Support Group - Mid Term Termination Of Pregnancy
- Thread starter tarynn
- Start date
MkJy
Member
Anyway did kkh give you appointment for follow up? They told me they will give me appointment but till now no news from them yet
ApplePieTing
New Member
they did, at clinic C like 3 weeks after. Perhaps you can call them or login and check?
MkJy
Member
They did told me they gonna give me appointment 3 weeks later, but I login to health hub still nothing yet. Maybe by next week still don't have I gonna call and check.
hi all, my baby was diagnosed with t21 n we r terminating the pregnancy this coming wed.. my heart is so full of pain each and every day n i feel so guilty as a mum.. my 1st born has been telling me that she wants her didi so much that i feel so so sorry...
i am so afraid of going through the procedure of 'delivering' the baby out.. any advice?
i am so afraid of going through the procedure of 'delivering' the baby out.. any advice?
Twinkledust
Member
Hello all
i just joined the forum.
about 3 weeks ago, i terminated my first baby at mid term due to trisomy21 via d&c. The baby was conceived naturally. It was like a dream come true until the nightmare came.
My whole world came clashing down following the phone call and the next few days.
It was the hardest and most painful decision i have to make. Been crying non stop for almost 2 weeks.
I wasnt considered high risk because of my age but i opt to to NIPT because i wanted to have a peace of mind since oscar tests gives many false positives. But we are really glad we done the NIPT rather than finding out at a much later week of the pregnancy.
During my week 12 scan, my baby’s adjusted risk for DS was 1:8 with NT of 5.3mm which is really high. This came as shocking to my doctor too.
Doctor says it is a random error of chromosomes. There was nothing we could have done to change it. It was pure bad luck and the chances of recurrent is really low. Guess 2020 is just a crazy year. Never will i have imagined everything that will happen, happened in 2020.
Did a mini confinement of 2 weeks, had confinement food, herbal bath and miscarriage massages. Now seeing TCM to hopefully get my body back in shape for next pregnancy. The importance of proper confinement is very crucial esp since we are further along the pregnancy.
I just wanted to say, for those that is going thru the same. Dont give up hopes and dont put the blame on you. U have done your best. Focus on recovery and u will have your rainbow baby soon.
i just joined the forum.
about 3 weeks ago, i terminated my first baby at mid term due to trisomy21 via d&c. The baby was conceived naturally. It was like a dream come true until the nightmare came.
My whole world came clashing down following the phone call and the next few days.
It was the hardest and most painful decision i have to make. Been crying non stop for almost 2 weeks.
I wasnt considered high risk because of my age but i opt to to NIPT because i wanted to have a peace of mind since oscar tests gives many false positives. But we are really glad we done the NIPT rather than finding out at a much later week of the pregnancy.
During my week 12 scan, my baby’s adjusted risk for DS was 1:8 with NT of 5.3mm which is really high. This came as shocking to my doctor too.
Doctor says it is a random error of chromosomes. There was nothing we could have done to change it. It was pure bad luck and the chances of recurrent is really low. Guess 2020 is just a crazy year. Never will i have imagined everything that will happen, happened in 2020.
Did a mini confinement of 2 weeks, had confinement food, herbal bath and miscarriage massages. Now seeing TCM to hopefully get my body back in shape for next pregnancy. The importance of proper confinement is very crucial esp since we are further along the pregnancy.
I just wanted to say, for those that is going thru the same. Dont give up hopes and dont put the blame on you. U have done your best. Focus on recovery and u will have your rainbow baby soon.
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1 termination and 1 miscarriage, here I am hugging my darling boy who is turning 16 weeks this Sunday. Do not give up ladies.. our journey is just longer and challenging than others, but doesn’t mean we can’t achieve what we want.
itsmelissa
New Member
I've also had the harrowing experience of having to end my pregnancy a couple years ago (the baby had a neural defect), and it was a really tough decision to make since me and my hubby really wanted a baby then. We were referred to Dr Jen Shek Wei for the procedure, and I was asleep the whole time. The procedure went well though it still took a lot of time for me to recover emotionally. It was a very very tough decision, but looking back it was the right thing to do.
Hi all, it’s been a week since my mtmp... it was my first pregnancy and we found out at the week 20 structural scan that he had a fatal abnormality - his bones were not developing so he had short limbs and a small rib cage so his lungs could not develop and he wouldn’t be able to breathe.
I was with Dr Paul Tseng and he advised that he did not do terminations so we were referred to dr Pamela Tan. The whole day was a blur for us, we were so excited to see our baby boy during the scan but instead were given the news.
We checked into TMC a day later, and they started me on cytotec at 930am. One full cycle later, I still didn’t dilate enough to go into labour so they told me to sleep and we would restart the process at 8am. The next day, after the 2nd pill at 11am, I finally started feeling the pain at about 12.30pm. I never felt this amount of pain in my life and my threshold is so low. It escalated so quickly that I didn’t even have enough time to ask for the painkiller injection. At 12.50pm, my boy came out and I was given time to rest before the evacuation.
