Support Group - Mid Term Termination Of Pregnancy

Hi, Roaring. I understand how you feel as I just had my MTPT for my 13w bb on 19/8. Was happily going for my 13w scan to screen for down syndrome but was told by sonographer that the baby is abnormal. This was my second pregnancy. The first ended at 8w as a blighted ovum. My dh and I were very happy to finally conceive after ttc for 8months but the happiness was short lived although I still treasure this 13w dearly. My gynae diagnosed my bb as acrania, meaning that the skull had not formed and this is a 100% fatality. Post mortem was not done as the doctor felt that it was a structural defect more than a genetic defect. But I am also worried about the subsequent pregnancy. May ask if we needed any genetic testing before trying for the next bb. I am missing my bb and I am sure you too. We must both take care of ourselves for our little ones in heaven.
 

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Hi, Roaring. I understand how you feel as I just had my MTPT for my 13w bb on 19/8. Was happily going for my 13w scan to screen for down syndrome but was told by sonographer that the baby is abnormal. This was my second pregnancy. The first ended at 8w as a blighted ovum. My dh and I were very happy to finally conceive after ttc for 8months buy the happiness was short lived although I still treasure this 13w dearly. My gynae diagnosed my bb as acrania, meaning that the skull had not formed and this is a 100% fatality. Post mortem was not done as the doctor felt that it was a structural defect more than a genetic defect. But I am also worried about the subsequent pregnancy. May ask if we needed any genetic testing before trying for the next bb. I am missing my bb and I am sure you too. We must both take care of ourselves for our little ones in heaven.

Sorry to hear about your loss. I was in the same situation as you last year when my angel baby was diagnosed with acrania. We did not do a postmortem as well because I cannot bear to let my little angel go through postmortem after meeting my little angel for the first and last time after delivery. My gynae has the same opinion that it was spontaneous as my no.1 is a healthy and cheerful 4 yo. Take care of yourself and stay positive and our rainbow babies will be here to join us soon
 
Although it's been over 3 weeks since the procedure, I still come by this site to read the posts here. It seems to be the cases for some of you as well. It's almost like a way for us to remember our ordeal and loss.
 
I had a MTPT in Oct last year...BB was diagnosed with T21 and heart defect. He was our 2nd BB.
We went through the OSCARS, Harmony and finally Amnio test to confirm his condition before we make the difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy.

My hubby and I cannot accept it when our OSCARS result was 1:2. But we stayed positive and went for a 2nd opinion by another Gynae and did the Harmony Test. The result was positive for T21. And still we remain positive and hoping for a slightest chance that there could be false positive to the results and went on for the final test available that is Amnio. The result came out to be the same. We were defeated, devastated, sad and disappointed. We asked ourselves why would such thing happened to us?

1 of the Gynae said due to DS with heart defect, BB would have only a 50% chance to be born alive. Even if he is born alive, he would have to suffer and will not be able to live long as his heart condition might cause the liver to fail. Moreover, a DS baby would have a lot of health issues. My initial thought was even if I do not do anything and continue with the pregnancy and see how it goes, there will still be a 50% chance that the baby would be stillborn.

Another Gynae advised was, now that I knew his condition, I have a choice to decide what is best for him. It is better not to let him suffer.

So we were left with two options - don't do anything and let nature take it course OR terminate the pregnancy. I was around 18 weeks pregnant then.

When we were trying to decide which option to take, my hubby commented that perhaps if the BB can talk, he might tell me to let him go and not let him suffer. Still making a decision is not easy. We discussed about the practical issues - will he survived even though he can be born alive? How many medical attention does he need in order for him to pull through? How long will he lived? Financially are we able to cope? who will be there to take care of him?

I discussed with my family and all advised me to terminate the pregnancy because BB is suffering in my womb and he will suffer if he is able to born alive. Also I've received advise that it is a blessing from God to us that he allowed us to know our BB condition early so that we parents know what is best for the BB.

After all the advises, we have decided to terminate the BB. I apologised to the BB telling him that mommy and daddy believed this is the best option. I apologised to the baby many times and also told him that I hope he can be reborn as a normal, healthy and happy baby and into a good family.

Also blessing from God that I only need 3 pills and BB came out peacefully. I did not dare to look at the BB because I was afraid.
The nurse told me that BB is very peaceful and she assured me that I've made the right choice because since she works in the hospital, she sees lots of children suffering. We as parents definitely do not want our own children to suffer. We will want to protect them as best as we could. My recovery was also very smooth. No heavy bleeding and menses came back as per normal.

After the procedure, I felt sense of relieved. I knew BB is in a better place. However, nearly 3 months has passed now, the feeling of guilt and upset came back. I felt so trapped. I can't stop asking myself is the BB in better place now? Did I really made the right decision back then? What happened if we chose a different option? All these thoughts gave me sleepless nights.

I guessed only time will heal.
Sorry for the long post as I needed a channel to open up.

Shoutout to my BB - mommy loves and misses you. mommy knows mommy needs to learnt to let go. mommy will be better as time passes. mommy hopes BB is in a better place.
 
妹子
不要想那么多了
就算是宝贝的一种解脱吧
来世再来的时候
希望带来的是健康
你就把身子弄好
迎接下一个宝贝
若有缘 宝贝会再来找你的
加油
往前看
 
My wife went through mtpt last year, i chances upon this thread when im really lost and finding explanations on the net on why this is happening.

I just want to let others know, It is a tough decision, its a painful decision, its not easy to go through, But how matter bad it is, stick together as a couple.

