Zhu Sheng Niang Niang (注生娘娘)

[twinkletot]

Hi Joylon,

I read through this thread and gain some knowledge. Thks for your sharing.

I heard ppl saying if one is having menses, she cannot step in temple to pray. Is this true? Pls advise. Thks.

 

[toblerone]

Dear Madam twinkletot (twinkletot),

You've asked a good question!

在道教文化，确实是有些避忌。那么妇女有来月事，血即是“污秽”，若去道教庙宇则对神明不敬。

倘若经过佛寺/佛堂(不属于道教民俗文化)，想进去拜，而害怕/担心冒犯诸般菩萨仙佛，可以选择不供香，行三鞠躬代替也行。怎么说，都总好过那些不去拜的。

 

[twinkletot]

Thanks Jolyon for your prompt reply and enlightenment. I will bear it in mind.

 

[faithmummy1706]

Jolyon

Your advice is really good and i learn alot from what you are posting here... thanks alot...

i have a friend facing divorce with her husband.
Her husband has 3rd party outside.
She get PI to check on her husband and it is indeed the case.... And after that, she also confronted her husband with two families around.
THe husband did not disclose his infidelity outside until the wife confronted. And he make it clear that he did not want the marriage anymore now.

Is there anything my friend can do to save her marriage?

Many of us did persuade her not to divorce.
But the problem is not totally with her, problem is with her husband who do not want the marriage, and at the same time, even if the husband still want the marriage, she also feel that she will not be able to trust her husband anymore.

As friends, we cannot say much because afterall it is their family matter. However, we told her to decide for herself what is the best option for her....

What is right for us to do, as a friend?
And what should my friend do?

Is there any explanation behind all these?

Sorry Jolyon, for the long story
But thanks alot, really hope to hear more examples of similar cases from you and how they solve their problem.

 

[princessleopard]

Hi Jolyon,

I gain a lot of knowledge from your advices above. Thanks!

I saw you mentioned about how many kids a couple will have. I am very curious too. A master once told me that my 八字 have 4 kids, my hubby have 1. I had 2 miscarriages already, will you know how many kids will we have?

 

[toblerone]

Dear Madam hui (faithmummy1706) ,

I have answered your queries in the below thread. Right click.
Extra Marital Relationship 宿世姻缘与出轨

我尽我所能为你解答。希望你满意。

 

[toblerone]

Dear Princessleopard (princessleopard),

八字上是看得出，做个衡量。结婚好几年，迟迟没有喜讯的话，我可以稍微看一下。其实，很多夫妇为此事感到着急的哦！

有师傅说你们的八字可共有5个小孩，相信不会错的。你可以尽管放心。定限是五个，还是有机会再怀孕。

至于，你的两次的流产，不要伤心不要灰心。上天自有安排。我倒建议你们夫妇协商去作个超度。不需要花一大笔钱去找人做，搞不好别人是在装神弄鬼。

Right click ->光明山普觉禅寺七月份有举办超度亡灵法会。挂名超度好像是$50一个牌位(可以写三个名字). However, you may call them in the mid-July to enquire. 到时，超度亡灵法会可以去指定的牌位拜，供品就千万不要拿，因为那不是吃平安的。

I knew one Indian Hindu mother (she is age over 30)，有个大约3岁的女儿。自从怀第二胎流产之后，彻夜睡不好。当时，我什么都没说，只教了她一招到光明山作超度。I met her only few weeks later after lunar 7th month. She told me that she paid a fee for the ritual in that temple. Not only that, she dreamt of herself cuddling a baby girl in the baby-walker at her house. After that, the baby strolled out in the baby-walker and never returned. She even realised she wept when she awoke and that was immediately the night after the temple's grand ritual (超度法会).

She was enthusiastic in sharing her dream and her quality of sleep improved. She knew it was her miscarriage daughter bidding farewell. Her emotion and watery eyes could tell her happiness, 也能感觉的出她心里的石头放下了。居然她与光明山有缘，顺便向她提起初一、十五去那里拜拜。

妈妈/爸爸自己来做超度也可以的。会耗费时间，怕定力不足功亏一篑。若妈妈/爸爸有胆又有决心，这样更直接有感应。而要等怀下一胎的缘会好。

There are two threads related to hungry ghost festival:
Need Advice about 7th month
http://singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/5/8295970.html?1366199166

7th Month - can go zoo?
http://singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/36738/7486074.html?1366216425

 

[princessleopard]

Hi Jolyon,

Thanks for your advices and encouragement!!

7th month, I will get the 超度 done. Thanks!

 

[faithmummy1706]

Hi Jolyon

Thanks for your advice, and you even specially created a thread.... thanks so much

 

[toblerone]

Princessleopard (princessleopard) April 30, 2013 - 3:39 pm
7th month, I will get the 超度 done.

