SingaporeMotherhood | Parenting
July 2024
“They Don’t Even Know They’re Special Needs!” says Mum of 2 Kids on the Autism Spectrum
Five years ago, Mina Sunico Chin, 44, and her husband Vincent, 42, became parents for the first time. But their blissful parenting journey took an unexpected turn when their toddler received an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) assessment. The struggles mounted when their second child was later diagnosed with selective mutism and social anxiety. Their challenges led to the birth of altSchool International, a nurturing space where children with developmental differences can thrive.
Flipping Switches
“I’m Filipino but I moved to Singapore when I was 26, so this is home, truly. I spent the first decade of my career at fashion magazines like Mega (Philippines), and then Style and Female (Singapore). After working in fashion and editorial for so long, I needed a change and marketing seemed like a natural progression.
I switched careers just as social media was taking off and it was such an exciting time. Digital content was so shiny and new. It was at my last job that I met Vincent. We shared a passion for all things digital marketing, so we decided to start our own agency. 11 years, numerous accounts, countless campaigns, and even a couple of awards later, Hashtag Interactive is still going strong.
Shortly after Vincent and I got married, we discovered we were pregnant. It was a difficult pregnancy, so it wasn’t entirely surprising that I miscarried after the first trimester. To make it worse, our dog Charlie was battling cancer, which he eventually succumbed to. It was such a sad time, and I was so emotionally drained, but work kept me going. To cheer us up, we adopted a another labrador, Dougie. And I think the joy from having a new member of our pack really changed our outlook.
To be honest, I thought that I would just be one of those women who devoted themselves to their careers. Taking care of my furkids was also enough to satisfy my maternal instincts for a long time. But when I met Vincent, I knew he would make a great dad and that made me reconsider kids. The minute those boys popped out of me though, everything changed. It’s like someone flipped a switch and I couldn’t imagine my life without them.
(See also: FROM FACING AN UNWANTED PREGNANCY TO THRIVING AS MOTHER OF FIVE KIDS!)
Our Rainbow Baby
Mason was our rainbow baby. Unlike my first pregnancy, this was super smooth-sailing. I had planned on a natural, drug-free birth — with hypnobirthing classes and even a doula. But he was such a large child (4.13 kg), he got stuck and we ended up undergoing a very dramatic emergency Caesarean. It was the total opposite of what I had planned, but when I saw his gorgeous face, I was a complete goner: I went full mum mode.
I was lucky to have so much support. I had a lovely confinement nanny who helped us through those first few weeks. Both my mum and mother-in-law came over to check in on me. Breastfeeding was a TRIP — one that didn’t end for years. But I generally took to motherhood like a fish to water.
And Mason was a great baby for beginner parents. He was so easy to take care of and we brought him everywhere. We even travelled with him at three months old and continued travelling a lot in that first year. I just strapped him to a carrier on my chest and off we went!
I also got a lot of work done with him at my side. We even had a bassinet set up in between me and Vincent at the office, so we could work while watching over him most days.
(See also: 5 AWESOME AIRPLANE BEDS AND SEAT EXTENDERS THAT MAKE FLIGHTS WITH KIDS A BREEZE)
He Wasn’t Talking
Like most special needs kids, not talking was the most obvious sign. I had first noticed it at 12 months but we were hoping that he was just a late talker. By 18 months we figured there was something different about him and that’s when we started consulting with specialists.
We were referred to NUH’s Child Development Unit (CDU) but the wait took a while, so we also went through some private consultations. At around 20 months, we had several specialists saying that he was probably on the spectrum. They all recommended we start early intervention as soon as possible.
Like most of the challenges in our lives, Vincent and I just went into problem-solving mode. I don’t think we really dwelled on ‘how we felt’ for a long time. Mason was clearly such a happy child and was so unbothered by what was happening around him, so I think we took a page from him and just kept chugging along.
(See also: 12 THINGS TO KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE A CHILD ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM IN SINGAPORE)
In those early days, my only coping mechanism was to learn as much as I could. I devoured books and courses. Watched all the videos I could, talked to anyone who would give me the time of day. The more I learned about current practices and interventions, the more confident and hopeful I felt about being able to help Mason in his journey.
