SAHM

[jst]

Hi all,

I'm a new stay home mom, gave birth in Nov 2013 and since then has been staying home taking care of my 6 mths old bb alone. I have an elder girl of 8 years old, she goes to the student care after school so will only be back at home during evening time so which means full day I will be alone with baby. MIL come by to make dinner and take care of bb for a while when I goes out to fetch my girl from the student care.

I find being a stay home mom seems more tough then working in an office. Not that I do not like to spend time with my bb, I do, just that I am quite at lost what to do with a baby for the entire day. I'm still exclusive pumping 6 hrly for my bb but he is mostly on FM as my supply is not enough. Thinking of giving up entirely as once or twice feed per day doesnt seem much of an effect for him I feel. Can someone share with me the experience of being a SAHM with a bb and usually that you do with the baby in the entire day? Do you cook lunch for yourself or eat out? I find eating out is a chore as my bb is a reflux bb, he is esily to puke milk if never handle him properly such pressing on his tummy or he will burp on his own very often and milk will flow out from his mouth and this is definitely a hassle if to bring him out.

Clueless as a first time sahm. Hpee someone can share their experiences with me, thanks!

 

[furmoine]

Me too. My bb is 11w. Hes so cute but im at a lost too.

 

[rindy7]

Hi mummies, I'm a first time mummy with an 8 week old baby boy. Taking care of baby on my own for now as well before my maternity leave ends. Hardest thing I have ever done. Really 24 HR job 7 days a week. No time to bathe, go toilet and eat proper meals. Esp at night when I get up to feed the baby and he refuses to go back to sleep! Then have to keep carrying and coax him. Ahhh really very 辛苦。and also the crying for no reasons sometimes. I know that having a baby is hard work and sometimes I just wanna hear from other mummies that this is also what they go through and that things will get better

 

[rykgirl]

Kudos to all of u SAHMs! I quit my job since I got pregnant with my #1 until now.. My kids are 3 and 4.5yo now and they are really fun at this age!

The down side is infant stage seemed like the toughest stage (to me).. Colic, reflux, frequent feedings, cannot play, mummy not enough sleep etc.. But on the bright side, your child will have a much closer bond and understanding with mummy when they become toddler and beyond.. Thus, it will be easier for us to handle when they're older!

The one thing I try my best to do during infant stage is steel my resolve, brave myself and keep bringing baby out, better when I had other mummy friend bring their baby out as well.. We learn a lot from each other (tactics and experiences), we can relax and have tea when our babies are asleep in strollers and the best thing is time will usually fly.. The next thing u know, another day has passed joyfully and the baby will be sleeping very well by the time we got home..

When our babies started crawling or walking, we would frequent indoor playgrounds like Fidgets or Hokey Pokey..

Every once in a while, I will place my baby in a 1day infantcare (some childcare call it emergency care) and go dating with hb.. It keeps our relationship alive and our dates stress free.. Though we still only talk about the kids but at least we were free from physical baby duties.. Haha..

Jia you mummies! You're all awesome~

 

[jst]

Wow rykgirl, you had been sahm for a pretty long time. I am thinking how long I can get going with. in fact I do think that once my baby grows to be able to walk on his own, things will get better, such as I can bring him out to meet friends, have a windown shopping time with baby, nit just confined to 4 walls at home.

Hmm, how you get through the cooking and washings? Can share?

Hi Fumoine,
Thanks, at least I know I am not alone. Sometimes do feel at lost and lonely cos my estate has no one like me. Most of them or in fact, all of them are grandmas or grandpas taking care of the babies, whereas it seems I am the only mom taking care of my own son. And whole day being with baby force me the need to keep thinking what to do with my bb the whole day. Eveyday I kept looking atw the clock counting down to my hubby and girl's return to home to join me and bb.

Hi, Rindy7,
Yes Is really hard work, harder than working in office at times. ** sweat ** even going to toilet need to run lol. Yeao, and sharing wi other mummies really make us feel better!

