35 & above, AND STill TTC-ing
- Thread starter volf20
- Start date
hi i am not 35 yet. but soon. I am coming 34 this year and is seriously thinking whether I should start TTC soon. the problem is my son is merely 1 yr old. And its not easy looking after him. He is a hyper baby. Already felt soooo tired looking after him. Wondering how to handle no. 2. however, I dun wanna regret in future too.
Any advise? Appreciate much
Any advise? Appreciate much
I suppose if you plan to have ano kid sooner or later, why not start now. Sometimes things don't happen when you want them to.
I suppose it IS v tiring now. But frens who have 2 or more always tell me they 'suffer' for the kid's sake .... so that the 1 kid does not get lonely...
hi rianne,
think u should start now too...never have regrets in future..
I have a niece who is the only child..though she is only 5 years old..her character seems to very self centred, domineering, demanding. I didn;t meant all are like this..
But we tend to give everything we can for the only child..in turn forget how to nuture her character.
think u should start now too...never have regrets in future..
I have a niece who is the only child..though she is only 5 years old..her character seems to very self centred, domineering, demanding. I didn;t meant all are like this..
But we tend to give everything we can for the only child..in turn forget how to nuture her character.
jas - for me, i tot its more for company sake? and you know.. having siblings. imagine next time when me and hubby are gone, at least they have each other whom they can call VERY immediate family?
ruffles - the thought of the 9mths of worries, the thought of the long months of expressing milk, waking up every 3hrly to feed/express... but you are right. doesn't mean I want, will have. my 1st kiddo took about 1 yr with 2 prior chemical misc....thats another fear I have.. having gone thru 2 chemicals misc.. heartbreaking
ruffles - the thought of the 9mths of worries, the thought of the long months of expressing milk, waking up every 3hrly to feed/express... but you are right. doesn't mean I want, will have. my 1st kiddo took about 1 yr with 2 prior chemical misc....thats another fear I have.. having gone thru 2 chemicals misc.. heartbreaking
winnie_the_pooh_mummy
New Member
hi, im 40 with a son. do u think it is risky to try for another baby? we are happy with one, but we are afraid he might be lonely next time when we are gone. also worried about not having a normal child bec of my age........am i normal in my thinking?
Hi! Let's not worry about the age. Dun let age be your hindrance. There is always miracle. I read a book on Supernatural Chilbirth. This lady has been diagnosed by doctors (many) that she will NOT be able to have babies cos of her complicated problems. But she chose not to believe it and trusting GOD to her deliverance.
And guess what? She is happily married with four healthy kids!!
Sorry i am not trying to do any preaching here. But believing positively really do helps alot! Dun let doctors give a stamp in your life!
Zoe tay also 40 years old liao! She can why not you, winnie? There are alot of good examples. Dun search for the bad ones...
Jia you!
And guess what? She is happily married with four healthy kids!!
Sorry i am not trying to do any preaching here. But believing positively really do helps alot! Dun let doctors give a stamp in your life!
Zoe tay also 40 years old liao! She can why not you, winnie? There are alot of good examples. Dun search for the bad ones...
Jia you!
Jas - thanks for reminding us to be so positive! A very sweet fren of mine gave me this book - God's Plan for Pregnancy by Nerida Walker. I read only a few chapters, and realise that sometimes we pray without faith. Prayers without faith will get us no where. I suppose there are times we feel down and all .. but as long as we trust, miracles happen!
Do you have a kid? I lost my boy at 5.5mths in Feb 06, and have been trying since.
Do you have a kid? I lost my boy at 5.5mths in Feb 06, and have been trying since.
papadarappa
New Member
my wife gave birth when she was 37. both my baby and wife are healthy.
Hi, I'm 35. I've a 6 yr old son. I had tried for a year before i got pregnant in early Jan this year. But I had a miscarriage in February 08. I was in my 8th weeks of pregnancy. But baby stopped growing and no heartbeat.
So now i am trying to heal my health back before i start TTC again.
So now i am trying to heal my health back before i start TTC again.
Hi
I'm 40 years old. Had twin girls via IVF last year, and both in good health. However, had to be in bed for 10 weeks and babies born prematurely. But it's all worth the wait and try.
Don't let age be the hindrance. It is only a number. What matters is your heart and soul for the love of babies.
All the best!
I'm 40 years old. Had twin girls via IVF last year, and both in good health. However, had to be in bed for 10 weeks and babies born prematurely. But it's all worth the wait and try.
Don't let age be the hindrance. It is only a number. What matters is your heart and soul for the love of babies.
All the best!
Hi
I am 35 this year. I have a 21mths old girl. I have been trying for 2nd bb since 4Q 07. My gynae ask me to try for a year & see him if still unsuccessful.
My 1st pregnancy was in Jul05 & had a miscarriage at 8th week, heartbeat stopped. My gynae assured me to TTC after my menses is normal after the miscarriage. I tried 4mths & was pregnant again in Dec05.