今年农历五月十五日之后（after 22 June 2013） , 光明山才有接受超度法会申请。超度祖先、婴灵等是同时进行。The details are in the poster.
See photo album: 光明山普觉禅寺。

若你不选择光明山，可以到处问一问。

 

[toblerone]

Isabelle (singhomer) Thursday, May 02, 2013 - 11:01 pm
I've a friend who miscarriages 3 times. The foteus all died at 6 weeks with no heartbeat. Her father in law has 2 wifes. Her husband is the first wife' son. Is there any link as to why my friend is childless?

流产、不孕、生产、堕胎、求子、受孕、婴儿命名的民俗疑问我最有兴趣了。

三次流产经历，次次近六周胎死腹中，家翁娶二妻，丈夫是母亲是大妈生的。对吗？

带我问一问,
1. 你朋友的丈夫，他的二妈是否还在世？
2. 你朋友的丈夫和自己是否有钓鱼？
3. 你朋友目前住的新屋？
4. 你朋友的丈夫或你朋友流产前是否有作梦？
5. 你朋友的父母/阿公阿嫲，或者她丈夫的父母/阿公阿嫲有做过小贩？

一次流产，用不着不迷信，鬼神论可暂且丢一旁。一次流产给自己安慰，可能是意外导致如摔倒，不小心吃错东西、动作激烈等等。大可给自己一个机会，再来尝试下一胎。

我曾看过的案例数之不尽，不可思议的原因太多了。三次流产绝对不是巧合了。不过，尝试找出根源需要时间了。

In my opinion, three miscarriages 真的奇怪了。

 

[toblerone]

FAQ POST

问：No marriage fate for years. Which deity may I seek blessing？

答：那些迟迟没有男朋友或者交不到女朋友的，向月老祈求最好不过了。观世音大慈大悲，观其音声救难的人太多了，凡尘婚事恐怕非得向月老恳求才行。在本地，似乎没有看过庙宇有供奉月老。其他国家就有不少。

马来西亚有几家庙宇有供奉月老。其一，吉隆坡的一间月老庙灵验。真的下定决心，要祈求牵红线的，跟我说一声，我再去找地址。此庙拜月老有几个步骤与坊间拜法不同。若我有再去吉隆坡会特地去拜访月老庙，再拍照上载与大家分享。

台湾台北可有两个地方拜月老，其中一个记忆深刻的地方是霞海城隍庙的月老。记得大清早要去霞海庙参观，so somehow I was confused with direction. gps low cell, hungry and abit “sian”. 就在这个时候，太子爷在我旁边猛撞了我一下。给我打了眼色，暗示我跟着他。我紧接着追了他一条大马路才到此庙。What astonished me was,　这庙宇的神明able to sense my intention in less than 500m radius。　　

霞海城隍庙的主神为城隍爷，但庙宇灵验的地方竟然是向月老求姻缘。

有打算去台湾旅游，可以顺便去那里求姻缘。

See photo album 霞海城隍庙

 

[toblerone]

FAQ POST

问: I tried not be superstitious and izit true that things like pregnant lady cannot attend baby lst month, birthday celebration, wedding, go hospital and funeral?
答: 说的没错。孕妇的确有避忌！这个不是迷信。

孕妇在家有很多不该做的事情。比如，孕妇在床不可以用剪刀、家里不可以油漆、家里不可搬运家具等等。原因是有胎神在游荡。老人家或许不知道原因，只知道老祖宗怎么交待就照着做。

那些不信邪的，硬要唯我独尊不听劝告，这就是为什么有些小孩出世有疤痕、胎记（身上某地方黑了一块）。甚至，有严重到瞎眼、耳聋、心脏有孔、兔唇、皮肤病、初期怀孕流产等等。

孕妇在外更要避忌。红白事一切皆得避而远之！切记！怀孕妇女的借口是最好的。因为，大家都会明白妇女怀孕行动不方便。

问: Pregnancy cannot reveal to anyone after 3mths?
答: 确实有这种说法。初步怀孕之期，不必透露！透露了之后，对自己没有好处。等到肚子在大一点，不用说人家都看得出来。

问: We cannot point moon, 7th mth best to avoid anything and what if baby born in that month? Those things which we do not know and we did...what will happen?
答: 七月能避则避。孩子出世在农历七月没有关系。最担心的是，孩子出世的年份与月份或日子相冲，孩子的人生必定大有大波折。
For example,
农历七月份 （between 7 August 2013 and 4 September 2013), 其中四天（13, 16, 22, 25 August）出世的孩子必遭人生不如意的事。若妇女在这四天生产，这是天意。祖先、父母、孩子的业障有关。或者，祖先与父母作得善事多，孩子必然在平安的环境下成长。建议孕妇胎位不正、或者紧急剖腹生产（caesarean section）可以选日子动刀生产。有机会，我会述说剖腹择日的重要。