I’m still crying everytime I think about my angel, and I’m terrified that there is something wrong with me or my husbands genes, but I really want to have kids and I can’t stop thinking about what could have been... I tried to google the % of normal vs abnormal pregnancies, but it didn’t console me since the number is so high. I’m turning 31 next month so I’m not getting any younger too so I don’t know how long I can wait before trying
I was with Dr Paul Tseng and he advised that he did not do terminations so we were referred to dr Pamela Tan. The whole day was a blur for us, we were so excited to see our baby boy during the scan but instead were given the news.
We checked into TMC a day later, and they started me on cytotec at 930am. One full cycle later, I still didn’t dilate enough to go into labour so they told me to sleep and we would restart the process at 8am. The next day, after the 2nd pill at 11am, I finally started feeling the pain at about 12.30pm. I never felt this amount of pain in my life and my threshold is so low. It escalated so quickly that I didn’t even have enough time to ask for the painkiller injection. At 12.50pm, my boy came out and I was given time to rest before the evacuation.
I’m still crying everytime I think about my angel, and I’m terrified that there is something wrong with me or my husbands genes, but I really want to have kids and I can’t stop thinking about what could have been... I tried to google the % of normal vs abnormal pregnancies, but it didn’t console me since the number is so high. I’m turning 31 next month so I’m not getting any younger too so I don’t know how long I can wait before trying
Silverfish88
New Member
Hi all, I wanted to thank all the mummies for sharing your stories as it has helped me prepare mentally for my MTMP. I just wanted to share my story so that it can help someone else though I wish no one has to go through this at all.
We found out that baby has some heart defect at week 13 and we went through many scans and tests before we make this painful decision at week 21 to let him go. We waited so long because the heart is only fully formed around week 20 to confirm the diagnosis. The whole experience is very traumatic for us and we have cried so much for weeks till there were no more tears left. My heart is still aching with a lot of pain.
I did the termination (hate this word) at KKH. On Day 1, they did the injection to stop the baby‘s heartbeat. This is by far the worst thing that a mother has to go through - letting someone hurt your baby. I cried so hysterically at the clinic and that people were all staring at me. I don’t get the privacy to cry over my loss. my husband was not allowed to be with me during this procedure but I am glad he didn’t cos it was too painful to be present.
after which, they gave me a pill to stop the pregnancy hormones and they inserted the induction pills 24 hours later. I started to experience period cramps for 4 hours before they insert the 2nd pill. The pain quickly escalated to labor pain and I requested for painkiller. They gave me oral painkiller and it is obviously not enough. I requested for the thigh injection but it came too late. By the time they came with the injection, my water broke and baby came out. I also didn’t expect that I have to deliver my own baby without anyone present. I thought a doctor or a midwife would be present.
The nurse would ask you if you would like to see the baby and I didn’t have the courage to see. I also almost fainted during the process and took awhile to recover. My hubby did all the funeral process. We sent our baby off in Mandai and followed by sea burial. I did a 3 weeks confinement - ordered confinement food from chilli padi confinement meals and did 4 sessions of post natal massage too.
I am still grieving and I think about my baby boy every moment. Hope time will heal all pain.
We found out that baby has some heart defect at week 13 and we went through many scans and tests before we make this painful decision at week 21 to let him go. We waited so long because the heart is only fully formed around week 20 to confirm the diagnosis. The whole experience is very traumatic for us and we have cried so much for weeks till there were no more tears left. My heart is still aching with a lot of pain.
I did the termination (hate this word) at KKH. On Day 1, they did the injection to stop the baby‘s heartbeat. This is by far the worst thing that a mother has to go through - letting someone hurt your baby. I cried so hysterically at the clinic and that people were all staring at me. I don’t get the privacy to cry over my loss. my husband was not allowed to be with me during this procedure but I am glad he didn’t cos it was too painful to be present.
after which, they gave me a pill to stop the pregnancy hormones and they inserted the induction pills 24 hours later. I started to experience period cramps for 4 hours before they insert the 2nd pill. The pain quickly escalated to labor pain and I requested for painkiller. They gave me oral painkiller and it is obviously not enough. I requested for the thigh injection but it came too late. By the time they came with the injection, my water broke and baby came out. I also didn’t expect that I have to deliver my own baby without anyone present. I thought a doctor or a midwife would be present.
The nurse would ask you if you would like to see the baby and I didn’t have the courage to see. I also almost fainted during the process and took awhile to recover. My hubby did all the funeral process. We sent our baby off in Mandai and followed by sea burial. I did a 3 weeks confinement - ordered confinement food from chilli padi confinement meals and did 4 sessions of post natal massage too.
I am still grieving and I think about my baby boy every moment. Hope time will heal all pain.
Hi everyone, it's been a while since my mtmp. We are thinking about TTC again but just wanted to ask everyone if you went back to the same doctor if you conceived again? My husband and I feel like there's a tinge of uncertainty with going back to our doctor because if there was only 10% more concern with our usual ultrasounds, maybe he would have seen the abnormality in a scan and we would not have carried my baby for a longer time without knowing. Also if you have any advice for what sort of things you are looking for in a future doctor, please let me know.
