(2008/08) Aug 2008

hi mummies
back to work today..sigh..tons of s**t to clear...darn...
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...anyway...bo bian..still got to work...

dongle
dun worry abt ranting lor...we all also use here to rant mah...
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...the more rants..the things to read..good for me (and other mummies) to destress!..heehee..sorry ar..not purposely doing it at ur expense..but really..reading the forum here with the rants and gossips..a good way for me to destress at least!..
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nini
heeheee.i agree wif u ..dongle so slim cuz everyday climb so many floors..heehee..

maids
just a question...do ur give ur maid all the salary every month...or keep some portion of it...like $200 and give the rest for her to spend? so ur can save the rest for her..and @ the end, give her all the $ back??
 


YLN, it's illegal to withhold a maid's salary. I may sound like a maid activist (I'm not... just a regular working mom with two kids
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) but how would we feel if our employer tells us that they will withhold two-thirds of our salary and pay us at the end of our two-year employment? Won't we be miserable too
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Some people do it to gain control over the maid but I feel it's not right...
 
<font color="aa00aa">Snow</font>
Love the disney princess outfits ;)


<font color="aa00aa">Dongle</font>
then have to change oredi no choice.. she like that no mood to work liao so just come up with an act for you guys to see...
your hubby going to tell agency to change?
 
<font color="aa00aa">Snow</font>
Love the disney princess outfits ;)


<font color="aa00aa">Dongle</font>
then have to change oredi no choice.. she like that no mood to work liao so just come up with an act for you guys to see...
your hubby going to tell agency to change?
 
dongle &amp; vern
thx....actually ah ma secretly feed this bo gey rat eat cupcake when i'm not aware, and its captured in this photo liao lor...ha ha...gotcha!
the princess dress is solely for cake cutting session nia, abit uncomfy to wear thru out. =P
 
hi babysage,

Not all mommies here can be like u...got bonus of $200, buy so many things for her n her kid...sorry..I'm those mommies who are not that high paid salary...so i really can't afford to pay her extra necessity as a reward but i will buy her something she like to eat
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To get a maid, every mth hv to pay $330 + $20(for her no off day) + $170 foreign levy..total can cost me $520 per mth! Not including if she's sick or wat leh...

If I have the choice, I will not get a maid cos no one can look after my baby...my hse only maid n baby alone leh...

Haizzz...life is so boring...


Dongle,

Sorry if any of my words offend u :p hope u can get a good maid ya
 
<font color="#CD3278">ling</font>
Nandini's cake looks yummy.. The choc looks so goood! Maybe it's the angle at which the photograph was taken so it doesn't look tt big &amp; tt the way the cake is cut?

Thanks for the well-wishes! No lah, I can't go on leave for this kind of reasons &amp; I don't get AL

<font color="#CD3278">rona</font>
Better not keep the cake for long, at most 3-4days.. May grow mould wor

We're thinking of taking her swimming or maybe Polliwogs.. Cant decide leh

<font color="#CD3278">snow</font>
Thanks!!

eh, FB wld show off abt the party? Why wld ur hb think so leh?

<font color="#CD3278">missysz &amp; dongle</font>
Thanks for the well wishes!

<font color="#CD3278">Dongle</font>
I think better change a maid, if she's not willing to try &amp; adapt, prob going to give u a lot of headache &amp; more probs later on

Actually I think even living in a big house tt has a no. of levels to get ard doesn't mean tt there's ALOT of work to do.. It all boils down to whether the employer is realistic in the amt of work the maid needs to do..

Imagine a small flat that's super cluttered &amp; the employer still requires every nook &amp; cranny to be dust free... Worst still if there are lotsa ppl living in it &amp; so many ppl's things to take care of &amp; then at the end of it, sleeps in a odd corner of the house..
 
pinky, but I'm sure your gesture of buying something she likes to eat is greatly appreciated! I'm not saving need to give bonus but some show of appreciation goes a long way
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I would love to live with no maids if there is a good care giver for my kids. So have to leave my kids with the maids, 'supervised' by MIL unless I quit working
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Agree with hisstory, my maids know though there are 4 stories to clean, it is an easier job since they only need to mop the floor once a week (I wanted their full attention for the kids and can live with dirtier floors) as opposed to someone wanting them to mop a small apartment repeatedly in a day (my maid related this to me which happened to one of her friends).
 
babysage,

I live in a very very small flat. But I will ask my maid to sweep n mop the floor everyday, clean the toilet everyday. Only come to weekends, she must clean thoroughly
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Most imptly, she must take care of my son when i'm out to wrk...
 
hisstory
cos most of our mutual friends dun celebrate bb's bday, so he got concern lor.
i dunno how man think lah, but definitely wun wanna let such things affect us. =)
 
BabySage,
I agree with you.

