Support group - Miscarriages

vintageclasp said:
I am in a similar situation. I am supposed to be 8-9 weeks preggy and we went to the doctor today. Doctor said there's isn't any hearbeat and couldn't see the baby as well. The sac is also very small, estimated 6++ weeks only. She is giving us 2 more weeks ... but I am not optimistic. It's really important to have the heartbeat.

When I was pregnant with my son 5 years ago, we could detect the heartbeat loud and clear at 7 weeks. I don't know what happened, but am trying to come to terms with it. The fact that I am over 40 years doesn't help either, we have been trying for some time to have number 2 and almost gone for fertility treatments.

My family and friends are telling me things like "just relax" and "pray",etc. comments that aren't exactly helping. I can't blame them for not being empathetic enough since they haven't experienced it. I also have a sil and friend who are currently pregnant and having no problems so far. But reading about the posts by other women help as it makes me feeling less lonely.
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Hugs dear.. i feel yr pain here. Pray hard we will def succeed our next preg.
 


I’m married for 2 years, still on a baby making quest since my MC last year in Oct , at 5.5weeks. Could be a chemical pregnancy because scans did not show any clear sac but tested positive with faint line twice. Although it was a short lived pregnancy, it was a really emotional and dark experience to go through and I can’t empathise enough for those who MC during later part of their pregnancy.

Everyone told me that I’ll be preggo in no time after that but I personally think those remarks make me even more pressured to get pregnant! Plus none of my friends are facing this or not married so I feel like theres no whom I can talk to on the same level of understanding. Even my husband thinks I’m being paranoid and obsessed about this whole ttc thing. But I can’t help it, especially when everyone around u seem to pop babies and those who are married later than you are already with their new born and I’m still trying. Sometimes I even have dreams that I’m a mom and wake up feeling sad because I could never imagine myself being pregnant , it just feels so surreal.

Despite this, I’m taking every step to stay positive and hope to encourage each other here to stay strong! Just think of a few things to be grateful about every morning, enjoy “alone” time with hubby on weekends and having the freedom to do whatever we want for now. Hopefully we can share our good news here together or in other pregnancy threads
 
Hi. i was pregnant for 13 weeks and I just had evacuation surgery on 4 Apr as the baby has heart failure. i have a appointment with my gynae earlier this week. But very strangely i did not have any ultrasound done. May i know the post checkup, what is usual things to be checked?

On that day, i did tell my gynae that i am having mild cramps here and there. I am still bleeding till today but not alot as compare to my first week. But she say it could be blood clots so it is fine. Today i called the clinic again telling them the same symptoms that is still there. I also ask them "eh how come there is no scanning needed?" then the nurses told me that during the surgery, the gynae has done the scanning. May i know if this is normal that scanning is done during surgery, no need to scan anymore after the surgery?

Do i have to seek second opinion elsewhere? i don wish to have any complication or any surgery again. I already feeling super upset and traumatized by the whole thing.

hope to hear from you ladies. thanks very much
 
xxibii said:
Hi. i was pregnant for 13 weeks and I just had evacuation surgery on 4 Apr as the baby has heart failure. i have a appointment with my gynae earlier this week. But very strangely i did not have any ultrasound done. May i know the post checkup, what is usual things to be checked?

On that day, i did tell my gynae that i am having mild cramps here and there. I am still bleeding till today but not alot as compare to my first week. But she say it could be blood clots so it is fine. Today i called the clinic again telling them the same symptoms that is still there. I also ask them "eh how come there is no scanning needed?" then the nurses told me that during the surgery, the gynae has done the scanning. May i know if this is normal that scanning is done during surgery, no need to scan anymore after the surgery?

Do i have to seek second opinion elsewhere? i don wish to have any complication or any surgery again. I already feeling super upset and traumatized by the whole thing.

hope to hear from you ladies. thanks very much
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Hi I am very sorry for your loss. I think the scanning should be done after at least 1 menstrual cycle but not very soon after the surgery. This is so that the doctor can check if your uterus has healed well. But don't take my word for it. Do get 2nd opinion to be reassured. Not all doctors are as caring or professional or as detailed in their explanations. Some may simply go through the motions (from my experience these 2 weeks).

I am also going for my evacuation surgery tomorrow as the fetus has been confirmed to have stopped developing. Am still working through emotions here, and hoping for the best as well.

