Seeing them grow is far more fulfilling to me than having completed my projects on time with value added.
But I do agree that it is a lot more stressful to be a housewife than to work. Sleep will be a luxury to housewives. But like my husband always say "It all depends if you want to let go or not."
I see mothers with 3 kids under 5yo and still managed the time to make very beautiful bentos for her kids and no maid too. I am really impressed with those mothers.
Hi. For me, I was balancing between work and 2 young kids. Got to a pt too much to bear and broke down.
But luckily went for counselling at kkh. Helps lots. Also went for parenting workshops to see how I can make parenting easier. The workshops offered by Focus on the Family is good.
But luckily went for counselling at kkh. Helps lots. Also went for parenting workshops to see how I can make parenting easier. The workshops offered by Focus on the Family is good.