Support group - Miscarriages

@dolly what a stupid idiotic nurse!! Sooo mean n insensitive!
@bel doc didnt give me antibiotics...just the pills to insert vaginally... Given 4 pills in total...was told to insert every 12hours..but this morn lots blood clots ,i duno if i m supposed to continue the inserts,couldn't get the dr office too...ended up 6pm managed to call in n they said need to continue n complete the course...when i inserted the second one just now ,abut yucky can feel the menses thingy...I still have cramps here n there... Up to now i m still thinking if going D&C is better than pills?
Actually i m like u, i wun wan to cry in front of my frens too...maybe end day after crying out i feel they wun understd as well? Now i oso dun dare to cry in front of my hubby...i know that if i cry he will b sadder...he is quite affected by this, he nearly fainted but luckily never when doc said bad news....i didnt cry in dr's office too...but till now, find it a cruel joke...after trying so long finally miracle now it's gone...if u really going to collect ur passport, maybe must wear long sleeves n long pants...as though confinement like that, dont b cold....
@rrmama hugs...

Bliswifu,
When u needed to cry... Go ahead and cry as much u want.. It a process of healing.
Believe ur HB able to understand... Just ensure him that u are well, only need to cry out to recover.. My hubby alway panic and depress when he see me cry too.... But after ensure him, he able to give me the space and understand... We sometime will cry together... I'm sure u able to conceive again... During my first MC I was afraid of TTC and the years of waiting... But if u tiao ur body well... Shdnt be a prob.. Jiayou dear!
 


Haze, u referring to my these few days stay in hospital? Cos I suppose to have twin pregnancy but the smaller beanie didn't make it n I started bleeding last sat morning. Gynae scared infection inside or contraction /cramps tat may affect my the other beanie, so he prefers I stay in so tat nurse can closely monitor me.. haiz the moment I discharge today n back home, I start to have more spotting guess bcos I was walking more than when I m in ward. Today scan still see 2 sacs, the smaller sac hasn't fully flow out yet... just worry me tat it will cause infection only..
Rest well. Think the sac will need some time to be expel out. Sorry if I say the wrong thing cox not too sure how it works. But they say sometimes it gets absorb back right?
 
Dolly,
Oh dear..!! What did ur gynea said after scanning?
Ur spotting could be ur body is slowly expel out the smaller sac.
Last few days I also had a lot of spotting aft D&C, due to the holiday I couldn't reach for help.. End up that morning my body expel a huge blood clot... After that the bleeding reduce... So I waited until my next gynea checkup.. He mention is the old blood that stuck and expel out together... Now I'm still have spotting.
 
My gynae did the d&c for me well.. quite clean as in no bleeding or spotting after tat n my af reported almost one month later.... Friday I gg back review w gynae n see wat he says... now I m on duphaston n anti biotics... aso taking tsb medication as well, I watsapp her she said can take but 2-3 hrs apart... so I will drink her medication at 11 before sleep bah
 
My gynae did the d&c for me well.. quite clean as in no bleeding or spotting after tat n my af reported almost one month later.... Friday I gg back review w gynae n see wat he says... now I m on duphaston n anti biotics... aso taking tsb medication as well, I watsapp her she said can take but 2-3 hrs apart... so I will drink her medication at 11 before sleep bah
Dolly u mean ur previous mc right for d&c.
I totally stopped tsb meds.
 
Hi, I am new member who just joined this forum group in hope to find some ways of closure for my miscarriage.

I just had miscarriage on week 8 of my pregnancy this week. The heatbeat had stopped and I have to go through D&C to remove the bb from me. The docs were not positive about the pregnancy because the growth is not normal and docs tried all means to give me medication to sustain the pregnancy.

Even though we know that it was not going to be positive but we still have a small hope for a miracle that the bb will grow well and healthy. Nevertheless, it finally stopped growing. I thought that I can handle the grief since docs already not giving us positive news in the beginning. But when I was admitted to hospital for the procedure, the grief overtook me and I couldn't stop crying when I entered the operating theatre. After the operation, I felt empty.

3 days has past after the D&C, the heart-ache is still there. I am trying to give myself time to grief and find ways to give myself closure so that I can move on but I find it very difficult. Especially now most of my closest friends are also pregnant, the pain keeps coming back.

How do I dissociate myself from the grief whenever someone tells me they are pregnant or even mentioned about babies? Am I the only one who feels that?

Regards,
JuneCSK
 
Ladies, I will like to seek ur advice. A little intro to myself. I had being ttc for 4yrs. Went thru 2IUIs and 2 fresh ivf and 3fet but bfn. Miracle happened to me and i managed to get pregnant naturally however at my 6week, baby was not growing and no hb. Gynae suggested me to do dnc so on 1 apr i did my dnc. Really very upset n devastating to have baby removed me as i waited very long. anw 2day I went for my post dnc review, gynae say everything is clear but he suggest me do hsg. I will like to check whether does any of ur gynae also recommended do hsg after dnc? Hubby feel hsg is just checking d tubes and i did it before starting IUI so he feel no point doing. Now im in a dilemma whether shld i do n will like to seek all of ur advice

Sorry for your loss. I had been ttc for 5 years now. I had 4 failed IUIs, 2 miscarriages which were conceived naturally. One at 9th week, another at 6th.

