Dear elise31,
I'm sorry to learn about what happened.My heart goes out to you & your family.It's going to be a tough time for you.I lost Chloe 4 years ago,and until today,I still think of her EVERYDAY.After 5 pregnancies and only 2 successful ones,I am a mother to 2 boys.
Like your case,mine was totally unexpected.I woke up one day to find that my baby died.That's it! And it changed my whole life.No one can understand that sort of piercing pain when I see friends' kids. For abt 1 whole year,I tried and tried and longed so badly for a child of my own. Along the way,we lost a few friends ,but I also gained some new friendships.This is how life changing the whole episode is! When I was pregnant with my 1st son,paranoia set in.I even.bought a home doppler to monitor the baby's heartbeat many many times a day.Sleeping seems like a crime,as I do not know if I wake up the next morn,will my baby still be alive.to keep myself awake for as long as possible as night (when it was close to the time I lost Chloe),I'll read and read and read until I am exhausted.4 hours of sleep nightly was already a scary thought.this was the same case when I was pregnant with my 2nd son.I will do anything to ensure my baby is alive,though I know deep down inside that all these are beyond mine & my gynae's control.my gynae saw me weekly in the 1st & last trimester.
When I lost Chloe,I didn't have any kids then,so I am not sure how to advise you coz you still have 2 boys who needs you.I cried every single day.and till today,when I think of Chloe,I still cry.those friends whom we lost never understood the kind of pain.it's unlike a miscarriage where it happens to 25% of the cases.I had 2 miscarriages and it hardly affected me as I accept it's a natural selection process.but a loss in 3rd trimester? I am nearly a mother already,and this role just slipped away suddenly.
I really feel for you,as you were already in labour.You will never forget,but you will move on.it takes time to move on,but you will,one day.it's when this one day will come.it took me about 1 year to move on.it's a gradual process and those new found friends who unfortunately also went thru what we went thru,were really pillars of support.
Give yourself time,lots of it.cry if you must.I cry silently in the night,usually when I'm alone at the computer or reading.come in here to share your thoughts if you must.block out all comments like,"you already have 2 kids" or " you can try again".
Losing a child is unloke losing a parent/sibling/relative.at least with those people,you already spent time with them and did stuff with them.losing an unborn child is like losing all hopes,all dreams.you didn't even have a chance to experience life with him/her,didn't have a chance to do all the rings you imagined/talked about doing wirh him/her.though some closer relatives understood my pain fr the agony showed on my face,I think the intensity of pain they understood was only 10%.only someone like us can totally comprehend this senseless pain.
You will see the light at the end of the tunnel one day.it's only when your one day will come.take care
I'm sorry to learn about what happened.My heart goes out to you & your family.It's going to be a tough time for you.I lost Chloe 4 years ago,and until today,I still think of her EVERYDAY.After 5 pregnancies and only 2 successful ones,I am a mother to 2 boys.
Like your case,mine was totally unexpected.I woke up one day to find that my baby died.That's it! And it changed my whole life.No one can understand that sort of piercing pain when I see friends' kids. For abt 1 whole year,I tried and tried and longed so badly for a child of my own. Along the way,we lost a few friends ,but I also gained some new friendships.This is how life changing the whole episode is! When I was pregnant with my 1st son,paranoia set in.I even.bought a home doppler to monitor the baby's heartbeat many many times a day.Sleeping seems like a crime,as I do not know if I wake up the next morn,will my baby still be alive.to keep myself awake for as long as possible as night (when it was close to the time I lost Chloe),I'll read and read and read until I am exhausted.4 hours of sleep nightly was already a scary thought.this was the same case when I was pregnant with my 2nd son.I will do anything to ensure my baby is alive,though I know deep down inside that all these are beyond mine & my gynae's control.my gynae saw me weekly in the 1st & last trimester.
When I lost Chloe,I didn't have any kids then,so I am not sure how to advise you coz you still have 2 boys who needs you.I cried every single day.and till today,when I think of Chloe,I still cry.those friends whom we lost never understood the kind of pain.it's unlike a miscarriage where it happens to 25% of the cases.I had 2 miscarriages and it hardly affected me as I accept it's a natural selection process.but a loss in 3rd trimester? I am nearly a mother already,and this role just slipped away suddenly.
I really feel for you,as you were already in labour.You will never forget,but you will move on.it takes time to move on,but you will,one day.it's when this one day will come.it took me about 1 year to move on.it's a gradual process and those new found friends who unfortunately also went thru what we went thru,were really pillars of support.
Give yourself time,lots of it.cry if you must.I cry silently in the night,usually when I'm alone at the computer or reading.come in here to share your thoughts if you must.block out all comments like,"you already have 2 kids" or " you can try again".
Losing a child is unloke losing a parent/sibling/relative.at least with those people,you already spent time with them and did stuff with them.losing an unborn child is like losing all hopes,all dreams.you didn't even have a chance to experience life with him/her,didn't have a chance to do all the rings you imagined/talked about doing wirh him/her.though some closer relatives understood my pain fr the agony showed on my face,I think the intensity of pain they understood was only 10%.only someone like us can totally comprehend this senseless pain.
You will see the light at the end of the tunnel one day.it's only when your one day will come.take care