SingaporeMotherhood | Parenting

December 2024

4 Levels of Consciousness: Navigating Motherhood with Mindfulness

“I hate you! You’re the worst mum ever!” my 10-year-old daughter howled in anger.

“How DARE you shout at your mum like that?” my husband popped his head into her room.

“I love you… when you’re ready, we’ll talk?” I smiled and pulled my husband out of the room to give her space.

The scenario above encapsulates three of the four levels of consciousness. As another year comes to a close, I make it a point to introspect on which state I mostly operate from.

“There are four levels of consciousness that humans can experience, and each level represents a different way of understanding the world around us. Each level corresponds to a different mindset or worldview that shapes how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.”

– Peter Sage, serial entrepreneur and motivational coach

Level 1 – Life Happens TO Me

You feel like you do not have control over your circumstances. Your feelings and thoughts overwhelm you and you wonder why nobody understands you or if help is ever going to miraculously appear.

Of the four levels of consciousness, this is the victim stage. Here we are inundated by external pressures, whether it is work stress, an undesirable relationship, or unfulfilled expectations.

upset child

What is your automatic reaction when you face a challenge that seems insurmountable? Outward aggression (flight), passive avoidance (flight), and engaging in distractions (avoidance) are different methods we use to express the ‘poor me’ mentality.

Moving to Level 2 requires giving up blame and justifications. No matter your reasons and version of why something is happening, assuming responsibility for the current situation is simply refusing to be ‘at the effect’ of this circumstance. There is an awakening when you realise that you can choose to not act out your feelings and thoughts, no matter how engulfing they are.

Make a conscious choice to change your immediate experience. Because knowing that you have a say in how this plays out levels you up.

(See also: Do you have Parental Burnout?)

Level 2 – Life Happens FROM Me

Instead of being stuck at expecting things to be a certain way, this level proactively creates what I want. Stop being the ‘thermometer’ in the room. Instead of merely reflecting the emotional mood of any situation, the thermostat is able to shift the entire energy to create their ideal ‘temperature’.

How do I want this fight to end? What can I do differently? Am I crystal clear on the vision I want to achieve, especially the details? What disempowering beliefs do I need to release and what new thought patterns can I energetically replace them with?

You are now an effective participant in how your life unfolds. You are intentional and purposeful about making things happen. Powerful shifts happen at this level because your level of consciousness has expanded.

Yet, things seem effortful and you do slide back to Level 1 sometimes. After all, trying to accumulate achievements, accolades, and new status symbols can be exhausting.

You see, of the four levels of consciousness, Levels 1 and 2 operate from the outside in.

A friend’s social media post reminds you you’re not slim enough. Your child’s angry accusations echo your inner insecurities. Worst of all, your inner critic judges you for falling short of your own expectations. We all succumb to external validations of how we should live our lives and that is so, so, so debilitating!

Many of us blindly follow the socialisations of our modern culture for so long that we completely disconnect from what our soul truly desires. Instead, quiet yourself. Intentionally create daily spaces to listen. Dare to go deep. Dare to question traditions, re-evaluate your beliefs, and reconstruct your mental models.

Truly tuning into your inner world levels you into a state of synchronicities and up to the next stage.

levels of consciousness - parents comforting child
Image: tirachardz on freepik

Level 3 – Life Happens THROUGH Me

This is the level where you connect with your own inner knowing and let your inner spirit guide you. Cultural traditions and societal expectations lose their grip over you because you are rooted from within. You stop living for others’ approval and know that you can bend the rules.

You spend more time recoding your inner cosmos instead of focusing your efforts solely in the outer world. Practising forgiveness and gratitude immerse you in the beautiful plane of compassion and joy.

No longer do you merely look for strategies to implement, but the energy you operate from is the true catalyst for the shifts in your life. You understand there are many external ways to achieve desired outcomes, thus you are no longer stuck looking for that one ‘correct’ method. Instead, you double down on being the creator of your own life from the Inside Out — sound familiar? 😉

When my daughter was in her rage, her entire mindset, actions and energy reflected those of a victim — with Mum being the bully, of course. Whereas my husband’s interruption was his effort at bringing about a different outcome. My words brought about a sense of peace.

But another mum could mimic the same words I uttered and not achieve the same result. Because there is no magic in my words. The magic comes from being anchored in profound love. That inner connection is where I accessed the fuel to create the experience of peace for my daughter.

(See also: Toddler Tantrum Triggers (and Strategies to Solve them!)

Level 4 – Life happens AS Me

When there is true oneness, my life is no longer about me but about the lives of those around me.

There is no separation of Me versus Her. My daughter’s pain becomes my pain. I empathise with her angst of not wanting to wash the dishes. So I no longer need to pit my will against hers, but instead hold a loving space for her to safely experience her emotions without reacting.

Why would I take away her oh-so-human experience of being upset?

This Christmas is special because I’ve come to realise the levels of consciousness we operate from determine the quality of our lives.

levels of consciousness - happy mum and child
Image: freepik

On which of the Four Levels of Consciousness do you operate?

  • Do you wake up at Level 1 and unconsciously repeat yesterday like a broken record? What is your default emotion?

  • Am you mostly at Level 2 where you are exhausted from achieving status symbols and teaching your children the same? What else is there besides good grades and good behaviour? Why not teach them to question?

  • Or am you at Level 3, where you connect with your inner truths? Are you living in alignment with your values even if it differs from that of your spouse and friends, and breaks the status quo? Do you have the courage to be different?

  • Or will you choose to operate from Level 4? Where you tap into your intuition for a deep sense of connectedness with all of life? Where there are no divisive lines of Me versus Them?

(See also: Identity Hack to Enjoy Goal Setting in the New Year)

If daily experiences of miracles, joy, and wonder are what you want, stop following the majority. There may be safety in numbers, but this comes at the cost of you truly living life on your own terms.

This year-end, the best gift you can give yourself and your loved ones is the understanding that the quality of your life is in proportion to your internal depth. To experience life to its fullest, dig deep because true fulfilment comes from an inner connection that is unique only to you.

Featured image: freepik

All content from this article, including images, cannot be reproduced without credits or written permission from SingaporeMotherhood.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Telegram for the latest article and promotion updates.

woman holding origami

4 Levels of Consciousness: Navigating Motherhood with Mindfulness