 

[rykgirl]

Hi jst,
I don't cook everyday.. In fact, I cook very occasionally, only when I have the right mood to cook.. We da bao almost every evening but when I do cook, hb & kids are super appreciative! For my laundry, I do at night.. Before kids' bedtime, I will throw the laundry into washing machine.. So I will have time to relax a bit after kids fall asleep. then I'll go hang up my laundry..

U can already bring baby out, u know? Time will surely pass faster and your baby will grow faster also.. hehe.. The trick is to find another mummy with a baby about the same age as yours.. The support u give each other will be <blank>... I have no words to describe.. =X But it's something u will understand once u've tried it.. It won't bother your friend when u need to go nursing room, in fact, I think she will be as happy to go too.. Things u need to do for baby won't be a bother to her cos she's in the same plight.. It will be very fun! My friends and I usually plan our outings based on nursing rooms or indoor playground or stroller friendly places.. LOL~ It's hilarious and exhausting each outing but it's really worth the effort and happiness..

It will be a very beautiful friendship.. I have already formed super close bonds with 3 mummy friends this way.. All 4 of us already have #2 and the kids are close to each other as well.. 2 of our #1s most prolly will even attend the same primary school! The best thing? Though my friends are back to workforce, we still understand each others' kids like our own..

 

[furmoine]

Hi rindy...
If you dun mind we can watapp each other. I am also a first time sahm...

 

[furmoine]

Hi all mummies
Want to add each other to watapp?

 

[jst]

Yes furmoine, maybe we can do so. I pm u my contact.

Hi, rykgirl, I do want to bring him out but he's still reflux baby tgats why all the more difficult to bring him out alone moreover i still have to pump milk every 6 hrs. With thiese two things it becomes a deterence to go out with him. How about lunch? You dabao too?

 

[rykgirl]

Hi jst, my girl was also colicky and cry all the time, even when supposed to nap in stroller.. I let her cry to sleep and my friend, being more patient then me (becos not their child) will offer to carry and soothe my girl while letting me relax.. My friends gave me enormous support and confidence! We encountered all accidents before liao.. Vomitting in vehicle/public, cry to sleep, poo/pee leak and lots more! Not forgetting huge poo leak all over my right side in the middle of crossing main orchard road junction! Unknowingly, i have also provided support and encouragement to my friends as well.. We still talk abt it now and it's really been a long funny way since then.. Now the kids are grown up, no such times liao.. 1st times are the best to build foundations..

I dun usually da bao lunch cos i sleep late, wake up late.. I'll have brunch at around 10.30am with hb (he knocks off at 9.30am, night shift) then dinner lor.. When my kids become toddlers, i cook porridge for them and i eat with them also..

 

[rindy7]

Hi furmoine, sure will pm you my contact. Though I'm not technically a sahm, only temporary for now before I go back to work in July. Sigh last night my son refused to go to sleep again. Cried from 9 pm to 2 am...

 

[phyllis15]

Hi all,

I m a sahm too. Have been doing that for ard 3 yrs... my kiddos are 9, 4 & 2. So kinda challenging. Can feel free to watsapp me at 98200644..

 

[adlinzul]

I am stay at home mum too but at my spare time, i do sharing on Essential Oils for the families. Anyone of you wanna know more about essential oils,
an alternative healing to drugs that I have used for my families. Do PM me for more infos aite..

 

[soapsoap]

Ladies enjoy ur time with ur bb now, in a blink of eye they will grown-up even before u notice it.

I was a sahm with a 4 yr old gal and a 2 and half yr old boy. Staying around hg, if u mummies free we can meet up for tea

 

[katherine]

I'm considered a part time sahm since I worked twice a week but spend the rest with my 19th month old. When not working, I will bring him over to my mum or mil place so someone can help me out. Missed the times when he was an infant and can't crawl or walk!! It's tougher now to take care of him alone because have to constantly keep an eye on him. But plus points, he is close to me and still prefer mummy over others in times of distress so that reminds me that staying at home with him is worth it. I've been communicating with other mummies with babies of the same age , we started from a forum group also and we meet up quite often n chatted on whatsapp so that helps for sure. I just don't know how full time working mums can do it because I'm already so stretched even though I only work twice a week. Don't know how they can even find the energy to play with baby after work.