However this time round, it doesnt seem easy to conceive.. Maybe it is due to work stress, or maybe my body is more tired nowadays as my gal is very active & wants our attention.
The reason for me to try for 2nd bb is that I wish to give my gal a companion. Each day I watch her growing up with new surprises, each time I wish to give her a little bro or sis.. I am also afraid time is running out due to age.
Recently I turn to TCM again. Hope that I can tiao2 my body better & succceed.
I am 35 this year. I have a 21mths old girl. I have been trying for 2nd bb since 4Q 07. My gynae ask me to try for a year & see him if still unsuccessful.
My 1st pregnancy was in Jul05 & had a miscarriage at 8th week, heartbeat stopped. My gynae assured me to TTC after my menses is normal after the miscarriage. I tried 4mths & was pregnant again in Dec05.
However this time round, it doesnt seem easy to conceive.. Maybe it is due to work stress, or maybe my body is more tired nowadays as my gal is very active & wants our attention.
The reason for me to try for 2nd bb is that I wish to give my gal a companion. Each day I watch her growing up with new surprises, each time I wish to give her a little bro or sis.. I am also afraid time is running out due to age.
Recently I turn to TCM again. Hope that I can tiao2 my body better & succceed.
hi,
I'm 34 this yr n hv a 4y.o son.
Last yr,we decided to try for 2nd one.We conceived after 2mth of trying but miscarriage i 7th wk,heartbeat stopped.
We didn't give up but tried again.I conceived last mth but the fetus didn't grow(1wk behind).My gynae has tried all his means to save my bb,but the heartbeat stopped.I did a DnE again last fri.
I oso wanna give my boy a companion.I don't hv prob to conceive but don't understand why i keep miscarriage.My hb is oso nt very old(late 30s).
After two m/c,we decided to on hold the TTC fr a year.Thou age is a factor we shld consider,we shouldn't let it be hindrance.Imptly is to build up our bodies.I'm oso considering TCM.
I'm 34 this yr n hv a 4y.o son.
Last yr,we decided to try for 2nd one.We conceived after 2mth of trying but miscarriage i 7th wk,heartbeat stopped.
We didn't give up but tried again.I conceived last mth but the fetus didn't grow(1wk behind).My gynae has tried all his means to save my bb,but the heartbeat stopped.I did a DnE again last fri.
I oso wanna give my boy a companion.I don't hv prob to conceive but don't understand why i keep miscarriage.My hb is oso nt very old(late 30s).
After two m/c,we decided to on hold the TTC fr a year.Thou age is a factor we shld consider,we shouldn't let it be hindrance.Imptly is to build up our bodies.I'm oso considering TCM.
pinksunnysummer
Member
Rianne,
Go for it. Got preggy again when my boy was 9mths old and he is super duper hyper and demanding. Think of it as suffering a little now but you know that it'll be worth it in the future.
Dorie,
No. 4? You are VERY brave
Go for it. Got preggy again when my boy was 9mths old and he is super duper hyper and demanding. Think of it as suffering a little now but you know that it'll be worth it in the future.
Dorie,
No. 4? You are VERY brave
mimgoh
Member
me 40 tis yr...trying 2nd BB since my son 8mths old till now he's 31mths still no results ! very upset lor !
last friday went TCM, the chinese sinseh previously worked in infertile dept in tong ji hospital told me she suspected me can't ovualate leh !!! now takg her TCM medicine n observe 2mths if still no improvement then 3rd mth gotta take clomid & tcm 2gather then can conceive .
i told her me not takg clomid as i took 2 have my 31mths old boy...clomid caused my weight from 55kg increase till 80kgs within 4yrs of takg hor !!! high risk preggie havg twins or more are veri high !
my son is elder twin (non-identical twins)..younger twin died of no heart beat btwn 1-2 trimester. I deliver them @ 8mths with many complications still I 1 2 try 2nd BB !!
my son is diagonse with hyperactive .....many pple urge me not to have another but me dun 1 my son 2 repeat my history being an only child !
last friday went TCM, the chinese sinseh previously worked in infertile dept in tong ji hospital told me she suspected me can't ovualate leh !!! now takg her TCM medicine n observe 2mths if still no improvement then 3rd mth gotta take clomid & tcm 2gather then can conceive .
i told her me not takg clomid as i took 2 have my 31mths old boy...clomid caused my weight from 55kg increase till 80kgs within 4yrs of takg hor !!! high risk preggie havg twins or more are veri high !
my son is elder twin (non-identical twins)..younger twin died of no heart beat btwn 1-2 trimester. I deliver them @ 8mths with many complications still I 1 2 try 2nd BB !!
my son is diagonse with hyperactive .....many pple urge me not to have another but me dun 1 my son 2 repeat my history being an only child !
crafty_yard
Member
My gynae say 35 is still young and not too old to try for BB. M in my mid 30s and trying for past 2yrs for 2nd BB. No luck. But i'm pressing on as i'm definitely not gonna stop at 1. I think why some mummies stop at 1 or 2 is becos they think short term, in terms of how tough in the early years. Tough as it may be, but when kids have grown and you look back, all is worth. Perhaps tink long term: sacrifice for 1st 10 years, and you enjoy many 10 years later...