Everything was going smooth, both of us were young and healthy, Oscar was 1:15000,or 1:1500 all previous visits to gynea shows no abnormalities, Until the detailed scan on the 20th week, detailed scan showed us, water in brain, swell of brain, hole in heart, cant detect stomach, lips clelfed. There is likely chances of stillborn.
Our whole world just came crashing down, we made the decision to terminate that day. Cried the whole night with my wife, cried whenever i thought of baby & her when she still goes to work while waiting for the appointment procedure in days

The procedure took 4 to 5 days, if i remember correctly, took 2 rounds of pill. Each round have 5 pills?

For husbands, be strong, tide it through with your wife, your wife probably took it much harder than you. I'm grateful for my wife, i'm grateful that she is safe and sound thats all matters to me when i was with her in the hospital.

Have good communication even after the procedure, talk about it, and accept it. i hope my post would benefit this very thread.

be strong friends!
 
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Can anyone share how bad the pain is gonna be and how long did the whole process take?

My first pill was inserted at around 3pm+ and my baby was out at 1+am. Approx 3 pills.

The physical pain was still manageable, but abit of an emotional whreck after that. Then about 7am was pushed to operating theatre to clean up my inside, to see if there are any remaints. Discharged at 2pm that day.
 
Hi all, not sure if this trend is still active.
I just went thru my termination of pregnancy (due to multiple fetal abnormalities) at week 21. May i know how long will my hcg level drop?
Im not sure if im having my menses now or its just lochia..
Really desperate to start on ttc for my rainbow bb....
 
Hi all, not sure if this trend is still active.
I just went thru my termination of pregnancy (due to multiple fetal abnormalities) at week 21. May i know how long will my hcg level drop?
Im not sure if im having my menses now or its just lochia..
Really desperate to start on ttc for my rainbow bb....
Hi i did my mid term pregnancy termination at week 16. Inserted 3 pills and foetus was out. Still had to do d/c to clean up the wound.
Try to do a mini confinement with tonics to heal your body. For me I went public free clinic (大众医院) to consult TCC for a few months before I got pregnant again twice and now I have 1 girl and 1 boy.
Don’t give up hope and stay positive!
 
It is depressing, having to revive this thread and touch on this painful subject. I was lurking, not posting, just googling around quietly, trying to make sense of what my husband and I had to resort to do, to a very much wanted baby.

What somehow also weighed on our minds, after grappling with our decision and learning about acceptance, is what would happen to our baby after the procedure. That is something no one likes to talk about.

As if it wasn’t awful enough that we will be leaving the hospital with empty arms. Our doctor quietly told us we had the option of leaving it to the hospital to handle the remains as biowaste or to arrange for a cremation, which we would have to handle ourselves before I was to be discharged. I was still reeling from the shock of the diagnosis and trying to process what would happen during the medical termination procedure. Never thought I’d be selecting an urn for my child. How would we be in the right frame of mind to give our baby the send off he deserved?

My Husband made a few phone calls and eventually we went with Singapore Funeral Services (Eric at 6841 4666). There are many others which can handle our particular circumstances. But we felt this company stood out and we felt most comfortable with them. They were sensitive and respectful and we felt our little one was in good hands.

The kindly nurses helped dress our little man in a little tuxedo gown and a tiny knitted hat made by hand and donated by the lovely volunteers at Angel Hearts Community (http://www.facebook.com/AngelHearts.SG). He was sent along on his new journey dressed smartly in his Sunday best.

The undertakers came promptly and helped send him to Mandai Crematorium. You can choose to attend if you wish. After I was well enough, we both made our way to their office to select a little urn. The company kindly helped transport us to Mandai to collect his ashes and the personnel offered to take us all home. There is an option for sea scattering if you would like to do that. If you can’t decide and it is too painful to think, it is okay. You can take your time and do it at a later date when you are coping better. It is best to take some time out to consider things so that there are no regrets and you are peace with your choice.

While I know words can’t ease the pain nor make things better, I had hope this post will help others like us try to find a little comfort and maybe even a little peace during the entire process. This is not an easy topic of conversation and no one around me knew what to do with a deceased child after a medical termination especially because they are so tiny. And sadly, it is something no one likes to talk about. But that doesn’t mean we as parents can’t do something. I couldn’t find many posts on what happens after and this is what I felt I can contribute to, if there are those of you out there looking for answers like I was. I felt I didn’t have much of a choice in the end on how our baby turned out. But we could do something about this.

We don’t think we will ever be the same again. But it was important to us that I forgive him and he forgives me for making this horrible decision. Someday soon, we will find strength to begin our new normal. My heart is with everyone who has to go through this.
 
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It is with much bitterness that I am composing this post. I have not been posting for three months since I was pregnant. I have been anticipating yesterday since I would have been 13 weeks - the finish of first trimester for the specific first time and I couldn't hold up to impart to you my bliss. Never did I expect that my euphoria has indeed dispersed into something that I don't know how to depict.
:( Would you like to talk about it here and share?
 
Hi... this may sound so wrong, but i wanna thank all who were here before me for sharing their journey through their MTPT. It helped me understand what to expect and also to know that such an event is just not within our control and unpredictable.

On 13 Oct about 6.30pm, I delivered my dear boy at 18 wks 2 days. It was a heart-breaking decision. But we really do not have a choice. Both me and hubby are alpha Thalassemia minors w double deletions. Dear baby inherited faulty genes from both of us. He has zero alpha genes, which makes it quite impossible for him to even survive till birth. We conceived him through IVF and he was the only blastocyst we had. Thankfully, we already had a healthy daughter through our first IVF.