 

[Samantha Y]

i'm not a SAHM yet but toying around with the idea, recently we had a re-org and my current supervisor is just pain in the a**, she not only dont encourage worklife balance she still expect me to stay and clear all my work before i can go home, and everytime there is alway last minutes report to deal with, had been going home only 8+ everyday ever since the re-org started, and 8+ is e earliest i can go..i ever stay till 11pm just to clear my work. I dont want to miss out my time with my kid.
any1 facing the same problem with me b4 deciding on being a SAHM?

 

[ashgray77]

Hi all, I'm a SAHM too ever since pregnant with my 2nd girl till now 7 mths old. I order Tingkat lunch as difficult to bring her out to pack daily under this warm climate. As my 1st girl needs to attend Intervention twice a week, I will have to drop my 2nd with my 1st's nanny. Other days only 2 of us at home can get quite bored, she naps at a 2hr interval. I will catch some sleep, do chores or surf the internet. my mum stay over 2-3 days fortnightly.
The only place to wander is the Sunshine place nearby where there's a Giant and bakery etc. Carrying bb by carrier and take bus to the CCK Central is too tiring and I won't be able to buy stuff.
I'm so dependent on my hubby as he drives.

Hi rykgirl, can you share which infant centre accept 1day infant care? Thanks.

 

[alpstan]

Dear SAHM,
I just set up a page for us. Please have a look and read through detail info on the page. Thank you.

https://www.facebook.com/likemindedmums

 

[jst]

Hi, alpstan,

I just saw your post and I have liked the page. Thanks for creating this for sahms.

 

[jst]

Samantha,

For me, same as ashgray77, I quitted my job ever since pregnent with my boy snd he's now turning 8 mths old tomorrow. To be frank, i have no regrets but as a sahm now, I realise that sahms do have Monday blues too, the feeling is the same as working a 5 day workweek job. There is no pay, no leaves, no mcs. As household income becomes lesser, buying needs to be calculative and careful. However, if you ssk me to quit being a sahm now and let my boy be under others' care, I will not be willing to do so. So there're always pros and cons in whichever way you decide to take, but going thru to experience it will give yourself a better and clearer picture of what you want in life.

 

[alpstan]

Hi, alpstan,

I just saw your post and I have liked the page. Thanks for creating this for sahms.

Hi jst,
Happy to have you in the page. Please do be active in the page so that we can communicate more and know each other better.

 

[alpstan]

Ladies enjoy ur time with ur bb now, in a blink of eye they will grown-up even before u notice it.

I was a sahm with a 4 yr old gal and a 2 and half yr old boy. Staying around hg, if u mummies free we can meet up for tea

Hi soap soap, do like the SAHM page so that we can mingle around. Thank you.

 

[anngelalip]

I'm preparing to be a sahm too! Intend to resign by next month. Glad to find this thread as I do not have many friends who are sahm. It's such a scary process to rely on one income and being fearful about things such as no market value, no friends, not up to date..

 

[betc]

Halo mommies! I'm also a SAHM for 8 yrs+. I have 2 girls, 7 yrs old(Pri 1) and 2.5 yrs old. I cooked almost everyday. Abit bored at home sometimes. I bring my girl to sch everyday with the little sister who's not in sch yet. Hope to join some chat groups. I'm staying in Bedok. Anyone ard me? Pls add me.

 

[mei1175]

Halo mommies! I'm also a SAHM for 8 yrs+. I have 2 girls, 7 yrs old(Pri 1) and 2.5 yrs old. I cooked almost everyday. Abit bored at home sometimes. I bring my girl to sch everyday with the little sister who's not in sch yet. Hope to join some chat groups. I'm staying in Bedok. Anyone ard me? Pls add me.

Hi Betc,
I stay in Tampines... My elder boy will be going P1 next yr...dunno why but somehow I find that time seems to be gong too fast and I'm getting a little nervous and sad that he's moving on to P1 next yr...

 

[mei1175]

I'm preparing to be a sahm too! Intend to resign by next month. Glad to find this thread as I do not have many friends who are sahm. It's such a scary process to rely on one income and being fearful about things such as no market value, no friends, not up to date..