Hi ftmc,
I did not go back to my original gynae, and instead went to another gynae due to a few reasons :
(1) we moved house, hence it was more convenient to find another gynae near our new place
(2) waiting time for original gynae is too long
(3) most important of all, the original gynae brings back sad memories of the miscarriage, and we wanted to change gynae for "better luck" and to "refresh" our experience.
rainbowdreams
Member
Hi everyone. My bb has unfortunately been diagnosed with DS and I will be going in for termination this sat at 15w. I feel like Im going crazy with the emotions going on. If not for my older kids, I think I wont be able to function at all. It has been such a traumatic and heartbreaking journey to our last kid. I had a miscarriage last sep too. Anyone who has gone through similar experience and would like to connect to provide support, pm me k? I will set up a whatsapp group. Thanks!
westzephyr
New Member
*UPDATED AND EDITED POST*
Dear all, I have derived much comfort from reading this forum, knowing that I am not alone in this immense sorrow in terminating a very much wanted pregnancy. I have also had private messages from kind strangers who could relate to my grief and have provided comfort. I thought I would try to describe my entire experience here in the hopes that it would help others going through this, like others have helped me during this challenging period.
I met my husband late in life, and married in early 2020. I was 39 and he was 36. We knew that our chances of having our own healthy children by natural conception were not very high, given my age. Nevertheless we tried for one year before finally opting for IVF. My IVF doctor was wonderful. I did everything I could to maximise my chances of success via IVF conception, although everyone warned us that the chance would be low. Imagine our great happiness when the first IVF cycle succeeded, and I became pregnant after transfer with a high-grade embryo. I was over the moon with joy, and I will never forget my first sight of that gloriously beating heart.
The nightmare started with the 12th week scan. The nuchal translucency (NT) was thick at 4.3mm. Still, my husband and I comforted ourselves by hoping that the odds will be in our favour, because as many as 70% of those with thick NT turned out to be normal babies. The Panorama NIPT (which I signed up for at the same time as the NT scan) results were normal, which increased our hopes, as all trisomies were virtually ruled out. The NIPT also revealed our child to be a girl. I went for the recommended CVS, hoping for the best.
The CMA ( Microarray) results came back with a de novo microdeletion in Chromosome 12p. My world came crashing down that day. One thing I learnt during this period is that worried parents make the best researchers. In a time of social media and digital information ( as well as both my husband and I being researchers), I have read over 50+ papers on Chromosome 12 and the implications of microdeletions. We harboured hopes that maybe it just meant she would have a structural defect that can be fixed upon birth and we could live with that. However, termination for us is an option if it means poor quality of life for my child.
When I met the geneticist at KKH ( who is brilliant), she recommended that we go for whole exome sequencing (WES) which would further delineate any mutations not seen on the microarray. The reason was because the microdeletion of that chromosome was rare, and associated conditions appeared to be adult-onset in nature which would not explain the thick NT. I hesitated because the WES costs a whopping SGD8000 with an outcome that may not reveal much, but I trusted her and went for it because it may make a whole world of difference to my baby.
The WES results pointed to a mutation elsewhere indicating a rare autosomal dominant syndrome which meant my child will face a life of global developmental delay, weak muscles, potential heart issues, potential visual/hearing impairment, seizures, language and speech problems, and will definitely not be able to live independently. She would have feeding issues from birth and will have to be under Special care, with likely tube-feeding for a long time. And most of these disabilities would need lifetime support even if my child survived to term. My husband and I had an agonizing decision to make, and not too long after ( because I was already in my 19th week of gestation), we finally opted for termination.
I was referred to Dr. Kenneth Wong HK (as not many doctors would do termination) and he has been completely kind all the way. I appreciated his clear explanation of the process and the evidence behind it. Essentially I watched a compulsory pre-termination video, and was given 48 hours to reconsider our decision. I was also given medicine to take at midnight afterwards. Then about 10 hours later, I attended his clinic where he placed a laminaria stent to help with cervical dilatation and also inserted a pill to help facilitate the process. I had minimal pain during this procedure. He then allowed me to return home but I would need to admit myself to Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Orchard for the next phase in the process. At the hospital, you must choose a single room if you want to have your husband with you. Dr. Wong strongly recommended that I not be alone in this crucial next phase. I am thankful for this advice, because MTPT is too emotionally traumatic for anyone to go through without support.
I was already in increasing abdominal pain by the time I was admitted. I took one tablet of panadeine, but although the pain marginally lessened, I developed nausea. My husband was a total rock of support throughout. Shortly after, Dr. Wong came and explained the process to me again. He removed the laminaria stent and inserted the first dose of Cytotec pills. I was to receive an additional four doses of the medicine inserted every 4 hours. It turned out that I did not even need the second dose. I was curled up in bed suffering escalating abdominal pain for 3 hours after he visited me (refusing analgesia because I could not tolerate both nausea and pain); in the end, my waterbag broke explosively and the pain immediately went away. Subsequently, less than 2 hours later, I delivered my child and then the placenta. The pain with each delivery afterwards was less and less. I would not see my baby - for fear what the sight would do to me - but my husband did. The nurses have been very warm and kind - they wrapped my child up with great gentleness and respect and also treated the placenta the same way.