问: Those things which we do not know and we did...what will happen?
答: 做了就算了。不用执着犯过的错。

问: If we often go to fortune teller, will our life being shorten?
答: 不会。

但越算越不好。

问: Can change name really enhance life?
答: 取名字就好像一个人需要量身定做衣服，穿起来适当又非常合身。尤其是给出生婴儿命名。孩子一步入大运，便可看得到成果。

婴儿八字有缺角，我以我派命名法则，来补救宝宝后天的不足。打个比方，孩子本来很会花钱，好名字可以辅助他将来工作稍微稳定有经济基础。除此之外，婴儿八字有危厄，我会毫无犹豫告知父母，在尝试下一步化解。

有良心的命名大师会指出来。至于，昧着良心榨取钱财的（开口闭口讲钱）什么都不说的，真的实在要不得。八字喜用神捉不准、电脑排名、字体乱用等等真的会害人不浅。当年我师傅传我命名法，吃了不少苦头。命名得看缘份（特别是经济拮据的家庭、单亲爸爸或者妈妈）。

那么，成人改名效果没有比儿童来的显著。不过，同样可以看得到，但需要长时间。成年人若改名想要中4D/Toto，绝对没有这个可能。

问: I understand everyone will have ups and downs in life...anything we can do to enhance our life in smooth sailing like no major illness, accidents and unfortuately things events happen to self and loves one.
答: 倘若要颠覆因果定义岂如登天。要纠正不好的，首要决心是持斋打基础。初步吃素，可以选择吃肉边菜。

持斋有说之不尽的意义和益处。在磨练的阶段，相当辛苦，重重考验。冥冥之中逐步提升内德。不会想不开、不会去计较、不会有贪念、不会去争论。慢慢看开，也就慢慢放下。

行善积德作的足，不怕有灾祸。当你不如意的时候，将会有转机的曙光。在紧要关头的时候，奇迹般大事化小。

 

[towkayneo]

If you are keen to go to 月佬庙, there's a temple along telok blangah road (route towards harbourfront/vivocity) that has 月佬. The temple is decorated with 八仙, very eye-catching.

 

[double_line]

Hi jolyon,

This question has been bothering me. Hope u can enlighten me.

During my wedding, I have invited my uncle whom his farther has passed away and he has not pass 100 days funeral. I know this is a 'no no'. but I was not Padang that time and my uncle also attended.

Now, We have try to have kid for almost 3 years but not successful . Could it be due to I have not follow the 'rules'?

Hope u can advise me.
Thanks in adv.

 

[toblerone]

这帖子本是‘求子’，竟成了‘求姻缘’。

there's a temple along telok blangah road (route towards harbourfront/vivocity) that has 月佬. The temple is decorated with 八仙, very eye-catching.

towkayneo = 头家娘，

我知道是哪家庙宇。那是‘天公庙’不是‘月老庙’。Opposite of CC28 Telok Blangah MRT station.

内部神明金身重新翻新，显得更加亮眼了。

正殿有两个阶段 - 面向正殿前排（右包公、左观音等等）。正殿（后排）主神为玉皇大帝，面向玉皇大帝，右边就是地母娘娘神台。供奉地母娘娘的前面便是月老了。

Map

http://www.streetdirectory.com/asia_travel/travel/travel_id_21916/travel_site_5866/
View album

直落布兰雅 - 天公庙（please give a thumb up）

要拜月老之前，需要准备贡品。本人分享秘诀，请悉读图片（相册内）指示！​

 

[toblerone]

During my wedding, I have invited my uncle whom his farther has passed away and he has not pass 100 days funeral. I know this is a 'no no'. but I was not Padang that time and my uncle also attended.

Now, We have try to have kid for almost 3 years but not successful . Could it be due to I have not follow the 'rules'?

Your uncle还在戴孝哦！

难道你的长辈没有反对吗？

你的uncle也真是的，明知要给新婚人祝福，没脱孝还参加喜宴。
即使你不请uncle，我相信他会明白的。办过白事仍有避忌，得严格遵守。

必须让你知道，人死后的百日内，幽魂四处飘荡，探望亲人留恋凡间。人死后未妥善超度，便会给人惹来麻烦了。A young Singaporean lady went for further studies in the States but was murdered in CA. (you may checked with US-S'pore embassy if you have the ability)。死了好几年，很不甘愿，又非常可怜。最惨的是她家人（信耶稣基督）没有帮她超度。

I have lots of “funeral” stories, 暂且不谈这些。

至于，你的情况，夫妇身体健康，没有流产的话，三年不孕就值得探讨。我不敢妄下定论，是否对方戴孝所引起。可能性有很多。

请问：
1. 双方令尊高堂尚在否？
2. 丈夫和你自己的祖先，在清明节/祭日是否有去拜祭？

 

[hui32]

Hi jolyon, can advise how to know if I will have how many kids?

