Join inHi, I was wondering if this thread is still active. Just trying my luck. I've married for a year but everytime hubby tries to penetrate me I experience pain. I know my hymen is broken because the first time he enters with a condom it can enter a bit but over time its painful. Do any of you know where I can get the set of dilators. Saw one from the US or maybe there's more in the market. Thank you in advance.
Hi yes. I just went to see Dr Jess from Dr Tan and partners at Katong and she's so wonderful and patience. I bought a kit from her and she showed me how to use it at home together with my hubby. It's only day 3 but with determination I'm willing to work hard to solve my problem. Any qns for me dear?Hi
Anybody still in the forum ??
Hi do you mind share your experiences with me and how long it took for you to overcome this?im still here but active in another thread haha, if you read all the post from this thread, you probably have pretty much most of the info needed, but if anyone still wanna talk to a post-vag person, you can PM me.
Hi all! New member here. I have been married a month but am still unable to have penetrative sex too. My dilators arrived last week, and after a lot of attempts i managed to get the first one almost altogether in. It only happened once however and I haven't succeeded since, and in my next attempt with a tampon, I could only get half in. Going to see a gynae two weeks from now to rule out other causes (and since we plan to try for a baby at the end of the year we might as well get checked).
Oh well for the sake of our hubbies let's keep trying! i never imagined sex would be so difficult hahaha. And keep this thread alive so that the girls who come after us know that they are not alone.![]()
Hi all,
I chanced upon this forum while seeking help from Google. My wife and I have been married for 2 years and we still have not consummated our marriage. We are both virgins and did not know how to do it on our first night.
Tried doing it subsequently and I was unable to penetrate. I was able to finger her but only with one finger and when I inserted more than one finger, she would feel the pain. Consulted GP and was prescribed Viagra to aid my erection and I definitely feel that my erection was much better but still not good enough to penetrate. Went back to the same GP and was told that she could be having vaginismus and recommended us Dr Martha Lee.
We are not sure what the problem is. Is it me or her? Or both of us? Does anyone know the appropriate channel to seek for help? Like what kind of doctors/specialists to look for? I read about Dr Yu Su Ling from SGH and Dr Tan and partners from the above posts. Appreciate if anyone with similar experience could share with us.
Many thanks!
Is it normal to experience sharp burning pain during first time penetration? My hb stop each time I experience this pain. I’m still clueless if I have this condition![]()
Hi, may I know if anyone still suffer from vaginismus?
I am married for 3 years, unable to sexual intercourse with my hubby. These 3 years bring me disappointment, depressed and loss.
I went to visit a gynae recently, she felt my problem could see a psychiatrist for help and which she refer me to 1.
May I know by seeing a psychiatrist does it help much?
My problem I feel is I cannot relax during the whole process, my body will curve up once my hubby try to finger me. Even I use the dilator , the smallest one cannot get in. I feel uncomfortable and tried to push it away.
I really need help if anyone has ever success being treated.
Thanks
Hi, may I know if anyone still suffer from vaginismus?
I am married for 3 years, unable to sexual intercourse with my hubby. These 3 years bring me disappointment, depressed and loss.
I went to visit a gynae recently, she felt my problem could see a psychiatrist for help and which she refer me to 1.
May I know by seeing a psychiatrist does it help much?
My problem I feel is I cannot relax during the whole process, my body will curve up once my hubby try to finger me. Even I use the dilator , the smallest one cannot get in. I feel uncomfortable and tried to push it away.
I really need help if anyone has ever success being treated.
Thanks
Hi Everyone, I a m having the same issue and can't intercourse for few months. We have lack confident to go on for trying, partly come from my side. I will visit Dr Jess tomorrow to perform the checkup if my body works in order.
I just hope this thread is still active, it has turn me down and depression for everything in my life.
We are newly couple who married last Mid Year and because of stress and exhausted lifestyle, we never tried it until been this few months. At first, we throught the problem is my Hubby so he went for circumcision and it still never works (slightly better). The penetration like a blocking wall and I didnt even know where is the direction to penetrate (we were both virgins) .I feel fear and finger was able to insert sometimes but my heart beats was super fast, anxious.
Pls help me , i am sinking down. and I am glad i found this website
Hi Zard, I am glad at least you give me a reply and you won't realize it helps me to boost up my self-confident. I hope I will meet with the right Doctor . It takes courage to express this embarrassing and shame issue to someone and I hope next year I am able to pregnant as I am at the mid of thirty. Alarm clock is ticking me and i can't get through my life peacefully.
Hi everyone! I’m new here and would like to ask for your opinion...
I was married a few years ago but my Husband and I had a divorce because we couldn’t consummate our marriage. As we were quite young then I didnt know there’s such thing as vaginismus. Thus, we didn’t seek help from any doct or counsellor.