I had my hsg done before my IUIs. I was not ordered hsg after d&c.
 
Oh... U see tsb as well... So does me. Haha!
Today I was at her clinic.. Saw 3 pregnant lady infront of me.. :(
 
Ya Hopeful, referring to previous case. Now gynae can't do anything just has to let it flow out it disappear or absorb into my body on it's own bah..
 
Hi, I am new member who just joined this forum group in hope to find some ways of closure for my miscarriage.

I just had miscarriage on week 8 of my pregnancy this week. The heatbeat had stopped and I have to go through D&C to remove the bb from me. The docs were not positive about the pregnancy because the growth is not normal and docs tried all means to give me medication to sustain the pregnancy.

Even though we know that it was not going to be positive but we still have a small hope for a miracle that the bb will grow well and healthy. Nevertheless, it finally stopped growing. I thought that I can handle the grief since docs already not giving us positive news in the beginning. But when I was admitted to hospital for the procedure, the grief overtook me and I couldn't stop crying when I entered the operating theatre. After the operation, I felt empty.

3 days has past after the D&C, the heart-ache is still there. I am trying to give myself time to grief and find ways to give myself closure so that I can move on but I find it very difficult. Especially now most of my closest friends are also pregnant, the pain keeps coming back.

How do I dissociate myself from the grief whenever someone tells me they are pregnant or even mentioned about babies? Am I the only one who feels that?

Regards,
JuneCSK

Sorry for your loss. Hugs..

I understand what you are going through. I think its normal. We all feel that way. I had been ttc for 5 years, Tried so many IUis but all failed. Finally preggy naturally but did not last for both times. It was really heartache for me as the pregnancy did not come easy, yet I cannot carry my babies to full term.

As you are grieving now, avoid things that will agitate you further. Some people even stop logging in to facebook as friends will be posting a lot of babies pictures or pregnancy photos etc. Find something you like to do which can help to distract you. For me, when I am doing mini confinement I downloaded a lot of comedy dramas and watched them. And I did my knitting too, at least keep yourself distracted yet you still can rest on the couch.

Are you doing your mini confinement now?
 
Hi, I am new member who just joined this forum group in hope to find some ways of closure for my miscarriage.

I just had miscarriage on week 8 of my pregnancy this week. The heatbeat had stopped and I have to go through D&C to remove the bb from me. The docs were not positive about the pregnancy because the growth is not normal and docs tried all means to give me medication to sustain the pregnancy.

Even though we know that it was not going to be positive but we still have a small hope for a miracle that the bb will grow well and healthy. Nevertheless, it finally stopped growing. I thought that I can handle the grief since docs already not giving us positive news in the beginning. But when I was admitted to hospital for the procedure, the grief overtook me and I couldn't stop crying when I entered the operating theatre. After the operation, I felt empty.

3 days has past after the D&C, the heart-ache is still there. I am trying to give myself time to grief and find ways to give myself closure so that I can move on but I find it very difficult. Especially now most of my closest friends are also pregnant, the pain keeps coming back.

How do I dissociate myself from the grief whenever someone tells me they are pregnant or even mentioned about babies? Am I the only one who feels that?

Regards,
JuneCSK

Dear, I'm sorry to hear abt ur loss... Believe everyone here able to feel you... We been thru what u went thru and understand ur heartache and pain... Sad to say there no closure to this MC... Until now I still feel heartache whenever I think of my first MC... All I can say is Cry as much u want... When time come by, u will feel better.. Talk to us here whenever u feel down... Bcos of all the sisters here, I able to slowly stand up after my 3 MC. Big hug hug!

Try to have a 2 weeks confinement to get back ur health.. Heard that MC is 3 times worse then giving birth.. Try to drink more ginger with black sugar.. It helps to expel winds from ur womb... For me, I couldn't drink any tonic now bcos I get bleeding... But u can try drink red date, longan with ginger water... That to boost ur Qi and blood.
 
Haze, I m seeing tsb 9 may again.. just saw her last wed n heard christopher Lee wentby to pick up fann wong medication in his porsche.
Ya I m glad tsb response to my msg quite promptly, even msg me ytd ask how m I..
 
Hi, I am new member who just joined this forum group in hope to find some ways of closure for my miscarriage.

I just had miscarriage on week 8 of my pregnancy this week. The heatbeat had stopped and I have to go through D&C to remove the bb from me. The docs were not positive about the pregnancy because the growth is not normal and docs tried all means to give me medication to sustain the pregnancy.

Even though we know that it was not going to be positive but we still have a small hope for a miracle that the bb will grow well and healthy. Nevertheless, it finally stopped growing. I thought that I can handle the grief since docs already not giving us positive news in the beginning. But when I was admitted to hospital for the procedure, the grief overtook me and I couldn't stop crying when I entered the operating theatre. After the operation, I felt empty.

3 days has past after the D&C, the heart-ache is still there. I am trying to give myself time to grief and find ways to give myself closure so that I can move on but I find it very difficult. Especially now most of my closest friends are also pregnant, the pain keeps coming back.

How do I dissociate myself from the grief whenever someone tells me they are pregnant or even mentioned about babies? Am I the only one who feels that?

