Support group for wives with unfaithful husbands

your_attorney

Active Member
Singapore marriage law is consider tighter than other country which have rules such as only allow to divorce after 3 years of marriage, HDB only can sell after 5 years, etc.. Having strong measures will discourage in certain extend but it will also cause the victim in a longer suffering situations. We are stuck in this toxic marriage because of all the measures and hv to wait for the right time to file divorce.

If a marriage need to be borned by rules and regulations, then what's true love with true heart? When there are more rules, the more people don't want to follow. They will try all ways to find loop hole unless they are determine in heart. Just my two cents of thoughts
Maybe that is why love is blind. When you love someone, you think he/she is the one.

LKY time, there are a lot of rules and regulation, I think we did well. Looking back, we think he did well too.
 


your_attorney

Active Member
I believe god will protect good people.. 狗男女 like them won’t last long..
Confirm god will step in but depending on when god decides to step in.
My gf's ex hubby lost his affair partner and job after he sign the divorce papers. He was staying with his brother and he got kicked out too. Whatever my gf suffered, he suffered just as much. Karma.
 
Singapore marriage law is consider tighter than other country which have rules such as only allow to divorce after 3 years of marriage, HDB only can sell after 5 years, etc.. Having strong measures will discourage in certain extend but it will also cause the victim in a longer suffering situations. We are stuck in this toxic marriage because of all the measures and hv to wait for the right time to file divorce.

If a marriage need to be borned by rules and regulations, then what's true love with true heart? When there are more rules, the more people don't want to follow. They will try all ways to find loop hole unless they are determine in heart. Just my two cents of thoughts
if there is no rules or regulations then more people will be irresponsible. giving birth to children and simply doesnt wan to take care of them.

jumping from one partners to another without concern of the consequence of divorce.
 

ImNotMean

New Member
We believe 好心有好报... 人在做,天在看..
it’s easy to get married but when it come to divorce it’s so difficult.. need to wait and wait.. have anyone think of meeting up ladies to team up and go confront 3rd party? :cool: Have anyone slap the 3rd party before? I really feel like give my hub 3rd party one good slap.. this kind of bitch like them think of (he got wife and children still come look for me) if we don’t do something they think they feel PROUD!
 

sadgirl85

New Member
We believe 好心有好报... 人在做,天在看..
it’s easy to get married but when it come to divorce it’s so difficult.. need to wait and wait.. have anyone think of meeting up ladies to team up and go confront 3rd party? :cool: Have anyone slap the 3rd party before? I really feel like give my hub 3rd party one good slap.. this kind of bitch like them think of (he got wife and children still come look for me) if we don’t do something they think they feel PROUD!
i think no point to confront he 3rd party...ultimately it takes 2 hands to clap..if really cannot salvage and the hb doesnt want to change, divorce is the best option.
 

ImNotMean

New Member
i think no point to confront he 3rd party...ultimately it takes 2 hands to clap..if really cannot salvage and the hb doesnt want to change, divorce is the best option.
Thinking of going marriage counselling.. but I think he won’t go because (1. haven go say no use.. 2. scare shame telling people what he have done) he if doesn’t want to work in our marriage.. why am I putting effort into it.. :( he didn’t even tell me what’s our problem and this come so suddenly..
 

your_attorney

Active Member
i think no point to confront he 3rd party...ultimately it takes 2 hands to clap..if really cannot salvage and the hb doesnt want to change, divorce is the best option.
Many people think that by not confronting the 3rd party is the best way forward. The truth is the society does need some cleanup.

I believe this generation where many women are working, we no longer need to depend on men greatly. I believe the newer generation women will confront the 3rd party (at workplace, her home, public) without hesitation. If she dares to be 3rd party, it also means she is prepared to be confronted, clapped, verbally abused in public. Singapore is a small country, it is not a place to play such games in the dark. (I have heard of girls who are **** buddy and get passed around the circle of guy friends. It's very sad and I think these girls are mentally or emotionally unwell. They definitely need to seek help.)

No girl with the right mind will think it is correct to be attached (or become friends with benefit) with a married man who has a wife and children. No husband who love their wife and children will do this to hurt them. A man will do this because they are loser, trying to prove their worth through their dick.

Our society will become more and more open, such news will be more and more common on social media, words of mouth, in our industry. The more people wants to hide it, the more people will know and expose it.
 

your_attorney

Active Member
May I suggest you be the lady you were before marriage.

