Urgent advice on PI/Lawyer/Divorce/Flat and Child Custody

Budian

New Member
Hi all, there are too many threads and I don’t know which to comment in, but i need urgent advice, so i have to open up a new thread.

I have a 2yr old flat and a 5yr old kid. My PI got photos of my husband hugging a nightclub lady(but no kissing). I found a condom in his wallet too. PI told me i can only file for divorce under unreasonable behaviour instead of adultery.

My question now is:
1. Is there any difference between adultery and unreasonable? Can my husband contest for both? As i heard that adultery cannot contest while unreasonable can.
2. Due to my flat is only 2yrs, i want to take over the flat and buy over his share, provided i have the custody of my kid. Is it possible?
3. How much can a lawyer fee cost?
 


margret

Active Member
1。of course there is a difference. Both he also can contest.

2. If u get the care n control of your children u are eligible to take over flat .
 

Eppy

Member
Hi all, there are too many threads and I don’t know which to comment in, but i need urgent advice, so i have to open up a new thread.

I have a 2yr old flat and a 5yr old kid. My PI got photos of my husband hugging a nightclub lady(but no kissing). I found a condom in his wallet too. PI told me i can only file for divorce under unreasonable behaviour instead of adultery.

My question now is:
1. Is there any difference between adultery and unreasonable? Can my husband contest for both? As i heard that adultery cannot contest while unreasonable can.
2. Due to my flat is only 2yrs, i want to take over the flat and buy over his share, provided i have the custody of my kid. Is it possible?
3. How much can a lawyer fee cost?
1. Yes there is difference. He can contest for both, it’s up to the judge to believe whose story. Yah you can only contest under unreasonable behavior.
2. You can take over if you have the sole care n control. Custody is normally joint.
3. It can range from 3500 upwards depending on what you both can agree on cuz there are still child maintenance, access time, matrimonial assets to settle.
 

siman

Member
Hi Eppy
I learnt for adultery, it must be filed without 6 months of either he admitted or there is proof. After this period, it would be considered as acceptance by partner.
I have missed this period. For my case, he goes out till morning nowadays so lawyer say can file as unreasonable behaviour.

My case will be contested on child custody and fee can go up to 35k
 

siman

Member
Anyone has good lawyer to recommend? My hub commit adultery which he admit. That was 3 years ago. We tried to stay on but I think I cannot. We will proceed divorce.
 

margret

Active Member
Hi Eppy
I learnt for adultery, it must be filed without 6 months of either he admitted or there is proof. After this period, it would be considered as acceptance by partner.
I have missed this period. For my case, he goes out till morning nowadays so lawyer say can file as unreasonable behaviour.

My case will be contested on child custody and fee can go up to 35k
U wan to file that he have being going out till morning. Do u have prove? If he counter he didn't then how u wan to proceed. Better to get evidence.

First of All, he wan to fight care n control, If he taking care of kids? Before he wan to fight for care n control both of u have to go counselling n come up with a parent plan. Don't worry, unless he have good ground if not he can't fight care n control maybe access time.
 

margret

Active Member
Anyone has good lawyer to recommend? My hub commit adultery which he admit. That was 3 years ago. We tried to stay on but I think I cannot. We will proceed divorce.
Even if he admit Now, he go court n say he didn't, moreover it's so long ago. Advice u is to take evidence of what is happening now
 

Budian

New Member
Hi Eppy
I learnt for adultery, it must be filed without 6 months of either he admitted or there is proof. After this period, it would be considered as acceptance by partner.
I have missed this period. For my case, he goes out till morning nowadays so lawyer say can file as unreasonable behaviour.

My case will be contested on child custody and fee can go up to 35k
Wow 35k omg! I pray he don’t contest as i will go easy for his access.. will let him see my kid as and when he want, and even allow my kid to go over his side and stay overnight.
 