The next morning, I went for evacuation of any remaining debris in my uterus, as the number one priority is to preserve my womb by preventing infection/ continual bleeding. I was discharged shortly afterwards and returned home by early afternoon. We went to the temple to pray for my lost child. Those days pregnant with her were amongst the happiest in my life, despite all the worry towards the end, and which many couples have not experienced. No matter what, we will always be a family of three.
The grief and tears came afterwards in torrents. I miss my child so much, even though I have never met her; I have lost someone I had cherished and protected, in order to protect her from what was to come. I rub my stomach, and realize that she is not there anymore. The tears seemed like they would never end. I am grateful for my husband and family for being nothing but supportive.
I salute all who have made this difficult decision. There are no words to describe the emotional pain and grief of this.
A big thank you to the women of this thread who have dared and cared enough to share their stories, because they have brought me great comfort amidst these days of great pain.
Dear all, I have derived much comfort from reading this forum, knowing that I am not alone in this immense sorrow in terminating a very much wanted pregnancy. I have also had private messages from kind strangers who could relate to my grief and have provided comfort. I thought I would try to describe my entire experience here in the hopes that it would help others going through this, like others have helped me during this challenging period.
I met my husband late in life, and married in early 2020. I was 39 and he was 36. We knew that our chances of having our own healthy children by natural conception were not very high, given my age. Nevertheless we tried for one year before finally opting for IVF. My IVF doctor was wonderful. I did everything I could to maximise my chances of success via IVF conception, although everyone warned us that the chance would be low. Imagine our great happiness when the first IVF cycle succeeded, and I became pregnant after transfer with a high-grade embryo. I was over the moon with joy, and I will never forget my first sight of that gloriously beating heart.
The nightmare started with the 12th week scan. The nuchal translucency (NT) was thick at 4.3mm. Still, my husband and I comforted ourselves by hoping that the odds will be in our favour, because as many as 70% of those with thick NT turned out to be normal babies. The Panorama NIPT (which I signed up for at the same time as the NT scan) results were normal, which increased our hopes, as all trisomies were virtually ruled out. The NIPT also revealed our child to be a girl. I went for the recommended CVS, hoping for the best.
The CMA ( Microarray) results came back with a de novo microdeletion in Chromosome 12p. My world came crashing down that day. One thing I learnt during this period is that worried parents make the best researchers. In a time of social media and digital information ( as well as both my husband and I being researchers), I have read over 50+ papers on Chromosome 12 and the implications of microdeletions. We harboured hopes that maybe it just meant she would have a structural defect that can be fixed upon birth and we could live with that. However, termination for us is an option if it means poor quality of life for my child.
When I met the geneticist at KKH ( who is brilliant), she recommended that we go for whole exome sequencing (WES) which would further delineate any mutations not seen on the microarray. The reason was because the microdeletion of that chromosome was rare, and associated conditions appeared to be adult-onset in nature which would not explain the thick NT. I hesitated because the WES costs a whopping SGD8000 with an outcome that may not reveal much, but I trusted her and went for it because it may make a whole world of difference to my baby.
The WES results pointed to a mutation elsewhere indicating a rare autosomal dominant syndrome which meant my child will face a life of global developmental delay, weak muscles, potential heart issues, potential visual/hearing impairment, seizures, language and speech problems, and will definitely not be able to live independently. She would have feeding issues from birth and will have to be under Special care, with likely tube-feeding for a long time. And most of these disabilities would need lifetime support even if my child survived to term. My husband and I had an agonizing decision to make, and not too long after ( because I was already in my 19th week of gestation), we finally opted for termination.
I was referred to Dr. Kenneth Wong HK (as not many doctors would do termination) and he has been completely kind all the way. I appreciated his clear explanation of the process and the evidence behind it. Essentially I watched a compulsory pre-termination video, and was given 48 hours to reconsider our decision. I was also given medicine to take at midnight afterwards. Then about 10 hours later, I attended his clinic where he placed a laminaria stent to help with cervical dilatation and also inserted a pill to help facilitate the process. I had minimal pain during this procedure. He then allowed me to return home but I would need to admit myself to Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Orchard for the next phase in the process. At the hospital, you must choose a single room if you want to have your husband with you. Dr. Wong strongly recommended that I not be alone in this crucial next phase. I am thankful for this advice, because MTPT is too emotionally traumatic for anyone to go through without support.
I was already in increasing abdominal pain by the time I was admitted. I took one tablet of panadeine, but although the pain marginally lessened, I developed nausea. My husband was a total rock of support throughout. Shortly after, Dr. Wong came and explained the process to me again. He removed the laminaria stent and inserted the first dose of Cytotec pills. I was to receive an additional four doses of the medicine inserted every 4 hours. It turned out that I did not even need the second dose. I was curled up in bed suffering escalating abdominal pain for 3 hours after he visited me (refusing analgesia because I could not tolerate both nausea and pain); in the end, my waterbag broke explosively and the pain immediately went away. Subsequently, less than 2 hours later, I delivered my child and then the placenta. The pain with each delivery afterwards was less and less. I would not see my baby - for fear what the sight would do to me - but my husband did. The nurses have been very warm and kind - they wrapped my child up with great gentleness and respect and also treated the placenta the same way.