Hi anngelalip,
I have been a SAHM since 2011 before my second son is born... used to worry about the single income, market value issues etc but I guess it's worth it if you want to spend more time with your kids. It's tougher with a single income but I think can still survive... my elder boy used to stay with my aunt on weekdays as I work long hours and it's difficult ferrying him between hougang and tampines daily ... he'll cry every time I send him there and when I go home after visiting him at night and it breaks my heart.. subsequently, when he's about 3, we sent him to a childcare but he was sick virtually all the time. He has sensitive airways so even a simple flu takes him real long to recover and he's always much sicker than other kids with flu... probably just attended a few days of school every month. In the end, I finally decided to quit to take care of him full time.

It has been more than 3 years since and definitely wasn't easy.. in fact, I think working is easier.... easier to get colleagues to do things than nagging at kids who dun listen ...hehe.... but I think seeing my kids grow is worthwhile... it's a once in a lifetime experience. Hope it helps relieve some of your anxieties!

 

[betc]

Being a SAHM can be quite lonely. Most of my friends are working moms. Only 1 girlfriend is a SAHM but staying very far from me. So when I go out it's usually me and my kids only. Somehow it's difficult to go out with single friends as my kids will always be with me no matter where I go.

 

[adlinzul]

yup being SAHM can be lonely but now i pick up sharing on essential oils that allows me to have pocket money & make friends with other oily mummies too.

 

[PTB7674]

Being a SAHM can be quite lonely. Most of my friends are working moms. Only 1 girlfriend is a SAHM but staying very far from me. So when I go out it's usually me and my kids only. Somehow it's difficult to go out with single friends as my kids will always be with me no matter where I go.

i seem to be diff... alot of pple i know are SAHM while i am the odd FTWM lolz

 

[Joycetoh]

I am half stay at home mom..I quitted my job in may 2014..recently started to do insurance so that I can juggle both work n family commitment. .used to stay in office till very late n I do not want to miss seeing my kids grow up..hope I am welcome here

 

[Lostinsg]

Hi.. I m also a SAHM.. Quitted my job since 2009 when preggy w 1st one cos of hyperemesis gravidarum... Now I hv 3 kids.. Last addition in May 2014.. Would like to ask some opinion.. My eldest who is 4 only attended 2 hr nursery when she was 3 n now 3 hr in the morning.. My 2nd is 2 and not yet going school... Still bf my youngest... I don't have maid, no PIL to help n own parents also not helping much... So I did everything alone...

I am thinking to send my eldest to full day child care next year... Cos I really don't have time for her... Fetch her to n fro from school already took some time, then I have to cook 2 meals a day.. Then, bf every 3 hrs... My hubby also wanted my 2nd to go full day child care.. But I am not comfy with the idea cos my 2nd cannot communicate well.. I m scared that someone bully him (teachers or friends) and he don't know how to tell me.. Same for my eldest, that's why we only sent her to 2 hrs classes.. Now she is 4 and can tell us everything.. So I don't mind her to go full day..

Also, I choose to be a SAHM becos I don't trust anyone take care of my kids, other than myself.. And thank God I have a supportive hubby.. Now, I am in dilemma cos it is really good to send my 2 elder to full day and I only care for 1.. Less crying and fighting in the day and thus less tiring for me.. They can learn more from school.. But I can't bear to hv the 2nd one to go now.. Also he very clingy to me.. Will cry if don't see me... How??

 

[Lostinsg]

Being a SAHM can be quite lonely. Most of my friends are working moms. Only 1 girlfriend is a SAHM but staying very far from me. So when I go out it's usually me and my kids only. Somehow it's difficult to go out with single friends as my kids will always be with me no matter where I go.

Exactly same here...

