Sexless Marriage


Ladies,

What about before your marriages? Was it this infrequent too?

This is an important information to try finding out what might be the root cause(s).
 
my husband is a conservative guy no sex before marriage, after marriage he don't enjoy sex as he experience pain when his foreskin being retracted.
 
hmmm im really shocked..i didnt know a marriage without sex exist..

hows the relationship.. have u both talk to hubby abt it? so whats ur thoughts on this??
 
i find it surprising too... but if is mutual, then i dun think marriage will be affected. If is some other phychological problems, might wana see doc.
 
I am shocked too...if it bothers the other partner then something might be wrong...if the couple is ok with that..maybe it works for them...i wonder how they communicate intimacy? As far as i know men is very sexual ... sex is one of there basic needs...i might be wrong...
 
for me, i never knew a man who do not like intimacy. is nothing to shy about, as is part and parcel of life and renewal..
 
sexless marriage is getting common.

For men, there are three main common reasons.

1. having an affair (or visiting prostitutes)

2. work/family pressure (men face it all the time)

3. having sex with other men (I know it is unbelieveable. There are many married men having sex with men)
 
me too, i am a man whose sex life is very limited and nothing much i can do. Married for 10 year, average sex per year less than 10 times.

so what reasons will that be ...
 
Hi Lau, You are not alone. I am surprised to hear that men dun like sxx! Normally, it is the woman who reject sxx. What Jolyon said also quite true although i dun really agree on the pressure part. I though sx can be used as a form of pressure release, thus all the more human beings should want it instead of rejecting it....
 
is there any problem with the marriage...just try to move on first..read some magazine to know what to do....best magazine cosmopolitan!
 
Wish i can have a marriage with no sex... Or sex just to have kids n when mission accomplish no sex again. Or mayb once every one-two mths..
Sadly men i met r all creatures who thinks with lower body.. Hais.
 
I will say high probability is a No unless like what Jolyon says. I am the one who is always pestering my wife for sex. Not trying to scare u but it may be your hubby is having someone outside or it may be really due to have medical problem. If so, better ask him to see a doctor, It may be helpful if you try to be more sexy.
 
Hi,I'm new here.. When man start to lose interest in having sex,we wives better do something rather than just let it be. To me,it's like a wake up call!!
It happens to me before but now I try to prevent it! He doesn't make the first move,I GO!! Oops! I'm sorry if I'm Too valgur..
 
My last post was in apr 2011. The sexless situation was getting worse and we divorced.

Recently, i remarried and sex is great with my new found partner.

My life is on track now and in love with flames!!!!
 
If you are that desperate. I suggest you try kechara love chakras KURUKULLE (Red Tara)
As it attracts love, improve relationship and romance. You'll benefit a lot from this. I bought mine from this site. >>>> vajrasecrets.com/tibetan-chakras.html
 
<font color="#000066">There are many reasons for "sexless marriage". Below are the <font color="#FF0000">three common ones</font> (of course, there are many reasons).

No.1 Husband has erectile dysfunction (ED) - 身理因素。跟压力没有直接关系。He may look healthy but he could be suffering from ED. It is very hard to cure ED.
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No.2 Husband has disease - He could be a Hepatitis B and/or Herpes or other STD carrier. Herpes is not as deadly as HIV but it is still cause destructive to a certain stage. Yet, many women and men do not know they have it. Such sickness certainly no cure for it.
sad.gif


No.3 Husband is a Bi or Gay - He has no idea about marriage or being forced to get married. Despite of this, it is unbelievable and extremely common to see <u>married men having affair with other men</u>! I am afraid, Singapore is one of the worst developed countries to have this headache issue. Still, they are tell-tales signs whether husband is one or not.
sad.gif


I am sharing the above based on my experience (including people I've met and interacted). Probably, there are women who can't accept my views and please do not get upset with my post.
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Glad i found this thread. Similiar to beebuzz's situation and reason, spent more than 10 years in a sexless and childless marriage.
Tried giving and asking for a hug or a perk on cheek as an alternative but hubby says he is not into such things. Am i wrong in wanting to inject some passion into a sexless marriage? Yet he says he is not into these kind of hugging stuff. Sometimes i wonder what happened to the person whom i had dated.
I had initiated several arguements due to this and as a result he says he cant keep up with my expectations anymore. He feels that i am being incorrigeable and is feeling very tired with my nonsenses.
I feel that we are more like flatmates than couple.
 