Budian

New Member
For me, i have photos from the PI, so he cannot argue or fight back if i file under unreasonable. But one thing I’m worry is that he will go violent or do something rash if i ask for D. This is what I’m very worried about. (Maybe i watch too much dramas )
 

Budian

New Member
1. Yes there is difference. He can contest for both, it’s up to the judge to believe whose story. Yah you can only contest under unreasonable behavior.
2. You can take over if you have the sole care n control. Custody is normally joint.
3. It can range from 3500 upwards depending on what you both can agree on cuz there are still child maintenance, access time, matrimonial assets to settle.
Oh thank you, but my PI told me it’s not easy to take over the flat (buy over his share) if I don’t have the capability or money. This worries me too.
 

margret

Active Member
Oh thank you, but my PI told me it’s not easy to take over the flat (buy over his share) if I don’t have the capability or money. This worries me too.
Of course u need to have enough money to pay back his CPF. Unless he willing to transfer his share of ownership without having to return his CPF
 

Eppy

Member
For me, i have photos from the PI, so he cannot argue or fight back if i file under unreasonable. But one thing I’m worry is that he will go violent or do something rash if i ask for D. This is what I’m very worried about. (Maybe i watch too much dramas )
Hi Budian,
How come it’s only photos? it should be video n report. With or without PI, they still can choose whether to contest or not. It’s within their rights to contest.
If you want to divorce just tell him that you want to divorce but don’t show your cards.
 

Eppy

Member
Hi Eppy
I learnt for adultery, it must be filed without 6 months of either he admitted or there is proof. After this period, it would be considered as acceptance by partner.
I have missed this period. For my case, he goes out till morning nowadays so lawyer say can file as unreasonable behaviour.

My case will be contested on child custody and fee can go up to 35k
35k is cheap mine is 50k but because he contest for a lot of nonsensical reasons in the end he forked out about 12k of my fees.

Actually if you can agree on the grounds of divorce it’s the best. Leave the money for ancillary matters trials - cuz they can say no money for child maintenance no this no that. Fight for access rights just to make you bend down.
 

margret

Active Member
35k is cheap mine is 50k but because he contest for a lot of nonsensical reasons in the end he forked out about 12k of my fees.

Actually if you can agree on the grounds of divorce it’s the best. Leave the money for ancillary matters trials - cuz they can say no money for child maintenance no this no that. Fight for access rights just to make you bend down.
35k is not cheap. Have to watch what u wan to contest. For instance if he ask to give 200 lesser maintaince or 2hours more maintenece just give in.
U don't have million of dollars of asset don't waste so much money for a lawyer.
 

Budian

New Member
Hi Budian,
How come it’s only photos? it should be video n report. With or without PI, they still can choose whether to contest or not. It’s within their rights to contest.
If you want to divorce just tell him that you want to divorce but don’t show your cards.
Oh... i haven’t seen the report yet. But there’s no mention of the video by the PI at all. And i was thinking to show the evidence first then i ask for D. At least he got nothing to say as i already have the proof. I only worry he will turn violent and hit me..
 

Budian

New Member
35k is cheap mine is 50k but because he contest for a lot of nonsensical reasons in the end he forked out about 12k of my fees.

Actually if you can agree on the grounds of divorce it’s the best. Leave the money for ancillary matters trials - cuz they can say no money for child maintenance no this no that. Fight for access rights just to make you bend down.
Wow.. i was still hoping to settle the flat and child maintenance privately. No arguments and no need to bring to court i mean.
 

Eppy

Member
Oh... i haven’t seen the report yet. But there’s no mention of the video by the PI at all. And i was thinking to show the evidence first then i ask for D. At least he got nothing to say as i already have the proof. I only worry he will turn violent and hit me..
never confront in private with evidence first. Anyway it’s really up to you.
 

Eppy

Member
Wow.. i was still hoping to settle the flat and child maintenance privately. No arguments and no need to bring to court i mean.
Seriously it’s really up to you. If can settle privately - its the best. However, the moment you say he will get violent, it’s already a signal that it will not be a easy divorce that can settle privately.
 

JL8118

Active Member
From what I known, as your flat is under 5 years old, by law have to sell to open market.
However, you can appeal to purchase it (through HDB) after the divorce. Of course if he doesn't consent to sell you his shares, or even he wants the flat, then both of you have to 'fight' over it as well. Either party win, the other party have to compensate the other party. ie: Top up the CPF used... And even based on market price, have to 'pay' the other party 50% of the price.
Example: You purchase at 500k. Open market value is 550k. So total each is 275k. After deducting his CPF lets' say 100k, you still have to pay him 175k Something like that..
 