The next morning, I went for evacuation of any remaining debris in my uterus, as the number one priority is to preserve my womb by preventing infection/ continual bleeding. I was discharged shortly afterwards and returned home by early afternoon. We went to the temple to pray for my lost child. Those days pregnant with her were amongst the happiest in my life, despite all the worry towards the end, and which many couples have not experienced. No matter what, we will always be a family of three.
The grief and tears came afterwards in torrents. I miss my child so much, even though I have never met her; I have lost someone I had cherished and protected, in order to protect her from what was to come. I rub my stomach, and realize that she is not there anymore. The tears seemed like they would never end. I am grateful for my husband and family for being nothing but supportive.
I salute all who have made this difficult decision. There are no words to describe the emotional pain and grief of this.
A big thank you to the women of this thread who have dared and cared enough to share their stories, because they have brought me great comfort amidst these days of great pain.
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lady081980
Active Member
Just walk in to A&E, choose C class ward, u will be consider as subsidised patient. doc on duty will do the termination
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Hi, hoping to create a support group. This is by far the hardest and most painful thing that someone might ever have to go through. For us, everything was ok...all the scans (nasal bone, NT fluid), we did not suspect that something like this would happen. We did the NIPT test and it showed high risk for DS (T21) and a week later we did the amnio test. We are waiting for the amnio results but we don't have much hope. It has been a week of agony. I've cried so much, it is also my first pregnancy and I'm 40 (fell pregnant naturally). I'm at 15wks/4d. And here we are waiting for that phone call...mentally I'm exhausted. I'm also scared of the procedure. Was hoping we could form a group and support each other to 'overcome' this? I don't know if the pain will ever go away. But I'm also scared of getting pregnant, in case the same thing happens.
rainbowdreams
Member
Hi, sending u lots of love and hugs. Its really a very tough period. I rem crying every single day after I had high risk for nipt for t21. I did cvs and needed to wait 3d. After confirmed results, the waiting to terminate was another heart wrenching period. I'm 40 this year too. Pm me if you want to chat. I felt so alone that period too cos don't know who to talk to. It isn't something you chat casually with people and I feel people who nvr went through it will never understand.
Hi do u wan to chat can pm me? Hope u don worry too much now cos amnio result not out yet also. Nipt also has false positive too so I hope you belong to this group.
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Totally agree with you. It was the darkest period of my life and nobody around me I can talk to to find out more too.
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I’ve been through a termination and a miscarriage. Both times my babies were having genetic abnormalities, not chromosomal. Been through amnio, cma and finally dna tests. The journey is very painful but have strong faith. I have a healthy boy 2 years ago and welcoming my baby girl soon. I’m 40 this year . I got to know many fighters mummies here during the period . I was given a lot of strengths and support to walk out of the darkness and the same will apply to you and everyone here. The journey is long and challenging but we will eventually reach it. Take good care of your health now, it’s ok to cry. Don’t self blame and if needed just pm us.
Thank you, much appreciated.
Sorry to hear that hope you be strong ok. How many weeks are you now? I did mine recently at TMC. For my case doc say need to go though induced miscarriage and thereafter D&E. It is painful for me please ask for strong painkillers first. I did a 14 day confinement too to nurse back my body. U can pm me to find out more.
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rainbowdreams
Member
So sorry to hear about this. Hugs hugs. It wasn't painful cos under anesthesia and the procedure was very fast but I was super traumatised cos I was given cytotec to take the night before termination and although I was told might experience bleeding and cramps, I was not prepared for the massive bleeding I experienced at home. Even my hb was traumatised by it. Yes do a mini confinement if u can. I did 14d too.
Hello everyone. I chance upon this thread and is desperately looking for help. I'm in the midst of my 19week induced abortion now. My baby was confirmed to have a chromosome 16 deletion aka KBG syndrome.
I am in so much pain right now. This is my 5th dose already and it doesn't seem to have much things happening. Pls advise me. I'm really really scared right now.
I am in so much pain right now. This is my 5th dose already and it doesn't seem to have much things happening. Pls advise me. I'm really really scared right now.
rainbowdreams
Member
Hi, I'm so so sorry you are going through all these
I was given oral med (4 tabs of cytotec) to induce the night before and then I went in for surgical termination so I didn't go through labour though my waterway burst at home and experienced massive bleeding at home. Is surgical termination an option for you?Hello, I managed to pass out the baby after 18 gruelling hours. This was my first born and I am so terrified. My husband and I are perfectly healthy. Even the doctors are confused why this happened. Probably I got covid and took alot of medicine during my first week being pregnant
I'm so relieved the nightmare is finally over but I feel so guilty towards my bby. Have I done anything wrong? I don't think I can ever get over this
I'm so relieved the nightmare is finally over but I feel so guilty towards my bby. Have I done anything wrong? I don't think I can ever get over this
Hi, it has a been a week since I had my termination and it still feels very raw. I'm so emotional about it, it was my first pregnancy too and I don't think I've cried that much in my entire adult life compared to these past few weeks. I hope one day, I'll have my rainbow baby. Until then...I'm here to talk to and sending you a big hug. I'm so grateful for this group. I'm dreading going back to work, but I guess at some point I'll have to pull myself together.