For those who are going through MTPT, here’s what I did before and after it.
- consider your preference... normal delivery via induction... means u are literally going to go through the whole birthing process. Contractions, bursting of water bag and pushing out your baby and delivering the placenta. Or do u have the option of surgical D&E.
I did my MTPT at KKH and they only allow induction and birthing first before surgical D&E. I think most would opt for birthing because then the child will be whole. If surgical D&E, it means they will use forceps to tear out parts of the baby and remove it parts by parts before vacuuming whatever’s still left behind.
- Next, be prepared that KKH do not offer Epidural for MTPT. The norm would be just the oral pain killers. If still not enough, they only offer pethidine injection on thigh.
- As u are nearing the delivery, you will experience continuous pain instead of the waves of contraction pains.
- Decide if you want to see your baby or take any photos.
- Decide if you want to let the hospital handle the baby or do you intend to bring the baby back for cremation or burial. For KKH, they do mass burial for muslims and mass cremation for non-muslims.
- Post-delivery, consider doing a mini-confinement (2-4wks), depending on how far u are into the pregnancy or how big your baby was. I ordered catered confinement food for 2 weeks from richfood catering, single meal lunch which I split for dinner as well, but needed to cook more rice. I also arranged for post-natal masseur to come to my house for the traditional massage and wrap. But instead of the full 10 sessions, I did 5. I think it helps soothe the body and uterus. But do it when you’re no longer having heavy bleeding about 5-10 days later. I also bought the Da Feng Ai packet herbs for showering. I got mine from Hock Hua.
- Be prepared if your breast is leaking w BM. You can get pills from the doc to stop it or you can cut it out slowly via cold cabbage and No More Milk Tea (Earth Mama Angel Baby).

For now, we are done. No more IVFs etc. We have tried to give my little girl a sibling, but it’s just not meant to be. I will focus on taking good care of my girl and cherish the time we have together.
Dear Didi, please Rest In Peace. For the short time that we were together, thank you.
 
Hi,
I'm really sad to read all these stories and feel for the families have had to go through.

I am faced with the possibility of the same thing and wanted to reach out to see if anyone can offer any advice.

I'm at 13 weeks and I've just been told that my baby is likely to have hypoplastic left heart syndrome (hlhs), which is a rare congenital heart problem. Baby also has 2 holes in the heart. The heart specialist gave a really poor prognosis.

I have 2 questions:
1) has anyone had similar diagnosis before?
2) regardless of the whether it is a similar or different condition, I'm curious what led you to this difficult decision of a MTPT, and if there are any advices on how to cope thereafter.

Thank you so much in advance.
 
I really appreciate everyone here who has shared with us your painful journey. This forum has helped me cope with my loss, knowing we are not alone in this world who had to suffer such heartache.

Our baby girl was 18 weeks old when I terminated my pregnancy 3 weeks ago. She was tested positive for trisomy 21 - we went through Panorama & Harmony screenings, then eventually Amnio. The gynae also mentioned her swelling was bad, and most likely she won't survive past 20 weeks. My husband & I broke down at the clinic after hearing this. I was sobbing non stop when my gynae did the final ultrasound on my baby - I knew that was the final time I got to see my baby alive via the ultrasound. As both my Panorama & Harmony screenings were of very high risk, we were mentally prepared. But still, I guess we were hoping for a miracle and we were shattered by the amnio result.

I was admitted at midnight at Mount E Novena. After spending some time to talk/clarify with the nurses, they began the labour process at around 2am. I had my first dosage of Cytotec (4pills) inserted into my vagina. Shortly after, I began to shiver and was running a fever (side effects). But contractions wise, I felt nothing much. Then the 2nd dose (2pills) came at 5am. Shortly after, the contractions came and before we could even call for the nurses, my baby just sort of slipped out of me. The process was quick and relatively easy for me and we took comfort in that - it was as though our baby was ready to move on. The nurses then cleaned our baby girl and she stayed with us for a while. We managed to hold and talk to her. She looked peaceful. After my gynae arrived, I was then sent for uterus evac and to remove my placenta under GA, while my husband liaised with the undertaker to arrange for our baby girl's cremation, together with the many things we had bought for her. After my discharge the next day, we went to Mandai to collect her ashes and then proceeded for her sea burial.

The first week upon my discharge was extremely tough. It is true that it doesn't matter if you already have kids, or if you can get pregnant again. A loss is a loss and it stays with you forever. I'm thankful for a supportive husband, friends and colleagues. We will move on, while our baby girl remains in our hearts forever.

Wherever I am, you'll always be, more than just a memory.
 
I really appreciate everyone here who has shared with us your painful journey. This forum has helped me cope with my loss, knowing we are not alone in this world who had to suffer such heartache.

Our baby girl was 18 weeks old when I terminated my pregnancy 3 weeks ago. She was tested positive for trisomy 21 - we went through Panorama & Harmony screenings, then eventually Amnio. The gynae also mentioned her swelling was bad, and most likely she won't survive past 20 weeks. My husband & I broke down at the clinic after hearing this. I was sobbing non stop when my gynae did the final ultrasound on my baby - I knew that was the final time I got to see my baby alive via the ultrasound. As both my Panorama & Harmony screenings were of very high risk, we were mentally prepared. But still, I guess we were hoping for a miracle and we were shattered by the amnio result.

I was admitted at midnight at Mount E Novena. After spending some time to talk/clarify with the nurses, they began the labour process at around 2am. I had my first dosage of Cytotec (4pills) inserted into my vagina. Shortly after, I began to shiver and was running a fever (side effects). But contractions wise, I felt nothing much. Then the 2nd dose (2pills) came at 5am. Shortly after, the contractions came and before we could even call for the nurses, my baby just sort of slipped out of me. The process was quick and relatively easy for me and we took comfort in that - it was as though our baby was ready to move on. The nurses then cleaned our baby girl and she stayed with us for a while. We managed to hold and talk to her. She looked peaceful. After my gynae arrived, I was then sent for uterus evac and to remove my placenta under GA, while my husband liaised with the undertaker to arrange for our baby girl's cremation, together with the many things we had bought for her. After my discharge the next day, we went to Mandai to collect her ashes and then proceeded for her sea burial.