Budian

New Member
You can just say my friend saw you with a girl and etc.
Actually I’m not good with words and I’m not a good liar too. This is actually my 2nd marriage, as for my previous marriage, my family was with me to bring up divorce to my ex as I don’t have the courgae to do so. The same for this time round, I’m scared. I’m not going to salvage this marriage at all. Who can tolerate her husband keeping a condom in his wallet? Who can tolerate her husband hugging ktv ladies and kissing them?
 

Daisy_lady

New Member
DO NOT ENGAGE YEO ASSOCIATE LLC.

The whole experience working with them on my case is terrifying and extremely disappointing. Waste of my money and it is really a very bad choice to use them.
 

JL8118

Active Member
Actually I’m not good with words and I’m not a good liar too. This is actually my 2nd marriage, as for my previous marriage, my family was with me to bring up divorce to my ex as I don’t have the courgae to do so. The same for this time round, I’m scared. I’m not going to salvage this marriage at all. Who can tolerate her husband keeping a condom in his wallet? Who can tolerate her husband hugging ktv ladies and kissing them?
If you have proof, just file for divorce.
Yes. I think most woman can't tolerate their husband, hugging or kissing any other girls.
 

lynnzo

Member
Hi all, there are too many threads and I don’t know which to comment in, but i need urgent advice, so i have to open up a new thread.

I have a 2yr old flat and a 5yr old kid. My PI got photos of my husband hugging a nightclub lady(but no kissing). I found a condom in his wallet too. PI told me i can only file for divorce under unreasonable behaviour instead of adultery.

My question now is:
1. Is there any difference between adultery and unreasonable? Can my husband contest for both? As i heard that adultery cannot contest while unreasonable can.
2. Due to my flat is only 2yrs, i want to take over the flat and buy over his share, provided i have the custody of my kid. Is it possible?
3. How much can a lawyer fee cost?

hi;
1) there is insufficient proof to say your spouse is committing adultery.. you need very strong proof to convince the judge that its adultery ie he & another gal check-into hotel for more than 3 hrs / videos of them having sex..even got photos of them kissing, not strong enuf to proof adultery.
the diff is, adultery, u can bring in the 3rd party and charge her in court..whereas for unreasonable behaviour, no 3rd party will be mentioned.
2)yes, u can take over his share of the house provided he agreed to it..
3)legal fees depending on whether contested or not..

just to share my experience, I recently filed for divorce and was finalised in July.. found out my idiot ex spouse was having affair behind my back and gotten a PI to gather evidence, as i found out that I need an independent 3rd party's evidence to be able to use in court.. my own evidence if not strong enough.. while the PI was doing their work, I pretended I don't know anything in order not to arouse his suspicious...

I have joint custody wif the idiot, but the Care & Control is under me( my kids 9yrs & 7 yrs ).. I took over his share of our matrimonial flat with ZERO refund to his CPF ( means I don't pay him a single cent).. I took over his car with ZERO payment to him .. of cos I have to take up a new loan for the hse / car under my name.. I got monthly maintenance of total $2k for both my kids and $1 alimony for myself..court ordered him to pay for the PI ($4k+ ) & legal costs ($3k +) as well..but until today he still haven't finish paying me back( I allow him to pay bk via installment)

but of cos, provided your spouse is not going to contest la.. my case, he didn't even bother to contest.. fyi, he's not doing very well..his salary is less than $5k /mth ..
 

margret

Active Member
Most of the thing is correct except for adultery doesn't need 3 hours only need an hour and doesn't need to take video of them having sex. U only need to get the hotel room number and take a video of them entering or leaving the hotel
 

lynnzo

Member
Most of the thing is correct except for adultery doesn't need 3 hours only need an hour and doesn't need to take video of them having sex. U only need to get the hotel room number and take a video of them entering or leaving the hotel
Tis im not so sure, as based on wat the PI told me, need to have solid proof tat the defendant’s lawyer canot rebute.. if just have video of them going in and out of the room, their defense can be, ‘oh just go inside the room to take thgs.. bla bla’.. so my PI advised dun leave them any room for defense! Otherwise will jeopardise the case.. anyway, aft i gotten the video, i double check with my lawyer first before i ‘flare’ out.. my PIs even checked into the same hotel, on the same floor , opposite their room
N camped whole nite!! Thank God managed to get solid evidence!
 