Wander how many ppl quietly resort to other solution when their spouse refuse intimacy. I am on the verge of depression. 19 years in a marriage and my wife only consummate with me twice resulting in 2 daughters. For past 18 years we have been sleeping in separate rooms. I am seriously considering to leave her when my youngest daughter is old enough to take the impact. Currently they are 18 and 15 years old.
 
Wander how many ppl quietly resort to other solution when their spouse refuse intimacy. I am on the verge of depression. 19 years in a marriage and my wife only consummate with me twice resulting in 2 daughters. For past 18 years we have been sleeping in separate rooms. I am seriously considering to leave her when my youngest daughter is old enough to take the impact. Currently they are 18 and 15 years old.

have you talked to your wife ? or visit a counsellor? twice in 19 years is really shocking to me. But then again if its been 19 years then i'm pretty sure you know what the underlying problem is...

"old enough to take the impact".. i get what you mean but even in their 20s, children can be affected by divorce. i hope you can get through this
 
possible cause,
1) she only make use of me to give her a comfortable life but will never give anything in return, she has never fulfill her duty to do housework or duty to the children. I have her a maid for 14 years and when I stop 5 years ago, she never help to do any housework, she has never love me since day 1
2) she has lesbian tendency, when she talk to other ladies, her body language give all the signs

I get so lonely sometime that I begin to make platonic lady friend but she exaggerate the situation by telling the children I have affairs.

Now she, me and my 2 daughter lived in a very toxic setting, where we treat each other's as flatmate with no emotion. I told my children to move out when they are ready since her mother is not a good person. I am prepared to leave her for destroying my relationship with my children.
 
Ouch. I don't know what to say mate. I wish you all the best! I am not sure I could have lasted as long as you... that's for sure! You must really love your kids.

possible cause,
1) she only make use of me to give her a comfortable life but will never give anything in return, she has never fulfill her duty to do housework or duty to the children. I have her a maid for 14 years and when I stop 5 years ago, she never help to do any housework, she has never love me since day 1
2) she has lesbian tendency, when she talk to other ladies, her body language give all the signs

I get so lonely sometime that I begin to make platonic lady friend but she exaggerate the situation by telling the children I have affairs.

Now she, me and my 2 daughter lived in a very toxic setting, where we treat each other's as flatmate with no emotion. I told my children to move out when they are ready since her mother is not a good person. I am prepared to leave her for destroying my relationship with my children.
 
possible cause,
1) she only make use of me to give her a comfortable life but will never give anything in return, she has never fulfill her duty to do housework or duty to the children. I have her a maid for 14 years and when I stop 5 years ago, she never help to do any housework, she has never love me since day 1
2) she has lesbian tendency, when she talk to other ladies, her body language give all the signs

I get so lonely sometime that I begin to make platonic lady friend but she exaggerate the situation by telling the children I have affairs.

Now she, me and my 2 daughter lived in a very toxic setting, where we treat each other's as flatmate with no emotion. I told my children to move out when they are ready since her mother is not a good person. I am prepared to leave her for destroying my relationship with my children.

i hate to say it but from the way i see it, there is no point in trying to stay in a marriage that doesn't bring you any good. i think you have suffered for too long.

this is just my 2 cents.. since you are alr prepared to leave her, you should start talking to divorce lawyers soon so you get a sense of things
 
have you talked to your wife ? or visit a counsellor? twice in 19 years is really shocking to me. But then again if its been 19 years then i'm pretty sure you know what the underlying problem is...

"old enough to take the impact".. i get what you mean but even in their 20s, children can be affected by divorce. i hope you can get through this

Bring yr wife to a plc she like, only u & her. Ask a relative to take care of yr daughters. I belief, thigs wil b fine.
 