I am young...(at heart hahaha).... and not young mummy, I hv a boy and a pair of twin gals. I feel I need a lot of time but as I'm working, I do not hv. Still I enjoy seeing them when I return home from work.
Whatever difficulties can be worked out....
But stimes due to being older, hv less energy but hopefully can make it by being wiser..hehe
I feel good health is an impt factor. If health is no good, wl affect the bb when carrying plus the mother will feel so weak and tired...
I dun think 35 is old but unfort. gynaes wl label that age and above as 'high risk'... hmmm.....
rianne
You say you are scared of the 9 mths, but having a child is a lifetime. Survive the 9 mths first and you wl survive the rest!
Go for it lah!
mrs lew
You carried the other twin till birth???
Must hv been v v tough on you..
Whatever difficulties can be worked out....
But stimes due to being older, hv less energy but hopefully can make it by being wiser..hehe
I feel good health is an impt factor. If health is no good, wl affect the bb when carrying plus the mother will feel so weak and tired...
I dun think 35 is old but unfort. gynaes wl label that age and above as 'high risk'... hmmm.....
rianne
You say you are scared of the 9 mths, but having a child is a lifetime. Survive the 9 mths first and you wl survive the rest!
Go for it lah!
mrs lew
You carried the other twin till birth???
Must hv been v v tough on you..
mimgoh
Member
StyloBB,
Yes, carry +1 / -1 ( u knw wat i meant ), GTT injections since 1st trimester till C-sectn day....ai yah, many complications !
very champ lah, young or old @ age, health is more impt to conceive then fetus can survive or else we as mums suffered heart breaking at the end of the day !
during my preggie, i tok to both of them even the other twin don't survive still i treated as both are in my womb.....be frank, i can't accept the fact and been depression since confinement days till now. Every nites, i look up the sky....tokg to my younger twin till i fall asleep or when days are bad, i tok till i sheard tears.......
i oso got think b4 how 2 handle elder child been diagonse with HYPERACTIVE by KKH DCD specialist and how to manage another BB ???
Mothers in 60s, can managed why can't us ?
Yes, carry +1 / -1 ( u knw wat i meant ), GTT injections since 1st trimester till C-sectn day....ai yah, many complications !
very champ lah, young or old @ age, health is more impt to conceive then fetus can survive or else we as mums suffered heart breaking at the end of the day !
during my preggie, i tok to both of them even the other twin don't survive still i treated as both are in my womb.....be frank, i can't accept the fact and been depression since confinement days till now. Every nites, i look up the sky....tokg to my younger twin till i fall asleep or when days are bad, i tok till i sheard tears.......
i oso got think b4 how 2 handle elder child been diagonse with HYPERACTIVE by KKH DCD specialist and how to manage another BB ???
Mothers in 60s, can managed why can't us ?
mimgoh
Member
styloBB,
my twins are in separate sacs.
yes, my son is gg for treatments held in outram polyclinic runs by KKH DCD....each therapy is not CHEAP as he's cataglorised as B1 Pte rate charging and the waiting list SUCKS !! me paying pte rate but q-ing like subsidy patients' rate ! even my son's principal & KKH DCD specialists also very annoyed the way they treated my son !
my twins are in separate sacs.
yes, my son is gg for treatments held in outram polyclinic runs by KKH DCD....each therapy is not CHEAP as he's cataglorised as B1 Pte rate charging and the waiting list SUCKS !! me paying pte rate but q-ing like subsidy patients' rate ! even my son's principal & KKH DCD specialists also very annoyed the way they treated my son !
mimgoh
Member
styloBB,
there's 1-2mums in tis forum more brave than me as one mum had 3kids all passed away (me read her blog and shed tears thru out which all readers too !) the other mum too also has the same fate too !
Seeing there kids arrived in this world for a few days / months and mine died inside with all fetus formed also in depressions .......
nothing 2 b sorry lah !! it's fate lor !
my son conditions always UP n DOWN ....... rate 1st visit @ S$ 150++ for consultations, 1st appt therapy visit @ S$ 70 then the therapist strongly recommended taking up package @ fixed price monthly....me no take up coz' so far the occupational therapy doesn't seem helpful !
other mum in tis forum recommended me another pte practice, currently having long break ...will try when they resume operations. The location in Kovan, me in Simei (no car license, gotta take taxi there then train home)! Pte practice charges the same as wat i pay in KKH DCD as pte rate as i deliver in B1 class @ KKH !
me not brave coz' me can't handle & coop with depressions !!
there's 1-2mums in tis forum more brave than me as one mum had 3kids all passed away (me read her blog and shed tears thru out which all readers too !) the other mum too also has the same fate too !