Stay strong!
 
vintageclasp said:
Hi I am very sorry for your loss. I think the scanning should be done after at least 1 menstrual cycle but not very soon after the surgery. This is so that the doctor can check if your uterus has healed well. But don't take my word for it. Do get 2nd opinion to be reassured. Not all doctors are as caring or professional or as detailed in their explanations. Some may simply go through the motions (from my experience these 2 weeks).

I am also going for my evacuation surgery tomorrow as the fetus has been confirmed to have stopped developing. Am still working through emotions here, and hoping for the best as well.

Stay strong!
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thanks so much for the reply! i went for second opinion today. there was still blood clots inside and the doc say lets wait for the first cycle of period to come first. if the period prolongs, i might have to go for second round of surgery. upon hearing this, my whole mind went blank. haix....

sorry to hear that... pls take care! and recover well!
 
xxibii said:
thanks so much for the reply! i went for second opinion today. there was still blood clots inside and the doc say lets wait for the first cycle of period to come first. if the period prolongs, i might have to go for second round of surgery. upon hearing this, my whole mind went blank. haix....

sorry to hear that... pls take care! and recover well!
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Hi xxibii,
Good that you went for a second opinion, and hope you don't have to go through another round of surgery!

Hi everyone,
I went for my surgery yesterday at Thomson. I was supposed to be 10-11 weeks already. Quite thankful that the nurses at the day surgery department and the operating theatre are quite caring and patient. Physically I am okay. I think most mothers are anxious to recover quickly so they can get pregnant again. I admire our determination.

However, the feelings of loss, disappointment, and sorrow, are still somewhere inside. These feelings aren't very easy to manage. Most of the time I have been functional. I can do housework, reply emails and texts, take care of my kid, read books, do things I like to make myself feel better, keep myself occupied, etc. But these dark feelings are lying in ambush for me once I pause. They pounce on me and drag me into a dark place.

Most women like us only receive one week's MC and they have to go back to work. I hope the government/employers will provide more resources for us, give us more time to heal both physically & emotionally, or access to affordable counselling services so we can learn how to come to terms with our loss. It's not our fault.

I am very glad that my husband has been generally supportive, and I have a few friends who have been empathetic. But some people (even relatives) who cannot really understand what having a miscarriage is like, either don't even dare to ask how I have been doing these 2 weeks (maybe waiting till the whole episode is "over"), or they act nonchalant around me (is pretending nothing had happened supposed to make me feel better?), or tell me things like "don't think too much", or "don't stress yourself".

Such comments only make me think that it's not appropriate to grieve, and that I have to hide my sadness. Really??
The worst kind of sorrow is the type that we have to keep inside our hearts, put on a calm demeanor, and walk around like zombies because we can't verbalise "negative feelings" or find someone we trust to share the burden with us.

I appreciate that among the numerous lively, boisterous threads filled with the happy buzz of newbie mothers and mothers-to-be, there is a quieter, sombre corner of the forum where mothers like us can still have an audience and share our stories with other people who can really understand what we are experiencing.

Please vent all you want.
 
vintageclasp said:
Hi I am very sorry for your loss. I think the scanning should be done after at least 1 menstrual cycle but not very soon after the surgery. This is so that the doctor can check if your uterus has healed well. But don't take my word for it. Do get 2nd opinion to be reassured. Not all doctors are as caring or professional or as detailed in their explanations. Some may simply go through the motions (from my experience these 2 weeks).

I am also going for my evacuation surgery tomorrow as the fetus has been confirmed to have stopped developing. Am still working through emotions here, and hoping for the best as well.

Stay strong!
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Hugs jiayou. Try to do a mini confinement
 
Hi all..
I terminated my dearest bb last wed due to multiple fetal abnormalities.. its very traumatizing and depressing.. but can i ask how long does our menses comes back? Really cant wait to start ttc for my rainbow bb.
Miss my girl so much....
 
jiaminnnnz said:
Hi all..
I terminated my dearest bb last wed due to multiple fetal abnormalities.. its very traumatizing and depressing.. but can i ask how long does our menses comes back? Really cant wait to start ttc for my rainbow bb.
Miss my girl so much....
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Sorry for the lost...take good care to nurse ur body back...Do u do any test to rule out the root cause? Usually 1 to 2 months depends on the person body but gynae will advise to wait for 3 months for body to back to adjust it back b4 ttc again...Jiayou k
 
Gynae said no point as its most probably due to chromesome issue..sigh.usually how long does lochia last?
Give a hope said:
Usually one month should be clear...But do let ur body to rest awhile b4 ttc again :)
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Icic... cant wait to finish lochia confinement etc.. hopefully i can get my rainbow bb soon :(
So disheartening now to find myself no longer preg anymore and this is my first girl..
 
jiaminnnnz said:
Gynae said no point as its most probably due to chromesome issue..sigh.usually how long does lochia last?