Hi in the end, I had to do a surgical termination and that was much 'better'. My water broke at 4am but the baby didn't want to come out. Then they told me that I might need to do another course of the tablets which would have been a nightmare.Hi, I'm so so sorry you are going through all these
FFT
Active Member
Hi, i have just decided to go for termination. My harmony blood test and scan results r v bad. Have decided not to go for amniocentesis as my case is super high risk (single digit ratio for all 3 trisomy and my cell count is insufficient to give a conclusive result prob due to chromosomal issue).
I have a few qns that i hope to seek help here:
(A) How many days down time is expected? I
(B) How do you tell ur colleagues/boss about ur absence?
I am not too keen to reveal too much personal details so i am really struggling on both qns above. Thinking if i can just take 2 days mc (plus a long wkend) and appear in office without anyone suspicious.
I have a few qns that i hope to seek help here:
(A) How many days down time is expected? I
(B) How do you tell ur colleagues/boss about ur absence?
I am not too keen to reveal too much personal details so i am really struggling on both qns above. Thinking if i can just take 2 days mc (plus a long wkend) and appear in office without anyone suspicious.
Hi I rested for 2 weeks on HL. Basically is to recover physically to let my body heal. Only went back to work after my review with doctor was cleared. It’s abit difficult not to let anyone in office knows since they already know I’m pregnant then but luckily my office is small so that’s alright with me.
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Hi all, I am 40yo and have just went through a MTPT 2 days ago at 19 weeks gestation (my first pregnancy) and would like to share my experience in case you find yourself here looking for answers.
During my 14 weeks routine scan, my dear baby girl was seen with a hyperextended neck. My gynae (Gleneagles) explained that babies are flexible and it can sometimes happen although unusual. I went back for a subsequent scan during my 15week and she was still in the same position. My gynae asked me not to worry and she will probably grow out of it over time.
By the 18 week, I went back for another routine scan and her position looks really off and I started getting really concerned and I ask for a more detailed scan. I was referred to a private clinic located at MAH for a detailed scan 2 days later. To my horror, the gynae at MAH diagnosed my baby with Amniotic band syndrome as well as clubbed feet after a 30mins scan - the prognosis was really bad and the MAH Gynae advised that I should terminate my pregnancy.
I went back to see my regular gynae (Gleneagles) the following day and she too advised termination of pregnancy. I didn’t give up just then and decided to seek a second opinion at KKH.
We managed to get a slot at KKH 3 days later. On Friday morning, we had a very detailed scan at KKH Antenatal Diagnostic Centre and the scan was performed by a very dedicated lady name Ms Vasanthy. She spent more than two hours screening my baby, requesting that I flip in different positions so she can have a closer look from different angles - I’m really grateful and hugely impressed with their service (I’ve never been given this much attention during my scans at MAH, twice). After the scan, we had a review with another gynae at KKH and my baby has been diagnosed with Iniencephaly (a lethal rare birth defect) as well as clubbed feet, she doesn’t have amniotic band syndrome as mentioned by MAH. Although the Prognosis is equally bad, I am slightly relieved that my baby isn’t hurting at least. It was also then that we knew we had to let her go.
As my regular gynae (Gleneagles) will be away the following week, we decided that we will just go with KKH for the termination which was scheduled for the following Tuesday. Upon reflection, I regretted my decision as:
1. KKH doesn’t guarantee single wards and I most certainly do not want to go through this process alone (KKH has visitation hours for shared wards) in case I can’t be assigned to single wards.
2. KKH only offers oral/anal medication or injections for pain management - epidural is not a choice.
I frantically rang up a few clinics at Mount E Novena (this hospital only offers single ward) the following day and I managed to find a gynae who was willing to slot me in for an urgent consultation at 10am the same morning. We rushed over to his clinic and he has very kindly scheduled the procedure for me on the following Monday, which happened to be a PH, the only day where wards/OT are available. He also offered oral medication/ injections for pain management but added that I could request for epidural if the pain is really unmanageable - I felt much more relieved knowing that I have better pain management options.
On the day of procedure, they inserted pills into my vagina at 13:20, 17:30, 21:40, 01:40. I started having chills and fever at around 16:00 but I never felt any pain until about 03:00. It started with very mild contraction with a little cramp in the lower abdomen and the pain slowly increases/lengthens with pain extended to the lower back. It probably got intense (but it’s not unbearable) for another hour or so and that’s when I requested for oral painkiller at about 04:30. By the time I took the medication, it was about 04:40 (the medication hasn’t even taken effect) and I felt a strong urge to poop but it was actually my water bag that burst and my baby girl arrived at 04:45. I burst into tears immediately, not because it’s painful but because I know my baby is gone. In fact, the pain was gone the moment my water bag burst. The nurses cleaned up my baby and we were given a chance to hold her in our arms to bid her goodbye. I was subsequently wheeled into the OT for washing of womb under GA.
