atthexroad
New Member
I'm seeking this alternative because I have nowhere to let out and I believe the only way to let it go is to vent it out all and seek closure. I know I have done a wrong thing and am hoping some ppl will scold the sense out of me.
The story is about me and an ex colleague. As we work along, we got attracted to each other. Don't ask me how it happened despite us having a happy marriages of our own. And of course we ended up being intimate.
Fast forward, he eventually got retrenched and joined another company. Thru this ordeal, I supported him in every way to the extend of guiding him as well whenever he goes for interviews.
I've tried several times to break off from him because the relationship doesn't makes sense. How can you love your wife and at the same time tell me that you love me? But he strongly believes that we're more than soulmates and that we shouldn't give up this relationship. However, slowly, I realized that he was distancing away from me, with his new job, his new life, constantly giving excuses that he is busy and that I should be understanding. Suddenly all those words he used to say to me didn't hold any truth anymore. How can someone change so drastically in a such a short period of time?
I became emotional and insecure to the extent of cutting off contact with him, telling myself that this is the best for both of us. But I realized I was the one ending up being emotionally attached to him when he has already moved on.
Just some time ago, he kept contacting me, asking to have a proper chat but I refused, telling myself that this should be the best arrangement for us. Suddenly, his words turned cold on me and in a moment of anger, I said that I hated him and wished that he will get retribution for all the things he had done to me and almost breaking up my marriage. That made him angry and I never heard from him again.
I've been telling myself to move on and what I did was right to cut off ties with him. But as a human, I started to feel guilty of cursing him. It was never my intention and I have never cursed anyone in my life.
As a form of forgiving myself, I constantly find myself wanting to text him to apologize. Of course, not in the hopes of recovering our relationship but to find closure for myself even though he has caused me emotional grief. The question is, should I even bother? What if he doesn't really care?
The story is about me and an ex colleague. As we work along, we got attracted to each other. Don't ask me how it happened despite us having a happy marriages of our own. And of course we ended up being intimate.
Fast forward, he eventually got retrenched and joined another company. Thru this ordeal, I supported him in every way to the extend of guiding him as well whenever he goes for interviews.
I've tried several times to break off from him because the relationship doesn't makes sense. How can you love your wife and at the same time tell me that you love me? But he strongly believes that we're more than soulmates and that we shouldn't give up this relationship. However, slowly, I realized that he was distancing away from me, with his new job, his new life, constantly giving excuses that he is busy and that I should be understanding. Suddenly all those words he used to say to me didn't hold any truth anymore. How can someone change so drastically in a such a short period of time?
I became emotional and insecure to the extent of cutting off contact with him, telling myself that this is the best for both of us. But I realized I was the one ending up being emotionally attached to him when he has already moved on.
Just some time ago, he kept contacting me, asking to have a proper chat but I refused, telling myself that this should be the best arrangement for us. Suddenly, his words turned cold on me and in a moment of anger, I said that I hated him and wished that he will get retribution for all the things he had done to me and almost breaking up my marriage. That made him angry and I never heard from him again.
I've been telling myself to move on and what I did was right to cut off ties with him. But as a human, I started to feel guilty of cursing him. It was never my intention and I have never cursed anyone in my life.
As a form of forgiving myself, I constantly find myself wanting to text him to apologize. Of course, not in the hopes of recovering our relationship but to find closure for myself even though he has caused me emotional grief. The question is, should I even bother? What if he doesn't really care?