I found this thread while trying to seek support online. I am still hurting from my husband’s infidelity. I know I may not get a reply on this but I thought this would be an outlet for me.
3 days before my 30th birthday (I thought it would be special but never thought it would be the worst), I happened to find out that he had visited prostitutes since my second trimester. When I found out, he was messaging the “PRC” asking for an appointment. That was already 2 months after I gave birth. He even went after I gave birth. He told me that the reason is solely because we were not having sex. He said that he did hint that he has problems but couldn’t tell anyone about it (i.e. no sex). I can’t understand- I was expecting and then after delivery, my body was still healing. I trusted him so much. He wanted a kid and when I was pregnant with his kid that he wanted, he cheated on me throughout. I am extremely heartbroken. He said that he will agree if I wanted a divorce and if I wanted to take our kid away with me. We have been together for almost a decade and I really cannot understand why he would do this to me. He said that it was a stupid mistake but to me, it wasn’t. He went back to cheat time and time again.
There was too much at stake; we are waiting for our hdb flat and I don’t want our kid to grow up in a broken family. I decided to hold on to this marriage. he promised me he would be there if I needed to talk. Initially, he was patient. But two months down, he doesn’t seem to care anymore when I am unhappy thinking about it. In fact, I feel that he sounds sick of me being unhappy about it.
His birthday was around the corner and he told me not to get him anything because he doesn’t deserve it. I thought of getting him a gift but all the bad memories came back so strongly and I didn’t get him anything this year. In the end, he was upset with me for days and was cold to me for not getting him anything. He said that I knew it was important to him but I didn’t do it. I want to ask him why did he cheat since he knew I would be hurt? I want to ask him is not getting a present worse than being cheated on? He doesn’t seem to show anymore concern for my feelings. I can’t tell him how I feel because it may likely just end up with a quarrel. I cry myself to sleep these nights. Almost every waking moment I’m burdened by this and I can’t even look after my kid wholeheartedly and I really hate him for that.
i am contemplating going for counselling to help myself to cope but can’t bring myself to take the first step out yet. I can’t tell anyone because since we decided to move on, it will not do good to publicise this. I have never felt so lonely in my life. now whenever he comes back from work, I feel another wave of sadness when I see him. It is really really hard for me. This marriage is starting to feel meaningless for me. He seems to have moved on and I wish he cared that I haven’t.
p-k ,You are 30 still young, why do you want to waste your time with him?
You have to help yourself ,stop thinking if not will become depression.
Leave him, ask your parent / relatives to help care the baby ,find a job and save up $, you can apply Hdb with your child in future.
Or divorce , you has the child custody, ask him give up the flat.Court will grant you.
Don’t share custody with him.
If he doesn’t care to support baby then done cut him off totally.
Anyway he already said he doesn’t mind divorce and doesn’t mind you take the baby. Don’t think he will support the child till 21 years old.
Why hold on to someone who doesn’t value your tears?
Why do you want such a dirty man to be your child father?
Anytime he may bring home sex disease or any kind of sickness back.
And I dun think you want him to touch you.
If you continue with him , next 10 , 20 ,30 yrs you will regret why you didn’t divorce when you were young.
By then you become old and life is ruin.
Such a man will get his Karma.
I know a man who has cheated his wife 20 yrs, went prostitute till he has prostate cancer, suffer 8 years then died at 61.
If one day your husband gets his karma, has prostate cancer , are your love so great that you don’t mind to take care him?Support him? Bring him chemo?
Lift up your head, you have done nothing wrong.
He has destroyed the marriage, family and your trust.
Why do you feel disgrace or worry let others know what kind of person he was?
Be strong. Leave your hate to Karma.