Seeing there kids arrived in this world for a few days / months and mine died inside with all fetus formed also in depressions .......
nothing 2 b sorry lah !! it's fate lor !
my son conditions always UP n DOWN ....... rate 1st visit @ S$ 150++ for consultations, 1st appt therapy visit @ S$ 70 then the therapist strongly recommended taking up package @ fixed price monthly....me no take up coz' so far the occupational therapy doesn't seem helpful !
other mum in tis forum recommended me another pte practice, currently having long break ...will try when they resume operations. The location in Kovan, me in Simei (no car license, gotta take taxi there then train home)! Pte practice charges the same as wat i pay in KKH DCD as pte rate as i deliver in B1 class @ KKH !
me not brave coz' me can't handle & coop with depressions !!
natnic
Member
Hi all, had the opportunity to read this thread. I am 36 this Jan and expecting a 3rd baby this Aug. Had my first gal 'fairly young' (for this generation) at 28YO (end 2002) with the 2nd princess arriving abt 38mths later in 2006.
Till-date, I still can't figure out why I had my first child beyond "think it is abt time". However, I wanted the 2nd child for the sake of the older gal so that she will have a companion. I actually tried a while, think abt 6mths before I was finally preg the second time round.
As the younger girl grew up and became more independent, we (ok... mostly me) started to think how nice it would to hold a baby in my arms again. So contrary to what people around me think, I did not try for a 3rd one b'coz I wanted a boy.
In any case, I was quite lucky coz I hit "jackpot" the first time we tried. But I am actually more afraid of the possible preg complications this time round. This 3rd preg is really a lot more tiring and stressful. But in particular, I am worried most of having a Downs Syndrome child. Not just because of my maternal age but because there was a Downs child born to DH's family. Just done OSCAR at TMC and was assessed to be normal. I am not sure if I should take the amniocentisis tests because of the risk of miscarriage and fear of that BIG LONG needle. Then on the other hand, I really worry that I may not cope if the child is really born with Downs.
I am afraid I am not so noble as to think that all children are "equal" for I have seen for myself how having such a child is a challenge for the WHOLE family and how it caused hardship for his siblings...
sigh... still contemplating.... any mummy did the amnio test? Painful or not?
Till-date, I still can't figure out why I had my first child beyond "think it is abt time". However, I wanted the 2nd child for the sake of the older gal so that she will have a companion. I actually tried a while, think abt 6mths before I was finally preg the second time round.
As the younger girl grew up and became more independent, we (ok... mostly me) started to think how nice it would to hold a baby in my arms again. So contrary to what people around me think, I did not try for a 3rd one b'coz I wanted a boy.
In any case, I was quite lucky coz I hit "jackpot" the first time we tried. But I am actually more afraid of the possible preg complications this time round. This 3rd preg is really a lot more tiring and stressful. But in particular, I am worried most of having a Downs Syndrome child. Not just because of my maternal age but because there was a Downs child born to DH's family. Just done OSCAR at TMC and was assessed to be normal. I am not sure if I should take the amniocentisis tests because of the risk of miscarriage and fear of that BIG LONG needle. Then on the other hand, I really worry that I may not cope if the child is really born with Downs.
I am afraid I am not so noble as to think that all children are "equal" for I have seen for myself how having such a child is a challenge for the WHOLE family and how it caused hardship for his siblings...
sigh... still contemplating.... any mummy did the amnio test? Painful or not?
mimgoh
Member
nat&Nic,
I did my amino test with my +1 / -1 twins @ KKH ....
U can't laugh nor move lor ..... to me it's painful coz' the needle is BIG and THICK ! The gynae who did the test is specialist for multi-preggies so he taught me how to relax still me failed ! I screamed as he poked the needle into my tummy, can feel the needle went into the tummy liao .......
after the test, gotta rest for at least 30mins then can move ard....my gf's did her test @ TMC, her water bag leaks ! Heng, her gal managed to deliver @ 37weeks, now age 6 liao ! Though she rested for more than 45mins still she dun understand Y her water bag leaks lor ??? me rested for almost 60mins coz' me kia c lor....alrdy my twins ( +1 / -1 ) liao so can't afford to have lost all !
whether yr child is normal or special still gotta have patience ..... dun be like me, can't handle my son well !
I did my amino test with my +1 / -1 twins @ KKH ....
