Yup, glad that I'm able to talk out the feelings here ... m/c is a very lonely journey...
The husband doesn't feel deeply about the m/c. I guess he never saw it and didn't carry it so he doesn't feel it. Yup he is playing video games right now.
The friends either don't really understand coz they never experienced m/c before, or worse still are very insensitive
Cannot talk about it at work obviously
The mother is crazy and suggested that I try again immediately. Told her that I'm not a baby making machine and that shut her up.
The in-laws are unaware since I never told them. Come to think of it, good thing I never told them
The IVF doctor sees m/c as a statistical occurrence, and technical issue about the embryo health which causes the woman's body to purge it.
So what do I do?
Wake up, get up, put on make up, go to work and pretend nothing happened. Manage to behave normally at work. On the way back, can't help but see pregnant women, children, feel sad. Come back home, cry a bit, wash face. Surf motherhood /pregnancy/m/c websites. Cry a bit, mop up tears. Go to sleep. Wake up and repeat.
I know that someday the tears will lessen and may completely stop. But today is not the day.
Until then, got to stay strong and carry on with life. There is no alternative. We must carry on fighting.