IVF/ICSI Support Group

I'm scheduled to do my first IVF in late Dec..can't help but feel stressed esp when my friends around me started getting preg one by one. I did iui previously but failed
 


Ginny_minnie said:
Ya.. Still waiting for my menses to come this month. Meanwhile, just trying naturally. Plotting BBT and taking OPK, so that I roughly know when I'm ovulating and minimize any surprises during natural FET.
Click to expand...
All the best! Keep staying positive and jia you :)
 
Hi ladies, need some advice here. my first AF came before BT (failed fresh cycle) and lasted for bout 12 days last mth. I understand the menstrual cycle may not be the same as regular ones after ivf. Normally how long can i expect my current mth AF to arrive? Is been 30 odd days since the 1st day of my last menses.
 
Pinkiebb said:
I'm scheduled to do my first IVF in late Dec..can't help but feel stressed esp when my friends around me started getting preg one by one. I did iui previously but failed
Click to expand...
You are not alone sister. Yes, we may need a little more time and more help to have a bb to complete our families. So be it. That is no longer in our control to change. Try to focus on your own goal and what is now within your means to get there with your hubby and doctor/nurses. There are many inspiring sisters here to support each other. If you share, someone will listen (read) and if you have questions, many will share from their experience. What is more comforting than having the support of sisters here who can truly get you going through this journey.
I hope you stay strong, be kind to yourself, focus on your health and build positive energy to fight through this journey. Stay positive, just do your best and jia you!
 
babymonkey said:
Hi ladies, need some advice here. my first AF came before BT (failed fresh cycle) and lasted for bout 12 days last mth. I understand the menstrual cycle may not be the same as regular ones after ivf. Normally how long can i expect my current mth AF to arrive? Is been 30 odd days since the 1st day of my last menses.
Click to expand...
Dearie, there is really no standard because every body is different. Also the protocol for every cycle is different and each of us will react/ recover differently even with the same protocol.
If you know roughly when you last ovulated after last AF, it is pretty standard around 14 days after ovulation you can expect AF.
For me, after being through 3 cycles, I tend to have one or two anovulatory (no ovulation) cycles immediately after a failed fresh cycle esp. when very high dose of stims was used. In such case, I know I will always have a shorter cycle (range 20 to 27 days compared to my normal ovulatory cycle of 33 +/- 1 days) because my uterine lining cannot sustain and will shred very soon without adequate rise in progesterone due to no ovulation.
However I have also heard others who experience a longer cycle immediately after a failed cycle. So there's really no standard answer. Just know that it is normal to have an unusual cycle after failed fresh IVF. Try not to stress over it. Keep healthy and rest well, stay positive and your AF will come eventually.
 
DawnBB said:
You are not alone sister. Yes, we may need a little more time and more help to have a bb to complete our families. So be it. That is no longer in our control to change. Try to focus on your own goal and what is now within your means to get there with your hubby and doctor/nurses. There are many inspiring sisters here to support each other. If you share, someone will listen (read) and if you have questions, many will share from their experience. What is more comforting than having the support of sisters here who can truly get you going through this journey.
I hope you stay strong, be kind to yourself, focus on your health and build positive energy to fight through this journey. Stay positive, just do your best and jia you!
Click to expand...
Thanks Dawnbb, this Is indeed a great forum for us to seek solace and support. Cause sometimes even our close friends won't understand how we really feel when it comes to pregnancy
 
Pinkiebb said:
Thanks Dawnbb, this Is indeed a great forum for us to seek solace and support. Cause sometimes even our close friends won't understand how we really feel when it comes to pregnancy
Click to expand...
Indeed this a great forum where sis here lends support to one another.
My friend say i am a hen, after hearing that i had 25 eggs retrieved. She meant as a joke, but i feel hurt. How many jabs and supplements and stress do i have to take to go through this journey?

Sis who has never gone through what we have, will never understand, although i keep hearing friends say "i understand".
Who understand better than we do.
 
rainflower said:
Indeed this a great forum where sis here lends support to one another.
My friend say i am a hen, after hearing that i had 25 eggs retrieved. She meant as a joke, but i feel hurt. How many jabs and supplements and stress do i have to take to go through this journey?