Have tried various way to create the mood including singing, candle light dinner, buying gift, but it's always at the critical moment she will bring out her complains about me then using that as an excuse to blow off all the effort. I think my sacrifice has reach the tipping point threshold where I am totally numb to all emotional needs. There was a period of time 4 years ago where I find myself crying for 6 months when I'm alone driving or in the bath. I have reach the point where I feel my wife betray our marriage vow, poison my children mind to hate me and make me their perpetual in-house maid. I warn my children that once they clear 18 years old, I will initiate separation because I do not want to affect their studies, I am not sure if Singapore law provide protection for ppl like me. Will the judge believe my story ? When my kids still respect me I can endure any hardship but now they start to side their mom and abuse me. Accusing me of adultery with no real evidence. That really is a wake up call for me that I cannot trust anyone not even my own kids. I may just pack my bags and ride into the sunset in another country. Now I warn my children don't marry unless you know how to love a person.
 
Have tried various way to create the mood including singing, candle light dinner, buying gift, but it's always at the critical moment she will bring out her complains about me then using that as an excuse to blow off all the effort. I think my sacrifice has reach the tipping point threshold where I am totally numb to all emotional needs. There was a period of time 4 years ago where I find myself crying for 6 months when I'm alone driving or in the bath. I have reach the point where I feel my wife betray our marriage vow, poison my children mind to hate me and make me their perpetual in-house maid. I warn my children that once they clear 18 years old, I will initiate separation because I do not want to affect their studies, I am not sure if Singapore law provide protection for ppl like me. Will the judge believe my story ? When my kids still respect me I can endure any hardship but now they start to side their mom and abuse me. Accusing me of adultery with no real evidence. That really is a wake up call for me that I cannot trust anyone not even my own kids. I may just pack my bags and ride into the sunset in another country. Now I warn my children don't marry unless you know how to love a person.

Pls always consider yr kids. Try 2 understd wat she wan. Put yrself in her position, tink mre ask yr frens 4 advice. As always remember, you bth come 2gether 4 a reason. Y u bth decided 2 b 2gether is oso a reason. Den y tinkin of divorce nw?
 
Pls always consider yr kids. Try 2 understd wat she wan. Put yrself in her position, tink mre ask yr frens 4 advice. As always remember, you bth come 2gether 4 a reason. Y u bth decided 2 b 2gether is oso a reason. Den y tinkin of divorce nw?

Since bth of u did nothin wrong. There sure a way to make fresh again
 
My husband says he's too tired/stress from work. Sex for us has been going downhill since we decided to go for ivf treatment about 3 years back. It did result in a baby boy for us, but ever since then, 0 sex. I just went for my 2nd ivf since I still have some frozen embryos left and didn't want to waste them. However, I can't help feeling that this whole process seems like shopping for a baby as we didn't even actively try for one. I can't help feeling sad and frustrated as it seems that my husband is no longer interested in me except for the occasional touch and hug.
 
my husband is a conservative guy no sex before marriage, after marriage he don't enjoy sex as he experience pain when his foreskin being retracted.

tell him to adjust his foreskin before inserting. At times, its just due to the sudden jerking of the foreskin that got him feeling uncomfy. Otherwise, it maybe due to his foreskin being too tight which results in that. Anyway circumcision will help alot.
 
My husband says he's too tired/stress from work. Sex for us has been going downhill since we decided to go for ivf treatment about 3 years back. It did result in a baby boy for us, but ever since then, 0 sex. I just went for my 2nd ivf since I still have some frozen embryos left and didn't want to waste them. However, I can't help feeling that this whole process seems like shopping for a baby as we didn't even actively try for one. I can't help feeling sad and frustrated as it seems that my husband is no longer interested in me except for the occasional touch and hug.

Try understd wat happened in his work. Try understd his workin patterns & flow.
 
Try understd wat happened in his work. Try understd his workin patterns & flow.
It's mostly caused by unreasonable bosses who give unreasonable deadlines, and my husband is a perfectionist, who also has too much pride. He's thinking of leaving but have to wait since he's still bonded.
Sometimes, I try to console him but end up getting rebuked. As I'm a sahm, I can't help feeling it is because my words don't carry much weight. Would it be different if I'm also working?
I think we have only gone out by ourselves without the kid less than 5 times since 2.5 years ago. I know it's unhealthy but it's really hard to do so. Even at night after the kid has gone to bed, he would rather play his game past 12 am until he's very tired, rather than spend some time with me. I told him it seems as if I'm begging him for attention, but he has already made his stand on who is more important as he keep telling me to wait. I told him he will probably be happier if he's not married, then he can do whatever he wants.
 