Leaps and Bounds
Mason was such an easy baby and he grew into a relatively easy to manage little boy. He’s generally a happy child: creative, playful, curious, independent, and adaptable. He is full of energy and can run for hours, so we love spending a lot of time outdoors with him — visiting parks, hiking, exploring woody areas in search of bugs, swimming, going to the beach, and more.
Since receiving his diagnosis, we embarked on so many different interventions. He started out in mainstream childcare and we were coupling that with different therapies. He also did full-day early intervention programmes before starting at altSchool, where he also undergoes a pretty comprehensive full-day programme that includes a mix of lessons and therapy five days a week.
(See also: WHY EARLY INTERVENTION IS IMPORTANT IF YOUR CHILD HAS LEARNING OR LITERACY DIFFICULTIES)
His first major milestone was starting to use words, and not just gestures, to communicate. His first word was “open”. The next major milestones were along the lines of responding to his name and participating in group activities.
At five years old, Mason’s awareness has grown by leaps and bounds and he’s so engaged in class and therapy now. The more aware he is, the more he understands and now he loves listening to storybooks because he can actually tell what’s going on. His vocabulary grows day by day and we crack up at the funny things that come out of his mouth. It’s such a joy and honour to be a part of his journey and it’s even more fulfilling that we have had a direct hand in his education through altSchool.
Our Surprise Package
We knew we wanted to have a second child, but we didn’t plan to get pregnant when we did. It was the height of the pandemic and another baby wasn’t exactly at the top of our minds, but we were thrilled to be pregnant all the same.
In any case, it was business as usual for us. We just went about the process of birthing without expecting anything. Knowing the drama from my first birth though, we scheduled this Caesarean. And it was a good thing because Mackenzie was well on his way to being as large a newborn as his brother!
(See also: EXPECTING MY FIRST BABY DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC LOCKDOWN)
I knew that the chances of the second child being autistic could be high, so we were more watchful. We weren’t overly concerned about the possibility, but I won’t pretend that I didn’t think about it.
By the time Mackenzie was a year old, he was so chatty and engaged that we thought we had dodged a bullet. This time we had a child who responded to his name, talked back (although he didn’t have a lot of words), pointed to objects, and shared his interest in things with us.
No Such Luck
Mackenzie’s special needs only became apparent when we enrolled him in childcare at 2 years old. He started exhibiting a lot of anxieties, both in and out of school. He was averse to new experiences and people — which we chalked up to him being ‘shy’. The biggest red flag though was that he wasn’t talking in school. He made minimal sounds and had a nervous habit of fidgeting with his fingers.
When we investigated further, the term selective mutism was being used to describe him. So we went back to the CDU for further consultation. They identified quite a number of developmental delays, especially in the area of speech and language. He has words though — more than Mason did at that age, but less than the average child his age.
(See also: SELECTIVE MUTISM: WHEN YOUR CHILD JUST WON’T SPEAK)
When they said that he was likely to be on the spectrum too, we were initially not as accepting of this as we were with Mason. Mason had more of the classic autism symptoms, while with Mackenzie, we thought it was more the anxieties that we had to deal with. So it came as a bit of a shock to learn that our seemingly neurotypical son was just as neuro-spicy as his brother.
As usual, I dove headfirst into research and studied everything I could. Now I realise that autism is a spectrum after all, and no two kids are alike. We just focus on each of their strengths and help them work on areas for improvement.
Cheeky Mackie
Mackenzie is a character. His brother may be more outgoing and exuberant, but Mackie is rambunctious in his own way. He is a lot more demanding as a toddler than his brother was and likes having all of us together all the time. Where his brother was always okay to play quietly and independently, Mackenzie likes to be involved in what Mum and Dad are doing.
Since moving him to altSchool, however, we are starting to see more of his real personality. We realised that he was so clingy and needy previously because he was coping with his anxieties through the day. But now, at three years old, he’s a lot more comfortable in his own skin.
(See also: ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD KEEP CALM & CARRY ON)
We also don’t have to worry about the selective mutism as much anymore. He will talk to anyone and everyone that will listen — he even says hello to deliverymen and teachers at his gym class now.
Mackie’s very cheeky and likes to tease and roughhouse with his brother a lot. It’s amazing to watch him have conversations with Mason. They’re both still learning to expand their vocabulary, but they’re also learning it together.