The first week upon my discharge was extremely tough. It is true that it doesn't matter if you already have kids, or if you can get pregnant again. A loss is a loss and it stays with you forever. I'm thankful for a supportive husband, friends and colleagues. We will move on, while our baby girl remains in our hearts forever.

Wherever I am, you'll always be, more than just a memory.


Dear Michigan,

I am really sorry to hear about your loss. Hope you will have your rainbow baby soon. And if you have other child(ren), do try to cherish your moments with them.
 
Hi ladies,

I have been reading this thread for the past month and really appreciate everyone here who has shared their stories.

2 weeks plus ago, I delivered my baby girl at her 22 weeks 4 days. Same as HappyGoh23, both me and my husband are also alpha thalassemia minor with double deletions. My baby girl was detected with enlarged heart in her week 20 detailed scan and amniocentesis test result has confirmed that she has barts hydrops fetalis (alpha thalassemia major). We decided to seek for a second opinion, and got to know that other than terminating our pregnancy, there will be treatment for our little one. But after understanding the whole treatment path, both of us have thought about it a lot. As it will be too torturing for our little one and we do not bear to see her suffer so much, so we have made the most difficult and heart breaking decision to end our pregnancy. This is really a very heart breaking decision for any parents, it's never easy for parents to say that they would want to terminate the pregnancy. Moreover, she is our first child.

Delivered my baby girl at TMC. The 1st dose (2 pills) was inserted around 1am, and in total I had 5 doses (1 cycle of pills) inserted before I gave birth to her, took me near to 15 hours in total. There were a mixed feeling when i gave birth to her, one part of me feels that I finally gave birth to my baby girl, but another part of me wanted to squeeze my baby girl back to my womb to continue letting her grow inside of me. My husband broke down the moment my baby girl was out, and to my surprise, I didn't broke down at that moment, but instead the emotional sadness kicked in that midnight. Looking at the quiet ward, thinking of why am I going through all this and where is my baby that I just gave birth. Until now, I will still cry myself to sleep or anytime of the day when I'm missing my baby girl. It's been really tough, and I think I need time to allow my mental to recover.

By the way, we did a cremation for our baby girl at Mandai. My husband had engaged Singapore Funeral Services for the cremation. Moses from SFS was very nice and experience, so we felt that we can entrust them for our baby girl's cremation. I'm also currently doing a full confinement, as my mum and relatives say I'm quite far into my pregnancy, therefore it will be best to do a full confinement instead of mini-confinement. I have also arranged for 7 sessions of post-natal massage for traditional massage and binding.

To my baby girl, please remember that Daddy and Mummy loves you so much, and you are our daughter forever. Wherever you are, we will always remember you in our heart. Love you, our little princess.
 
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Hi ladies,

In October, I terminated my pregnancy at week 14 as my baby girl was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. It was the worst news and the hardest decision we had to make. It was also our first pregnancy. I had a D&C and my menses came about 4 weeks after. I just had my 3rd period cycle but it is still light, lasting about 2 days only. Before the pregnancy, my period lasts about 4 to 5 days, and there will be heavy flows especially on the second day. Even though my period is lighter now and lasts shorter than before, for each cycle, my period does come on time with a 28 days cycle.

I am trying not be worry, thinking that this might be normal as the hormones balances itself and it has only been 3 months since the D&C. But on the other hand, I have read the D&C procedure will thin the uterine lining and it might be harder to get pregnant or stay pregnant.

Hope to read about your recovery experiences. Trying to stay positive!
 
I have read all your stories in this thread. Every single one breaks my heart. Thank you for sharing your pain, tears and rainbow stories. It gives me assurance that life does and can go on. That there is also hope and I can and will be able to get through this and somewhat be happy again.


We are presently 18 weeks and 5 days. We have gone through the anxiety of Oscar Test and nerve-wrecking Amniocentesis at KKH. We found out that our precious baby girl has Trisomy 21 and several defects that includes clubfoot.


We came up with her name 3 days ago, and it was very difficult knowing that we could only call out to her in our hearts and memories. There may never be a chance for us to call out her name as we (DH ~ Dearest Husband, and I) have decided to bid our goodbyes after seeing her 1 last time during the 20 week detailed scan. Now, I am not sure if I can go through with it.


We shared with our parents, our siblings are far away and we didn't want to worry them. I told my closest friends and colleagues. Only because there is a colleague who is due for delivery around the same time I need to induce labour for mid-term termination of pregnancy. It would only be fair to give them time for any possible operational arrangements at work; I am thoughtless like that (sigh!).


No one talks to me about this pregnancy or how I am doing because I specifically told them not to. I fear that I cannot manage my emotions if that ever happens. Inside, i am such a wreck that I tear at every single thing. I have been crying every night and DH feels so helpless all he could do is to hug me tightly till I fall asleep from exhaustion.


Today, I felt her kicks for the first time. Like she knew that I am longing for her. A very small part deep within me hopes and prays that she does not have all the scary things told and shown to us. Despite the science and tests proving otherwise.


She has an older sister who is 3 years old. Her sister loves to sit beside me talking to her, patting her and telling her to grow gently so mummy won't be in pain. She keeps asking when the baby will be out so that they could play together. How will I ever be able to explain that baby is sick and she may not get to see her sibling.


We are desperately trying to draw strength from any possible source each passing day. As we come closer to seeing her 1 final time on the ultrasound scan, I can only pray that we are brave enough to move on and live again. One small step, one day at a time.
 
My heart is with you. I wept all the time during every scans in my past pregnancies.. it hurts seeing an active baby in my womb knowing that I couldn’t give it a life. Cry and do whatever makes you feel comfy.. but remember our babies will watch us from the sky and Life needs to move on. I’m a Buddhist so I will always remind myself my babies are with Buddha.. hugs and take care.
 