 

[betc]

If I have 3 n can afford, i'll send the 2 older ones to childcare. But have to take into consideration that there's vacancy in the childcare nearby home. Nowadays it's not easy to find a good childcare with vacancy. U can go look ard before u decide if ur willing to let yr 2nd one go. Sending #1 to full day, #2 to nursery n there's a #3....it will be super tiring

 

[Lostinsg]

If I have 3 n can afford, i'll send the 2 older ones to childcare. But have to take into consideration that there's vacancy in the childcare nearby home. Nowadays it's not easy to find a good childcare with vacancy. U can go look ard before u decide if ur willing to let yr 2nd one go. Sending #1 to full day, #2 to nursery n there's a #3....it will be super tiring

It is pretty tiring.. While I was preggy with the 3rd.. I still need to send my eldest to school in the morning together w my 2nd.. Then, in the early afternoon, I have to fetch her back, together with the 2nd.. But cos the 3rd one not out yet, I still can play with 2 of them sometime.. But now, the 3rd one is out, I have to look after her cos she is fragile.. And also bf every 3 hr.. In the morning, I have to send the eldest to school while carrying my 3rd and holding 2nd.. Then early afternoon, fetch my eldest back again with the 2 kids.. I have to cook, and bf.. No time for them.. That's y we wanted to send eldest to full day.. She will have more fun and learn more than with me...I don't have time to play w her anymore...and it's tiring when I have so many things to do and kids fighting and doing a lot of notty things..

My hubby said might as well send the 2nd to full day so that I can concentrate on the 3rd.. We managed to find a childcare that can accomodate both of them.. Don't know how good is the childcare.. Hard to say.. But I m not comfy as my 2nd is still not toilet train and can't hardly describe properly.. And he is clingy on me.. Don't know if he can survive without me.. My eldest went to 2 hrs school while she was 3.. So I thot sending 2nd to 2 hours also.. But then it will mean I have to send 1st to one school and 2nd to another, while still have to fetch to and fro the 2nd cos only 2 hrs.. While taking care 3rd one.. Guess that will b also tiring.. But if I have a peace of mind of my 2nd well being.. I feel better..

 

[timmerin]

Hi I m sahm. I have been sahm since end 2011 when I got pregnant. Have a toddler son at home. Hope to meet more sahm friends

 

[betc]

Sending yr #1 n #2 to childcare will also be better for #3 as u only need to send n fetch #1 n #2 from 1 location. Sending to #2 to 2hr playgroup will mean that yr #3 will have to be going in n out with u sending the 2 older ones to 2 different schs, means tiring for everybody. Not sure abt toilet training in CC...hopefully the teachers will help to train.

 

[MeowMummy]

Yeah, sahm are more lonely! I HV been sahm since end 2013, I can't keep up with my workin friends! I feel sad but I can't help it. My boy always stickin with me, so I guess those friends dare not ask me out. Aso, I do join a watapp Grp, but those sahm always dine at restaurant which I can't afford.

Sorry, bk to ur question, seriously u shd consider sendin #2 to cc, den u have ample time to tc #3, do housework n rest!

 

[joyce0310]

Hi just saw this thread. I'm a sahm since 2011. Quitted after my maternity leave cuz HB was relocated to USA. Stayed there for 2 yrs, I couldn't adapt cuz we came back with #2 in.my tummy. #2 is 21 mths old nw am trying for #3 and gt a strong feeling I'm preg nw but kit still shows negative
Lostinsg currently my #1 is 4 yrs old too. Have been attending full day cc since 26 mths. I'm thinking of enrolling #2 too but cc fees v expensive. 1k per kid after 150 subsidy. 140 per kid for the sch bus. I'm still hesistating to put #2 if nt I need to fork out 2280 for 2 kids cc and sch bus imagine my #1 still gt enrichment in sch, ballet every sun and speech drama at united sq every sat. Wanna change them to cheaper cc but no vacancies. BTW anyone of u stay near me? I stay at punggol

 

[betc]

Yeah, sahm are more lonely! I HV been sahm since end 2013, I can't keep up with my workin friends! I feel sad but I can't help it. My boy always stickin with me, so I guess those friends dare not ask me out. Aso, I do join a watapp Grp, but those sahm always dine at restaurant which I can't afford.

Sorry, bk to ur question, seriously u shd consider sendin #2 to cc, den u have ample time to tc #3, do housework n rest!

I agree that some will dine at restaurants thats y i stop joining groups. I will just bring my kids out on my own as it's easier. Just go as and when I'm free n in the mood. No need to wait here n there.