Redefining Early Intervention
Starting altSchool International was deeply personal for me. With two kids on the autism spectrum, I understand both the challenges and wins of raising special needs children. We’ve also experienced different kinds of support services, and learned so many different methodologies and approaches, so we wanted to put together the best of what we know.
For every person we work with or interview to be part of altSchool, we always ask: ‘If you could do early intervention differently and make it better, what would you do?’ We emphasise play-responsive learning and therapy, 1:4 teacher/therapist-to-student ratio, and transdisciplinary collaboration to ensure that each child receives personalised attention.
I also believe our Montessori-inspired principles, space design, and highly experiential thematic learning approach differentiate us from other early intervention programmes in Singapore. The kids don’t just read books; we engage them through living stories and different scenarios inside and outside the classroom.
(See also: 5 WAYS TO HELP CHILDREN WITH AUTISM READ BETTER)
We prioritise independence, creativity, and exploration. This approach extends to our therapy sessions where our occupational and speech therapies also align with our themes. So far, the children are responding beautifully and this makes rapport-building and engaging them so much easier.
It took us a year from inception till officially opening our doors, and now I feel that the programme is even better than our initial plans. I love hearing the stories the team has to share with us every day: the small and big wins, and changes we see in each of these children. It’s such an honour and privilege to be part of their learning journeys and growth.
Couldn’t Do It Alone
While it isn’t easy parenting two special needs kids and running two businesses simultaneously, it’s true what they say. It really takes a village with a capital V. I am lucky to have a great team, not just in my personal life but my work life as well.
Firstly, my husband is a very hands-on dad and work partner; we have each other’s backs. At home, we have our awesome housekeeper and nanny who help with our kids and furkids. At work, our teams at both Hashtag Interactive and altSchool are the best kind of colleagues and help keep both ships running smoothly.
(See also: SHE BIRTHED 3 BABIES, 2 TUITION CENTRES, & 1 MASTER’S DEGREE… IN 5 YEARS!
They also allow me to pursue my studies alongside all the other hats I wear. I recently completed courses in ASD, Gestalt Language Processing, and Special and Inclusive Education. Now I’m working towards getting my Masters in the latter and so excited to be going back to school later this year.
I know this is another cliche, but it’s so important to take time for yourself. It’s so easy to just be a mum or wife or boss all the time, so I make it a point to schedule blocks to just be Mina. For me that means reading a good book, meditating, studying, hiking, working out (even if I don’t always enjoy it) or cooking a leisurely meal. This does wonders for my mood and sanity. I find I’m a better mum, wife, and boss when I invest the time in me.
Celebrating the Small Wins
It’s been really cool to witness the transformation in both my kids since joining altSchool. Before Mason started, he faced challenges with focus and communication. However, just five months in, we’ve seen awesome progress. He’s really taken to our approach and is now writing, reading, and engaging better in tasks. We also didn’t realise just how creative he was until he started altSchool — since his fine motor skills have improved, so has his love for art.
Mackenzie, on the other hand, did not speak for a year at his previous childcare. His anxieties were really getting in the way of his learning. Changing his environment and giving him a space where he feels safe has really opened him up. Now, he’s a chatterbox, expressing himself confidently throughout the day — at home, school, other enrichment classes, and various social settings.
(See also: 7 FIRST-RATE ENRICHMENT PROGRAMMES FOR SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN IN SINGAPORE)
Helping him become more independent is also much easier now that he’s not so caught up in his anxieties. He’s a lot calmer and tantrums are very minimal and more manageable. Previously, we thought his demanding and difficult behaviour was his personality, but since altSchool, we realise a lot of it was the anxieties that he was dealing with.
At the end of the day, they are happy, happy children. They don’t know that they are ‘special needs’ and I don’t think it even bothers them that they’re on the spectrum, which is kind of funny when you think about it. Here we are making such a big deal about their development — even starting a new business — but they’re happy just being kids.
They’re growing and learning every day. That’s my greatest hope and what we work so hard for. We’re also not caught up in keeping up with the ‘Joneses’ academically; we just celebrate every little win. We take it one day at a time and try not to plan too far ahead — although we may have some plans in our back pocket!”
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