We will always remember the baby we had. Though the baby cannot be with us physically but he/she is always in our hearts. With my original EDD date approaching, I am trying to stay strong. I've been stopping myself from all the thoughts of "what ifs". Praying every day and keeping faith hope and love in my heart. Like what you say, one small step, one day at a time. Remember, you are not alone. We will be stronger together.
 
hi gals...
i'm claire here...
i join ur thread hor...
cos i seriously wanna know what shiseru is talking abt during our conversation....
haha...
 
Thank you, @Wen822 & @Jodi08 for your words of encouragement. My appt with KKH Dr for termination counselling is tomorrow.

As much as we are trying to be strong, it is very difficult not to think about the loss of our precious baby girl.

May I know what happens during the termination counselling appt with the dr? And how does the process goes from here? Trying to be as mentally prepared as we can for this process.

Thank you in advance for any replies.
 
Thank you, @Wen822 & @Jodi08 for your words of encouragement. My appt with KKH Dr for termination counselling is tomorrow.

As much as we are trying to be strong, it is very difficult not to think about the loss of our precious baby girl.

May I know what happens during the termination counselling appt with the dr? And how does the process goes from here? Trying to be as mentally prepared as we can for this process.

Thank you in advance for any replies.
Honestly I can’t remember....I think the doctor may describe to you the process as well as advising ways of getting help if you need.. I have requested for an A ward for privacy reason. The ordeal took me about 8 hours.. with side effects like shivers and cramps for hours... stay strong .. hugz
 
Dearest mummies and daddies, I delivered my angel baby on 18 March 2020 at 8.15pm, after 2 doses of vaginal pessary at 12.15pm and 4.15pm. Her placenta came along one hour later with much lesser pain.


She was so beautiful, had mummy's nose and daddy's lips. Just like her 3yo sister. She was 21weeks and 4 days old. I took some quiet time with her, blessed I could pull up all my courage to do so. On 19 March 2020, we buried her.


Our hearts ached every single second. My hand keeps reaching out to hold my tummy protecting what is no longer there and yearned for her flurry kicks.


4 days after our precious was born, my colleague delivered her healthy and kicking baby girl. I've never felt so happy and sad at the same time, for me and her. We both gave birth but had very different outcomes.


We still cry together, DH and I whenever memories of her creeps into our minds and hearts.


We now live for our surviving child, our 3yo and hope in the future to have the courage to try for another one once we are emotionally and physically ready.


I pray for all mummies and daddies to have the strength to get through these tough times, and be stronger than ever before. May God bless us all, and grant us solace and peace... ❤
 
Last Saturday was my actual edd. The night before it turns 18th April, i became so emotional. I cried so badly and i told my husband what will it be like if our baby girl were free of thalassemia? We will be holding her in our arms and celebrating this special day with her. It has been 4 months since my termination, and i have been trying my best to stay strong. Most of my friends and family do not dare to talk about this to us, and most of them thinks that i’m getting better. Yes, indeed. I’m feeling better as compared to 4 months ago, but no matter how long it has been, my heart still hurts badly. I tried my best to not think of the “what if” thoughts. What if i didn’t terminated, what if my baby girl is still alive, what if all this didn’t happened to me at all. But at times, i will still ask myself why is this happening to me. But i guess all this happened for a reason, and it will let us be stronger too. I pray for all mummies who encountered the same as me, to be strong and have faith. I wish that we will all have our rainbow babies one day, soon.
 
H
Last Saturday was my actual edd. The night before it turns 18th April, i became so emotional. I cried so badly and i told my husband what will it be like if our baby girl were free of thalassemia? We will be holding her in our arms and celebrating this special day with her. It has been 4 months since my termination, and i have been trying my best to stay strong. Most of my friends and family do not dare to talk about this to us, and most of them thinks that i’m getting better. Yes, indeed. I’m feeling better as compared to 4 months ago, but no matter how long it has been, my heart still hurts badly. I tried my best to not think of the “what if” thoughts. What if i didn’t terminated, what if my baby girl is still alive, what if all this didn’t happened to me at all. But at times, i will still ask myself why is this happening to me. But i guess all this happened for a reason, and it will let us be stronger too. I pray for all mummies who encountered the same as me, to be strong and have faith. I wish that we will all have our rainbow babies one day, soon.
Hi,

Did you terminate your pregnancy because of bart's hydrops? I just got my CVS result on Mon and my baby unfortunately fall into the 25% with Bart's hydrops. Both my husband and I are alpha thalaessemia carriers. I am having D&C tomorrow. My baby is approaching 12 weeks.
 
Hi,

I am not really having a mid term pregnancy termination. My baby is approaching 12 weeks. My husband and I are alpha thalassemia carriers. We tried ivf previously with pgd screening last year but two attempts were unsuccessful. This time I conceived naturally and did a cvs at week 10 day 4. Was hoping to be in the 75% where baby will be healthy but unfortunately we were so unlucky and baby inherited both our faulty genes. I am having d&c tomorrow, as doctor did not want me to delay beyond 12 weeks. I am thinking of getting a final ultrasound before my procedure, because the latest one i have was from week 9. But I don't know if it's a silly thing to do. I know i will be more upset and feel more heartache seeing the baby more developed at about week 12, but I thought I want a keep sake. I don't know .....
 
Hi,

I am not really having a mid term pregnancy termination. My baby is approaching 12 weeks. My husband and I are alpha thalassemia carriers. We tried ivf previously with pgd screening last year but two attempts were unsuccessful. This time I conceived naturally and did a cvs at week 10 day 4. Was hoping to be in the 75% where baby will be healthy but unfortunately we were so unlucky and baby inherited both our faulty genes. I am having d&c tomorrow, as doctor did not want me to delay beyond 12 weeks. I am thinking of getting a final ultrasound before my procedure, because the latest one i have was from week 9. But I don't know if it's a silly thing to do. I know i will be more upset and feel more heartache seeing the baby more developed at about week 12, but I thought I want a keep sake. I don't know .....

