Hi all, I sincerely need some positive advise here and kindly dont post negative ones if you have nothing to advise me.
I have 2 teenage sons and am 42 now. My husband ( self employed ) has always spend his evening time daily, drinking at a nearby coffeeshop with his friends who are elderly . He has never spent time with me, we dont talk unless there is a need to , doesnt bring me out and on those days that we do go out for an hour or so, he will want to go home quickly so that he can meet his friends. he is not the type to smile, or laugh. Where as I am happy type. So his routine will be daily go down, come home drunk and hit me (out of a week,i get hit at least 3 x) . Even a family vacation, means me coming home all bruised . I became skinny and developed darkish eyebags too. I also have a small business.I spent my time sitting at home,watch tv, no friends. This went on for many years .after which one of my client became my very good friend, and she told me to go out and meet other guys. Now this friend has another 2 friends,like 3 musketeers, married but have flings.
So I had a fling with a guy, a foreigner, I would spent my sundays with him , telling at home that I am going office,I started being a happy soul. Life became different. i felt that I have met a person who has breathed air into my life. Now I got exposed by my brother in law ( who was staying with me ) ,He told my hubby that I may be having an affiar, as he saw a cute message on my phone from a guy. So things became bad .My husband digged all info from my phone, he found a photo that I took with my bf. my husband sold the condo and hdb, kept all the money , i shifted to my mum house and took a PPO.
Its been 1.5 years I am staying with my mum , and till today my husband doesnt want to divorce me.he feels that being legally divorced will impact more on the kids. I feel upset that sometimes when I am out with my bF, i see someone that knows me from my husband's circle.
I cant break up with my BF ( He has been my support all this while but not financially ) and also same time, I feel like in a jail whenever I do go back to my husband's rented place to stay with my kids. My husband says that I have robbed my kids of a life. But what about those tortureous times that my husband used to hit me ,and degrade me in front of others in the family and my maids. I dont know what to do . My business has gone down , and now I am looking for a job too . I am left with nothing in my life and have to start from scratch again . I dont have friends or siblings who can advise me what to do . I am not sure if I should go back and stay with my husband cos of my kids, or stay the life I am leading now. But I cant marry my BF cos my husband doesnt want to divorce
Please help .
I have 2 teenage sons and am 42 now. My husband ( self employed ) has always spend his evening time daily, drinking at a nearby coffeeshop with his friends who are elderly . He has never spent time with me, we dont talk unless there is a need to , doesnt bring me out and on those days that we do go out for an hour or so, he will want to go home quickly so that he can meet his friends. he is not the type to smile, or laugh. Where as I am happy type. So his routine will be daily go down, come home drunk and hit me (out of a week,i get hit at least 3 x) . Even a family vacation, means me coming home all bruised . I became skinny and developed darkish eyebags too. I also have a small business.I spent my time sitting at home,watch tv, no friends. This went on for many years .after which one of my client became my very good friend, and she told me to go out and meet other guys. Now this friend has another 2 friends,like 3 musketeers, married but have flings.
So I had a fling with a guy, a foreigner, I would spent my sundays with him , telling at home that I am going office,I started being a happy soul. Life became different. i felt that I have met a person who has breathed air into my life. Now I got exposed by my brother in law ( who was staying with me ) ,He told my hubby that I may be having an affiar, as he saw a cute message on my phone from a guy. So things became bad .My husband digged all info from my phone, he found a photo that I took with my bf. my husband sold the condo and hdb, kept all the money , i shifted to my mum house and took a PPO.
Its been 1.5 years I am staying with my mum , and till today my husband doesnt want to divorce me.he feels that being legally divorced will impact more on the kids. I feel upset that sometimes when I am out with my bF, i see someone that knows me from my husband's circle.
I cant break up with my BF ( He has been my support all this while but not financially ) and also same time, I feel like in a jail whenever I do go back to my husband's rented place to stay with my kids. My husband says that I have robbed my kids of a life. But what about those tortureous times that my husband used to hit me ,and degrade me in front of others in the family and my maids. I dont know what to do . My business has gone down , and now I am looking for a job too . I am left with nothing in my life and have to start from scratch again . I dont have friends or siblings who can advise me what to do . I am not sure if I should go back and stay with my husband cos of my kids, or stay the life I am leading now. But I cant marry my BF cos my husband doesnt want to divorce
Please help .