Now, I’m worried about getting to know man or remarrying because of my vaginismus issue. Would any man ever want to marry someone who can’t consummate a marriage? I always in tears whenever I think about this.
My question is... should I seek help about this issue although I’m single now? I would appreciate it too if you can recommend any doct that I can go to. Thank you![]()
Hi. simplyn . I would be glad if I can able to help out in this matter. I am sorry as right now i am facing the same issue as well and plan to go for doctor for this coming weekend. Would recommend you if the doctor is kind and patient enough to sort out the issue with me.
I do understand your feeling and please do not give up and continue to seek help although you are single but who knows, you will meet with the right person at the right timing. I hope this message would cheer you up as I do not wish that someone like me always living in tears, worries , hopeless, depressed . At least, it is not too late or strange when there is a best word to describe as "vaginismus". If you are reading this message right now, you have my best prayer from me.
With all my supports and we will walk through this path, you are not alone my dear![]()
Hi everyone! I’m new here and would like to ask for your opinion...
I was married a few years ago but my Husband and I had a divorce because we couldn’t consummate our marriage. As we were quite young then I didnt know there’s such thing as vaginismus. Thus, we didn’t seek help from any doct or counsellor.
Now, I’m worried about getting to know man or remarrying because of my vaginismus issue. Would any man ever want to marry someone who can’t consummate a marriage? I always in tears whenever I think about this.
My question is... should I seek help about this issue although I’m single now? I would appreciate it too if you can recommend any doct that I can go to. Thank you![]()
Hi, how ur visit with your doctor? Is she or he helpful? I do also need help. ThanksHi. simplyn . I would be glad if I can able to help out in this matter. I am sorry as right now i am facing the same issue as well and plan to go for doctor for this coming weekend. Would recommend you if the doctor is kind and patient enough to sort out the issue with me.
I do understand your feeling and please do not give up and continue to seek help although you are single but who knows, you will meet with the right person at the right timing. I hope this message would cheer you up as I do not wish that someone like me always living in tears, worries , hopeless, depressed . At least, it is not too late or strange when there is a best word to describe as "vaginismus". If you are reading this message right now, you have my best prayer from me.
With all my supports and we will walk through this path, you are not alone my dear![]()
Hi
I think the first thing for you to do is to discuss with your ex hubby about vaginismus see if he is willing to go through this journey with you since now that you realise the main issue that caused the divorce is because of the unconsummated marriage. Also its not easy to go through this journey by yourself.
At the moment, you might consider :
1. buying the kit first, read others experience from the vag forum and this forum.
2. practice kegel
3. Practice the dilators.
4. Eventually you will need a partner (who is your ex hubby in this case) to actually practice the most important "exercise" - intercourse.
Cheers
Hi, how ur visit with your doctor? Is she or he helpful? I do also need help. Thanks
Hi Simply and Dumbo, I just want to update you that I just visited Dr Jess from Dr Tan & Partner. FYI, she is no longer under Dr Tan & Partner and you may contact her at 8808 8027 for her personal contact for the appointment. She is a good doctor and discuss with an open arm , without prejudice and with encouragement. Strongly encourage both of you try to visit her. You won't felt embarrassing and no harsh feeling , trust me.
However, please bring your own dilator as the dilator from her clinic is expensive which is $270+. I was ordered through vaginismus.com . My first visit was about an hour and success to insert 3 dilators with the numbing cream and lubricant. With the numbing cream, i believe it will distract your fearful .
I tried to insert smallest and no 2 size dilators after went home without numbing cream and it was successful without pain or discomfort. I felt the physical is whereby the mindset which block you ahead and I tried to take a deep breath, prayed , sing while insert the dilators (try any method which comfort you). According to my hubby, the first move to spread your leg widely is the key point as the tense muscle will affect the hymen of your vagina. Foremost, you have to stay on relax mode.
My consultation one hour is about $280 but we learnt something and some sex knowledge as well and she is a nice, open-minded lady and here you go, I hope this message does boost up both of your feeling and outside there, for anybody who experience this.
At least, take a step to visit gynae to ensure our hymen is healthy and you are one step closer to the goal.
I will continue practise and I hope soon and sooner, the rainbow will be seen after the storm. with lots of hugs
Hi anyone still on this thread? I just wanna know if Vaginismus goes away itself. My husband is blaming me for this and our relationship is bad enough to go for a divorce. Will it go away if I keep attempting love making and ignore the pain?
Hi anyone still on this thread? I just wanna know if Vaginismus goes away itself. My husband is blaming me for this and our relationship is bad enough to go for a divorce. Will it go away if I keep attempting love making and ignore the pain?
After a year, I still unable to do it sadly... However I chat with the gynae and read some stuffs online... Because I want to get pregnant due to my age, I can go for IUI or IVF ... I might try either of this option.Hi, how ur visit with your doctor? Is she or he helpful? I do also need help. Thanks