Hi chemiyogi, i terminated my pregnancy because my babywas confirmed with barts hydrop. I just see the doctor at kkh regarding about pgd too. Is the success rate not high? I understand how you must be feeling right now. I feel it’s okay to go for one last ultrasound, to see your baby for the one last time:( i took a photo of my baby after i delievered her. My parents was afraid that i will keep thinking, but i do not regret taking the photo. As this is the only memories i had with my baby. I hope you stay strong tomorrow, and hope that you will have your rainbow baby soon.
 
Hi chemiyogi, i terminated my pregnancy because my babywas confirmed with barts hydrop. I just see the doctor at kkh regarding about pgd too. Is the success rate not high? I understand how you must be feeling right now. I feel it’s okay to go for one last ultrasound, to see your baby for the one last time:( i took a photo of my baby after i delievered her. My parents was afraid that i will keep thinking, but i do not regret taking the photo. As this is the only memories i had with my baby. I hope you stay strong tomorrow, and hope that you will have your rainbow baby soon.
Hi Blurple,
Thank you for responding to my post. I am sorry that you are in a similar predicament as I am, but also relieved to be able to talk to someone who has experienced the same thing. Hope you are feeling better. I’m sure your angel baby is watching over you.

ivf success rates are typically not that high and for my age group was about 35% but i think I’m also just unlucky, like this time, sigh. I was 38 when i did ivf. I had good quality 5 day blastocysts and gd uterine lining, doc was also unable to explain why both times didn’t implant.

i did my ivf at nuh. I’m not sure if kkh has the same policies. But nuh will only screen gd quality day 3 embryos for pgd and with pgd you can only implant day 5 blastocysts. For me i harvested 12 mature eggs but only 6 fertilized. Out of the 6, they determined 4 as gd quality and were screened and only 2 were healthy, meanning no barts hydrops. So it’s a bit wasteful because under normal circumstances average quality day 3 embryos can be used and many ppl had successful outcomes with average quality day 3 embryos. So it was a bit disheartening for us that after all that effort we only had two blastocysts. So it’s really a numbers or luck game with ivf.

Do you not intend to try naturally again?
 
Hi Blurple,
Thank you for responding to my post. I am sorry that you are in a similar predicament as I am, but also relieved to be able to talk to someone who has experienced the same thing. Hope you are feeling better. I’m sure your angel baby is watching over you.

ivf success rates are typically not that high and for my age group was about 35% but i think I’m also just unlucky, like this time, sigh. I was 38 when i did ivf. I had good quality 5 day blastocysts and gd uterine lining, doc was also unable to explain why both times didn’t implant.

i did my ivf at nuh. I’m not sure if kkh has the same policies. But nuh will only screen gd quality day 3 embryos for pgd and with pgd you can only implant day 5 blastocysts. For me i harvested 12 mature eggs but only 6 fertilized. Out of the 6, they determined 4 as gd quality and were screened and only 2 were healthy, meanning no barts hydrops. So it’s a bit wasteful because under normal circumstances average quality day 3 embryos can be used and many ppl had successful outcomes with average quality day 3 embryos. So it was a bit disheartening for us that after all that effort we only had two blastocysts. So it’s really a numbers or luck game with ivf.

Do you not intend to try naturally again?

Hi chemiyogi,

Hope you will recover good and soon. My angel baby will be friends with yours, they will watch over us everywhere we go.

Thanks for explaining to me about ivf pgd. Me and my husband are still thinking about whether to conceive naturally again, but i think both of us are abit worry that lady luck is not with us again. As you know we have 25% that baby will be the barts hydrop for every pregnancy.

Hope you recover well, so that you can conceive your next baby soon. Stay strong.
 
Hi chemiyogi,

Hope you will recover good and soon. My angel baby will be friends with yours, they will watch over us everywhere we go.

Thanks for explaining to me about ivf pgd. Me and my husband are still thinking about whether to conceive naturally again, but i think both of us are abit worry that lady luck is not with us again. As you know we have 25% that baby will be the barts hydrop for every pregnancy.

Hope you recover well, so that you can conceive your next baby soon. Stay strong.
Thank you Blurple.

I’m having same concerns too though I’m thinking if we will be so unlucky two consecutive times. If you read the earlier posts, seems like many in our situations managed to have one healthy baby before they ended up in our situation. The doctor who did my cvs is in the same situation as us and he and his wife had two consecutive healthy babies. So lucky right?

May I ask is there a reason why you didn’t choose to do genetic testing earlier in the pregnancy? I tested my baby for barts at week 10+.

regardless I’m also fearful of having to terminate pregnancy again.
 
Thank you Blurple.

I’m having same concerns too though I’m thinking if we will be so unlucky two consecutive times. If you read the earlier posts, seems like many in our situations managed to have one healthy baby before they ended up in our situation. The doctor who did my cvs is in the same situation as us and he and his wife had two consecutive healthy babies. So lucky right?

May I ask is there a reason why you didn’t choose to do genetic testing earlier in the pregnancy? I tested my baby for barts at week 10+.

regardless I’m also fearful of having to terminate pregnancy again.

Hi Chemiyogi,

The doctor who did my week 20 detailed scan is also in the same situation as us and managed to have healthy babies too. I wanted to conceive naturally, but i’m really afraid that my second one will be the same. Hais.