Regards,
JuneCSK
Hugs. I know it's hard. U will need lots of time to heal. When I was first pregnant 3 other colleagues were pregnant at the same time. One of them also miscarried. And when the other 2 delivered the pain will still be there. Cox our babies supposed to be just 2 weeks apart. Till now they still hang out together the kids grow up together. It's tough. Honestly I don't know how I managed it. I was actually close to them and I even touch their tummy. I was envious but happy for them.

I even visited them on their first mth even after I left the company when they just deliver.

I had a total of 5 mcs over 3 years. 4 last year.

I just tell myself being happy for them will give me hope. My turn will come. I started to bake, did Jig saw. Cry at night. When it happened hubby was overseas for work for a mth. It was tough going thru alone.

But all these made me stronger. It was hard. But we will get through this. My mind keep telling me I don't want anyone to go thru the same pain and somehow that kept me sane and was able to be feel happy for my friends.

Now u really need to just grief. And rest well.
 
Hello girls, went to Dr yest n baby has no heartbeat..v devastating esp we tried so long n was our miracle baby...
Any sisters used pills to force miscarriage?

Sorry for your loss. Hugs~~

I never heard about pills. I had 2 MCs, one is d&c, another is natural. There are pros and cons for both. First one I go for d&c for baby at 9th week, gynae advice not to wait for natural as I do not have cramps and spotting at all. She did not want me to feel the pains as well cos she knew conceive is very difficult for us. 2nd time was at 6th, already spotting, so wait for natural. The cramps are really bad, I then understand why my gynae did not want to go through natural for my first mc, cos already very heartache.

I had ttc for 5 years, tried many IUIs but all failed. Finally conceive naturally, but still in vain. I thought after first mc, will conceive more easily like most elderly said, but not for me, sadly. I tried 1.5 years to conceive again but still lost it.
 
Junecsk, tell urself bb loves u n choose to end it early rather than u have to choose to terminate at later stage or lost it later stage. I went thru same thing last year n took awhile to accept it . I avoided all bb shower for the past year n colleague who knows I just tell them straight that I m not ready n scared I will break down at the celebration.
It does takes time to recover. When I knew my colleague lost her bb 1 mth before she due I told myself perhaps god n bb dun want to b cruel to me, ends it earlier than later stage. I will definitely crashed if I m her..
 
Haiz! I'm now at TCM... Beside me there a pregnant lady together with her husband... Her tummy so big, causing me so depress... She having full makeup with fake eyelashes and even drink cold water... Haiz! Why life so unfair... During my pregnancy, I dun even dare to put much makeup and dun even say eat or drink liang food.

Ya, really so unfair. Seen a lot of such cases, yet we have to avoid this, avoid that. I just knew a cousin-in-law is preggy, she smoked 2 packs of cigarettes everyday.
 
Cigarettes! Wah Lao is like eating poison.

Ya, I used to know that she smoked but did not know she smoked so much till we went on a short holiday today. She and her hubby bought 10 packs of cigarettes at airport. Within 4 days, gone. I was shocked. Yet she can get preggy so easily. I am happy for her, but just feel life is unfair.
 
This thread is moving very fast.. but it is not a good thing :(

ive come to realise that MC is very common with women nowadays. i think its becos of our diet, lifestyle and environment....
we will grief about it, but we should move on. Try to have happy positive thoughts in our mind, so we wont feel so miserable. I psychoed myself saying that we can TTC again after MC, and i only looked fw to AF and a fresh new cycle. Well, luck wasnt on my side. People say we are very fertile after a MC but it doesnt happen to me.

We have been ttc very hard, temping, testing OPK, taking TCM, take oral med and it is really difficult to achieve a BFP. Natural conception doesnt work for me, IUI doesnt work, IVF also failed on me and I finally had a blighted ovum.. we all have our very dificult journey. Some BFP easily but cannot keep the bb. For people like me so hard to even have a BFP .. just so painful.

Let's hold hands together, and pray for our little rainbow soon!!
 
This thread is moving very fast.. but it is not a good thing :(

ive come to realise that MC is very common with women nowadays. i think its becos of our diet, lifestyle and environment....
we will grief about it, but we should move on. Try to have happy positive thoughts in our mind, so we wont feel so miserable. I psychoed myself saying that we can TTC again after MC, and i only looked fw to AF and a fresh new cycle. Well, luck wasnt on my side. People say we are very fertile after a MC but it doesnt happen to me.

We have been ttc very hard, temping, testing OPK, taking TCM, take oral med and it is really difficult to achieve a BFP. Natural conception doesnt work for me, IUI doesnt work, IVF also failed on me and I finally had a blighted ovum.. we all have our very dificult journey. Some BFP easily but cannot keep the bb. For people like me so hard to even have a BFP .. just so painful.

Let's hold hands together, and pray for our little rainbow soon!!

Same sentiments. Why conceiving is so difficult?? I had tried everything, even now quit my job already, just doesn't work. Probably stress?? Both times when I conceived naturally were all unexpected ones. I will just be good and take all those supplements/medicine etc, then I will start ttc in June again!!

Jiayou, Ladies!!
 
Haze, I m seeing tsb 9 may again.. just saw her last wed n heard christopher Lee wentby to pick up fann wong medication in his porsche.
Ya I m glad tsb response to my msg quite promptly, even msg me ytd ask how m I..

