JTR: getting tired of helper's attitude

[jenny04]

Just wanted to rant :-(
My helper has been with me for nearly 4 years now; nearing the ending of her second contract. So far, I was a working mom, so I closed an eye to cleanliness etc. as long as cooking laundry was done and basic cleanliness was there, I was ok..kids I used to always send to a nanny or take care myself, and we got along kind of ok.. but now I stopped working, and I take care of everything related to my kids by myself.. she doesn't like if I tell her to clean ad hoc, cos now that I'm home there is more supervision.. and she has 4 off days so there is a lot of comparison with friends etc. and once when I asked her to do something she did a shabby job and came back to use her phone to do something. I told her that she needs to do the work properly and after that she can spend time chatting etc. and she gets to nap every afternoon from 12-4 everyday in addition to going to bed at 8 pm everyday. I feel she's too pampered and in addition I have to now see her black face everyday and see her attitude.. I'm worried that if I send her back home now, she may show some drama..her contract ends in June, so most likely won't extend.. Such headache :-(
Mummies with 3 young kids and no helper, please tell me, is it doable to preserve our sanity without a helper?

 

[tensilestrain]

If you are taking care of the children yourself, perhaps a part time helper can ease your load and keep your sanity. It depends on how young are your children. They can help to take care of simple chores. My 3 yo boy will join me occasionally in scrubbing the toilet floor. No detergent or chemical involved. I only used water. If I used chemical or detergent, I did it when the kids were playing.

 

[jenny04]

Thank you for the suggestion..Yes, children I take care of by myself..my oldest is 4 and can help with small chores. My youngest is 4m

 

[tensilestrain]

I see. You would really need an extra hand. Are they in childcare?

 

[jenny04]

Yes he goes to cc.

 

[Rainbow1510]

Nap from 12-4pm!!! Too much

 

[jenny04]

Also because not much work right.. I think spoilt because of that

 

[Dr. Tooth]

Put some itchy powder on her bed. She may starts to exercise instead of sleep, sleep and sleep.

 

[sunny_side_up]

change her....don't give her advance notice that you sending her home else you may end up with trouble. get the agency to send a driver to bring her away. Thats what I did. Compensate her abit more money for not giving notice. dont let her hold you ransom. she thinks you cannot do without her thats why she is behaving this way.

 

[richiemccaw]

Sounds like you may want to consider working out with the agency how to send her back – assuming the agency is not communicating with the maid on the backend! I would think the agency would be most happy to arrange for a subsequent employer since they get to earn another round of fees. There is no way back for this maid already.

I think repatriating her home by yourself would usually result in a lot of trouble so I think it is best to see if the agency can do something about it, even if you need to pay them a small sum.

 

[hippo78]

Just buy her an air ticket first, and only tell her one day before (to pack her luggage), so that she wont have time to come out any patterns. After she is gone, cancel her work permit immediately.
That's why most of my friends does to their awful maids.
After nearly 4 years, I don't think the agency will care so much.

 

[richiemccaw]

Just buy her an air ticket first, and only tell her one day before (to pack her luggage), so that she wont have time to come out any patterns. After she is gone, cancel her work permit immediately.
That's why most of my friends does to their awful maids.
After nearly 4 years, I don't think the agency will care so much.

True that. I'm just mindful of the horror stories I've read about maids kicking up a big big fuss on the way to the airport if they even make it onto the taxi.

 

[Mayochuu]

Hi, I only have a 1yo and I have no helper. Just like to give my 2cents worth, it is doable without a helper like yours (sounds exactly like mine that was sent away 3 days after her stay with us). But a part time helper to load you off the chores is very much needed. And I think it is mentally tiring to deal with such helpers, rather then wasting time to feel upset over them, without her I think you would feel happier cause you've got more quality time with your kids! But the cleanliness part really gotta close one eye if you cant close two! Hahaha!

 

[jenny04]

Hi, I only have a 1yo and I have no helper. Just like to give my 2cents worth, it is doable without a helper like yours (sounds exactly like mine that was sent away 3 days after her stay with us). But a part time helper to load you off the chores is very much needed. And I think it is mentally tiring to deal with such helpers, rather then wasting time to feel upset over them, without her I think you would feel happier cause you've got more quality time with your kids! But the cleanliness part really gotta close one eye if you cant close two! Hahaha!

Thanks for the

change her....don't give her advance notice that you sending her home else you may end up with trouble. get the agency to send a driver to bring her away. Thats what I did. Compensate her abit more money for not giving notice. dont let her hold you ransom. she thinks you cannot do without her thats why she is behaving this way.

thata what I thought too! But even giving notice on the morning before, I'm worried if she will kick up some fuss on the way to airport etc. anyone has experience dealing with that? I actually hired her directly, not from agent so I don't have the agent option. we need to ensure that she gets through the ICA gate at the airport, can't leave before that!

 

[jenny04]

Hi, I only have a 1yo and I have no helper. Just like to give my 2cents worth, it is doable without a helper like yours (sounds exactly like mine that was sent away 3 days after her stay with us). But a part time helper to load you off the chores is very much needed. And I think it is mentally tiring to deal with such helpers, rather then wasting time to feel upset over them, without her I think you would feel happier cause you've got more quality time with your kids! But the cleanliness part really gotta close one eye if you cant close two! Hahaha!

Thanks for the message yup like you said it's getting mentally very tiring to deal with her. Now every cleaning I have to specifically ask for, and then see black face and anticipate some talking back also.. not sustainable as it's getting very stressful

 

[jenny04]

True that. I'm just mindful of the horror stories I've read about maids kicking up a big big fuss on the way to the airport if they even make it onto the taxi.

My friends had really horrible experiences. Even on telling the morning before about sending maid off, she locked herself in the room and threatened suicide! Seriously what do these people think!!! First they act up, then they do this

 

[sunny_side_up]

U can try calling the maid agencies. Some of them do offer the service of picking up the maid and escorting them to airport as stated on their website.They will make sure she go thro immigration. If u scared u make sure ur hubby at home, if possible maybe leave ur kids with ur parents first. Keep all the knives before u tell her. That was what I did haha.

 

[richiemccaw]

My friends had really horrible experiences. Even on telling the morning before about sending maid off, she locked herself in the room and threatened suicide! Seriously what do these people think!!! First they act up, then they do this

U can try calling the maid agencies. Some of them do offer the service of picking up the maid and escorting them to airport as stated on their website.They will make sure she go thro immigration. If u scared u make sure ur hubby at home, if possible maybe leave ur kids with ur parents first. Keep all the knives before u tell her. That was what I did haha.

LOL. That's really the crappy part of hiring a maid I guess!