I didn’t know i was alpha thalassemia carrier until i was pregnant. My gynae took a blood test on week 12 going 13, and the full blood count result shows that i might be suspected with alpha thalassemia carrier. Then my gynae need my husband to do a blood test too. The whole procedure (Drawing blood and waiting for the result) took us for near to 3 weeks? Then the blood test result came, and confirmed my husband is also a alpha thalassemia carrier. So my gynae took another blood test for us and send to kkh to test if we fall under the same mutation. But the whole waitinf procedure took us 1 month. By then i was already 5 months pregnant. Hais. But my gynae did say my baby is a little special also, because usually they will be able to scan that the baby has barts hydrop around week 16, but during my week 16 scan my baby looks perfect. Until week 20 detailed scan, only her heart is swollen. The rest of her body part was good. No idea if he is trying to make me feel better also la.

I’m praying everyday, that i hope this will not happened to me the second time anymore. Cos i really am very afraid. :(
 
Hi Chemiyogi,

The doctor who did my week 20 detailed scan is also in the same situation as us and managed to have healthy babies too. I wanted to conceive naturally, but i’m really afraid that my second one will be the same. Hais.

I didn’t know i was alpha thalassemia carrier until i was pregnant. My gynae took a blood test on week 12 going 13, and the full blood count result shows that i might be suspected with alpha thalassemia carrier. Then my gynae need my husband to do a blood test too. The whole procedure (Drawing blood and waiting for the result) took us for near to 3 weeks? Then the blood test result came, and confirmed my husband is also a alpha thalassemia carrier. So my gynae took another blood test for us and send to kkh to test if we fall under the same mutation. But the whole waitinf procedure took us 1 month. By then i was already 5 months pregnant. Hais. But my gynae did say my baby is a little special also, because usually they will be able to scan that the baby has barts hydrop around week 16, but during my week 16 scan my baby looks perfect. Until week 20 detailed scan, only her heart is swollen. The rest of her body part was good. No idea if he is trying to make me feel better also la.

I’m praying everyday, that i hope this will not happened to me the second time anymore. Cos i really am very afraid. :(
Hi Blurple,

I think because we experience a bad outcome on our first try, the phobia is real.

I managed to talk to another lady in our situation. She had 3 viable pregnancies and 2nd baby had barts hydrops, the other two were minor. So it’s encouraging to hear positive stories of couples in our situation who managed to have healthy babies without having to go through ivf.

i prefer natural too.after my 2 failed ivf experience, I felt it was a waste of time, effort, money and my eggs .I did one fresh one frozen cycle consecutively, I didn’t take a break in between. it took about 6 mths for two chances to try. Whereas i cld have 6 chances to try if we go natural route. When i had a chemical pregnancy it was also through natural conception. So ivf fared worse than natural in my case.

but of course if it was successful then we are spared the agony and heartpain. if you are younger, the chances of success at ivf is also higher, so it may actually be more worthwhile for you.
 
Hi all, I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and baby has Trisomy 18. We went for amniocentesis and the preliminary result confirmed Trisomy 18. We are now waiting for the full result to see if it tells us anything different or new, but the doctor says its unlikely and we should start planning for what we want to do.
My husband and I think the best option would be to terminate the pregnancy, as heartbreaking as it is. This is the second baby we have lost.
I wanted to ask if any of you can share the costs involved with the termination procedure? I looked at my NTUC hospitalisation policy and to my horror, it does not seem like I will be covered under insurance for this. They only cover if its a miscarriage or if the termination is necessary to save the mother's life. We are terribly shocked by this -it's bad enough we have to go through something so devastating, and its not like we have a real choice in the matter. Anyone can share, please?
 
Hi all, I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and baby has Trisomy 18. We went for amniocentesis and the preliminary result confirmed Trisomy 18. We are now waiting for the full result to see if it tells us anything different or new, but the doctor says its unlikely and we should start planning for what we want to do.
My husband and I think the best option would be to terminate the pregnancy, as heartbreaking as it is. This is the second baby we have lost.
I wanted to ask if any of you can share the costs involved with the termination procedure? I looked at my NTUC hospitalisation policy and to my horror, it does not seem like I will be covered under insurance for this. They only cover if its a miscarriage or if the termination is necessary to save the mother's life. We are terribly shocked by this -it's bad enough we have to go through something so devastating, and its not like we have a real choice in the matter. Anyone can share, please?
Hi Jazzy86, sorry to hear about your baby’s condition. Hope you can stay strong. I have previously stayed at TMC for my termination, the costs involved with the termination procedure cost me about $1091 (including treatment fees, medications, medical supplies, procedure and doctor fees). I had a 2 nights stayed in TMC, which costs me about $630 (Including my husband accommodation). I wasn’t able to cover from my AIA insurance, as they told me termination can’t be covered by insurance. But i can deduct a small amount from the medisave. Hope this helps you.
 
Hi all, I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and baby has Trisomy 18. We went for amniocentesis and the preliminary result confirmed Trisomy 18. We are now waiting for the full result to see if it tells us anything different or new, but the doctor says its unlikely and we should start planning for what we want to do.
My husband and I think the best option would be to terminate the pregnancy, as heartbreaking as it is. This is the second baby we have lost.
I wanted to ask if any of you can share the costs involved with the termination procedure? I looked at my NTUC hospitalisation policy and to my horror, it does not seem like I will be covered under insurance for this. They only cover if its a miscarriage or if the termination is necessary to save the mother's life. We are terribly shocked by this -it's bad enough we have to go through something so devastating, and its not like we have a real choice in the matter. Anyone can share, please?

Hi dear, hope you are able to find the small joys in life after what all that has happened. My baby was also diagnosed with T18 and we terminated the pregnancy last October. The months after were the darkest period of my life. I would say that I have moved forward and not moved on; she will always be my dear baby. PM me if you need a listening ear. The journey can be lonely but we can do better together!