I be going on the 19 Mar... The moment she see me, she so sad for my lost and keep console me.
Tsb so sweet to u... All the time we will call her... Seldom use SMS bcos we know she very busy to reply fast.
Been trying to avoid looking at Fann Wong pregnancy news, making me upset... Tot I can have a same year baby as her. Silly me... Hehe!
 
Ya, really so unfair. Seen a lot of such cases, yet we have to avoid this, avoid that. I just knew a cousin-in-law is preggy, she smoked 2 packs of cigarettes everyday.

2 pack of cigarette!! Omg..!! Did she try to quit when realize?
I have a classmate, every min can see a cigarette in her hand... Still she able give birth to 2 handsome son too.
What a life we had! Pout.... Been wondering what has I done wrong to deserve such treatment.. Haiz!
 
Thanks princess, i went through one so iui, scheduled for ivf but got pregnant naturally,and well lost it...

It is so consoling to be in this thread...i feel that i m not alone...seems like most of us had a hard time trying to conceive...n yet after a miracle bb/bbs we lost it/them.
I have a quote given by a fren who once had ectopic, n got twins eventually after ivf:
Whatever doesn't kill us make us stronger
Let's all grief together n jia you together n bfp again soon to healthy full term babies :)
 
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2 pack of cigarette!! Omg..!! Did she try to quit when realize?
I have a classmate, every min can see a cigarette in her hand... Still she able give birth to 2 handsome son too.
What a life we had! Pout.... Been wondering what has I done wrong to deserve such treatment.. Haiz!

Yup, I think she is quitting now. How to quit suddenly with such strong addict, I wonder? Never mind, we know we are the chosen ones to go the hard way, to be stronger for our rainbow babies. Somehow, there is a path for us.
 
Thanks princess, i went through one so iui, scheduled for ivf but got pregnant naturally,and well lost it...

It is so consoling to be in this thread...i feel that i m not alone...seems like most of us had a hard time trying to conceive...n yet after a miracle bb, we lost it...
I have a quote given by a fren who once had ectopic, n got twins eventually after ivf:
Whatever doesn't kill us make us stronger
Let's all grief together n jia you together n bfp again soon to healthy full term babies :)

Yup, its great to have this thread. You can rant and talk whenever you want. We are here to support one another. No one understands us like all ladies here do.

JIAYOU!!!
 
Hey ladies, my gynae called me this morning and said my report for the D&C procedure is out! He said the result showed that there is some chromosome abnormality and he suggested me and my hubby to get some tests done. So I told him I've actually planned to visit the specialist at NUH next week and he said ok and ask me to get a copy of the report from him.

So... Chromosome abnormality... Still got hope?? :eek::confused:
Chromosome abnormality need to do blood test for yourself and your hub to see problem come from mummy or daddy...
The solutions is ivf cos ivf they will take only healthy sperm n egg but b4 that hub need to do sperm to c any abnormal sperm eg is that any incomplete sperms...mbe they will suggest this solution ba...
 
Chromosome abnormality need to do blood test for yourself and your hub to see problem come from mummy or daddy...
The solutions is ivf cos ivf they will take only healthy sperm n egg but b4 that hub need to do sperm to c any abnormal sperm eg is that any incomplete sperms...mbe they will suggest this solution ba...
But ivf also got risks like blighted ovum and mc too. I asked abt ivf cox I thought it can prevent ectopic since the embryo can be placed at the uterus for implantation. But apparently ivf also can get ectopic. Maybe no one best solution? Instead prof mahesh and dr shelia voted against me to go IUI or ivf they since I can conceive naturally. Cox the chances of mc is actually higher. They say if I continue to proceed with natural the success rate for me to have a baby is higher. Though I was determined to go for IUI already cox I didn't want to wait. Then it happens I was lucky to conceive. But whether can last or not is one thing. Sigh everyday living in fear.
 
But ivf also got risks like blighted ovum and mc too. I asked abt ivf cox I thought it can prevent ectopic since the embryo can be placed at the uterus for implantation. But apparently ivf also can get ectopic. Maybe no one best solution? Instead prof mahesh and dr shelia voted against me to go IUI or ivf they since I can conceive naturally. Cox the chances of mc is actually higher. They say if I continue to proceed with natural the success rate for me to have a baby is higher. Though I was determined to go for IUI already cox I didn't want to wait. Then it happens I was lucky to conceive. But whether can last or not is one thing. Sigh everyday living in fear.
Don worry abt ur beanie is gg to stick to u to full term ..
 
Hi, I am new member who just joined this forum group in hope to find some ways of closure for my miscarriage.

I just had miscarriage on week 8 of my pregnancy this week. The heatbeat had stopped and I have to go through D&C to remove the bb from me. The docs were not positive about the pregnancy because the growth is not normal and docs tried all means to give me medication to sustain the pregnancy.

Even though we know that it was not going to be positive but we still have a small hope for a miracle that the bb will grow well and healthy. Nevertheless, it finally stopped growing. I thought that I can handle the grief since docs already not giving us positive news in the beginning. But when I was admitted to hospital for the procedure, the grief overtook me and I couldn't stop crying when I entered the operating theatre. After the operation, I felt empty.

