Why am I still haunted by past

[Cannot let go]

I ve been divorced for 4 years. Prior to that, the marriage was already broken and ugly but it was dragged on for 3 years before I finally filed for divorce. I also met someone 3 years ago and still together with him.

But the images of the past kept coming to me, even in my dreams. All the hurtful ones.
Why am I not healed? Why do I still feel sad?

Anyone like me?

 

[KimLee23]

You can let go by thinking about the present and looking forward.
Another important tip in letting go is to immerse yourself into some project and
working hard on it.

 

[lacylace]

Sister Cannot let go,
do you have any religion you can rely on? If not, I suggest you to join a religion, be it Buddhism, Christian.

Buddhist teachings teaches people about the four noble truths. Four noble truths comprised the essence of Buddha's teachings namely, the truth of suffering, the truth of cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering & the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering.

Seems to me, you don't have a 寄托 in life currently. You need to have a 寄托 and slowly & gradually you will forgive & forget.

 

[krazimitzi]

Maybe you needed to give yourself time to let go and heal before moving on, and you didn't really get that chance since you went from one relationship to another. Maybe you could take a holiday overseas just by yourself, maybe go to Bali and do some meditation, or solo trekking etc, something that allows you to be by yourself in silence and really think and cry and get it all out, and look to the future with hope and love and happiness. Wish you all the best.

 

[tiggerpooh]

@Cannot let go: I was married to one who was both physically & mentally abusive. It took me a long while 2 walk away fr him. N when I finally did, I did not trust myself 2 go into another relationship... Till I found my current DH. It wasnt ez starting a new relationship as I wld sometimes b crying in my sleep n b awaken frightened. DH was very protective & loving. N gradually I noticed dat i had less nightmares n was able 2 sleep better.

Time will heal.... it's true. We have been hurt by someone we once proclaimed our love to. Only 2 b betrayed by d same ones dat we loved. But we too have 2 learn 2 accept dat there r indeed gd men arnd. Men who will take care of their families, men who will love u wif all their hearts...

 

[95huili]

it is never easy to let go! The past haunted me and I wonder if I willl ever be healed.

 

[Summer_babe]

It still haunts you because you haven't let it go. Try to cry it out loud, scream and hit the pillow as hard as you can to heal your wound. Forgive the person and open yor heart for a new start. Tell yourself it's over and stop thinking about it. Talk to someone if you need it, don't bury it in your heart.

 

[tiggerpooh]

@95huili: Indeed it's not easy letting go.... I cried almost everyday.... Even thought of jumping down or killing him..... I tot I was going crazy..... i learned to take a day at a time.... focusing on going thru motion, work.... Slowly, there will come a day when u wake up n suddenly realized dat u have not tot of d unworthy guy anymore.

So my ans 2 u is, No it's not easy, but we will survive, cos we have to show d unworthy guy dat without him, we too can live well.

 

[krazimitzi]

What @tiggerpooh said reminds me of the saying, "The best revenge is living well." I'm a total supporter of that!!