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What happen when you file for divorce?

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by sengsm, Jun 14, 2018.

  1. sengsm

    sengsm New Member

    I was granted a court order for access to see my daughter in mid Dec 2016. The application for the above court order was serve by way of substituted service via MMS.
    In late Dec 2016, I sent a copy of the court order to my ex-spouse. There was sufficient proof that she had received the court order, however she just ignored the court order.
    In mid Mar 2017, I again sent a copy of the court order (this time amended to include a penal notice) to her.
    During a case conference in mid Mar 2017, the judge want me to contact her by phone and talk to her and record down what happen in a supplementary affidavit to file in court. So 2 days later, I followed the judge's directions to contact her by phone which I supposed what the judge want me to do is to clarify with her on the access to the child. Therefore I brought up to her several times during the telephone call about the access to the child and several times, she did not deny knowing about the court orders but she said she do not want to obey the court orders but want to follow the orders during the divorce earlier in 2015 with no access, therefore I recorded in the supplementary affidavit that she want to stick to the orders during the divorce earlier. I also recorded in the supplementary affidavit that I had sent her the court orders in late Dec 2016 and mid Mar 2017.
    In mid Apr 2017, when my ex-spouse and I meet at a case conference, she also informed the mandarin interpreter(a short and slim lady at the family registry who walk with a limp), that she do not want to obey the court orders, in front of the judge. The judge instructed her to engage a lawyer. On that day, I also served her the court documents to commence committal proceedings which I had prepared.
    During the divorce from 2013 to 2015, I represented myself(litigant-in-person) although I am green and my ex-spouse is illiterate and she engage a lawyer who took advantage of the situation that I am green and my ex-spouse is illiterate, by producing a lot of lies in her affidavits apparently to polish his skill of lying to court, although the lies did not affected the outcome of the divorce because my divorce was simple with not much assets compared to some divorces with assets of millions of dollars. (Family issues are very sensitive issues, morally I doubt lawyers are allow to lie so excessively.)
    This time she again engage the same lawyer who filed an application to set aside the court orders, in early Jun 2017.
    My ex-spouse then gave an absurd excuse for setting aside the court orders by claiming that she was not aware of any application for access because she did not received the court documents for the application, when she already received copies of the court orders 2 times, in early Jan 2017 and in mid Mar 2017(which is verifiable by a lie-detector test) and is aware of the application but just ignored them and furthermore waited until the judge instructed me to contact her during a case conference in mid Mar 2017 and then she said that she do not want to obey that court orders.
    And because the lawyer produced a lot of lies to court during the divorce, he had to continue to lie to court apparently not to break his character to court (if he stop lying, the court who have access to all the affidavits will know that he was lying in past affidavits which will affects his credibility). (On the other hand, it is very difficult for litigant-in-person to lie in the affidavit because litigant-in-person got to face the judge during case conferences and hearing whereas in the case of lawyer no matter how much he lied in client's affidavits, he show no emotions in front of the judge.)
    And to cover-up the fact that my ex-spouse already knew about the court orders since early Jan 2017 and was aware of the application, her lawyer blatantly lied to court in her affidavit that she was only aware of the court orders after she engaged him in Jun 2017(although actually 6 mths before she engaged him, she already knew about the court orders). Unfairly, the court orders were set aside. I wrote to the family registry that the lawyer is a liar and the family registry want me to filed another application but did not say what application. However, if I filed another application, my ex-spouse will engage this liar again and has to pay him legal fees of $5K - $8K again and I will also have to pay a lawyer $5K -$8K. This lawyer is a veteran who knew very well that lying will let him earn more legal fees from his client, so should I fall into his trap and also lure my ex-spouse into his trap?
    Before the court orders were set aside, my ex-spouse would bring the child to see me once every few months because she knows I love the child very much and I had given thousands of dollars to her voluntarily to spend on the child, additionally every time she brought the child to see me, I would spend hundreds of dollars bringing her and the child to shopping centers to buy toys and eat although she do not want to obey the court orders. But now she do not bring the child to see me anymore and I also do not have the chances to give her money for the child or spend money on the child anymore because I do not see the child. Do you think the lawyer's lies is in the best interest of the child?
    My ex-spouse is a foreigner, when she was married to me, she cheated the Immigration & Checkpoints Authority of Singapore(ICA) by working illegally at KTV nightclub for several years. Look like that is not enough, after divorce her lawyer cheated the court to set aside the court orders she don't want to obey, which is very disgusting to me, a Singaporean. Moreover I had already filed an application for an order of committal to enforce the court orders which she said she do not want to obey. She may perceived that as a foreigner, she can do anything she like in Singapore since she was able to cheat ICA for so many years and easily set aside the court orders she don't want to obey. Does any Singaporean disagree that it is unacceptable for foreigner to be able to do that in Singapore?
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2018


  2. Cindy Tay

    Cindy Tay Member

    I bet you have received your final interim already right?
    Depending on final interim or discussion with your ex wife beforehand, if stating in there allow you to visit your child, or bring her out etc, and if she disobey or ignore, you can file a summon against her. Whether she engage a lawyer to fight or not is another matter. But if court found out that that's the fact, she may be sue... Depending on the times she ignored/disobey, she may even get heavy sentence, and amending of final interim (like child custody to you) in the end.
     
  3. sengsm

    sengsm New Member

    I received my final judgement for divorce in late Feb 2015 with no access.
    After the divorce, I applied for access and was given a court order for access in mid Dec 2016 but she do not want to obey that court order and she get her lawyer who lied a lot for her during the divorce to lie again to court to set aside the court order as described above.
     
  4. gladjo

    gladjo Active Member

    Hi sengsm

    Well, now you understand first hand what I also went through when I self represent and why i keep telling everyone, Lawyers are a bunch of liars and in court truth and lie always overlap.

    Is your child in Singapore ? IF you still would very much want to see your kid and keep fighting, I suggest try the other means which means playing what the Lawyers do and charge alot btw $3-5k. PM me if you want to go that way.

    God bless
     
  5. Fighting is wasting of time n resource.
    Calm down and use other method, mediation.
    The longer u fight then the longer the issue will drag
     
  6. Fighting is wasting of time n resource.
    Calm down and use other method, mediation.
    The longer u fight then the longer the issue will drag
     
  7. Who u kidding. Hacking of handphone is illegal no matter what.
     
  8. Eppy

    Eppy Member

    All these are not admissible in court. Think a lawyer wants his or her client to be slapped with computer misuse act?
     
  9. sengsm

    sengsm New Member

    What I went through first hand in court as a litigant-in-person tells me that what you said is not true. You have to agree with the active member "gladjo" who also went through first hand (in court) as a litigant-in-person that lawyers are a bunch of liars and truth and lie always overlap. From the experience that I went through, people who go to court with a mindset like you have written in your post are very naive and will be very disappointed because truth and lie overlap in court.
    My advice to those who is contemplating divorce is that if it is your partner who did more wrong during the marriage, it is not you who is going to win in the divorce contrary to what you think but your partner who is going to win in the divorce, this is very unfair but you got to accept it right from the start. So if you are the "victim" in a marriage, don't think that the court is going to be on your side when you file for divorce because the court is not going to be on your side.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2018

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