Sis who has never gone through what we have, will never understand, although i keep hearing friends say "i understand".
Who understand better than we do.
Click to expand...
Ya often we hear friends asking when is our turn to have kids or ask us to relax sure will come.. sometimes can't help but feeling stressed ah. Rather not hear.
 
rainflower said:
Indeed this a great forum where sis here lends support to one another.
My friend say i am a hen, after hearing that i had 25 eggs retrieved. She meant as a joke, but i feel hurt. How many jabs and supplements and stress do i have to take to go through this journey?

Sis who has never gone through what we have, will never understand, although i keep hearing friends say "i understand".
Who understand better than we do.
Click to expand...

No... they won't understand how it feels to have to poke the needles into your own belly every day and feel the acidic potion sear through you and incapacitate you while the medicine is sinking in. Neither would they appreciate what it means to have our ovaries swollen more than 10 times their normal size (think, instead of one follicle, 10 - 12 follicles on each side?), thereby causing stuffiness in the chest and a sense that you can't breathe well. They also don't understand how horrendous it is to have to go through all this, only to take the chance that the cycle may be cancelled because the lining may not be satisfactorily thick. They also don't understand the fatigue we have to battle as we undergo the stimulation and still having to cope with work with a smile every day.

They don't understand that 25 eggs means that our natural fertility has been reduced by a possible 25 months or more (Read: Earlier onset of menopause?) They don't understand the pain we feel when out of 25 eggs, only a fraction of the eggs get fertilised. They don't know the loss we go through when out of the fertilised eggs, only a couple are deemed fit for transfer. They would never understand how it feels to start on the IVF journey, accepting that we have only less than a 50% chance of success.

They would never know the anxiety that plagues us every night even after we successfully conceive. Because this child is a product of numerous painful jabs and countless prayers. Because failure means we've gone through all those pain for nothing, and may have to go through the same pain again.

No, they won't understand.
 
DawnBB said:
Dearie, there is really no standard because every body is different. Also the protocol for every cycle is different and each of us will react/ recover differently even with the same protocol.
If you know roughly when you last ovulated after last AF, it is pretty standard around 14 days after ovulation you can expect AF.
For me, after being through 3 cycles, I tend to have one or two anovulatory (no ovulation) cycles immediately after a failed fresh cycle esp. when very high dose of stims was used. In such case, I know I will always have a shorter cycle (range 20 to 27 days compared to my normal ovulatory cycle of 33 +/- 1 days) because my uterine lining cannot sustain and will shred very soon without adequate rise in progesterone due to no ovulation.
However I have also heard others who experience a longer cycle immediately after a failed cycle. So there's really no standard answer. Just know that it is normal to have an unusual cycle after failed fresh IVF. Try not to stress over it. Keep healthy and rest well, stay positive and your AF will come eventually.
Click to expand...

Thx for sharing.. i was also wondering if my ovulation could have come earlier because my bbt dip way before my actual/usual ovulation period. Hmmm... maybe there was no ovulation too as there was once or twice i did the opk and there is no indication of it coming. What i hate is wasting money testing and always getting a negative plus BD becomes so mechanical. :(
 
littlemonkies said:
No... they won't understand how it feels to have to poke the needles into your own belly every day and feel the acidic potion sear through you and incapacitate you while the medicine is sinking in. Neither would they appreciate what it means to have our ovaries swollen more than 10 times their normal size (think, instead of one follicle, 10 - 12 follicles on each side?), thereby causing stuffiness in the chest and a sense that you can't breathe well. They also don't understand how horrendous it is to have to go through all this, only to take the chance that the cycle may be cancelled because the lining may not be satisfactorily thick. They also don't understand the fatigue we have to battle as we undergo the stimulation and still having to cope with work with a smile every day.