3 days has past after the D&C, the heart-ache is still there. I am trying to give myself time to grief and find ways to give myself closure so that I can move on but I find it very difficult. Especially now most of my closest friends are also pregnant, the pain keeps coming back.

How do I dissociate myself from the grief whenever someone tells me they are pregnant or even mentioned about babies? Am I the only one who feels that?

Regards,
JuneCSK

Hugs .. i deleted all things associated with trying to conceive like charts dates and preg apps .. I also unfollow my frd fb pages tt esp w alot of new born pics.. avoid anything tt may cause me to be sad .

I already cried finished my quota when my spotting condition changes to red color and some clots.. . I decided not to cry anymore if possible. .

Distracted myself with running man when I begin spotting. .

I was upset during my 1st mc when my ex colleague tummy is growing day by day whereas mine is flat .. when I tok to her i avoid lying my eyes on her tummy . I feel sooner or later will be immune to it.

Take care during this period of time and nurse ur health to gd condition b4 trying again ...
 
@dolly what a stupid idiotic nurse!! Sooo mean n insensitive!
@bel doc didnt give me antibiotics...just the pills to insert vaginally... Given 4 pills in total...was told to insert every 12hours..but this morn lots blood clots ,i duno if i m supposed to continue the inserts,couldn't get the dr office too...ended up 6pm managed to call in n they said need to continue n complete the course...when i inserted the second one just now ,abut yucky can feel the menses thingy...I still have cramps here n there... Up to now i m still thinking if going D&C is better than pills?
Actually i m like u, i wun wan to cry in front of my frens too...maybe end day after crying out i feel they wun understd as well? Now i oso dun dare to cry in front of my hubby...i know that if i cry he will b sadder...he is quite affected by this, he nearly fainted but luckily never when doc said bad news....i didnt cry in dr's office too...but till now, find it a cruel joke...after trying so long finally miracle now it's gone...if u really going to collect ur passport, maybe must wear long sleeves n long pants...as though confinement like that, dont b cold....
@rrmama hugs...

I noe wad u mean abt the yucky thing. . Tt shd be e sac we hv inside us.. quite gross and not for fainthearted ones. I see liao also abit like omg ... tho is my 2nd time seeing it. . I cannot cry ltr I scare i can't stop haha. My frd v nice tell me her shoulders is big enuff for me. My dh told me he is not sad coz there no bb yet then I wondered why i cried buckets .. muz because of The tww hopes I hv pinned on to this pregnancy etc..

D&C hv risk of damaging the lining according to my gynae .. Hence he suggested pill orally tho I prefer natural but im gg taiwan next thur don wish to see red dripping so slow.. so I heed hb advice straight forward n tk the pill don waste time.

Since u on it already juz complete it .. maybe u can check w ur gynae if u shd tk antibiotic to prevent infection.

This morning the tot of tking the pills orally seems v melodrama to me. I said gd bye to my tummy and look at the clock b4 i pop it in my mouth to dissolve under my tongue .. im so silly right. ..

The cramps was real painful. . I applied essential oil lavender + Ylang ylang to soothe my cramps nw .. and it helps alot.

I muz hv LS until I went blurred my hb told me is fri collection of passport not thur haha. I nv wear long pants n sleeve at hme leh.. will try to wear when im gg out.

i juz whack the pig trotter ginger vinegar 2 bowls n other confinement dishes. .
 
But ivf also got risks like blighted ovum and mc too. I asked abt ivf cox I thought it can prevent ectopic since the embryo can be placed at the uterus for implantation. But apparently ivf also can get ectopic. Maybe no one best solution? Instead prof mahesh and dr shelia voted against me to go IUI or ivf they since I can conceive naturally. Cox the chances of mc is actually higher. They say if I continue to proceed with natural the success rate for me to have a baby is higher. Though I was determined to go for IUI already cox I didn't want to wait. Then it happens I was lucky to conceive. But whether can last or not is one thing. Sigh everyday living in fear.
Err your case n glacier case is diff cos hers chromosome abnormality so natural conceive is very dangerous and risky to her as we can't control which sperm and egg will match as in if not healthy then the same thing will happen again and again...that could be the solution for chromosome abnormalities but blighted ovum or ectopic is something which can't prevented just hope for the best...at least something can do in ttc journey...
Don scare yourself everything will be fine and jiayou you sure can overcome and walk till end of the journey :)
 
Err your case n glacier case is diff cos hers chromosome abnormality so natural conceive is very dangerous and risky to her as we can't control which sperm and egg will match as in if not healthy then the same thing will happen again and again...that could be the solution for chromosome abnormalities but blighted ovum or ectopic is something which can't prevented just hope for the best...at least something can do in ttc journey...
Don scare yourself everything will be fine and jiayou you sure can overcome and walk till end of the journey :)
I know but prof mahesh and dr shelia says for early losses usually are all caused by chromosome abnormalities. I guess there are many diff types bah. And on the net they probably generalise it everything under chromosome abnormalities. Cox they can't really give a definite answers to why miscarriage besides that. Blighted ovum is one of chromosome abnormalities as well.
 
Hi, I am new member who just joined this forum group in hope to find some ways of closure for my miscarriage.