Icic... cant wait to finish lochia confinement etc.. hopefully i can get my rainbow bb soon :(
So disheartening now to find myself no longer preg anymore and this is my first girl..
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Sorry to ask u terminate it at which week?

Do do a mini confinement to nurse back the body..

I know the feeling it is painful. When I had 1st d&c I told my hub I wanna die 2nd d&c my mum w me so I feel better n went to c high risk gynae n rule out the root cause n had my girl but last year another d&c making me so down n pain...Fingers crossed my next pregnancy are under control w all the treatments n I will close factory really can't take it anymore mc...I will c dr next month to c my report fingers crossed under control den can start ttc...All the d&c under ga is nightmare for me...Sigh
 
Give a hope said:
Sorry to ask u terminate it at which week?

Do do a mini confinement to nurse back the body..

I know the feeling it is painful. When I had 1st d&c I told my hub I wanna die 2nd d&c my mum w me so I feel better n went to c high risk gynae n rule out the root cause n had my girl but last year another d&c making me so down n pain...Fingers crossed my next pregnancy are under control w all the treatments n I will close factory really can't take it anymore mc...I will c dr next month to c my report fingers crossed under control den can start ttc...All the d&c under ga is nightmare for me...Sigh
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Terminated at week 21. So i had to go thru the labour pain and d&c to clear out all the "dirty blood"
They said 1 mc = 3 child birth so must wait if wants to ttc.. but i honestly cant wait to ttc already.. the emptiness feeling really pains me
 
jiaminnnnz said:
Terminated at week 21. So i had to go thru the labour pain and d&c to clear out all the "dirty blood"
They said 1 mc = 3 child birth so must wait if wants to ttc.. but i honestly cant wait to ttc already.. the emptiness feeling really pains me
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Jiayou week 21 really not easy for u...

Omg den I like gice birth many times le sigh for recurrent loss already den one more mc...

Ya don't rush to ttc...I salute u cos I got phobia w all the incident n scare what if happens again n delay my ttc...
 
Give a hope said:
Jiayou week 21 really not easy for u...

Omg den I like gice birth many times le sigh for recurrent loss already den one more mc...

Ya don't rush to ttc...I salute u cos I got phobia w all the incident n scare what if happens again n delay my ttc...
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Week 21 is like halfway thru but my gynae say my girl probably wont last long or even if i gave birth to her, she wont make it too far...painful but i hope i lessen her pain..
Actually im afraid and had phobia esp if my next pregnancy to approach week 20.. yet i cant wait to get preg again.. i think if choy next one like that its fate ba.
 
jiaminnnnz said:
Week 21 is like halfway thru but my gynae say my girl probably wont last long or even if i gave birth to her, she wont make it too far...painful but i hope i lessen her pain..
Actually im afraid and had phobia esp if my next pregnancy to approach week 20.. yet i cant wait to get preg again.. i think if choy next one like that its fate ba.
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I had my D&C last week too. Have joined a Facebook support group for miscarriage. Talked to friends and other mothers who went through the same. Now am waiting for bleeding to clear up, nurse my health back, and go for IVF. I can't wait for my rainbow baby too. I don't want to have another miscarriage. All the disappointment, grief, guilt, etc....
Am currently reading up on IVF treatment because Singapore bans PGS screening which is the one needed to check chromosomal defects in embryos before implantation.

Stay strong, and remain hopeful. Our rainbow babies will come.
 
vintageclasp said:
I had my D&C last week too. Have joined a Facebook support group for miscarriage. Talked to friends and other mothers who went through the same. Now am waiting for bleeding to clear up, nurse my health back, and go for IVF. I can't wait for my rainbow baby too. I don't want to have another miscarriage. All the disappointment, grief, guilt, etc....
Am currently reading up on IVF treatment because Singapore bans PGS screening which is the one needed to check chromosomal defects in embryos before implantation.

Stay strong, and remain hopeful. Our rainbow babies will come.
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Can i ask which facebook group are you referring? Would like to join the group as well.
Same here, waiting bleeding to clear up and try for my rainbow bb.