 

[betc]

Hi just saw this thread. I'm a sahm since 2011. Quitted after my maternity leave cuz HB was relocated to USA. Stayed there for 2 yrs, I couldn't adapt cuz we came back with #2 in.my tummy. #2 is 21 mths old nw am trying for #3 and gt a strong feeling I'm preg nw but kit still shows negative
Lostinsg currently my #1 is 4 yrs old too. Have been attending full day cc since 26 mths. I'm thinking of enrolling #2 too but cc fees v expensive. 1k per kid after 150 subsidy. 140 per kid for the sch bus. I'm still hesistating to put #2 if nt I need to fork out 2280 for 2 kids cc and sch bus imagine my #1 still gt enrichment in sch, ballet every sun and speech drama at united sq every sat. Wanna change them to cheaper cc but no vacancies. BTW anyone of u stay near me? I stay at punggol

Wow...the CC fee is so ex! Are the enrichments compulsory in the CC? When my girl was in kindergarten, the enrichments are not compulsory so I don't let her join. Only let her go for HYPY preparation class in K2.

 

[joyce0310]

Its not compulsory but I tink she will be bored if all her frenz go for their enrichments. I enrol one enrichment for her in sch onli. Ya lo fees ex . have to cut down expenses.

 

[betc]

Coz my girl was attending 3hr kindy so enrichment is after school hours so it's very tiring n school don't prepare lunch for them.

 

[betc]

Since ur not working, y don't u let them go for 3 hr kindy?

 

[joyce0310]

Hmm I prefer full day cc for #1. Rite nw #2 is at hm with me. Maybe will enrol her after cny. My #1 v v difficult to look after cuz v v demanding.

 

[Dhiya Liyana]

Hi all,

I'm a new stay home mom, gave birth in Nov 2013 and since then has been staying home taking care of my 6 mths old bb alone. I have an elder girl of 8 years old, she goes to the student care after school so will only be back at home during evening time so which means full day I will be alone with baby. MIL come by to make dinner and take care of bb for a while when I goes out to fetch my girl from the student care.

I find being a stay home mom seems more tough then working in an office. Not that I do not like to spend time with my bb, I do, just that I am quite at lost what to do with a baby for the entire day. I'm still exclusive pumping 6 hrly for my bb but he is mostly on FM as my supply is not enough. Thinking of giving up entirely as once or twice feed per day doesnt seem much of an effect for him I feel. Can someone share with me the experience of being a SAHM with a bb and usually that you do with the baby in the entire day? Do you cook lunch for yourself or eat out? I find eating out is a chore as my bb is a reflux bb, he is esily to puke milk if never handle him properly such pressing on his tummy or he will burp on his own very often and milk will flow out from his mouth and this is definitely a hassle if to bring him out.

Clueless as a first time sahm. Hpee someone can share their experiences with me, thanks!

Hi jst,
i'm a SAHM for my 4 month old son.. When I first gave birth to him, I suffered from postpartum depression because I ran away from home previously when I found out I was pregnant, I had no emotional support, only from my bf (now turn husband, we got married when my son turn 2 month old). My parents were against the idea of me having a child, i took full responsibility and raised him without any support frm my own parents. Sometimes I feel sad and I do miss them. Recently I met up with them, and they are doing great.

I am currently living with my in-laws. It is quite tough because I cannot get along well with my husband's family. There was a maid in the house, but she wasnt much of a help, she only assisted my immobile MIL. So i took care of my baby. Usually the routine goes like this:
7am - milk
7.30am - playtime
8am - bathe
by 9am he will be asleep after a warm shower.
when he sleeps, I sleep too, and i do other chores. I would recommend you to eat in, cook for urself. I always cook for myself when my baby is asleep. When he is awake, i will carry him in a baby carrier.
by 1pm he will be awake, and he will eat his fruits then asleep again til 7pm.
8pm - night shower
8.30pm- bedtime story hugs n kisses
9pm - sleep.

in between you can fit in hobbies. Hobbies make u distracted. I recently started collecting aromatherapy oils and candles. It helps to calm you and your baby.. lavender is good.