Advice needed - Loss of mood

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by tilafila, Oct 23, 2009.

  1. tilafila

    tilafila Member

    I'm quite embrassed to share my problem but not sure whether anyone facing similar problem as me.

    After giving birth to my first child thru normal delivery with epidural, I have loss my sexual moods and find it difficult to bond with my hubby.

    I have read that massages are able to help but not sure to what extend.

    Has anyone ever experienced sure problem and shed some light on how I can resolve it. Thanks
  2. maesiew

    maesiew New Member

    Me too same here as after birth, already very tired after taking care of baby that's y no mood as till now 15tmths later still feel discomfort having sex... Will need more foulplay!
  3. tilafila

    tilafila Member

    I'm just afraid that if i don't resolve my problem that my hubby might stray.
  4. dancelover

    dancelover New Member

    Tila, Did ur hubby complain anything regarding this? I am 34 wks preggy now and have loss the mood to do it since my 18 wk preggy. i have caught my hb watching porn to satisfy himself and m very sad to see this. Told him that I dun like him to watch porn but he still does it. sigh.
  5. angelz88

    angelz88 New Member

    Hi Tila,

    It is true that during and after pregnancy, sex drive will be affected. Some may go higher while some may go lower. It is good that you know there is a possibility that if hubby dun get sexually satisfied, there's a possibility that he will find other ways to release. However, it also does not mean that we as wives gotta give in to hubby where sex needs are concern. Communicate with him about your low sex drive and let him know that you are working on it. As for yourself, get help for the baby and mentally prepare yourself to have a good session with hubby once in a while. I am sure hubby will appreciate your efforts.
  6. tilafila

    tilafila Member

    Hi Chongsharon,

    I have spoken to my hubby about my problem but I would say he's just selfish. He asked me to solve my problem myself. I feel that he's more keen in satisfying himself. We use to have active sexual life but now with the kids around its affected.
  7. angelz88

    angelz88 New Member

    Hi Tila,

    I have delivered my third one 9 months ago. And I am also having low sex drive as compared to before. But I keep telling myself I have to try to work on it. We women know whats the issue: Housework and new born stress, hubby not caring enough, no mood for such pleasure etc etc. Well since you have spoken to hubby about it, try to spice things up yourself. At least you have tried communicating to hubby about it, and he knows, if he don't care, its a different story.

    What I did was I try to have sexual thoughts about an hour before bed time alone. And try not to let baby or household chores affect my mood during the one hour (I know its hard but try it, it may not work everytime but it did work!). You will find that sometimes sexual toys or videos helps to set you inthe mood (that is if you do not have religion bindings). I do not encourage overuse of sexual toys or videos, it should only be used to arouse you and improve your intimacy with hubby. For me I do not use sexual toys, but I will browse some pictures on the net a few minutes to get myself arouse, then off the internet, go look for hubby. You will find that each time it gets easier to increase sex drive. Now I have average sex drive normally, without any assistance.
  8. khijoanne

    khijoanne Member

    me too after delivery no interest in sex at all... thank goodness my hubby has low sex drive too. hes more interested in football and playing mj online. My bb is 8 mths old now and i think we've had sex less thn 10 times.
  9. jos83

    jos83 Member

    hmm... my sex drive is oso affected after giving birth(baby is 11mths)....but i learnt that in order to get me into the mood, i have to watch porn!!! i koe u ladies must b thinking im crazy...but it realy does help. n if u watch w hubby together....will getthe mood going... TRY it.
  10. pepa12345

    pepa12345 New Member

    from a mom who has 2 kids, age 6 and age 1.

    sometimes it's both ways. eg, do something special for yourself, go for a nice massage or pedicure etc, and wear something pretty. when we feel confident your hubby will notice it. my husband is rather turned on by me doing the pretty things like painting my nails etc and it will get him sexed up when i text him "try ripping clothing tonight" when he's at work. of cos i know how it feels to be fat after birth and especially when hubby watches porn. i've felt the same and hubby watches too, but i pretend i dunno sometimes and occasionally i'll say "watch together" and get ourselves all laughing and giggly over the stunts. he doesn't see the fatty tummy or thighs anymore if you play the other parts up like shoulder or neck or whatever... if you feel sexy he will feel that you are too..

    try it. some things cut both ways. you do your part and he does his part, hopefully.

    sex is to be enjoyed, not forced upon.

    just my 2c, please do not scold me if you do not agree. :)
  11. huihui82

    huihui82 New Member

    I do have loss of mood when im having period.. haha..
  12. assamjam

    assamjam Member

    Wear a sexy shapier apparel for both you and hubby. I can recommend this product apparel to you to test fit, pls pm me to meet up.

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