Hope our rainbow bb will come to us soon
 
jiaminnnnz said:
Week 21 is like halfway thru but my gynae say my girl probably wont last long or even if i gave birth to her, she wont make it too far...painful but i hope i lessen her pain..
Actually im afraid and had phobia esp if my next pregnancy to approach week 20.. yet i cant wait to get preg again.. i think if choy next one like that its fate ba.
Click to expand...
Ya I can only think of fated...I will said that due to recurrent loss that's y been pull bk for one year already...Fingers crossed our next pregnancy r under control n give birth full month to our healthy rainbow babies
 
Wafflesme, can take red date longan tea as well. Wear slippers at home and socks when you go to bed to keep body warm. Bathe in the day and swiftly to avoid catching cold. Take care!
 
wafflesme said:
haiz. Thanks ladies!!

Are we allowed to wash hair with herbal? Bathe 2 times daily ok mah?
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I washed my hair and bathe as per normal. Just dry yourself thoroughly and don’t blow fan directly. In fact, I didn’t do herbal bath.

You can add ginger to the longan red date tea. If you are ordering confinement food, it may come with the meals.
 
Hi everyone!
Found this thread while goggling online..
Had a bfp after my 2nd ivf cycle.. was so happy. But was a short lived happiness. No embryo found on scan. Only a sac and yolk sac. Was so devastated. Such a physically and emotionally painful process.
Not sure when to start ivf again. Will it be easier to get bfp again?
Any similar experiences?
TIA..
 
rest well for now as well as seeking advice from your ivf doctor, perhaps need to wait a few menstrual cycles.

I am supposed to hv ivf in May but short lived natural pregnancy kicked in unexpectedly. I think i will not be doing ivf soon. Physical and emotional is something I cant handle for ivf.

Am keen to try naturally after 2-3 months later.
 
Anyone been to the recurrent loss clinic at nuh.
Some questions:
For first appointment, do i need to bring my blood test reports?
Does hubby needs to be there for first appointment as well?
 
solitairebride said:
Anyone been to the recurrent loss clinic at nuh.
Some questions:
For first appointment, do i need to bring my blood test reports?
Does hubby needs to be there for first appointment as well?
Click to expand...

I went but didn’t bring any report as most of my tests were done in nuh so I Guess they can access if needed.

My hubby didn’t go with me

Are u under subsidised or pte for this recurrent loss clinic?
 
i would think pte.
i only did some blood test for my recent ivf. for hubby they only ordered normal sperm analysis.
Other blood tests are from kkh/thomson.

did they order alot of tests on first appointment.
 
solitairebride said:
i would think pte.
i only did some blood test for my recent ivf. for hubby they only ordered normal sperm analysis.
Other blood tests are from kkh/thomson.

did they order alot of tests on first appointment.
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I went with an idea of what I want to test for.. hence the doctor ordered all the tests

Just FYI, if pte rate, the comprehensive blood tests and all will cost at least 1.5-2k

They probably will also order a more comprehensive sperm analysis for your hubby
 
Last edited:
jiaminnnnz said:
Hi all..
I terminated my dearest bb last wed due to multiple fetal abnormalities.. its very traumatizing and depressing.. but can i ask how long does our menses comes back? Really cant wait to start ttc for my rainbow bb.
Miss my girl so much....
Click to expand...
Hugs. Hope u feeling better now.
 
Had 2 mc, did 1 d&c, 1 induce mc via pills. Lets jiayou together, Our rainbow baby will come soon.
Btw just did 2 blood test for recurrent miscarriage, Lupus and anticardiolipin. Waiting for blood test result.
 
jiaminnnnz said:
Hi all..
I terminated my dearest bb last wed due to multiple fetal abnormalities.. its very traumatizing and depressing.. but can i ask how long does our menses comes back? Really cant wait to start ttc for my rainbow bb.
Miss my girl so much....
Click to expand...

Hope u are better, I also waiting for my rainbow after 2 termination.
 
Hello all,

I would like to share about my experience which happened today. I had a natural miscarriage.
This is my account of what happened.

On 12/5, I started to have brown discharge, spotting only. However, it got heavier and so I decided to visit my gynaecologist earlier as I already scheduled an appointment later this month. On 15/5, I visited my gynaecologist in the morning and did a transvaginal scan. The scan showed my gestational sac at 5 weeks but it was empty. My gynae said probably I was still very early in my pregnancy, so couldn't see anything yet. I was also given duphaston to take and for the first intake, I had to take 4 pills.