margret

Active Member
Oh dear. Maybe your PI is not experience enough n doesn't know how to take evidence.
If can't prove adultery then why did the PI check in. Wasting money.
My PI was quite experience. He took shot of them going into the hotel and follow them up to the room. He states in the report only both of them entered the room and they guarded the room making sure during that period of time and other person went in or came out of the room. My PI told me they are using circumstances evidence to prove adultery and the burden will be on the respondent to prove otherwise. He can give reason but if u are not having sex in the hotel then what u do? Watch tv?hahaha. Do u the judge will believe?
 
Yes. Wat margret say is truth.

Either your PI is inexperience or he doesn't know his job.

How to catch them in bed? Break open the door like police raid?

When the PI doing the case, he should put all his observation in the PI report. When the person go to the counter to check in with a women then proceed to go up to the room. And if he give excuse he is taking something, do u think the excise is valid?
 

JL8118

Active Member
I also agreed with margret and newlife2010
A professional PI don't need really catch the person on bed having sex or what
As long as they have sufficient proof, that's good enough.
That time my PI get the video cam tape from the hotel... Which show my ex hubby and the mistress entering the hotel room together... And even show of timing entering, and timing exiting...
 

Eppy

Member
I think it depends on what kind of hotel n the location of the room itself. If it’s Hotel 81 and etc is quite standard, if it isn’t then perhaps more evidence is required.
 

Rainbow rain

New Member
I also agreed with margret and newlife2010
A professional PI don't need really catch the person on bed having sex or what
As long as they have sufficient proof, that's good enough.
That time my PI get the video cam tape from the hotel... Which show my ex hubby and the mistress entering the hotel room together... And even show of timing entering, and timing exiting...
Your PI managed to get the hotel to give him their cctv video clip?
 

Eppy

Member
Like what more is needed?
Like what lynnzo said cuz imagine if it’s a 5 stars hotel which needed access cards to lift, or at an awkward corner definitely the PI needs to stay there. N it’s so common to have staycation nowadays perhaps 1 or 2 people are already in the room or otw or it’s really a business meeting. I agreed with what lynnzo said- leave nothing for the lawyer to rebut. As long as they get you the evidence for adultery i think it’s fine besides you get to claim it. And as for you trying to get CCTV from hotel, you must think twice. If it’s not obtain from hotel’s authorized personnel you will get sued for nothing by the hotel. All you need is for your ex to whistle blow to the hotel (if it’s reputable) n you will be sued, the person releasing the footage will also be fired or penalised for trying to help you.
 

Rainbow rain

New Member
So for your case your PI manage to get the hotel authorised staff to release the cctv to you? Can I know how he able to do that?
 

wendy_reborn

Active Member
So for your case your PI manage to get the hotel authorised staff to release the cctv to you? Can I know how he able to do that?
As far as I know no PI have the right to do it.

If PI obtained the cctv from hotel, the hotel will be sue n if PI use money to bride then PI will be charge
 

lynnzo

Member
i mean my PI managed to get enough evidence for me.. if without PI, then u need very solid proof ie recordings of them in bed( if you dont want to spend money on PI).. before my PI checked in to the htl , they asked for my permission first, cos im the one paying for the htl.. they said if possible, they wont check in, but some htl need access card to go up the lift, so no choice they oso booked a room opposite their unit.. i am fine with that, as long as you can get me what i want, go ahead! how much can a night stay cost rite? i even told them go ahead order room service, i will foot the bill ! dont think you can get hotel cctv recording unless you have court order .. otherwise htl will not release.. anyway, within one night, all settled.. i discharged my PI after that night.. but total i paid about $4k for the PI cos they followed them for about 1 week in total..
 

Top