They don't understand that 25 eggs means that our natural fertility has been reduced by a possible 25 months or more (Read: Earlier onset of menopause?) They don't understand the pain we feel when out of 25 eggs, only a fraction of the eggs get fertilised. They don't know the loss we go through when out of the fertilised eggs, only a couple are deemed fit for transfer. They would never understand how it feels to start on the IVF journey, accepting that we have only less than a 50% chance of success.

They would never know the anxiety that plagues us every night even after we successfully conceive. Because this child is a product of numerous painful jabs and countless prayers. Because failure means we've gone through all those pain for nothing, and may have to go through the same pain again.

No, they won't understand.
Click to expand...


Totally agree with you littlemonkies!
I've well-meaning friends who tried to comfort and support me after my bfn however the words they said really showed they cant empathized with us and our situation, such as 'be relaxed and u will get preggie'.. 'dun overthink of having a bb'... 'if it will come it will come'..

I appreciate them to want to cheer me up and yes, maybe im overly sensitive but i dont think they shd say that as it seems to downplay our predicament.

Another friend who went thru 3 cycles and her DD is going 5yo didnt use those words... really, simply talking to her (no consolation or comfortinf words) can actually perked me up and strengthened me to look forward.

Its true... when you are not in other shoes, you'll never really comprehend their situation, emotional and physical condition.
 
Does any of your hubbies smoke? Mine picked up a few months ago due to stress. He avoids letting me see but i could smell. It makes me frustrated that im going through these medications, jabs while he is just... I dunno... Really annoying...
 
clairechua said:
Does any of your hubbies smoke? Mine picked up a few months ago due to stress. He avoids letting me see but i could smell. It makes me frustrated that im going through these medications, jabs while he is just... I dunno... Really annoying...
Click to expand...

Do some exercise or massage to beat the stress.
Smoking will affect sperm health.
Maybe both of u can go for a stroll before dinner?
 
had my ET yesterday morning. and been walking around and moving around in home cooking, playing with pets etc per normal. i feel so guilty.
 
clairechua said:
He smokes behind my back...!
Click to expand...

My hub is a heavy smoker. Erm. Maybe abt half a pack to 1 a day? And i am going through ivf because of his sperm qualities. Months prior to the actual process, he started consuming lotsa supplements, chicken essence daily, changed his undies to boxers and also changed to non-menthol cigarettes.

I was pleasantly surprised when i ask the embryologist on his sperm quality on the day of my ET and it falls within normal range. Just slightly low in density.

Just to share, i used to be a smoker myself. Although i do hope my hub will quit, i do not want to make this the topic of my arguments daily. Like i nagged alot when we found out his initial sperm report. Can u imagine his morphology reading was like less than 1%? I really gave him hell days and it was very unhealthy. It certainly go nowhere with the unhappiness.

As a smoker, if u're saying ur hub picked up only months ago, it is possible to drop the habit. I smoked till the day i realised i was pregnant with my first gal. And stopped completely after and with zero withdrawal syndrome.

Talk to him more abt his work stress? And his surrounding is a big impact also. If he is hanging out with all smokers, it is harder. But dun let this issue stress urself out so bad. Then it is harmful to ur emotional self which i believe is not good for ivf?
 
Skmm said:
My hub is a heavy smoker. Erm. Maybe abt half a pack to 1 a day? And i am going through ivf because of his sperm qualities. Months prior to the actual process, he started consuming lotsa supplements, chicken essence daily, changed his undies to boxers and also changed to non-menthol cigarettes.

I was pleasantly surprised when i ask the embryologist on his sperm quality on the day of my ET and it falls within normal range. Just slightly low in density.

Just to share, i used to be a smoker myself. Although i do hope my hub will quit, i do not want to make this the topic of my arguments daily. Like i nagged alot when we found out his initial sperm report. Can u imagine his morphology reading was like less than 1%? I really gave him hell days and it was very unhealthy. It certainly go nowhere with the unhappiness.

As a smoker, if u're saying ur hub picked up only months ago, it is possible to drop the habit. I smoked till the day i realised i was pregnant with my first gal. And stopped completely after and with zero withdrawal syndrome.