U can't laugh nor move lor ..... to me it's painful coz' the needle is BIG and THICK ! The gynae who did the test is specialist for multi-preggies so he taught me how to relax still me failed ! I screamed as he poked the needle into my tummy, can feel the needle went into the tummy liao .......
after the test, gotta rest for at least 30mins then can move ard....my gf's did her test @ TMC, her water bag leaks ! Heng, her gal managed to deliver @ 37weeks, now age 6 liao ! Though she rested for more than 45mins still she dun understand Y her water bag leaks lor ??? me rested for almost 60mins coz' me kia c lor....alrdy my twins ( +1 / -1 ) liao so can't afford to have lost all !
whether yr child is normal or special still gotta have patience ..... dun be like me, can't handle my son well !
Hi Nat&Nic,
I did my amino test when i was only 20 when i had my girl. It's painful and yes i agree with Mrs Lew it's big and thick and LONG! damn painful but the pain is worth. WHY? to know that your baby is safe and sound.
Imagine i am so young my doc asked me to do that test? So dun worry. Some of my friends who are in the late 30s did not do the test. Your doc cannot force you to do.. but for your own baby you will think twice if you wish to do it.
All the best... so happy to hear all of you going to have Babies. Work hard Babes..
Cheers
I did my amino test when i was only 20 when i had my girl. It's painful and yes i agree with Mrs Lew it's big and thick and LONG! damn painful but the pain is worth. WHY? to know that your baby is safe and sound.
Imagine i am so young my doc asked me to do that test? So dun worry. Some of my friends who are in the late 30s did not do the test. Your doc cannot force you to do.. but for your own baby you will think twice if you wish to do it.
All the best... so happy to hear all of you going to have Babies. Work hard Babes..
Cheers
kaitlynangelica
New Member
pinky devil,
So what even if you know your baby has got down's? You can't do anything to reverse that right? Then the question is what do you want to do after that?
So what even if you know your baby has got down's? You can't do anything to reverse that right? Then the question is what do you want to do after that?
princessmw
New Member
I have 2 already but loves children although all the hard work but the thing is my hubby over to gamble. So I got to stop at 2 ... really envy those have 3 or 4 kids. sign ...
on the topic of amnio, I was high risk for a DS baby. I was 29 at EDD, and triple screen test result was poor. I didn't opt for amnio cos I didn't know what to do if really downs. I just got myself mentally prepared and prayed for the best. Thank God, my baby was born last year, normal... He is 7.5 months now.
I agree that the important question is what to do if amnio results are bad.
Also bear in mind that amnio has a slim chance of miscarriage. though slim, it's still a real chance.
I agree that the important question is what to do if amnio results are bad.
Also bear in mind that amnio has a slim chance of miscarriage. though slim, it's still a real chance.
natnic
Member
Thanks for all the comments on the amino, I think I will not take it since my OSCAR (think it's same or similar to the triple screen test) is within normal range. If the OSCAR result was even slightly out of the normal range, I probly will take the amnio.
And if the amnio result showed that the child is Downs, even though my heart is reluctant, I think my head will win on whether to terminiate...
Am I selfish in not wanting to give birth and take care of the child if he or she is not normal?
May be. May be not.
With the test results, I am given a choice to decide what is better for the whole family, not just myself. Family situation is currently comfortable - we are not rich but neither are we poor. But who is to say what will happen in the future?
A child who requires special attention demand sacrifice from all parties in almost all aspects of life. No one's future is guarantee but for my existing children, I am committed to give them the best I can. As with any new baby, attention is diverted from the older children. But it'll be temporary. But for a special child, it may be decades of devoted attention. Will it be fair to the "normal" children?
Thus, I think it wld be more selfish to insist on giving birth to a Downs child for the sake of principles.
The above is my personal thoughts. No offence to pro-life mummies.
To each her own
And if the amnio result showed that the child is Downs, even though my heart is reluctant, I think my head will win on whether to terminiate...
Am I selfish in not wanting to give birth and take care of the child if he or she is not normal?
May be. May be not.
With the test results, I am given a choice to decide what is better for the whole family, not just myself. Family situation is currently comfortable - we are not rich but neither are we poor. But who is to say what will happen in the future?
A child who requires special attention demand sacrifice from all parties in almost all aspects of life. No one's future is guarantee but for my existing children, I am committed to give them the best I can. As with any new baby, attention is diverted from the older children. But it'll be temporary. But for a special child, it may be decades of devoted attention. Will it be fair to the "normal" children?
Thus, I think it wld be more selfish to insist on giving birth to a Downs child for the sake of principles.
The above is my personal thoughts. No offence to pro-life mummies.
To each her own
hi everyone
i'm gonna be 35 this year. My little princess has just turned 1yr old. Me too pondering if i shd try for #2. I know it's not always, try and will have. But i'm worried my gal will not have any family when Mommy & Daddy is gone from this world. Cos, i got 3 elder sisters, all married but no kids. So she wont even have cousins. Hubby side, got only one younger brother. Not married yet, but i heard the gf like not keen on kids. But i'm fearful cos seriously, my gal was a VERY fussy baby. She was colicky, had reflux, and becos she was on TBF, nursed very often for comfort. My back is killing me now. I dread to think of going thru it all over again, the sleepless nights, not that i sleep very well now, but it was worse during newborn days. A lot of people say i think too much...but i'd also worry how to handle a newborn AND my current demanding princess. Becos she was TBF, her emotional bond with me is VERY strong. She accepts no one but me to nurse her to sleep, carry her, etc
The other reason i'm hesitating is becos i would want to focus on her. I dote on her a lot, and i think by rushing to have #2 just becos of my age, is a bit unfair to her. Needless to say, once got #2, newborn needs will take priority. I'm worried i wont have enough time spend on my princess.