I thought everything would get better. But I started to bleed even more. By evening time, I started to bleed red blood. =(
This morning, I experienced bad cramp and I decided to rush back to my gynaecologist office again. I took 1 pill in the morning as well. After doing a tummy scan, gynae couldn't find the sac anymore. "It's gone", she said. She told me that since my pregnancy was in the very early stage, it would be better for me to go through a natural miscarriage than having to do D & C.

So yea..

I really never expect it will be so fast. I went to a mall for lunch, by the time I stepped out from my car and walked to the escalator, I felt it. I felt the sac flowing out. I rushed to the toilet and it was there, on my pad. Everything happened next....... Its all so devastating.

I wanted this baby. But I couldn't have anymore..

And I have 2 questions. =(
1. Is it because I took the hormone pills, and it escalated the miscarriage?
2. Should I have taken the pill right from the start when I found out about my pregnancy?

Thank you for reading. I am still grieving for my loss. But I know I will get better.
 
oceantear said:
Hello all,

I would like to share about my experience which happened today. I had a natural miscarriage.
This is my account of what happened.

On 12/5, I started to have brown discharge, spotting only. However, it got heavier and so I decided to visit my gynaecologist earlier as I already scheduled an appointment later this month. On 15/5, I visited my gynaecologist in the morning and did a transvaginal scan. The scan showed my gestational sac at 5 weeks but it was empty. My gynae said probably I was still very early in my pregnancy, so couldn't see anything yet. I was also given duphaston to take and for the first intake, I had to take 4 pills.

I thought everything would get better. But I started to bleed even more. By evening time, I started to bleed red blood. =(
This morning, I experienced bad cramp and I decided to rush back to my gynaecologist office again. I took 1 pill in the morning as well. After doing a tummy scan, gynae couldn't find the sac anymore. "It's gone", she said. She told me that since my pregnancy was in the very early stage, it would be better for me to go through a natural miscarriage than having to do D & C.

So yea..

I really never expect it will be so fast. I went to a mall for lunch, by the time I stepped out from my car and walked to the escalator, I felt it. I felt the sac flowing out. I rushed to the toilet and it was there, on my pad. Everything happened next....... Its all so devastating.

I wanted this baby. But I couldn't have anymore..

And I have 2 questions. =(
1. Is it because I took the hormone pills, and it escalated the miscarriage?
2. Should I have taken the pill right from the start when I found out about my pregnancy?

Thank you for reading. I am still grieving for my loss. But I know I will get better.
Click to expand...

Hi, to answer your question:

1. Duphaston is a pregnancy support meds, it does not cause miscarriage. But to add on, if miscarriage is meant to happen, it won’t prevent a miscarriage as well.

2. If your pregnancy was conceived naturally ie not via IUI/ IVF, there’s no need for any support meds.

Rest well and all the best!
 
Has anyone take duphaston to induce menses after miscarriage? How many days later will the menses come after stopping duphaston? How long is the bleeding? And hows the flow like?
 
jiaminnnnz said:
:( cant wait for my rainbow to come to me.
Sorry for your 2 termination, hope you are coping well. How long has it been for you?
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One at 2015 one at 2017. I wish I m coping well but I still feel emotional when think about it. N my body also seems not recovering well make me more worried.
 


Hi,

I recently had a miscarriage and would like to share and hopefully get some comfort.
It was my first pregnancy and was really thrill when I found out.
Everything happened too quickly from finding out that I'm pregnant and the devastating news.

I had a miscarriage on 12th Apr and was 6 weeks. During my first scan, the gynae only manage to see the Sac and concluded that I was still early in my pregnancy and requested me to come back 2 weeks later. However one week after the scan, I found light spotting and eventually lead up to the miscarriage.

Even though everything happened so fast, I can't help but blame myself for what happened. I know it is not because of what I ate or did, I just feel the guilt. To make things worse, my best friend and close friends around me are all pregnant around the same time I was. I'm envious of my friends who can announce their pregnancy while I hide myself under the blanket and cry it out.

Seriously I would really want to get pregnant again but the fear is constant. Alot of 'what if' keeps appearing. To make things worse, I recently lost a close relatives. I was just crying over what happened to me and now have to grieve over the loss of the close relatives.

Really hope I can see a light of hope or some good events to happen rather than all the bad news. Trying really hard to be optimistic.
 
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