I just had miscarriage on week 8 of my pregnancy this week. The heatbeat had stopped and I have to go through D&C to remove the bb from me. The docs were not positive about the pregnancy because the growth is not normal and docs tried all means to give me medication to sustain the pregnancy.

Even though we know that it was not going to be positive but we still have a small hope for a miracle that the bb will grow well and healthy. Nevertheless, it finally stopped growing. I thought that I can handle the grief since docs already not giving us positive news in the beginning. But when I was admitted to hospital for the procedure, the grief overtook me and I couldn't stop crying when I entered the operating theatre. After the operation, I felt empty.

3 days has past after the D&C, the heart-ache is still there. I am trying to give myself time to grief and find ways to give myself closure so that I can move on but I find it very difficult. Especially now most of my closest friends are also pregnant, the pain keeps coming back.

How do I dissociate myself from the grief whenever someone tells me they are pregnant or even mentioned about babies? Am I the only one who feels that?

Regards,
JuneCSK
Hey June I know how you feel and the feeling is really horrible! We've been there before I believe all of us here did! For my first time it happened I was just continuous thinking what did I do wrong isit becos I scalded my leg that cause my bb life or 101 reasons to blame myself and my hub. The pain knowing people around you can go thru easy pregnancy journey just makes you feel very unfair about it and why me? The sight of kids just make you feel doubtful of if I will ever have one of my own. However I slowly learn to self recovery self console and of cos coming here to pour out my sadness! One day I believe our rainbow baby will be in our arms ok so don't worry! It's your first mc? It might just be bad luck and nothing serious have a mini confinement and take good care of your self! Cry all you want! I'm too still healing and overcoming the fear! Jiayou!
 
any successful pregnant mummy after MC ?
how long is the gap?
i didnt do any d&c cause its natural MC. gy also didnt check/scan my tummy is it ok? how would i know everything is purge out from me?

Not for me, conceive is not easy in the first place. After first mc, I conceived again after 1.5 years, but end up in mc again. Now is 1.5 years after second mc, still no news yet.
 
I remembered when I lost my first baby, I gave myself a new hair style and a new look to start afresh. Thinking back i think it's quite stupid cos I am still trying to grow out my hair after 2.5 years. But I guess the most impt thing is to do whatever that makes us happy. Dun bother about what others say. Fill ourselves with happy thoughts. That's what keeps me going then.
 
any successful pregnant mummy after MC ?
how long is the gap?
i didnt do any d&c cause its natural MC. gy also didnt check/scan my tummy is it ok? how would i know everything is purge out from me?
I did get pregnant after that but still mc.

my most recent mc is a chem preg in Dec 2013. now im preggie again, into my 9 weeks liao. hopefully this is a success story in 7mths time. up till now still okay. but dont want to say anything to jinx it.
 
any successful pregnant mummy after MC ?
how long is the gap?
i didnt do any d&c cause its natural MC. gy also didnt check/scan my tummy is it ok? how would i know everything is purge out from me?

There are success story in this forum, but it takes time to recover our body well.
During my first, I took nearly 3 years... 2nd took me abt 1 year... 3th took me less 6 mth.. But they ended in MC.
Best is go back for gynea checkup ard 2 week time n have a scan... By the scan shd able to tell if purge out.. Some gynea will advise blood test.
 
Sorry for your loss. Hugs..

I understand what you are going through. I think its normal. We all feel that way. I had been ttc for 5 years, Tried so many IUis but all failed. Finally preggy naturally but did not last for both times. It was really heartache for me as the pregnancy did not come easy, yet I cannot carry my babies to full term.

As you are grieving now, avoid things that will agitate you further. Some people even stop logging in to facebook as friends will be posting a lot of babies pictures or pregnancy photos etc. Find something you like to do which can help to distract you. For me, when I am doing mini confinement I downloaded a lot of comedy dramas and watched them. And I did my knitting too, at least keep yourself distracted yet you still can rest on the couch.

Are you doing your mini confinement now?

Hi Princessleopard, thank you for the advice. My husband and I have been trying for more than 1 yr and finally got pregnant but ended up as miscarriage.

Yes, I am doing a mini confinement now. My mum cooks food with lots of ginger and sesame oil. I am also planning to go to traditional chinese medicine after my antibiotics are completed to nurse my health back. How long should I be doing the mini confinement?

I am trying to watch lots of shows to distract myself. But every morning, when I wake up, I will grief. The pain comes every morning when I wake up from my bed. I am also avoiding my closest friends who are all currently pregnant now and all every excited for the birth of their child. I do hope I can move on soon.

Are you still trying to conceive? How do you manage to move on and convince yourself to try again? I think you are a very strong woman despite so failures, you have the strong courage to try again.
 
Dear, I'm sorry to hear abt ur loss... Believe everyone here able to feel you... We been thru what u went thru and understand ur heartache and pain... Sad to say there no closure to this MC... Until now I still feel heartache whenever I think of my first MC... All I can say is Cry as much u want... When time come by, u will feel better.. Talk to us here whenever u feel down... Bcos of all the sisters here, I able to slowly stand up after my 3 MC. Big hug hug!

Try to have a 2 weeks confinement to get back ur health.. Heard that MC is 3 times worse then giving birth.. Try to drink more ginger with black sugar.. It helps to expel winds from ur womb... For me, I couldn't drink any tonic now bcos I get bleeding... But u can try drink red date, longan with ginger water... That to boost ur Qi and blood.