 

[double_line]

Hi joylon,

Thanks for reply.
My family has no objection of my uncle attending because he is close to us.. I will be more careful about the 'rules' in future.

both hubby n me healthy. no miscarriage before.

Pardon me for my poor Chinese.
1. Are you referring to our fathers are still around?
My father yes but my hubby's father has passed away 10 yrs ago.

2. We did prayed for my hubby's father n ancestor during Qing Ming n death anniversary.
As for my ancestor, we did not pray...........

 

[princessleopard]

Jolyon,

Thanks for the link.
No worries, I like 光明山, my mum's urn is there as well.

I need your advice on this. When we pray to god for blessing of baby, we will return favour when baby is born. But for my case, ended up in miscarriage, do I need to return the favor?

 

[renewal]

You transfer merit and chant for he/she for good rebirth during DiZhangWangPuSa period. Then, pray for baby with GuanYin and DiZhangWangPuSa and MedicineBuddha. Kids born will be smart

 

[toblerone]

Hi jolyon, can advise how to know if I will have how many kids?

夫妇的八字（D.O.B. and T.O.B.）多少看得出。只能做出一个推断，夫妇俩有机会可得几个儿女。

Case Study 1

侯女士(she is 60 years old this year)年轻的时候，生了三个（女儿）。当时，她很想要追生第四胎男孩，不过终究怀孕不成。

侯女士八字出现耀眼女儿星，十年运势又未见儿子来报喜，而她丈夫的八字无子星（无儿子之命），所以，喜得三位千金。

If we were to look on the bright side of this couple, 家境状况不错。重要的是，快要抱外孙了。

Case Study 2
一对夫妇的八字统排只得儿子的命。Eventually, IVF successful and had a boy. 第二、第三次IVF始终都不成功。唯一可以解释的是，逆天理硬要怀女胎。不是上天不可怜，因为夫妇的福报只能有儿子。

However, if they were to have a daughter through a successful IVF, 恐怕宝宝将夭折，要不是身体缺陷等等。

 

[toblerone]

3) they sold away the flat where the 3 miscarriage happened
5) yes long time ago used to be a hawker.

把房子卖了最好，换个新环境。全新的组屋/房子更好！旧屋子常有问题、还有，饲养养猫当宠物的房子多半也有问题。

一对夫妇结婚两年，迫不及待地买了一套resale flat，because wife did not want to stay with Mother-in-Law (MIL)。房子到手后，装修的非常漂亮。搬进去后才认真计划生育，迟迟都没有消息。

住了第二年的Christmas, 家里开party，邀请我去吃mini buffet. 女主人(Wayne)有准备几样素的，我才改变主意。人倒是不多，mainly were colleagues and friends. 结果，察觉不对的地方问了Wayne.

Toblerone: 你的阿公阿嫲都在世吗？
Wayne: 阿嫲在， 阿公不在了。
Toblerone: 那么，你老公的阿公阿嫲都在世吗？
Wayne: 两个都在。已经非常老了。
Toblerone: Wayne，问问所有的guests，是否有人最近办丧事。
Wayne: No need to ask, none of them. Why ask?

*In my mind, 这就奇怪了！这老婆婆哪来的呢？
Toblerone: 前屋主的神台在哪里？记得吗？(indirect asking her, 前屋主是否有安奉神明，若有，有可能也有安奉祖先了)
Wayne: Have (point to that area). Why ask so many questions?

*I was thinking, 难道前屋主没把祖先请走。
Toblerone: May I speak to you and your husband? (3 secs later) 这屋子不太适合你们。要顺利计划生育，建议另找房子。

Because of my word, both became puzzled and inquisitive. Both being unreluctant to move, and they stayed for another two years before they moved.

Couple married for 2 years + stayed in the flat for 3½ years = 5½ years.