Krex,
My maid's salary is about $400. She has AWS of a month too and angbaos for her birthday, my kids birthdays, CNY, Hari Raya, when she went back for home leave etc. She is an indon and she will be getting a raise when she is back from her home leave end Sept. She will be going for almost 4 weeks. She has an off day every month cos i cannot afford to give her more than once a month. But I have peace of mind with her cos i know she loves my kids and can take care of my kids. She scolds my kids when they misbehave too. I'm actually happy that she scolds my kids - that means she cares about them right? Like BabySage, I also buy her daughter stuffs that I will buy for my kids... so much so that she told me please don't buy anymore for her daughter! She knows she is appreciated. She is with me for almost 4 years and should be working for me for another 2 years unless something happens.

Doogle,
Like what Hisstory wrote, its your expectation and how realistic it is.

Krex, Doogle,
Good luck with the maid hunting!
 
hisstory
ya, he is someone who always consider otehr's feeling 1st. =P
no bad experience lah, but his character lor.


re: maid
think everybody manage their own human resources according to their own needs and methods, there is no definite rite or wrong lor.
u can give leave or no leave, give bonus or no bonus, its all depend on the maid's performance some time also ya?
its a very subjective and individual topic. =)
 
Snow,
you have got very happy pictures! I think its a happy and good party! where is the place? so many balls!
 
YLN,
Teacher's day is coming, will your kids prepare gifts for you? what kind of gifts do you receive most? Choz?
 
rona
actually zynn that day played till face red red, look like swollen...think its a nice place for kiddos bah...ha ha....
its a bb gym inside delta sport complex, the entrance is not expensive at all lor. =)


rona &amp; yln
yes, only "recruit" ur human resources depend on needs.
thereafter, they are ur human capital.
use it wisely, and with respect. =P
the rest are very subjective de, dun need to bother what and how other doing lor...hee hee...
 
<font color="#CD3278">snow</font>
Oooh.. Ur hb's like a SNAG!

Agree with you.. No definite right &amp; wrong for some things.. Think like how dongle mentioned, she did specify some expectations &amp; also the type of house, but when the maid agreed &amp; then changed her mind, it's kind of like a betrayal..

<font color="#CD3278">Dongle</font>
Hope you find a gd helper real soon.. So in the interim, this maid's still going to be with you?
 
Snow,
i heard of that one before, need to book it or not? seems like a nice place!

I'm beginning to think that you are a HR person leh! got needs and human capital.. chim! think its more complicated when the human capital stays with you... heheheee... sometimes got to make do lor. I ever see before one BIG house with only one maid - this maid from phil, angmo family, 3 kids and i think they entertain quite a lot at home. this maid got to do quite a lot too and i see her getting thinner and thinner... heheheee... then i seldom walk pass the house liao so didn't see her liao... but true lah, some maid are more capable, some are not. some are more calculative while some are not. (sounds the same in the work place too hor...) heheheee...
 
rona
u know..its really sad nowadays ..to be teacher..i dunno..maybe its just the culture of my school...teachers in our school dun get appreciated much by students...in my other schools, i used to get little bears and flowers..in this scho, maybe because they are all so rich and spoilt..they take us for granted..and never show any appreciation..all they want is half day of celebration and they can go home early...in any case, i dun need their gifts lah...i dun mind a gucci bag tho (which they use as SCHOOL BAGS LOR)...heeheeee....but no..we dun usually get gifts....i just got a handbaked cupcake from one of my closer students these few years..very thoughtful
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i dun noe how its like in MOE schools..but unfortunately, my school hardly have genuine students who appreciate teachers...
i rem last time during my sch days..i would buy flowers and gifts for my fav teachers....to show my appreciation..but nowadays..even a greeting also hard to get...
 
babysage,

i'm ok to give maid off day if she can prove to me that she's responsible and won't fall into bad company/ get pregnant, etc.

what do u mean by $500 all inclusive? includes agency fees, insurance, runaway bond and free replacement is it?

rona,

think it boils down to luck. was blessed to have a good maid for one year, and a competent CL also for my 1st mth. now no such luck.