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Anyone experience the same, I have been married for 10yrs and sex was less than 10.
I'm shocked......I can't imaging a marriage without sex! Of course our desires of making love will decrease over a long period of time getting together. My hubby loves sex....so even he's tired and busy, he still find time to have sex with me....
If no sex, how to keep the relationship moving forward?
 
I guess it's different for everyone? Mine doesn't really like to have sex, because -same thing- he's tired from work. But he likes to cuddle, and have intimate conversation. So that's how he expresses love.
I also find it helpful to have short getaways once in a while. That way he'd have more rest, and energy, to get him in the mood.
 
He don't even have time for short getaways nowadays. I'm always the one planning but he always say he's not free.
He's a great dad, but I think he has never a lousy husband.
 
Me and hubs do it twice a week. He says once a week but I try to wake up more often. SAHM tai tai I sleep until noon haha

No sex cannot lah. And best is have sex before marriage to make sure you 2 are sexually compatible and enjoy


Anyone experience the same, I have been married for 10yrs and sex was less than 10.
 
By the way I try to keep myself Super slim even after pregnancy, I'm still s size. And my boobs doubled. Haha make sure I'm as attractive as all the other girls out there so he will use his sperms only on me


Anyone experience the same, I have been married for 10yrs and sex was less than 10.
 
By the way I try to keep myself Super slim even after pregnancy, I'm still s size. And my boobs doubled. Haha make sure I'm as attractive as all the other girls out there so he will use his sperms only on me
Me & hub hardly too and surprise hardly do also kenna 2 kids...
I just realise after the birth of 2nd child totally no until 1time during cny but he didnt cum.
I dont find a problem thinking dont want a 3rd child.
I realise we already drift apart & recently big quarrel
I do initiate & tried abt few days do 1 for few weeks but he hasnt cum! I dont know if this is ok but i start to worry now if this healthy to our r.s
 
Guys work and need sex, it's their bio makeup leh. I think we have to try our best to fulfil our Husband needs, or later he find another woman outside, it's abit too late.

Can help him by usin hand also. I try to invest in sexy lingerie too haha to surprise him haha

Me & hub hardly too and surprise hardly do also kenna 2 kids...
I just realise after the birth of 2nd child totally no until 1time during cny but he didnt cum.
I dont find a problem thinking dont want a 3rd child.
I realise we already drift apart & recently big quarrel
I do initiate & tried abt few days do 1 for few weeks but he hasnt cum! I dont know if this is ok but i start to worry now if this healthy to our r.s
 
Guys work and need sex, it's their bio makeup leh. I think we have to try our best to fulfil our Husband needs, or later he find another woman outside, it's abit too late.

Can help him by usin hand also. I try to invest in sexy lingerie too haha to surprise him haha
He dont like me touch his ....i wore sexy lingerie last sat too...same we hv sex but he unable to cum after a while then he claim he is tired.

He claim could be old & we try every few days for few weeks.
I admit we hv not hv sex for 1.5yr during my pregnancy & after birth only 1 time cny then after that no more until end may.
I m the only 1 intiate so far
I start feeling the crisis he may feel maybe other woman can give him the feel or he already got some1 that why he can hv sex but unable to cum
 
Don't worry! Don't think too much. I'm sure your Husband is nice guy. we as women just do our best to help. Haha

He dont like me touch his ....i wore sexy lingerie last sat too...same we hv sex but he unable to cum after a while then he claim he is tired.

He claim could be old & we try every few days for few weeks.
I admit we hv not hv sex for 1.5yr during my pregnancy & after birth only 1 time cny then after that no more until end may.
I m the only 1 intiate so far
I start feeling the crisis he may feel maybe other woman can give him the feel or he already got some1 that why he can hv sex but unable to cum
 


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