Talk to him more abt his work stress? And his surrounding is a big impact also. If he is hanging out with all smokers, it is harder. But dun let this issue stress urself out so bad. Then it is harmful to ur emotional self which i believe is not good for ivf?
Click to expand...

Ya his morphology was quite low even before he started smoking...
But the reason for e ivf is more of my previous ectopic surgery.

Does it impact that much ? I feel so tired making this a topic l jus like avoiding it entirely...
 
clairechua said:
Ya his morphology was quite low even before he started smoking...
But the reason for e ivf is more of my previous ectopic surgery.

Does it impact that much ? I feel so tired making this a topic l jus like avoiding it entirely...
Click to expand...

Yeah. That's why i really think it is not worth it to hurt ur relationship with the topic. My hub didnt stop smoking. But just non-menthol. He had been smoking for 20 years? Hahahhaha. So i also know it is not that an easy action to quit.

I think is an entire package. Like his supplements, boxer wearing , etc etc that helped the improvement.

I learned to let go off uncontrollables. Hahahhaha. I have tons of colleagues who smokes behind their partners' back. Before they go home, they will sanitise, perfume, breath spray, or eat garlic. Hahahahhaa. Many funny behaviours.

But what i wanna tell u is that u cannot be 24/7 there to control u see. So it is important that both of u know that u guys need to help each other to bring a bb home. And trust that ur hub will do his part also.

After i stopped nagging, my hub religiously takes his supplements. Self purchased chicken essence in bulk for both of us. And i recognised his efforts. So we were glad we managed to transfer 2 embbies :) now just praying they will implant and grow healthily :)
 
Does any sis here experience diarrhea and nause before ER? Does kkh still proceed with ER with these? Am supposed to go for ER tomorrow but seems like these 2 days had been sick....haiz.....
 
Good morning ladies! Check with u all - can I take the letrozole & aspirin tablets in the evening instead of morning? Cos I forgot to bring along to office. Sigh...
 
Celestialbaby said:
Hi ladies, can I know what supplements are good for improving sperm quality?
Click to expand...
Celest, dr loh asked DH to take same supplements as me.. maca, coq10, arginine (no dhea thou). DH is taking multivitamin for men which i think has zinc and selenium, as well as multioil (or omega 3)

How's your booking with dr loh?
 
Iwantbaby2015 said:
Does any sis here experience diarrhea and nause before ER? Does kkh still proceed with ER with these? Am supposed to go for ER tomorrow but seems like these 2 days had been sick....haiz.....
Click to expand...
Best if u call kkh. These sounds like some of symptoms relating to ohss .. better to be safe side call and describe your symptoms and get yourself assured
 
Yokoe said:
Rub some balm ointment. keep your back and tummy warm. im having my ET tommorow. Blastocyst embies. Lets hope for the best for you and me and everyone else here. May lord flourish us with babies next year . Stay positive!
Click to expand...
Yokoe: all the best to you, remember to rest well after ET.
Winniewiniepooh: i went to do BT on last Sat. Doc said min reading must 30, but i only have 3. Doc asked me to monitor, if heavy flow, means bye bye. if still spotting little bit, have to go back to go BT again. Feeling leg pain, giddy & back pain since yesterday. Hoping for miracle happen on me...
 
patn said:
Celest, dr loh asked DH to take same supplements as me.. maca, coq10, arginine (no dhea thou). DH is taking multivitamin for men which i think has zinc and selenium, as well as multioil (or omega 3)

How's your booking with dr loh?
Click to expand...
Thanks Pat for info. Same dosage as you right? Text u separately. Now lying at TMC waiting for my polyps removal procedure.
 
clairechua said:
Does any of your hubbies smoke? Mine picked up a few months ago due to stress. He avoids letting me see but i could smell. It makes me frustrated that im going through these medications, jabs while he is just... I dunno... Really annoying...
Click to expand...
Hmm mine stopped smoking few months back. I told him I'm jabbing and sacrificing and he has got to do his part to stop smoking cos ivf i not solely on me and my pain is much more than his. I told my hb if he don't quit smoking I will forego ivf
 
