audrey, reading through some of the old posts, can really relate to your situation.....
My hb cheated on me with a coworker exactly 3 years ago last week. the slut was married but hb was on 6m overseas assignment. few days after the affair started, he told me he wants to leave. i did not find out that he was cheating till in july when he went on a biz trip which turned out to be a hols with the slut. The 2 of them rented an apt and moved out together in aug. During the 3-4m, my hb said a lot of hurtful and cruel things to me, was an awful father to the kids. I cried and begged him not to do this but it probably made it even better for him. i couldnt sleep and couldnt eat, lost 10kg in 1m. Once i was done crying, i started making plans to d and apply for maintenance at the family court. at the end of august, he uturn and asked to come back. i let him come back for the kids' sake but my heart is dead. one week after he came back, the slut found out she's pg. i believe this was planned by the slut to trap him. she thought if she is pg, it will seal the deal and he would leave us for good. he was wishy washy once he found out and made life very painful for me. all the qn i asked, always answered dont know. broke my trust further by having lunch with the slut, bring her to dr etc when he promised me it will only be work necessary contact. by the end of sept i had enough and told him we are still legally separated, and we can just sign the d paper in 20m. he finally made it clear to her. she thought he will go back to her when he broke it off in aug, only when he made it clear in sept then she went nuts. sms him, begging, anger, threats, want to kill herself, all kind of patterns.
the slut's hb divorced her, she wanted to keep the bastard cos she think that will make my hb go back to her. the bastard is 2yo now.
except for those 4m, he has always been a good father. i dont want my kids to grow up without a father, it is mentally torturing for me daily when i think of the things that happened and things he said. i keep telling myself to tahan till kids grow up then i will have my own life. i go about work and home smiling while my inside is dying. take the chance to cry when i need to in the shower. my kids tell me they are happy, that we are one happy family. i cannot put my own happiness before theirs, so this is my life, the path i chose.