YLN,

with my ex maid, the arrangement was we give her $100 cash and $250 goes to her bank a/c joint with my hb. she will draw money to remit home sometimes. everything in the bank a/c goes to her when she leaves us. i think u can suggest that if your maid is willing. for mine, since she has no off day, she has no reason to be keeping large amts of cash at home.
 
krex
ic ..so thats ur arrangement...my maid needs to send $ home every 2 months...so we give her the $ to keep..but last week when she went for her off...she spent $70 !..n lost $20..n she didnt even know how she lost it...so i was just thinking if by safekeeping some for her will be better...if put in bank..abit mahfan..must keep withdrawing out..sigh...
 
YLN,
Wah! Gucci as SCHOOL BAG? the kids in your school damn rich leh.

yes, handbaked cupcake is nice, very thoughtful. these students are good!
 
YLN,
Wah! Gucci as SCHOOL BAG? the kids in your school damn rich leh.

yes, handbaked cupcake is nice, very thoughtful. these students are good!
 
ya rona..
n the gucci bags are not the 2-3K kind...its like 5k those kind...all big big and roomy..leather leather kind..in fact,...many of our students use gucci bags...n this poor teacher use $50 mango bag..,.hheeheee
 
krex, dongle

think i can join u guys in the maid hunt too. caught my maid drinking frm the water pitcher spout. ask her y she did it, she said she is finishing the water n washing it already n quickly brot it to the sink. i went to open the lid n it was full!!! i ask her y she lied. she kept quiet n look at me. she has been using my estee lauder night repair n eyecare. i kept asking her she denied then i made a marking of how i place the items in the fridge, went for dinner, came back to check n it was out of place again. i asked her again why i have told her not to use n she still do it. she said she never use. i told her to look me in the eye n tell me the truth n she said she never use 2x n look at the floor n look away. hiaz. she has been with me since i was 7mths preg n she has never needed to spend any money cos i gave her everything she needed n when she went out i paid for all her purchases n this is how she repay me. i have forgiven her ofr spoiling n breaking things in the hse n even using hot water to spray on my bb n hot water to wash her genitals during diaper change but i cannot tolerate lies cos it means her attitude has changed n she will def dare to do many more things behind my back.

i am shifting hse in a mth;s time, hubby told me to use her to pack the place n wash up new hse then send her back. i was hospitalized 2x becos of stress frm her. it is time to let her go
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baby sage,

yr agent gd or not...
i talked to my agent, she said my maid is taking advantage of me n ask me to change. i am abit reluctant to go back to her unless she has gd biodata. i treat my maid very well lei...let her call back phil with my hp at least once a mth plus give her hp n top up card 4 her,bring her shopping to buy her gifts for her children, help her wrap up n pay postage to send it back for her, remittance fee also pay for her every mth. give her new clothes all the time. buy her snacks n toiletries CNY give her $100. mil also buy things for her each time she goes out with mil n hint tt she likes a top etc. bring her out, she go shopping for her own stuff wo. she has made soooooooooo much mistakes tt even she admit n joke n say she made so much mistakes yet i keep her.

dongle,

now my turn to rant, hiaz
i stay at home to take care of gg myself. all she has to do is hsework. she can cook noodles, take 2 hrs lei. i can catch her not cleaning the flr for 2 days n she insist she did. today i ask her y the toys were dusty, i tot u clean daily n she ans back, she never clean today only ma. i told her dust dun form in a day. the same biscuit on the flr can b there for 2 days yet she insist she clean the flr n by hand summo but cant see the biscuit at all~ she sleeps more than me man!

sian, feel like not having maid but i scared can;t handle gg n all the hsework. how come nobody supply maids tat is assigned to u but go back to their quaters daily type
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LTS

aiyo......... so stressful ar.

alamak... u hospitalised due to her..

n luckily u found her drinking from the sprout. it's............... shaking head.


I know a few gd agents, if u need can pass the contacts to u.

but u hv to becareful nw, coz she might do funny things if she knows she is gng home.

anyway hor.. like wat u wrote.. I think got leh. let me check for u. heard it somewhere fm a frd.
 
good morning mummies,

Hope today is a good day to start. Ytday I was very angry, I tendered resignation the day b4 ytday and HR told me I still owe her few MC cert. I asked her which days coz there were some MC doc gave but I still go work coz need to rush for SGX reporting and year end closing. she refuse to tell me the dates and ask me to pass all I have to her. Yesterday I passed her 2 MC cert and asked if still have any outstanidn she said I should know. I told her how would I know coz I never keep track when I took MC lo and it is unfair to me if I pass her all I have coz some days I went to work while I was sicked. I told her since she has the date why not she give me then I search the MC for her. She din say anything. After work I received her email said I still have MC cert outstanding and she has deducted them from my annual leave. Really really very piss off!! Such a b***h lo.
krex,
I am not the one change maid over weekend la. Touch wood my current one still ok just a bit lazy, sometimes she tell lies also so I confronted jialat jialat if she tells lies.