1. What were you like before marriage? Do you like to go out with your friends, do you like to go facial or shopping?

2. What about your size/shape? Have you put on weight after giving birth? Do you think you want to slim down? Have you thought of exercising to slim down? (I do recommend brisk walking and running till you sweat). Sweating makes us feel good. And when you slim down, you feel good and look good.

3. For household chores, do you have a domestic helper to help you? Have you considered getting one if you don't have one. If you are currently a stay at home mum, try to find a job. Use the money to hire a helper.

4. Whatever he is saying now, just listen but don't act. Unless you see them with your own 2 eyes, don't act. If you really see them, go up and pull her hair and give her 1 tight slap across.

5. Whenever you are angry, ask yourself whether you can still hang on for children or not. The day you go up to 3rd party to find her at office/home, you must be prepared to let go of your hubby. And when you go up to 3rdparty at her office/home, you might as well make your way to hubby's office too. There is no more difference as it would be the end anyway. If their love is so strong and the girl is prepared to be labelled as 3rd party, they may survive it.

Lastly, this is not your fault and you are not unwanted.

Your husband (东西臭了,苍蝇特别多)is already rotten, that's why there are so many flies (3rd party). Only rotten food and flies can blend together.

Don't lower yourself to be in the same class as them. 门当户对很重要。
 
May I suggest you be the lady you were before marriage.

1. What were you like before marriage? Do you like to go out with your friends, do you like to go facial or shopping?

2. What about your size/shape? Have you put on weight after giving birth? Do you think you want to slim down? Have you thought of exercising to slim down? (I do recommend brisk walking and running till you sweat). Sweating makes us feel good. And when you slim down, you feel good and look good.

3. For household chores, do you have a domestic helper to help you? Have you considered getting one if you don't have one. If you are currently a stay at home mum, try to find a job. Use the money to hire a helper.

4. Whatever he is saying now, just listen but don't act. Unless you see them with your own 2 eyes, don't act. If you really see them, go up and pull her hair and give her 1 tight slap across.

5. Whenever you are angry, ask yourself whether you can still hang on for children or not. The day you go up to 3rd party to find her at office/home, you must be prepared to let go of your hubby. And when you go up to 3rdparty at her office/home, you might as well make your way to hubby's office too. There is no more difference as it would be the end anyway. If their love is so strong and the girl is prepared to be labelled as 3rd party, they may survive it.

Lastly, this is not your fault and you are not unwanted.

Your husband (东西臭了,苍蝇特别多)is already rotten, that's why there are so many flies (3rd party). Only rotten food and flies can blend together.

Don't lower yourself to be in the same class as them. 门当户对很重要。
how to go back to before marriage. age will catch up with everyone. no matter how you make yourself to be slimmer or how much botox. how you compare with a lady that is much younger???

if a man wan to change heart, nothing cant stop him.
you go out with friend to much, they will make noise and if you want to employ a maid, they will say you wasting his money!
 

your_attorney

Active Member
how to go back to before marriage. age will catch up with everyone. no matter how you make yourself to be slimmer or how much botox. how you compare with a lady that is much younger???

if a man wan to change heart, nothing cant stop him.
you go out with friend to much, they will make noise and if you want to employ a maid, they will say you wasting his money!
I think the point is not to compare yourself with the other woman. She has youth, but you have experience and class (you are not brought up wrongly)

Yes you are correct, if the man change heart, nothing can stop him. If you don't try to win him back, he will seriously not even think twice or regret his decision.

I don't think there is anything wrong with women having "me time". If he doesn't want to waste money then he has to help with the chores and kids. These days, it's quite fair in terms of equality. Our parents sent boys as well as girls to school. Don't make waste money as an excuse for him to find excitement outside. And don't make waste money as an excuse for yourself to self destruct.

I sincerely hope the best for you. What I am suggesting is to love yourself (self love) more. Pamper yourself a little. Think about your parents who love you and give you the best. All I am asking you to do is to give yourself the same.
 

yellowbella26

New Member
Hi I hope this forum is still opens for infidelity support. My husband had been cheating multiple times. The latest one happened for few months this year and I caught it when it already ended.
I am lost for words and I feel like I don't want to feel anymore.