2 days have since passed and there isn’t a moment where my baby girl wasn’t on my mind. The loss is devastating, it felt like a horrible nightmare - one moment I have my baby girl in me and she’s gone the next minute. No mummies in the world deserves to go through such an ordeal. I can only pray that my baby girl is now getting a better life in heaven and I’ll see her again when my time is up. In the meantime, I am focused on nursing my health back so I can hopefully look forward to my next pregnancy.
And to the mummies who unfortunately find yourself here in this forum, please be brave, induction of labour isn’t as scary as some might say although bodies do react differently. I am 40, terrified of pains and needles, never had menstrual cramps ever. I even tear when I had to draw blood during health screening. If I can do it, you can too.
Finally, I would like to give credits to my dearest husband (in case you see my post) - thank you for being here with me and every step along the way. I might have gone borderline insane in fear of the birthing process but I am really grateful that you have been showering me with TLC, being supportive and tolerant with me during the worst week of my life.
During my 14 weeks routine scan, my dear baby girl was seen with a hyperextended neck. My gynae (Gleneagles) explained that babies are flexible and it can sometimes happen although unusual. I went back for a subsequent scan during my 15week and she was still in the same position. My gynae asked me not to worry and she will probably grow out of it over time.
By the 18 week, I went back for another routine scan and her position looks really off and I started getting really concerned and I ask for a more detailed scan. I was referred to a private clinic located at MAH for a detailed scan 2 days later. To my horror, the gynae at MAH diagnosed my baby with Amniotic band syndrome as well as clubbed feet after a 30mins scan - the prognosis was really bad and the MAH Gynae advised that I should terminate my pregnancy.
I went back to see my regular gynae (Gleneagles) the following day and she too advised termination of pregnancy. I didn’t give up just then and decided to seek a second opinion at KKH.
We managed to get a slot at KKH 3 days later. On Friday morning, we had a very detailed scan at KKH Antenatal Diagnostic Centre and the scan was performed by a very dedicated lady name Ms Vasanthy. She spent more than two hours screening my baby, requesting that I flip in different positions so she can have a closer look from different angles - I’m really grateful and hugely impressed with their service (I’ve never been given this much attention during my scans at MAH, twice). After the scan, we had a review with another gynae at KKH and my baby has been diagnosed with Iniencephaly (a lethal rare birth defect) as well as clubbed feet, she doesn’t have amniotic band syndrome as mentioned by MAH. Although the Prognosis is equally bad, I am slightly relieved that my baby isn’t hurting at least. It was also then that we knew we had to let her go.
As my regular gynae (Gleneagles) will be away the following week, we decided that we will just go with KKH for the termination which was scheduled for the following Tuesday. Upon reflection, I regretted my decision as:
1. KKH doesn’t guarantee single wards and I most certainly do not want to go through this process alone (KKH has visitation hours for shared wards) in case I can’t be assigned to single wards.
2. KKH only offers oral/anal medication or injections for pain management - epidural is not a choice.
I frantically rang up a few clinics at Mount E Novena (this hospital only offers single ward) the following day and I managed to find a gynae who was willing to slot me in for an urgent consultation at 10am the same morning. We rushed over to his clinic and he has very kindly scheduled the procedure for me on the following Monday, which happened to be a PH, the only day where wards/OT are available. He also offered oral medication/ injections for pain management but added that I could request for epidural if the pain is really unmanageable - I felt much more relieved knowing that I have better pain management options.
On the day of procedure, they inserted pills into my vagina at 13:20, 17:30, 21:40, 01:40. I started having chills and fever at around 16:00 but I never felt any pain until about 03:00. It started with very mild contraction with a little cramp in the lower abdomen and the pain slowly increases/lengthens with pain extended to the lower back. It probably got intense (but it’s not unbearable) for another hour or so and that’s when I requested for oral painkiller at about 04:30. By the time I took the medication, it was about 04:40 (the medication hasn’t even taken effect) and I felt a strong urge to poop but it was actually my water bag that burst and my baby girl arrived at 04:45. I burst into tears immediately, not because it’s painful but because I know my baby is gone. In fact, the pain was gone the moment my water bag burst. The nurses cleaned up my baby and we were given a chance to hold her in our arms to bid her goodbye. I was subsequently wheeled into the OT for washing of womb under GA.
2 days have since passed and there isn’t a moment where my baby girl wasn’t on my mind. The loss is devastating, it felt like a horrible nightmare - one moment I have my baby girl in me and she’s gone the next minute. No mummies in the world deserves to go through such an ordeal. I can only pray that my baby girl is now getting a better life in heaven and I’ll see her again when my time is up. In the meantime, I am focused on nursing my health back so I can hopefully look forward to my next pregnancy.
And to the mummies who unfortunately find yourself here in this forum, please be brave, induction of labour isn’t as scary as some might say although bodies do react differently. I am 40, terrified of pains and needles, never had menstrual cramps ever. I even tear when I had to draw blood during health screening. If I can do it, you can too.