To answer your query, 麻烦转达给你朋友，既然已有新环境，给自己机会重新开始。不要闷闷不乐，耿耿于怀，哭丧着脸！

1. 至于，那三胎流产的，建议在农历七月超度。
2. 肉食/熟食小贩有杀业（别于轻重之分），而宰杀的三牲烹煮成了美味佳肴，魂魄必到阴司间报道，冤气难消。到时一起超度无妨。
3. 可分别安排两个牌位(see next post below)。举办法会当日，夫妇虔诚向诸天菩萨佛祖忏悔，再到牌位认错，真心请求原谅。不要哭也不要哽噎。
4. 拜祭的贡品不能入口、即不能带回。
5. 若不安心，明年再去报名。

到时有喜讯，请我吃红鸡蛋。

 

[toblerone]

光明山普觉寺农历七月办理超度法会的一个牌位（$50），可填写三至四个名。外面寺庙也有不少办超度，不一定得在光明山普觉寺。

If a woman suffered from numerous miscarriages, note the date of miscarriage. 有些超度法会需要。

For Example,
7 April 2011 辛卯年三月初五
8 December 2012 壬辰年十月廿五
11 March 2013 癸巳年正月三十

请参考以下图片. 或者，若不会填写，请示负责人。

 

[toblerone]

Princessleopard (princessleopard) May 05, 2013 - 11:07 am
I need your advice on this. When we pray to god for blessing of baby, we will return favour when baby is born. But for my case, ended up in miscarriage, do I need to return the favor?

Example 1
如果，当时你向神明发愿说，有怀孕的话会还愿。这样你得严格遵守承诺。

Example 2
或者，你向神明发愿说，生了孩子之后会还愿。愿望实现了，当然非做不可。

Any difference between example 1 and 2?
A Taiwanese friend of mine, 他的赌注超大。愿望实现履行诺言，真的乖乖买房买车的钱，a quater donation went to the orphanage, 也连续办了三天筹神大戏。

给神明/众诸般仙佛开空头支票的例子不胜枚举。My cousin's customer (a filthy rich businessman 作淘宝网生意致富) from Hangzhou, who had suffered a throat cancer due to heavy smoking. 病危时曾对天发誓，“病情略有好转必定每年捐一卡车米回向并且答谢”。Many months passed but still no action. Exactly one year later, cancer relapsed. On the same year, I learnt that he was cremated.

As for your query, I have indirectly answered you.

 

[toblerone]

FAQ POST

问：What is the karma for abortion?
答：我不是阎王，不是天神，更不是大德高僧。因果报应，不是我设定的。究竟会有怎样的报应呢，这就难说了。

堕胎得看什么情况。比如，胎儿迫使/威胁妈妈的性命，得要拿掉了。要不然，大人会跟着没命。

那些逼人堕胎、提议堕胎、介绍地方堕胎、给人堕胎者（包括医生、护士）等等，一概难以幸免。看似没什么，但这笔无形账绝不会轻易一笔勾销。

 

[toblerone]

Isabelle (singhomer) May 05, 2013 - 4:52 pm
What if the god that we asked for blessing for a baby is in another country for my case in HK, I'm not able to go to HK now, what can I do? My bb will be one year old in Aug. must I bring baby along?

是夫妻许下诺言，得夫妻共同承担，与你孩子无关。

要是你曾经发誓，怀孕生了孩子之后，会一同带孩子前来还愿，那么，你得弄本passport给孩子了。

香港庙宇的神明与你有缘，应验你的要求，非去还愿不可了。Three months advanced flight booking from Singapore to Hong Kong (with tax for two ways), airfare cost $250. 您自己看着办。

“与众诸天菩萨及神明打赌，输不起的”。欺骗神明，犹如支票没有兑现。 cheque bounced.

 

[princessleopard]

Jolyon,

Mine was the example 2. Because I was at the Erawan temple at Bangkok. People said its very accurate and I should pray. I know its overseas so I asked for a blessings for baby and I will return when baby is born safely, as I do not want to travel during pregnancy.

After my first miscarriage, I had been trying for a baby for almost a year, after I pray at Erawan, I was pregnant the following month.

 

[toblerone]

Mine was the example 2. Because I was at the Erawan temple at Bangkok. People said its very accurate and I should pray.

Nicholas Tse（谢霆锋）的妈妈（狄波拉），笃信泰国佛教。家里一出事（如：媳妇张柏芝生儿子、传绯闻、谢霆锋惹官司、出意外等等），甚至大大小小的事事，狄波拉就会特地从香港飞往泰国曼谷Erawan Shrine向四面佛祈福。每当愿望成真，狄波拉肯定会回来答谢。由此可见，狄波拉拜四面佛相当虔诚。

I know its overseas so I asked for a blessings for baby and I will return when baby is born safely, as I do not want to travel during pregnancy.

After my first miscarriage, I had been trying for a baby for almost a year, after I pray at Erawan, I was pregnant the following month.

南传佛教的四面佛，就是汉传佛教的大焚天王。

你与四面佛有缘，刚好走到四面佛前又诚心祈求，所以，孩子马上蹦出来跟父母report.

