Mil insist on taking care of bb her own way

C

cloud15

Member
My Mil has been taking care of my bb since she is 1. However, she doesn't really listen to my advice. For eg I told her the pd advised to give bb a variety of foods/ fruits so bb won't grow up to buy fussy eaters. However the only fruit she knows is apple and only feeds apple everyday. I reminded her and she said my bb don't like other fruits.

Her actions r getting on my nerves. What shd I do?
 


Bring your mil along during the next trip to the pd. Let the pd explain to her why it is good to introduce different varieties of food/fruits.
Sometimes mil only listens to an outsider.
 
May I suggest that you buy other fruits on weekend and try to feed your girl yourself after meals. And if she likes it, then try to convince yr mother-in-law that your girl is open to other choices.

Seniors are protective and be appreciative that you have a mil who is willing to take care of your child. And no point falling out just over fruits.

And not to worry as child will ask for other fruits as they grow up. Occasionally when you bring her out, let her try some papaya, strawberry etc in small quantity from fruit stall. Once she knows here is variety, she will start asking for it from your mil.
 
1. Can u take care of ur girl on your own, means no need MIL help? Childcare? Maid?

2. If u cannot, then u try to introduce other fruits on your own..

No point falling out because nobody else can help u with your kid already...

Thankful that still got a MIL who is willing to take care. Most elderly nowadays would rather be free to do their own stuff or drink kopi than see grandchildren...
 
As mrs_tann has said, it is a nice thing that you have a MIL who is willing to take care. Everyone has their own way of doing things regardless of whether they are objectively right or wrong.

It is important to try and strike a balance between standing your ground and maintaining a healthy relationship with your MIL. We will usually only voice our objections only if it is a fairly important issue to us like feeding our baby with super oily food frequently, and even then we would try to 'gently' remind our parents every now and then to avoid coming across as hostile. However if we think certain things are not improving, we will try to find creative solutions such as switching feeding times or our own lifestyles around such that we are there to feed our babies.
 
I would suggest you buy a variety of fruits that you want your child to take. My mil is also taking care of my 7.5 month old baby and makes the same fish and broccoli porridge everyday, I only have the weekend to make porridge with meat / fish and a variety of other vegetables for him. 2 days compared to the 5 days she is taking care of him is still better than nothing... I DID appreciate that she is willing to take care of my son but what's the point if she doesn't put in effort in doing so? If I can, I would take care of my son on my own, I will make sure he is not underweight and all clean but unfortunately it is also because of the in laws that I am unable to...
 
IronMaiden80 said:
I would suggest you buy a variety of fruits that you want your child to take. My mil is also taking care of my 7.5 month old baby and makes the same fish and broccoli porridge everyday, I only have the weekend to make porridge with meat / fish and a variety of other vegetables for him. 2 days compared to the 5 days she is taking care of him is still better than nothing... I DID appreciate that she is willing to take care of my son but what's the point if she doesn't put in effort in doing so? If I can, I would take care of my son on my own, I will make sure he is not underweight and all clean but unfortunately it is also because of the in laws that I am unable to...
Click to expand...

What do u mean when u say because of in law u are unable to ... I also couldn't stand her so I just quit my job..at least your mil cooks for your baby. Mine never cooked for bb before . I had to freeze food the day before for bb and she still insist that bb doesn't want to eat ..drink milk enough .. Urghh
 
srjk said:
What do u mean when u say because of in law u are unable to ... I also couldn't stand her so I just quit my job..at least your mil cooks for your baby. Mine never cooked for bb before . I had to freeze food the day before for bb and she still insist that bb doesn't want to eat ..drink milk enough .. Urghh
Click to expand...
I am unable to get a HDB because my husband's name is in the current flat we are all squeezing in and my sil (who is not married and older than my husband) refused to take over the flat despite us offering to pay her half the monthly installment and my in laws are actually supportive of her selfish ways. Imagine 6 of us having to fight for a common toilet as in in laws do not want to use the bathroom in their own room... we had no choice but to get a private and due to this, I am unable to quit my job to take care of my son. If they can open their eyes and see that their son is married and has his family with a need to have a place of our own, my son need not go through all these everyday. mil's hygiene standard to close to zero...
 
Would u consider infant care ? I could feel my mil didn't have the heart to look after my bb too. It's dangerous as she likes to bring my bb out and lets her out of sight . So I know what kind of person she is ... Told my hubby and decided best is for me to quit my job although I was earning 12k sgd per month ..
 
srjk said:
Would u consider infant care ? I could feel my mil didn't have the heart to look after my bb too. It's dangerous as she likes to bring my bb out and lets her out of sight . So I know what kind of person she is ... Told my hubby and decided best is for me to quit my job although I was earning 12k sgd per month ..
Click to expand...
I think your mil must have drove you up the wall that you have no choice but to give up your 12k/month job! I don't have the heart to put DS in infant care now... probably when he is older, we will consider playgroup. I feel so much better now after releasing on this forum... it's so hard to share my thoughts with my hubby as she is after all his mother though he is also aware of her character... :)
 
Good luck.. Only you can decide which set of cons outweigh the pros. For us we had no choice since our in laws and parents are all still working, hence placing our children in infant/child care. However with that comes the 'benefit' of less conflict on parenting style too.

You may well decide one fine day that you feel placing him in infant care is not as bad as him being fed in a different way from what you expected it to be! :)
 
richiemccaw said:
Woah - you gave up a 12k/mth job?!
Click to expand...
Yes and that's excluding bonus! Coz couldn't take it anymore . My own mom is overseas . Mil was overjoyed when I say I was quitting my job (so maybe your mil also waiting for u to say that haha) although she looked after for hardly 3 months only coz I took 6 months of maternity leave .
Take it as holidays now lo coz #2 is on the way, my previous job was 8 to 5 job but quite abit of stress!
 
My mom is very keen on taking our babies out of infant and child care. Keeps volunteering to quit. I have hesitated since it is not easy for her to find a job when she is in her 60s once our kids are older, unless she is okay with early retirement. LOL

Good luck with #2!

Money is good to have but personal health and children's welfare are maybe even more important! Glad that you took things into your own hands :)
 
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