Till now, months after the D&C, I still have lighter than my usual menses. Went to the gynae and was suspected with Asherman's syndrome. But thankfully, after all the checks, we have ruled that out. Maybe it's hormonal? My gynae did not order any blood test and told us to try naturally for the next 6 months first. Gynae did check that uterine lining is thin.

Anybody with similar experience after termination? How was your recovery after the surgery?
 
Hi ladies

Have been reading this thread for the past mth and wish to thank you all for "virtually accompanying" me with all your supportive words and advices through my difficult period.

My NIPT blood test showed that my baby girl tested positive for Trisomy. I also sought genetic tests and amnio with Dr Ananda. The amnio result showed that baby confirmed has T13. With a heavy heart, hb and i decided to terminate pregnancy at week 17 as baby will have many complications and unlikely to live beyond 1yo.

As my gynae was at GlenE, the cost of doing the procedure may be beyond our reach, we did the procedure at KKH instead at B2 ward. The nurses there are very nice and the first pill was inserted at 4.30pm, 2nd at around 8.30pm and 3rd at 1am. During this period i had very bad diahorrea and rushed to toilet about 12 times and was so afraid baby may slip out while i was in the toilet. The cramping pain was manageable but the diahorrea pain wasnt... as i cannot go toilet within 30mins of inserting pill ...

I was so afraid that i will have a very long labour as the maximum pill is 5 pills whereby if baby is still not out, have to start another cycle the next round.
However at 1.45am , i felt the unbearable urge to push and baby came out shortly after. My husband rushed down (no visitors as mine is 5 bedder) and we managed to say our goodbye to our baby girl and explained to her why we cannot keep her :'(

Thereafter, the nurses informed there should be no food and drinks until i am pushed to the Operating Theatre for Evacuation of Uterus. The whole process was quite quick (20mins) and relatively painless. I was discharged the very afternoon.

Although the process was a mentally & emotionally painful one, I am grateful for all the support i have. The nurses were attentive and patient, my husband and our families were also supportive and understanding.
After i do my mini-confinment, hope to have our first baby soon. Jiayou ladies who also experienced MidTerm loss. Lets be positive and i am sure we will have our rainbow babies soon!! QUOTE]

How many days of hospital leave were you given?
 
Can I check with you all, for mid termination by medial induction to deliver the fetus in kkh, how long does the hospital gave you for hospital leave? I am under subsidized by the way
 
Hi dear, hope you are able to find the small joys in life after what all that has happened. My baby was also diagnosed with T18 and we terminated the pregnancy last October. The months after were the darkest period of my life. I would say that I have moved forward and not moved on; she will always be my dear baby. PM me if you need a listening ear. The journey can be lonely but we can do better together!

Till now, months after the D&C, I still have lighter than my usual menses. Went to the gynae and was suspected with Asherman's syndrome. But thankfully, after all the checks, we have ruled that out. Maybe it's hormonal? My gynae did not order any blood test and told us to try naturally for the next 6 months first. Gynae did check that uterine lining is thin.

Anybody with similar experience after termination? How was your recovery after the surgery?

Hi Jodi08, thanks for your kind words. It has only been about 3 weeks and the pain is still very fresh. I have stopped bleeding, and my gynae did a scan and said everything looks normal. I have to see now whether my period comes normally. I do still have pain in my lower abdomen but the doctor says thats normal s the uterus contracts to its original size.

To respond to some of the other queries, I was given 1 month hospitalisation leave, but my doctor offered to extend it if I want.
 
Hi, just to check early mid trimester termination, how long of HL will hospital give?

1 month HL, but the gynae asked how much I wanted, could go to 2 months etc easily. Mainly for emotional healing less physical, could do most things day after.
 
Can I check with you all, for mid termination by medial induction to deliver the fetus in kkh, how long does the hospital gave you for hospital leave? I am under subsidized by the way
Hi sorry for the delay replying.
kkh gave me 2 weeks only
But i guess if u require longer, can request to extend
 
Hi sorry for the delay replying.
kkh gave me 2 weeks only
But i guess if u require longer, can request to extend

Ahh thanks, I requested for longer HL and they gave me three weeks till my follow up appointment and if need to then can extend from there
 
hi all, I have gone through the mid trimester termination last week due to trisomy 21 and currently on my confinement.. the L&D process was traumatising, I stayed for 6 days / 5 nights in the end but the physically pain was gone almost immediately after delivering my baby. We went through cremation and sea burial for closure, our baby boy is happily and healthy in heaven now.

For all the ladies who are in this situation or went through, I am so sorry that you are going through this.. but please stay strong, be positive and I believe our rainbow baby will come soon!
 
Ahh thanks, I requested for longer HL and they gave me three weeks till my follow up appointment and if need to then can extend from there

thats good to hear they gave you longer HL. Please rest well n do a mini confinement if possible. Take care and be positive!
 
hi all, I have gone through the mid trimester termination last week due to trisomy 21 and currently on my confinement.. the L&D process was traumatising, I stayed for 6 days / 5 nights in the end but the physically pain was gone almost immediately after delivering my baby. We went through cremation and sea burial for closure, our baby boy is happily and healthy in heaven now.

For all the ladies who are in this situation or went through, I am so sorry that you are going through this.. but please stay strong, be positive and I believe our rainbow baby will come soon!
Oh no! 6 days and 5 nights sounds terrible. Why was it so long? Must have been such an ordeal. Hope you're recovering well.
 


Oh no! 6 days and 5 nights sounds terrible. Why was it so long? Must have been such an ordeal. Hope you're recovering well.
Yeah. Thanks, I’m recovering well now.. I had three rounds of pills inserted. And then had an injection into the womb.. lost a lot of blood when giving birth did d&c to clear placenta, almost fainted and stayed one more night to recover.. doc and nurses said my case is like once in a blue moon. I hope nobody here will need to go through what I went through..
 

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