到时要去Bangkok向四面佛还愿时，才来提醒我。本人传授你向四面佛答谢之礼。少不了黄蜡烛、玫瑰串茉莉花、请歌伎跳舞等等。花不了多少钱的。

 

[princessleopard]

Jolyon,

Thanks! I will seek for your advice again when I went back to return favour in future.

 

[jwork]

I wonder...if all my kids are gers (no son)..is it because i do not do enough of good things?

 

[toblerone]

You transfer merit and chant for he/she for good rebirth during DiZhangWangPuSa period. Then, pray for baby with GuanYin and DiZhangWangPuSa and MedicineBuddha. Kids born will be smart

难道你是要夫妇诵《地藏经》否？

你的提议好。不过，要怀孕不是念《地藏经》回向。恐怕会弄巧反拙。

诵《地藏经》要“厚底”- 就比如那些在River Valley居士林穿海青，吃斋几十年的老auntie/uncle，诵经很多年的就恰当了。

你的提议拜观音、地藏王、药师佛非常好！可惜很多人不相信，更别说是怀孕的妇女。人就是要看到才相信。另外， 毗卢寺在今年农历九月至十二月份（late October onwards）有办诵药师经、药师宝忏、阿弥陀经法会。夫妇盼子或者已怀孕妇女就该踊跃参加。

 

[toblerone]

dreamer (mybabydream) May 06, 2013 - 12:12 am
I wonder...if all my kids are gers (no son)..is it because i do not do enough of good things?

这样想就不对咯。

不见的那些夫妇们全部生男孩的都是积了阴德。或者，夫妇有男孩，又想要生女孩的，是不是有欠缺公德？

想要生一男半女，与夫妇的福报有关。

A young lady went for an abortion once. 后来找到如意郎君，终于出嫁了。太太迟迟未有喜讯，惹得丈夫、家翁家婆着急了。问题来了...夫妇八字统排起来就只有这么一颗星，而且是个女儿。夫命的子女宫相冲，又无见子女星闪烁。妻命就只有这么一颗星罢了！一失足成千古恨。

夫妇想要抱孩子的福报是定数和缘分。求子心切的夫妇，上天会尽量满足的。

 

[toblerone]

FAQ POST

问：We have been very sincere in praying and also tried seeking Western (except IVF) & Chinese treatment but have all failed. It is very disheartening and we have never did anything to harm anyone or anything evil. We just don't understand why our efforts are unanswered.
答：这个问题很有意思。拜了这么多年，是不是神明没有保佑呢？无曾做过伤天害理，为什么要求孩子就不容易呢？

夫妇有没有孩子，不只是虔心求神。不是神明不帮，是神明量力而为。

I admire those living in Nassim Hill and Sixth Avenue, but why can't I live there? 理由是，我一个月的工资肯定没有他们赚得多。我也从来没向诸般神明或者父母抱怨。

A 55 years old man who sold his semi-detached house for $3.5m. He had a brilliant son who was a scholar, studying NUS medicine (MBBS course). Somehow, his son committed suicide in Year 2011. 结果，夫妇老来丧子，白发人送黑发人。整天责问上帝为什么对他们不公平、残忍。Worst, the couple locked themselves up in HDB flat. 夫妇到底有没有做过缺德事，只有他们自己知道。他儿子要选择死来解决问题，可是最大的痛苦就是父母。那么，父母享受与儿同在，就在那短短20载的光阴。Side track abit - 阳寿未尽，非自然身亡者，统统得收押在阴曹枉死城内。

一个人求神中了toto，为什么其他人求不会中呢？偏财运旺，自身命理承受得起，所以他能得巨财福份。至于那些心胸狭窄，命理上没有福气享受荣华富贵的，若得不义之财恐会丢命。捡到大笔钱的人，不是突发意外就是一命呜呼。

以上所指出非直接性的“福报”论点，是否有去想过呢？

夫妇能不能有孩子，得看跟孩子有没有“缘”。夫妇要修好与未来孩子的缘，是行得通。只是如何去行善，能否有决心去做。

作善事的定义，发自于内心。舍出自己的时间，提供帮助给有需要的人。不一定要金财施舍，可以是实际行动。这里要注意金财施舍要谨慎，不是所有的慈善机构能信。参与义工活动不是参加save Bukit Brown campaign，return crockery and etc.

舍己为人的意义，利于他人，才是正确方针。‘积德必有福报’- 上天是公平的，没有去做等于zero，有做绝不会少算。

接下来，探讨的是祖辈积德行善,后代受持福报。

很多时候，错不在于自己，祖辈造的罪（ancestry's sin），后代必遭池鱼之殃。

An elder brother was a successful fish dealer in Pasir Panjang, and younger brother was a fishmonger in Tampines wet-market. Both owned some landed properties and I remember one house in Katong （near to Chinese Swimming Club）. 生活过得相当舒适富裕。女儿出嫁时，在Raffles Hotel摆喜宴.