I'm not sure if it happened to any of you, but ever since the first divorce, I have been isolating more because I am ashamed with my life. This puts me in a very lonely situation and very few perspective.
The only reason I am not going to divorce is because I haven't tried counselling and I will be alone in Singapore if I do leave husband. I hope I can get a bit of insight, support or any advice from you
 

Stansy

Member
Hi I hope this forum is still opens for infidelity support. My husband had been cheating multiple times. The latest one happened for few months this year and I caught it when it already ended.
I am lost for words and I feel like I don't want to feel anymore.

I'm not sure if it happened to any of you, but ever since the first divorce, I have been isolating more because I am ashamed with my life. This puts me in a very lonely situation and very few perspective.
The only reason I am not going to divorce is because I haven't tried counselling and I will be alone in Singapore if I do leave husband. I hope I can get a bit of insight, support or any advice from you
Do you mean that this second hubby of yours cheated?
 

Tammyisup

Member
Hi I hope this forum is still opens for infidelity support. My husband had been cheating multiple times. The latest one happened for few months this year and I caught it when it already ended.
I am lost for words and I feel like I don't want to feel anymore.

I'm not sure if it happened to any of you, but ever since the first divorce, I have been isolating more because I am ashamed with my life. This puts me in a very lonely situation and very few perspective.
The only reason I am not going to divorce is because I haven't tried counselling and I will be alone in Singapore if I do leave husband. I hope I can get a bit of insight, support or any advice from you
Sad to hear what happened. Counselling only works if both wish to reconcile and put in effort together.. If you are the only one that wants to hold on to the relationship, then couple/marriage counselling probably not helpful.
What's your challenge being alone in Singapore?
 

Dr. Tooth

Active Member
I'm not sure if it happened to any of you, but ever since the first divorce, I have been isolating more because I am ashamed with my life. This puts me in a very lonely situation and very few perspective.
The only reason I am not going to divorce is because I haven't tried counselling and I will be alone in Singapore if I do leave husband. I hope I can get a bit of insight, support or any advice from you
One of the reasons for isolating yourself could be because you are going through a transformation now. In simple term, it means getting to know yourself more at a deeper level. It may even leads you to be questioning yourself in many different aspects of your life.

And you don't have to feel alone. You are just not used to getting about life doing things that make you happy on your own. :)
 

yellowbella26

New Member
Do you mean that this second hubby of yours cheated?
This is multiple times already.

Sad to hear what happened. Counselling only works if both wish to reconcile and put in effort together.. If you are the only one that wants to hold on to the relationship, then couple/marriage counselling probably not helpful.
What's your challenge being alone in Singapore?
Thank you for this insight. I agree about that. We both must want to hold the relationship. We are now hashing out what is a marriage as it had always been dysfunctional. He now said he wanted to go for counselling but I'm not sure of the entirety of it all. Challenge - I have to restart my life. It could be a good thing but it's scary too. Maybe I need to explore on that thought.

One of the reasons for isolating yourself could be because you are going through a transformation now. In simple term, it means getting to know yourself more at a deeper level. It may even leads you to be questioning yourself in many different aspects of your life.

And you don't have to feel alone. You are just not used to getting about life doing things that make you happy on your own. :)
Thank you for this! Maybe I am in the right direction after all, transforming to be someone I should be even in difficult time.
I initially just wanted to share my life but sharing my life in this marriage was so destructive. I sometimes don't know how to live day by day. But I'm doing my best. So thank you for all the replies!
 

ImNotMean

New Member
This is multiple times already.



Thank you for this insight. I agree about that. We both must want to hold the relationship. We are now hashing out what is a marriage as it had always been dysfunctional. He now said he wanted to go for counselling but I'm not sure of the entirety of it all. Challenge - I have to restart my life. It could be a good thing but it's scary too. Maybe I need to explore on that thought.



Thank you for this! Maybe I am in the right direction after all, transforming to be someone I should be even in difficult time.
I initially just wanted to share my life but sharing my life in this marriage was so destructive. I sometimes don't know how to live day by day. But I'm doing my best. So thank you for all the replies!
Hello, you’re not alone.. don’t feel it that way.. jia you!
 

Tammyisup

Member
Don't worry. We all been through it.. I'm not local too, I'm a Malaysian with spore PR, moved to spore because of him and settled down. My family is not with me in spore.

But this doesn't stop me from leaving him after what he did to me. I tried giving him chances but he didn't appreciate any of it.. Agree with Dr tooth, you just not used to it. Take sometime and meet the you that hidden and changed for years.

Learn to live with yourself and love yourself. We always forget this part and keep giving in/contributing and forget ourselves. Stay strong!

Everyone can live without anyone one!
 

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