My 2nd ($340 - totally fresh maid) and 3rd maid ($380 - worked in twn b4) were phil. Both no off day no HP allowed. I paid additional $20 for off day.
 
mummies,
Yesterday afternoon my gal suddenly fever and I asked my maid to give paracetamol. this morning 12am her fever shoot up to highest 39.3C. I quickly insert the med into her butt and the fever subside in half an hour time till now still a bit warm warm about 37.1-37.3C. Do you think I should bring her to see doc this morning?
 
Good morning mommies! So many posts recently!!!

Happy birthday to all August bbs!!!

The cakes all look so nice and delicious and make me hungry...

Twin Stars,
hospitalised due to stress from maid? U ok now? Take care ya.

Cocomo,
you monitor how is the temp like today...if it comes back (normally evening) then better bring to c PD as coz be some kind of viral infection. Hope all is well.
 
morning mommies. =)
think yesterday server problem leh, cannot post.


shint, faeriekim, nini, &amp; snowhamster
happy bday to kai, sy, braiden, &amp; Shievon


hisstory
pai seh, what is a snag?


rona
if for private party, need to book.
else if normal walk-in only need to buy their playcard, its $20 for 6 1hr entries.

bo lah, me in IT line.
ha ha.... >D

this kinda thing we outsider very difficult to comment 1 lor, its up to if individual noe how to escalate problem correctly and protect themself anot ya?


twinstars
take care lah...
u can never treat a maid like buddy, as long as u never ill treat them can le lor.


sylvia
ya lor, these elderly always like to use food to stuff bb's mouth so that they dun make noise 1.
ha ha....i really dunno how much zynn had been eating when i'm working out, she gonna be a fat rat soon. =P


cocomo
can shoot up till 39.9 is bad, i would suggest u bring her go see dr liao loh.
normally over 38.5 i wun wait le.
 
little twin stars, think you treat your maid too good until she takes advantage. Sometimes that happens with my first maid too to be honest. On these occasions I will reprimand her. So it's a bit like handling a kid - positive reinforcement for good behaviour and punishment for bad,

My agent is good in the sense that whenever I want to replace a maid (replaced my second maid twice), he will not hem and haw, the replacement maid (fresh from Philippines) promptly arrived in about 3 weeks. At no additional cost to boot. But bio-data wise, I must admit his selection is very limited.
 
cocomo, for babies, temperature above 37.5 degree then considered fever since their basal temperature is higher than adults. Looks like the suppository you gave her worked so just need to sponge her and give her paracetamol every 6 hourly or ibuprofen every 3 hourly (for higher fevers). Bring her to a PD if she seems unwell. You are her mom so you know best
happy.gif
 
hi LTS - poor thing, sigh maids are always an issue that needs careful handling. my ex-colleague was jailed for maid abuse something she insisted she did not do but the maid said she did. there was no physical evidence but it is her word agst the maid. she lost.

Hi ladies - need ur advice on something. We went for 2nd opinion on my son's kidney prob 2 days ago. Prof Yap at NUH opinion was totally diff from my current pd who is also a kidney specialist. My current pd wanted E for op as soon as possible (next mth) but Prof Yap say no need op. She thinks that she will wait for E to get another infection then she will suggest op. she taught me things that my PD did say at all -->moinitoring of blood pressure (which pisses me off cos during the last 10 days stay at GlenE the nurses did not take bld pressure at all). and also even if need to take out bad kidney, a key hole surgery will be ok instead of a major cut.

I am rather confused now. We will see both of them after E's DMSA on 19 Sep. my PD does not know we seeking his Shifu's opinion. Prof Yap thinks that the DMSA will not show improvement as the last ultrasound show a v small right kidney vs the left. Guess the rite kidney is really gone case.

Do u ladies think if their opinions still different (totally) i shld seek a 3rd opinion? Or get both of them to talk and discuss?

thks for ur advice cos this mummy here super stressed and confused.
 
thanks mummies for all the encouragement and tips....

maybe sounds like i treat my maid poorly since 2 maids both complain a lot of things to do... they merely do housework cos my mum take care of baby &amp; cooks... my house is only 2600 sqft &amp; this space includes 2 carpark lots and whole floor of roof terrace... left internal usable space of abt 1560 sft which is smaller than an HDB executive flat... hahaha... big meh? 3 bedrooms &amp; 3 toilets.... same as my previous condo lei...