可惜好景不长。两兄弟欠债累累。Both went bankruptcy. Fishmonger became terribly depressed, followed by a stroke and passed away shortly. 最小的外孙女得了post-polio syndrome，全家搞到鸡犬不宁。

自己无意中造的罪没算偿还，倘若也把祖辈造的罪一同算在内，是需要更长时间清还。生不出孩子，千万不要怪罪阿公阿嫲和父母。弥补无意犯的错，了解宿世恩怨才是实际。

要宝宝快点来报到，唯独 行善积德才是上上之策。不然，越拖越久，年龄大了生不出，可别不怨天尤人了。

问：Please advise whether we can know we are really fated to be childless or how many kids we are supposed to have?
答：Let me simplified into two categories for "childless".

“先天” 父母先天命理结合起来的条件。在命理学上，倒是可以看得出夫妻之间生儿育女的"指标"有多少（几率有多高的意思）。命理八字在研究生育是做得到，不过，只是一个大概的探讨。方可略知是否能享有儿孙福以及机率怀几个孩子。另外值得一提的是，老来得子的案例不多，但并不是不可能。

“后天” damaged reproductive organ（e.g. 子宫内膜异位（severe endometriosis）、输软管严重赌塞、卵巢癌、testicular cancer、severe priapism & etc.）is the main cause of it. 后天产生的，实在是无话可言。工厂停止生产又闹罢工，几乎没希望了。

夫妇要知道有没有希望怀孕，或者到底是不是无子的话，不如看自己是否属于‘后天’或者‘先天’性。

 

[snoopy77]

hi jolyon, thanks for all the infor , really valueable......
i also pray at Erawan temple Bangkok last dec, to pray for a baby, but fail in Mar FET.... is this bcos not sincere enough? i also always pray at bugis guan yin temple....
i will hav FET again in jun, really hope will success.....
btw, how can i know whether i hav 孩子命?

 

[snoopy77]

hi jolyon, thanks for all the infor , really valueable......
i also pray at Erawan temple Bangkok last dec, to pray for a baby, but fail in Mar FET.... is this bcos not sincere enough? i also always pray at bugis guan yin temple....
i will hav FET again in jun, really hope will success.....
btw, how can i know whether i hav 孩子命?

 

[shirlenzo]

Jolyon,

When u quoted 'Confused's' post, are u confident that chanting will definitely help to deliver a healthy baby? There is scientific reason for the baby hands' deformity. It happens 1 in 1200 birth.

If you are trying to say 'MAYBE', please refrain from giving examples. Cos it's so easy to say 'Maybe' and seems like maybe many other ways are related too. 如果，或许。。话语毫无份量。 人也易信口开河。

 

[sunbelle]

Hi Jolyon

I have two miscarriages before having a baby successfully last year. But like what you say, after Zhao du, u feel much better. I only pay for one year Zhao du. Now intending to try for second one by found cyst to be the hurdle. yeah question is whether do we need the Zhao du service every year huh? Or we jus need to do one time ..

 

[sunbelle]

Hi Jolyon,

I m impressed with the knowledge that you have

yeah very professional level. Jus to consult you further is that zhu Sheng niang niang also located in Joo Chiat Guang yin Miao at trembling road right ?

 

[jwork]

jolyon
what you said made me felt better in a sense. i would think isit our fault that we dun have what we wish to have.

thanks for yr advise.

 

[jwork]

and what does 福报 mean?

 

[jwork]

and if i want to know whether i would ever have a boy in my life or not, i can ask professional to calculate couple's (八字)? am i right?

 

[catfitz]

I just want to share my own experiences with 念佛 and 回向。I had a miscarriage in 2003 and was devastated. I was not religious then but was at such a loss, I delved into buddhism and started to chant and dedicate merits. I got pregnant 3 months later upon my first try. It was not a smooth pregnancy as I had bleeding and was hospitalised. I nearly lost my no. 1. I prayed and chanted daily and I managed to give birth to my no. 1 smoothly.

I had begun on strengthening my faith and chanted often. I tried very hard to get pregnant with no. 2 but failed. On Vesak Day 2006, I went to a puja and seeked for a child from Green Tara. I got pregnant the next month but it was detected with no heartbeat at week 5 and 6 week. The doctor said that I had to do D & C if there was no heartbeat at subsequent week. I was devastated and began chanting 普门品. I thought that the baby was lost as I had started bleeding. I went to 放生 to dedicate merits to my baby so that it would have a better rebirth. Guess what?? The baby's heartbeat was detected after that! I was so grateful and chanted faithfully throughout the whole pregnancy. However, when my no.2 was born, he was diagnosed to have a imperforated anus. I was very sad and the drs said to monitor him for other deformities (this condition will usually accompany other forms of deformities and had to go through other ops). I thnk I must have been blessed as my no. 2 did not have to go through any op at all as his was a very mild case. I only needed to dilate him for a few months. He is a normal and healthy child today.