Sigh.
i'm gonna be 35 this year. My little princess has just turned 1yr old. Me too pondering if i shd try for #2. I know it's not always, try and will have. But i'm worried my gal will not have any family when Mommy & Daddy is gone from this world. Cos, i got 3 elder sisters, all married but no kids. So she wont even have cousins. Hubby side, got only one younger brother. Not married yet, but i heard the gf like not keen on kids. But i'm fearful cos seriously, my gal was a VERY fussy baby. She was colicky, had reflux, and becos she was on TBF, nursed very often for comfort. My back is killing me now. I dread to think of going thru it all over again, the sleepless nights, not that i sleep very well now, but it was worse during newborn days. A lot of people say i think too much...but i'd also worry how to handle a newborn AND my current demanding princess. Becos she was TBF, her emotional bond with me is VERY strong. She accepts no one but me to nurse her to sleep, carry her, etc
The other reason i'm hesitating is becos i would want to focus on her. I dote on her a lot, and i think by rushing to have #2 just becos of my age, is a bit unfair to her. Needless to say, once got #2, newborn needs will take priority. I'm worried i wont have enough time spend on my princess.
Sigh.
natnic
Member
Hi mylife,
Think there's never a" best" time and it all depends on family circumstances, e.g. if you have helper, in-laws on hand etc.
There are pros and cons to having a smaller gap between kids or a wider one. For me, my two gals are abt 3yrs apart. The good thing is that the older child is more independent when the baby came. So less worry abt walking unsteadily, can eat on her own (when she felts like it!) and can play by herself some of the time. Which is helpful when I have to handle them alone when husband not around (no maid) But sibling jealousy quite strong coz she knew and remembered the time she was the queen of the house - I remembered how a relative told me she asked her why mummy and daddy can't just have her! Having said that, my older gal does love her sister. There was a time she would trail visitors who carry the baby for fear that they will bring her (baby) home.
From what I see of a fren whose two boys are 12 mths apart (second one was an "accident"), tough for her in the beginning having to take care of two babies. The family stayed at home most of the time then coz it was a handful to bring both out. And when they do, they leave one a home with in-laws. Sure the boys fight but from what I can see, they exhibit slightly less sibling jealousy, may be because they do not remember a time when the other is not around. And now that the boys are older, they are having a much easier time - so there is some truth in the old saying that enjoyment comes after the tough times!
One other thing to consider is that age does matter in the sense that one gets more easily tired. That's why regardless of the gender of my current preg, I ain't having a fourth one regardless of whatever incentives thrown in my way!
Think there's never a" best" time and it all depends on family circumstances, e.g. if you have helper, in-laws on hand etc.
There are pros and cons to having a smaller gap between kids or a wider one. For me, my two gals are abt 3yrs apart. The good thing is that the older child is more independent when the baby came. So less worry abt walking unsteadily, can eat on her own (when she felts like it!) and can play by herself some of the time. Which is helpful when I have to handle them alone when husband not around (no maid) But sibling jealousy quite strong coz she knew and remembered the time she was the queen of the house - I remembered how a relative told me she asked her why mummy and daddy can't just have her! Having said that, my older gal does love her sister. There was a time she would trail visitors who carry the baby for fear that they will bring her (baby) home.
From what I see of a fren whose two boys are 12 mths apart (second one was an "accident"), tough for her in the beginning having to take care of two babies. The family stayed at home most of the time then coz it was a handful to bring both out. And when they do, they leave one a home with in-laws. Sure the boys fight but from what I can see, they exhibit slightly less sibling jealousy, may be because they do not remember a time when the other is not around. And now that the boys are older, they are having a much easier time - so there is some truth in the old saying that enjoyment comes after the tough times!
One other thing to consider is that age does matter in the sense that one gets more easily tired. That's why regardless of the gender of my current preg, I ain't having a fourth one regardless of whatever incentives thrown in my way!
Just wanted to give the mummies here some encouragement by sharing what my husband and I went through. I am over 35 as well and just had a baby girl after having been married for 9 years.
Prior to conceiving, we had all the tests done, tried IUI, TMC, Acupunture and were just short of IVF. Just as we were about to go for IVF, I discovered that I had Graves disease (a thyroid condition) and I came down with a severe case of hives. While on treatment, we discovered that I was pregnant and that the Graves disease was in fact brought on by my pregnancy.