now im seriously considering full day childcare when my baby turns 18 months next year even though i dont like the idea as im afraid that she will be sick easily!!!

my first maid was quite good &amp; she din have to spend a single cent during her one year with us... even her facial stuffs, phonecard, her boys new clothes, bicycle etc was paid by us... we paid for air ticket home &amp; even land transport back to her kampung even though she say she will pay since she wanted to go home as her HB run away... despite her spoiling my appliances and so many of my &amp; baby clothes... we brought her out every weekends for meals outside as she cant cook &amp; my mum went back home... she eats the same thing as us &amp; eats before me or my HB... in the restaurant &amp; even hotel buffets... i dont think i treat my maid badly at all...

bad news is that i cant even chose a new maid now cos my previous maid not transferred out &amp; with the present maid still under our name... we are fighting a losing battle unless one of them either get out of the country or get chosen by a new employer!!! The agent J**K F***S also not helpful at all &amp; talked back loudly to my HB when he asked whether can get a refund or not... even laughed at him &amp; say give you new biodata also no use cos you aledi have 2 maids under your name liao!!!
 
dongle
i think this agency is really bad cos they dont help u solve ur problem yet same time they can even laugh at ur hb. sadly the law only protects the maids but nothing is protecting us against them cos i think many a times we are at the losing end.

why ur prev maid not trf out yet ? ur current maid still got loan ?
 
Morning mummies.

Was unable to log on whole of ytd afternoon. Lots of talk on maids today. I am so glad I no longer have to face such problems. My gran is looking after my gal in the day and she insists tat we dun employ another maid after we sent the previous one home. Only thing is tat my hse is in a total mess... Heaps of clothes waiting to be washed/ ironed/ folded.
 
mummynana
if i dun have a maid, think my house will have spider web also. =P
work in the day and looking after 2 kids at nite, is like totally no rest day and nite ya?
 
dongle,
I think your agent is lousy. your ex-maid still not transfered out yet? no one wants her huh? I think you have to check around to see how you can cancel the work permit, but i think once you cancel the work permit, you will be required to send the maid home??

No lah, we are not saying you treat your maid badly, but this is really luck lor. Like my first maid - nothing much to do cos no kid yet right, so she started to go through our things and steal from everyone, she was so eager to go back cos her bags were full of our goodies. my MIL's previous maid also like that, stole a lot of money from all of us leh. We didn't check their bags when they were leaving cos we are too trusting... only when we brought the maid to the airport, her luggage is over weight, so got to pay extra for the luggage, i think almost $200 or so, she wanted to pay for it, opened up her big pouch which she secured under her shirt and in the pouch is full of $50 and $10 notes!!! btw, she has remitted all her salary back home already leh.

There are also some maids who carry tales to and fro and upset the whole family...
 
<font color="#CD3278">snow</font>
Oooh, SNAG ah.. Sensitive New Age Guy..
But apparently the even more IN kind of guy is the metrosexual (or is there an even more IN guy nowadays?)

<font color="#CD3278">Shint</font>
Thanks!!
Enjoy your day with your little prince!

<font color="#CD3278">dongle</font>
No lah.. Not tt u're ill-treating her. Every house has different needs &amp; employer has diff expectations.. And then again, maids also expect different things too. I think if i were you, i wld also be quite pek chek.. Considering you had told her the background &amp; expectations, she agreed then &amp; then changed her mind.. If fr the onset she had rejected your offer, then ur blood wun have to boil liao

Will keep you in prayers.. I think u def need some help at home, esp with the household chores. Maybe keep this maid for the moment, but negotiate with her to do a little less (but not compromise on quality) each day till the next one comes along?

Eh, ur previous maid not transferred out? U mean the one who had to return home coz of her husband?

<font color="#CD3278">LTS</font>
Aiyoh, ur maid also give u headache &amp; taking advantage of u.. Hmm, better change, poor GG &amp; u..

<font color="#CD3278">cocomo</font>
Gd tt u're leaving tt place.. They dun sound supportive man
 
Vanilla,
oh dear! So hard for you to decide! This is very tedious leh. why is blood pressure taking impt? and a major op vs a key hole surgery sounds very very different leh. the major op is to take out the bad kidney? then what will the doc do with a key hole surgery? is it possible to set up a meeting with both and discuss with them?
 


cat, hisstory,
the first maid aledi returned home 2 months ago.... now we have 2 maids under our name which is the maid we just returned on sunday to our previous JM agency &amp; secondly, this new maid which we just took from JF agency... the maid from the previous JM agency will only be taken out from our name if she goes back to indonesia or a new employer chose her as a transfer maid...
 
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