I wanted a third child. On Vesak Day 2009, I went to Green Tara to pray for one and I got pregnant again the next month. Again, I prayed and chanted 观世音佛号and 大悲咒 faithfully。I had bleeding initially but it stopped and had a healthy baby.I also 放生 monthly. Last year during one of the MMRs jabs, the pd realised that he had a heart murmur (it can be serious). I was very worried and it stayed for a yr before I had a detailed heart scan a few weeks ago.It turned out to be an innocent murmur. I was so relieved!

It has been a tough journey with how I got my 3 boys. I understand what you are going through. I believe I have been blessed and 积德 does help in having extra blessings.Till today, I 印经and 施药 and 放生 regularly to accumulate merits for all of them and not forgetting my daily chanting and dedication of merits. It has helped me in strenghtening me in my faith.

 

[renewal]

I totally agree with you Catfitz. I did almost as what you did..it was also buddha's arrangement back then, that my office near buddha tooth relic temple. I went there to chant dabeizhou daily at lunchtime,throughout my ectopic pregnancy treatment and finally my natural pregnancy at 39.

..and,working at chinatown area gives me the opportunity to see many unfortunate people , old, handicapped,etc...so,my heart went out to them..i gave them $or my packets of food whenever i bumped onto them. I believe helping a needy directly better than thru charity organisations...although, i also sent donation cheques of my affordability amount to the listed organisations of all religion back then...i will make a silent transfer merits before i wrote a cheque donation..i believe all these acts had helped me survive 29-42jabs of chemo mtx for ectopic and then pregnant...

We had scared for 9month...the triple screening test showed high risk of down syndrome although amniotic fluid test shows normal..

After the delivery, i got my mother to help me offer thankyou to all the buddhist temples i went for praying,chanting. After my confinement period, i personally went to these temples again to thank buddhas, bodhisatvas...

Praying full heartedly greatly helps us overcome all sickness also.

 

[pyng]

thanks for all the great sharings! Want to thanks Jolyon for her kind advice too.

I want to share my experience too. My lst child was blessed by Si Ma Lu Guan Yin Niang Niang. I was very lucky as my lst pregnancy was smooth and healthy. Till then, i will always make it a point to visit bugis temple. Another impt note to tell mummies that whatever we pray or promise, we must return our thanks and keep our promise. I have bad experience for not keeping my promise and i regretted strongly. And i also strongly believe in retribution and karma.

I thought of chanting but duno how to start and btw can share & explain how to 印经,施药 and 放生?

 

[Bbliss]

Jolyon, your advices and sharing here r so valuable to us. Would appreciate if u can share yr advices here pertaining to e following:

1) 以佛学角度来看， 人是否犯错一次就罪不可似？

2) 求神拜佛时，许愿时，揪杯第一次是两杯朝下, 第二次才是胜杯。这代表什么意思？

谢谢。

 

[catfitz]

You can just walk into any temple e.g 居士林,光明山 office and tell them you want to 施药,印经,they will help you do the necessary.For 放生,I either join an organisation like 生命协会,or some privately organised trips to go out to sea to 放生.Sometimes I go to bird shop to buy a few birds, go to a big field and use the 放生仪轨 and 放生。

 

[renewal]

I can't read mandarin and my hanyupinyin is lousy,.so long, as you able to muster whatever sounds you can directly chant out from the book, it is very effective cos buddha and all bodhisatva able to listen. This is what i have been doing all these while..your earnest sincerity can be greatly sensed.

 

[catfitz]

Just chant names of buddhas like a mi tuo fo 阿弥陀佛 or guan shi yin pu sa 观世音菩萨 or om mani padme hum repeatedly.Remember to dedicate merits to all sentient beings besides your closed ones.The merits will come back to you many folds.You do not need to chant 心经 or 大悲咒 or any sutras like 阿弥陀经 to accumulate merits.All you need is sincerity.The sutras serve to remind us of certain things like 心经 is about emptiness and 阿弥陀经 reminds us about attaining enlightment and being reborn in pureland and 地藏经is about filial piety.

 

[toblerone]

Caviar (shirlenzo), May 07, 2013 - 1:43 am</font>
When u quoted 'Confused's' post, are u confident that chanting will definitely help to deliver a healthy baby? There is scientific reason for the baby hands' deformity. It happens 1 in 1200 birth.

You believe in science.

因果定义，你信则有，不信则无。