My baby is nothing short of a miracle because prior to discovering that I was pregnant, I had a bad case of hives, was on anti-histamines to bring down the swelling, had to take steroids for the Graves' disease, had an X-ray done and drank wine at an office function. With God's blessings, my baby is happy, healthy and growing well.
So to sum up, don't wait and try later. Our bodies don't always let us have the babies we seek at the times of our choosing. Also get second opinions to convince yourself that you are getting the right kind of treatment or that the procedure you are advised to take is the best one in the circumstances.
Pray hard and thank God for all your blessings each day. Be joyful with what you have. If you long for children and have not been able to conceive, bless the children around you (neighbours, relatives, friends) with small gifts of sweets and toys.
Baby dust to all of you trying to conceive.
Prior to conceiving, we had all the tests done, tried IUI, TMC, Acupunture and were just short of IVF. Just as we were about to go for IVF, I discovered that I had Graves disease (a thyroid condition) and I came down with a severe case of hives. While on treatment, we discovered that I was pregnant and that the Graves disease was in fact brought on by my pregnancy.
My baby is nothing short of a miracle because prior to discovering that I was pregnant, I had a bad case of hives, was on anti-histamines to bring down the swelling, had to take steroids for the Graves' disease, had an X-ray done and drank wine at an office function. With God's blessings, my baby is happy, healthy and growing well.
So to sum up, don't wait and try later. Our bodies don't always let us have the babies we seek at the times of our choosing. Also get second opinions to convince yourself that you are getting the right kind of treatment or that the procedure you are advised to take is the best one in the circumstances.
Pray hard and thank God for all your blessings each day. Be joyful with what you have. If you long for children and have not been able to conceive, bless the children around you (neighbours, relatives, friends) with small gifts of sweets and toys.
Baby dust to all of you trying to conceive.
Hi mummies,
same here, i aso wish to have a 2nd one soon, my boy is turning one this sat..have been considering too but hubi is not veri keen, maybe becos i behaved badly towards my mil during my confinement, have been telling him its not within my control.
I had a hard time getting pregnant, went for a few rounds of iui, tried chinese medicine, stopped for a while and resumed trying again. After 6 years, just as i was contemplating to go for ivf,i found out that i was pregnant. Both me n hubi couldn't believe our ears, up to now i still keep the test kit to serve as a memento.
Mummies who wish to go for a 2nd/3rd/4th one, please go for it, life is short, why think so hard? Everything will fall nicely in place for you and He will provide for all. Dun wori, be hapi.
same here, i aso wish to have a 2nd one soon, my boy is turning one this sat..have been considering too but hubi is not veri keen, maybe becos i behaved badly towards my mil during my confinement, have been telling him its not within my control.
I had a hard time getting pregnant, went for a few rounds of iui, tried chinese medicine, stopped for a while and resumed trying again. After 6 years, just as i was contemplating to go for ivf,i found out that i was pregnant. Both me n hubi couldn't believe our ears, up to now i still keep the test kit to serve as a memento.
Mummies who wish to go for a 2nd/3rd/4th one, please go for it, life is short, why think so hard? Everything will fall nicely in place for you and He will provide for all. Dun wori, be hapi.
oddball_16
New Member
Hi everyone, i'm gonna be 37 this year and had just went throu' a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I already have a son who's 2 years + and thought that i'm able to give him a sibling. But who knows, sigh! Now i'm waiting for my 1st menstral cycle to come before i can start TTCing again. However phobia is there .. what if i'm gonna miscarry again (given the fact that i'm no longer young). Don't know if i'm able to take that kind of blow again.
kaitlynangelica
New Member
oddball,
I am 36 this year. Miscarried twice last year and my gal is turning 6 this year. Worse right? Gap so huge and I wan to try again but damn scared too lor.........
I am 36 this year. Miscarried twice last year and my gal is turning 6 this year. Worse right? Gap so huge and I wan to try again but damn scared too lor.........
melvinmom
Member
Hi, age gap is not a problem, i have a 9 years old son and a 15 mths bb now,gave birth to the youngest one when i'm 36 years old. i personally felt that it is not so tiring taking care of 2 since the eldest one is old enough to take care of himself, so can focus more on the bb. And most importantly, he is able to understand why mummy, ah ma and everyone in the family need to give more attention to didi becos he is still a bb.
kaitlynangelica
New Member
May,
so you think it is okay for me to go ahead and try again? I am damn scared lor.....the second miscarriage ended at 11w6d. I couldn't believe it when the gynae said got no more heartbeat liao. Any suggestions on how to prevent miscarriage?
so you think it is okay for me to go ahead and try again? I am damn scared lor.....the second miscarriage ended at 11w6d. I couldn't believe it when the gynae said got no more heartbeat liao. Any suggestions on how to prevent miscarriage?
mildstrawberry
Member
hi all,
i m 34 this year, TTC again after recent miscarriage at 8 wks. though, i am very scared to try again, i will pray hard to have my own baby.