Dear Sisters, thank you for your encouragement and blessings. Last week I had to abandon my natural FET because this random lousy follicle didn't grow properly so no ovulation and I was expecting my AF soon. AF indeed came with flow as normal cycle so today CD2. I just collected my meds to start medicated FET cycle this time.
No matter where you are at your cycle, stay positive and let's all Jia you!
 
clairechua said:
Does any of your hubbies smoke? Mine picked up a few months ago due to stress. He avoids letting me see but i could smell. It makes me frustrated that im going through these medications, jabs while he is just... I dunno... Really annoying...
Click to expand...

My hubby smoke too. But he have been smoking for 20 over years. No point urge with him. That his only leisure. Sometime they smoke to distress. My heart tell me as long he listen to my instruction eat all the vitamin I ask him to eat can liao. Cheer up girl. Maybe your hubby is too stress with his work and Ivf.
 
Curiousbabe12 said:
My hubby smoke too. But he have been smoking for 20 over years. No point urge with him. That his only leisure. Sometime they smoke to distress. My heart tell me as long he listen to my instruction eat all the vitamin I ask him to eat can liao. Cheer up girl. Maybe your hubby is too stress with his work and Ivf.
Click to expand...

I guess so. Sometimes just 不爽, like i can have this baby alone, he just have to ejaculate! Lol!
 
h0peful said:
Hmm mine stopped smoking few months back. I told him I'm jabbing and sacrificing and he has got to do his part to stop smoking cos ivf i not solely on me and my pain is much more than his. I told my hb if he don't quit smoking I will forego ivf
Click to expand...

Good that ur hubby so obedient lo... He just keeps telling me its due to work stress...
 
Did bt this morning. No good news to share.

From the day i did my et, i keep telling myself to be prepared for this. But cant help to feel sad. Sigh.

Cant avoid going thru a new fresh cycle after all.
 
whmc said:
Did bt this morning. No good news to share.

From the day i did my et, i keep telling myself to be prepared for this. But cant help to feel sad. Sigh.

Cant avoid going thru a new fresh cycle after all.
Click to expand...
Hugs for u sis. Taking my BT tml but am mentally prepared as AF already here.

Dont brood over it for too long.. life still goes on. We have tried our best.. good luck to you for your next cycle.
 
littlemonkies said:
No... they won't understand how it feels to have to poke the needles into your own belly every day and feel the acidic potion sear through you and incapacitate you while the medicine is sinking in. Neither would they appreciate what it means to have our ovaries swollen more than 10 times their normal size (think, instead of one follicle, 10 - 12 follicles on each side?), thereby causing stuffiness in the chest and a sense that you can't breathe well. They also don't understand how horrendous it is to have to go through all this, only to take the chance that the cycle may be cancelled because the lining may not be satisfactorily thick. They also don't understand the fatigue we have to battle as we undergo the stimulation and still having to cope with work with a smile every day.

They don't understand that 25 eggs means that our natural fertility has been reduced by a possible 25 months or more (Read: Earlier onset of menopause?) They don't understand the pain we feel when out of 25 eggs, only a fraction of the eggs get fertilised. They don't know the loss we go through when out of the fertilised eggs, only a couple are deemed fit for transfer. They would never understand how it feels to start on the IVF journey, accepting that we have only less than a 50% chance of success.

They would never know the anxiety that plagues us every night even after we successfully conceive. Because this child is a product of numerous painful jabs and countless prayers. Because failure means we've gone through all those pain for nothing, and may have to go through the same pain again.

No, they won't understand.
Click to expand...

I so agree with you. They will never understand.

I broke down recently because someone close to me told me that for her, a child is a blessing and that she will treasure the child. All because I plan to go to nearby KL for a holiday. I felt like I was accused of being irresponsible. If only they went through all that injections, ER and ET then they'd realized that after all that, we are paranoid even after we BFP and we of all ppl, will never take a child for granted. I would never jeopardize my pregnancy. My dr gave the go ahead already.
 
