hi, first of all, so sorry this is totally an unrelated topic. but i just don't know where else to look for tips and advices.
main problem: i'm 31 years old and this is so heavy, embarrassing and especially wrong for me to admit, but i think i have a crush on my 21/22 year old nephew.
years ago, when i was in my 20s and he was in his teens, we did have a good/close bond from family gatherings; jokes, teasing, talking about school and interests etc. of course it was just that but i felt that he seemed to try to get closer in terms of physical contact (i may be wrong!) and though i didn't reciprocate, he was somehow "friendly" and we still maintained a close bond until my ex-husband was in the picture and then when we were married and covid happened, we rarely met each other and it just stopped there. i'm really not sure if he was just being friendly or "friendly" or i interpreted wrongly but i always saw him as a lovable, nice and cute nephew who just likes to talk.
just recently during Eid visiting, his family came over and it was nice seeing him after years, just that he was shocked when he saw me because the last time i didn't wear the headscarf but now i am. but we still talked and all, like we did years ago, catching up. but we couldn't talk much because i was really busy attending to his family and other guests. he was just like his normal self too, without being "friendly".
however from then on, it's me. i can't stop thinking about him and how i missed our old time together, like i feel it's turned into a crush for me. like i keep thinking what if i did reciprocate last time? could something have happened? what if that time during visiting we did have more time to talk, would he try to get "friendly" again? now i'm just hoping and wanting to see him again. i hate it and it's just wrong and crazy. wrong because he's a family member and he's so much younger! i don't know what to do now. i just want to get rid of this feeling.
main problem: i'm 31 years old and this is so heavy, embarrassing and especially wrong for me to admit, but i think i have a crush on my 21/22 year old nephew.
years ago, when i was in my 20s and he was in his teens, we did have a good/close bond from family gatherings; jokes, teasing, talking about school and interests etc. of course it was just that but i felt that he seemed to try to get closer in terms of physical contact (i may be wrong!) and though i didn't reciprocate, he was somehow "friendly" and we still maintained a close bond until my ex-husband was in the picture and then when we were married and covid happened, we rarely met each other and it just stopped there. i'm really not sure if he was just being friendly or "friendly" or i interpreted wrongly but i always saw him as a lovable, nice and cute nephew who just likes to talk.
just recently during Eid visiting, his family came over and it was nice seeing him after years, just that he was shocked when he saw me because the last time i didn't wear the headscarf but now i am. but we still talked and all, like we did years ago, catching up. but we couldn't talk much because i was really busy attending to his family and other guests. he was just like his normal self too, without being "friendly".
however from then on, it's me. i can't stop thinking about him and how i missed our old time together, like i feel it's turned into a crush for me. like i keep thinking what if i did reciprocate last time? could something have happened? what if that time during visiting we did have more time to talk, would he try to get "friendly" again? now i'm just hoping and wanting to see him again. i hate it and it's just wrong and crazy. wrong because he's a family member and he's so much younger! i don't know what to do now. i just want to get rid of this feeling.
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