For those who wish to have another one, pls try and follow your heart.
Valerie, you might want to try TCM to build up your body aft misscarriage. Me too, will do my best not to let this happen again. Good luck
i m 34 this year, TTC again after recent miscarriage at 8 wks. though, i am very scared to try again, i will pray hard to have my own baby.
For those who wish to have another one, pls try and follow your heart.
Valerie, you might want to try TCM to build up your body aft misscarriage. Me too, will do my best not to let this happen again. Good luck
hi, TTC mummy,
I just start a new BP on pregnancy and ovulation test strips, only $0.6 per strip if u buy more than 10 piece, else it's $0.8. take a look if u keen.thanks
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/581296/2284564.html?1237957388
I just start a new BP on pregnancy and ovulation test strips, only $0.6 per strip if u buy more than 10 piece, else it's $0.8. take a look if u keen.thanks
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/581296/2284564.html?1237957388
hi all,
I'm like most of you... going on 35 end of this year. My boy is almost 3, miscarried on 31 Dec 08, did D&C and stayed in hospital over New Year hols...Sigh! Am TTC-ing for a 2nd one but not too successful tho. Rather, maybe I'm conscious as gynae said not to try for the 1st 3-6 months.
Good luck to all moms here! Go with you heart!
I'm like most of you... going on 35 end of this year. My boy is almost 3, miscarried on 31 Dec 08, did D&C and stayed in hospital over New Year hols...Sigh! Am TTC-ing for a 2nd one but not too successful tho. Rather, maybe I'm conscious as gynae said not to try for the 1st 3-6 months.
Good luck to all moms here! Go with you heart!
Hi mummies,
I managed to conceived my 2nd child after 2 yrs of trying painstakingly. finally went to a TCM doc in Clementi. treatment for 2 mths and BINGO! dun thk is 100% doc's credit thou. cld be both me n hubby more relaxed (dat nite 6yo daughter went for her 1st overnight sch camping...hehe), cld be the TCM treatment, or best of all..by GOD's grace!
The age gap is wide but no worries cos daughter was all ready for her lil brudder. she prayed so hard for another sibling.
I wish the very best to all mummies TTC and continue to pray for the blessed child to come.
I managed to conceived my 2nd child after 2 yrs of trying painstakingly. finally went to a TCM doc in Clementi. treatment for 2 mths and BINGO! dun thk is 100% doc's credit thou. cld be both me n hubby more relaxed (dat nite 6yo daughter went for her 1st overnight sch camping...hehe), cld be the TCM treatment, or best of all..by GOD's grace!
The age gap is wide but no worries cos daughter was all ready for her lil brudder. she prayed so hard for another sibling.
I wish the very best to all mummies TTC and continue to pray for the blessed child to come.
hi, i'm preggie with my 2nd darling when I was 34. Had been confined twice in bed and threaten abortion. I was almost close to tears when come to think of how supportive my DH and elder DG have been. Now, I have my 2 lovely angels growing healthy. Just can't ask for more liao.
Hi, Mummies out there, I read all your stories and felt that i am lucky to have 3 kids(1 boy and 2 gals, age 8,7,and 4) Iam 30 this year and always want to have another boy but i am scared that i would ended up having scary nightmare cos the 2nd one is a nightmare to me for the past 7 years, but i loves her the most but i treat all my kids the same, even though i agreed that there are good and naughty ones.
My son always pester me to have another son so that he will have someone to play with but i think that 2 is enough but u know 'accident' do happens, so ended up with 3 lah!!
When i had my 3rd one, i feel like aborting it cos of financial problem, but eventually i feel the pain if i were to give up like that, so i went all the way from giving birth, taking care of her for 3 months, going back to work until now she's 4 YO.
But overall,i think it's worth it after all the hard work that we have gone thru..
Mummies out there, we must endure the pain and go right out to achieve it.
Good Luck and hope you get your aspired ones that you need.
My son always pester me to have another son so that he will have someone to play with but i think that 2 is enough but u know 'accident' do happens, so ended up with 3 lah!!
When i had my 3rd one, i feel like aborting it cos of financial problem, but eventually i feel the pain if i were to give up like that, so i went all the way from giving birth, taking care of her for 3 months, going back to work until now she's 4 YO.
But overall,i think it's worth it after all the hard work that we have gone thru..
Mummies out there, we must endure the pain and go right out to achieve it.
Good Luck and hope you get your aspired ones that you need.
snowywhite_sg
New Member
hi Mummies, I had my second one when I was 34. This second one came unexpectedly as I did not want to have anymore since I had suffered a lot during my first pregnancy. But I have no regret as both of them are growing healthily and lovely.
sharon_ang
Member
it depend on individual.
I know of friend who even give birth at 40
I know of friend who even give birth at 40