Finally, I would like to give credits to my dearest husband (in case you see my post) - thank you for being here with me and every step along the way. I might have gone borderline insane in fear of the birthing process but I am really grateful that you have been showering me with TLC, being supportive and tolerant with me during the worst week of my life.
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Hi Lin,
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. I know the feeling and it's a pain you can't explain. It was my first pregnancy too and even though it has been a few months, I still tear up when I think of my baby. All I can say, it'll get better and I keep telling myself it was not meant to be and we will be blessed with our rainbow baby soon. Pls msg me if you would like to talk. I'll share my no. My husband was my rock even though he was in pain too.
Hi Sia, I’m sorry that we have to “meet” under such circumstances. I’m sure time will ease the pain but our dear babies will never be forgotten. I only wish for my body to heal soon and for my bio clock to allow me more time to try for a baby again. May god grant us all a second chance.
I've also had the experience of going through an MTPT a couple of months ago, and it's sad because me and my hubby really wanted to have a baby. We've been trying so long and was overjoyed to learn we were pregnant. You can imagine how devastated we were when we were given the bad news. My gynae was Dr Jen Shek Wei (private) and he was sympathetic to my situation. It was a difficult decision to make but he assured us that it was not our fault, and also explained why such things could happen.
I'm thankful that I had the support of family and friends during the healing process. We're hopeful that we'll have another baby in the future.
I'm thankful that I had the support of family and friends during the healing process. We're hopeful that we'll have another baby in the future.
Hello, may I ask how’s Dr Pamela Tan when it comes to mid term termination? ThanksHi all, it’s been a week since my mtmp... it was my first pregnancy and we found out at the week 20 structural scan that he had a fatal abnormality - his bones were not developing so he had short limbs and a small rib cage so his lungs could not develop and he wouldn’t be able to breathe.
I was with Dr Paul Tseng and he advised that he did not do terminations so we were referred to dr Pamela Tan. The whole day was a blur for us, we were so excited to see our baby boy during the scan but instead were given the news.
We checked into TMC a day later, and they started me on cytotec at 930am. One full cycle later, I still didn’t dilate enough to go into labour so they told me to sleep and we would restart the process at 8am. The next day, after the 2nd pill at 11am, I finally started feeling the pain at about 12.30pm. I never felt this amount of pain in my life and my threshold is so low. It escalated so quickly that I didn’t even have enough time to ask for the painkiller injection. At 12.50pm, my boy came out and I was given time to rest before the evacuation.
I’m still crying everytime I think about my angel, and I’m terrified that there is something wrong with me or my husbands genes, but I really want to have kids and I can’t stop thinking about what could have been... I tried to google the % of normal vs abnormal pregnancies, but it didn’t console me since the number is so high. I’m turning 31 next month so I’m not getting any younger too so I don’t know how long I can wait before trying
Hi can i ask if Dr Jen performed the mid trimester termination in his clinic itself or we have to be admitted to the hospital to perform the procedure? Thanks!
Hi can i check if this MTPT was done in his clinic itself or have to be done in the hospital?
@itsmelissa Hi unfortunately i am also going through this phase and would like to ask at which week of pregnancy did you terminate it with Dr Jen? Thanks
Hi all,
Not sure if this thread is still active. I just received my NIPT results and my baby is of high risk for T21, it’s more than >92/100. My husband and I are devastated. I had 2 miscarriages last year at week 6 and week 8. I thought those were painful enough until this. I will be doing amniocentesis end Aug to confirm the results. I am not hopeful as I understand NIPT is more than 99% accurate for Down syndrome.
Life still have to go on. I have a daughter who I need to take care of. My husband’s emotion is not very stable, he is quite depressed as well. We have no help, we are the only caregivers to my girl. The world seems to have collapsed. Just last week, we told my girl that she is going to be big sister and now this week, we broke the unfortunate news to her. She is 6yo, sort of understand. With my age, and all these experiences, I don’t think I have the courage to try again.
Thank you for reading my story. May I know how do all of you cope especially when you still have other kids? I feel so sorry to my baby girl in me. I am also very worried about the MTPT procedure. I have been crying uncontrollably.
Very depressed mummy here.
Not sure if this thread is still active. I just received my NIPT results and my baby is of high risk for T21, it’s more than >92/100. My husband and I are devastated. I had 2 miscarriages last year at week 6 and week 8. I thought those were painful enough until this. I will be doing amniocentesis end Aug to confirm the results. I am not hopeful as I understand NIPT is more than 99% accurate for Down syndrome.
Life still have to go on. I have a daughter who I need to take care of. My husband’s emotion is not very stable, he is quite depressed as well. We have no help, we are the only caregivers to my girl. The world seems to have collapsed. Just last week, we told my girl that she is going to be big sister and now this week, we broke the unfortunate news to her. She is 6yo, sort of understand. With my age, and all these experiences, I don’t think I have the courage to try again.
Thank you for reading my story. May I know how do all of you cope especially when you still have other kids? I feel so sorry to my baby girl in me. I am also very worried about the MTPT procedure. I have been crying uncontrollably.
Very depressed mummy here.