DawnBB said:
Dear Sisters, thank you for your encouragement and blessings. Last week I had to abandon my natural FET because this random lousy follicle didn't grow properly so no ovulation and I was expecting my AF soon. AF indeed came with flow as normal cycle so today CD2. I just collected my meds to start medicated FET cycle this time.
No matter where you are at your cycle, stay positive and let's all Jia you!
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear abt your cancelled FET. I'm sure it happens for a good reason. Who knows, maybe your body will be better prepared if you delay it for a mth. *hugs* Good luck in the new cycle!
 
the_spinsterella said:
I so agree with you. They will never understand.

I broke down recently because someone close to me told me that for her, a child is a blessing and that she will treasure the child. All because I plan to go to nearby KL for a holiday. I felt like I was accused of being irresponsible. If only they went through all that injections, ER and ET then they'd realized that after all that, we are paranoid even after we BFP and we of all ppl, will never take a child for granted. I would never jeopardize my pregnancy. My dr gave the go ahead already.
Click to expand...
Dear sister, take good care and stay strong. I'm sure you will because your precious little one growing inside you will be your greatest motivation and cheer mummy on too. Not worth stressing yourself over comments or opinions from from others regardless of their intention. Never doubt yourself. Must build positive energy to nourish your and bb's bodies & minds. Since doc already advised you, make the best of your trip and be happy. *hugs*
 
the_spinsterella said:
I so agree with you. They will never understand.

I broke down recently because someone close to me told me that for her, a child is a blessing and that she will treasure the child. All because I plan to go to nearby KL for a holiday. I felt like I was accused of being irresponsible. If only they went through all that injections, ER and ET then they'd realized that after all that, we are paranoid even after we BFP and we of all ppl, will never take a child for granted. I would never jeopardize my pregnancy. My dr gave the go ahead already.
Click to expand...

In fact my doc asked us to go on a short holiday but I can't I'm having exams next month. :(
Anyway i have learnt to left ear in and right ear out to keep myself sane and not affected by what ppl say. If they dont understand no point putting their remarks in our hearts and get upset over it. Not worth!
Getting our health up is the main thing we need to focus.
I say, go for your deserved holiday! :)
 
Can anyone advise how to improve blood circulation?
I did my 3rd acupuncture today and doc said I'm heaty. But since i always have cold feet i didnt know i was a heaty person.
What doc advised not to eat and must eat i have always do so since growing up. So I'm finding it very weird.
So now i have to cut back longan red date tea.. yet I cannot over eat those cooling food.
Any advise for me?
Thanks in advance.
 
whmc said:
Did bt this morning. No good news to share.

From the day i did my et, i keep telling myself to be prepared for this. But cant help to feel sad. Sigh.

Cant avoid going thru a new fresh cycle after all.
Click to expand...
Hope you will recover soon and try next cycle when you feel ready. Don't give up hope. It's the courage to fight on that counts. Persevere on and hope we will all get to carry our bb eventually soon.
 


patn said:
Can anyone advise how to improve blood circulation?
I did my 3rd acupuncture today and doc said I'm heaty. But since i always have cold feet i didnt know i was a heaty person.
What doc advised not to eat and must eat i have always do so since growing up. So I'm finding it very weird.
So now i have to cut back longan red date tea.. yet I cannot over eat those cooling food.
Any advise for me?
Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...
Sister, if doc detect heatiness, can stop taking LGRD tea for a while. Continuing taking heating foods or drinks at this stage does not help the body recover from excess heat & back to balance state. Don't take cold foods. Drink lots of water, make sure avoid heaty foods (no fried foods, less spices), take more neutral foods that help to recover from yin deficiency.
I refer to this article from time to time. Take a look & you can refer to yin deficiency and also blood stasis for your case -
http://www.shen-nong.com/eng/lifestyles/health_tips_for_different_body_constitutions_of_tcm.html

All the best. Take care ya!
 
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