Hi Haze02,

Thank you for the advice. I am drinking lots of red date with logan and ginger and also eating food with lots of ginger as well. I think all women in this forum are strong women who have the courage to try again despite failures. I hope I can gain that courage soon to try again. I am currently 34 and docs all say because of age, MC risk is higher. That is really not encouraging to me.
 
Hugs. I know it's hard. U will need lots of time to heal. When I was first pregnant 3 other colleagues were pregnant at the same time. One of them also miscarried. And when the other 2 delivered the pain will still be there. Cox our babies supposed to be just 2 weeks apart. Till now they still hang out together the kids grow up together. It's tough. Honestly I don't know how I managed it. I was actually close to them and I even touch their tummy. I was envious but happy for them.

I even visited them on their first mth even after I left the company when they just deliver.

I had a total of 5 mcs over 3 years. 4 last year.

I just tell myself being happy for them will give me hope. My turn will come. I started to bake, did Jig saw. Cry at night. When it happened hubby was overseas for work for a mth. It was tough going thru alone.

But all these made me stronger. It was hard. But we will get through this. My mind keep telling me I don't want anyone to go thru the same pain and somehow that kept me sane and was able to be feel happy for my friends.

Now u really need to just grief. And rest well.

Dear Hopeful_mum,

Thanks for the advice. Yes, it is tough. I still have the sadness and pains when I step into the operating room for operations. I still grief every morning when I wake up. But I am not talking my friends as they are pregnant and I dun know what to tell them as well. It hurts when I heard about their excitement and happiness of having their babies. Thus, I felt more alone. Husband is grieving too but he get over it faster than I do. I tell myself that this unsuccessful pregnancy, although brings me pain and sadness. It also gave me hope. The hope that both my husband and I are fertile and can try again. Before this we were concerned that we maybe infertile.

Thank you for the support. Yes, I am still grieving everyday, sometimes the sadness just hits me suddenly.
 
Dear Hopeful_mum,

Thanks for the advice. Yes, it is tough. I still have the sadness and pains when I step into the operating room for operations. I still grief every morning when I wake up. But I am not talking my friends as they are pregnant and I dun know what to tell them as well. It hurts when I heard about their excitement and happiness of having their babies. Thus, I felt more alone. Husband is grieving too but he get over it faster than I do. I tell myself that this unsuccessful pregnancy, although brings me pain and sadness. It also gave me hope. The hope that both my husband and I are fertile and can try again. Before this we were concerned that we maybe infertile.

Thank you for the support. Yes, I am still grieving everyday, sometimes the sadness just hits me suddenly.
Hugs take ur time. Don't worry abt age. I'm 33 and still waiting for my first rainbow baby. Fann Wong 43 also can have child I'm sure we can :)
 
Hugs .. i deleted all things associated with trying to conceive like charts dates and preg apps .. I also unfollow my frd fb pages tt esp w alot of new born pics.. avoid anything tt may cause me to be sad .

I already cried finished my quota when my spotting condition changes to red color and some clots.. . I decided not to cry anymore if possible. .

Distracted myself with running man when I begin spotting. .

I was upset during my 1st mc when my ex colleague tummy is growing day by day whereas mine is flat .. when I tok to her i avoid lying my eyes on her tummy . I feel sooner or later will be immune to it.

Take care during this period of time and nurse ur health to gd condition b4 trying again ...

Hi Bel_vodka,

Thank you. I did the same as what you did as well. I still cry a lot. I feel more lonely when my closest friends are pregnant and I am isolating myself. I am even avoiding my nephew and niece for a while because they may trigger my sadness, though I love them very much but they are not mine. I will nurse my health back, thinking of going to TCM for nurse my health back and try again. Thank you.
 
Hey June I know how you feel and the feeling is really horrible! We've been there before I believe all of us here did! For my first time it happened I was just continuous thinking what did I do wrong isit becos I scalded my leg that cause my bb life or 101 reasons to blame myself and my hub. The pain knowing people around you can go thru easy pregnancy journey just makes you feel very unfair about it and why me? The sight of kids just make you feel doubtful of if I will ever have one of my own. However I slowly learn to self recovery self console and of cos coming here to pour out my sadness! One day I believe our rainbow baby will be in our arms ok so don't worry! It's your first mc? It might just be bad luck and nothing serious have a mini confinement and take good care of your self! Cry all you want! I'm too still healing and overcoming the fear! Jiayou!

Hi Mangohope,

Thank you for your advice. I am crying whenever it hits me. There is always some point in the day, sadness hits and I just start to cry alone. Husband has been very supportive but somehow this kind of grief is not something I can let go so fast. This is my first MC. I actually went to 2 gyneas just to have 2nd opinion. Docs keep saying something is wrong, that is why heartbeat has stopped but it is not due to me. It's the genetics that is not well-formed. I am avoiding my nephew and niece whom I love a lot just to avoiding hitting myself with sadness. I am trying to overcome this and move on soon. Definitely we will try again because our docs say that I am not young anymore so cannot wait. I am currently 34. Hope you can heal soon too.
 
