tks, princess-in-dreamland, seabreeze, starflower, ida, babydreams n really every single one here..it was indeed a tough struggle cos i was in between providing a complete family for elixir n but in fact facing his needs myself or current decision cos it will mean i end my worries n imaginations n be happier in e long run without the thought of thinking if hb is lying or not, where is now etc...its also partly i dun trust him anymore n dun wish to go thru the same ordeal once again...really thannkful for all the consolations n really, i'm touched...at least my focus is not split but a total 100% to elixir...just hope he dun resent me for all this when he grows up...