Hugs take ur time. Don't worry abt age. I'm 33 and still waiting for my first rainbow baby. Fann Wong 43 also can have child I'm sure we can :)

Yes, I am 34. I will be positive again, I hope. But docs are not assurance, keep saying my age is not getting young. That is so depressing to hear.
 
ur docs not encouraging.my friend has a first child when she was 38. all okay one, but we need to be positive to achieve the goal :)
 
Hi Princessleopard, thank you for the advice. My husband and I have been trying for more than 1 yr and finally got pregnant but ended up as miscarriage.

Yes, I am doing a mini confinement now. My mum cooks food with lots of ginger and sesame oil. I am also planning to go to traditional chinese medicine after my antibiotics are completed to nurse my health back. How long should I be doing the mini confinement?

I am trying to watch lots of shows to distract myself. But every morning, when I wake up, I will grief. The pain comes every morning when I wake up from my bed. I am also avoiding my closest friends who are all currently pregnant now and all every excited for the birth of their child. I do hope I can move on soon.

Are you still trying to conceive? How do you manage to move on and convince yourself to try again? I think you are a very strong woman despite so failures, you have the strong courage to try again.

Mini confinement usually about 2 weeks, but it also depends how long is your hospitalization leave. Cos once report back to work you won't be able to do confinement as well.

I had been trying after my 2nd mc, till cny. Cos Apr and May are busy months for me, need to travel a lot. So, currently not ttc-ing. I will be starting engine in June. :)

The first mc hit me badly, as it really came unexpected. I did not had any cramps or spotting, pregnancy symptoms very strong. Whenever doc say baby not growing since first checkup and HB stopped. I was devastated. I cried for one whole week, just lie on couch, watch tv, do confinement. Moreover its Christmas period, so I keep mum, dun want to spoil others' mood. After confinement, I went for a haircut, cut away my long lock of 10 over years, started anew!

Nobody can totally get over this, cos its still our babies afterall. Occasionally, I still think of my babies. Perhaps having a good closure helps? Cry all you want, rant it all out, then keep all the baby stuffs away and move on. For me, I put all the ultrasounds pictures in a box and I customize a cross with their names and dates on it. That's is what I can do for them for now. Once I closed the box, I told myself I had to move on.

You can be strong too, I never thought I am that strong emotionally. I learnt it through the hard way too. But I got a lot of supports from the ladies here. Else, I dunno how can I handle these alone.

Feel free to speak up here, its better to say it out than to keep it to yourself. :)
 
Thank you all ladies for the support and encouragement.

My doc keep saying I am 34 and cannot wait too long, ask me to try again after I recover and give me and my hubby stress. Then he said we dun stress ourselves. Duh!! It is so contradicting.

I am given 2 weeks MC, so my confinement will be around 2 weeks I guess. I think I am recovering slowly, but whenever people mentions about their pregnancy, it is like a slap in my face. That I guess I have to find a way to overcome.

I have keep all my scans pictures away, dun really know what should do with it. I am also giving this pregnancy a name "HOPE", just to remind myself that this pregnancy although no successful but it gives us hope. The hope that we know we can be conceived again. So that rather I focus on the sad things, I try to focus on the positive things that this pregnancy gave me. I also HOPE that all the strong ladies in this forum who experienced that same pain will eventually have their wish come true too. To have a cute healthy babies of our own.

Thank you all ladies. I feel so much better after reading your posts.

By the way, anyone has good recommendation on gynecologist? We are thinking of changing our current one because our current gyne does not believe in doing test, just keep telling us to keep trying and no need to do any tests to check if there is any problem. And also my hubby does not have a "good feeling" about this gynea anymore because of this unsuccessful pregnancy. He said maybe we are not "fated" with our current gyne.
 


Thank you all ladies for the support and encouragement.

My doc keep saying I am 34 and cannot wait too long, ask me to try again after I recover and give me and my hubby stress. Then he said we dun stress ourselves. Duh!! It is so contradicting.

I am given 2 weeks MC, so my confinement will be around 2 weeks I guess. I think I am recovering slowly, but whenever people mentions about their pregnancy, it is like a slap in my face. That I guess I have to find a way to overcome.

I have keep all my scans pictures away, dun really know what should do with it. I am also giving this pregnancy a name "HOPE", just to remind myself that this pregnancy although no successful but it gives us hope. The hope that we know we can be conceived again. So that rather I focus on the sad things, I try to focus on the positive things that this pregnancy gave me. I also HOPE that all the strong ladies in this forum who experienced that same pain will eventually have their wish come true too. To have a cute healthy babies of our own.

Thank you all ladies. I feel so much better after reading your posts.

By the way, anyone has good recommendation on gynecologist? We are thinking of changing our current one because our current gyne does not believe in doing test, just keep telling us to keep trying and no need to do any tests to check if there is any problem. And also my hubby does not have a "good feeling" about this gynea anymore because of this unsuccessful pregnancy. He said maybe we are not "fated" with our current gyne.

I am seeing Dr Joycelyn Wong At TMC. Nice lady, very patient and sensitive. I read that her delivery and stitching skills is good as well. But her waiting time can be quite long (1-2 hours) if you go during peak hours. She believes western and eastern should work hand in hand in the journey of ttc, cos I knew some gynae objected to tcm.
 

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