Sahm -stress with kids- no life

I m not a sahm but is considering to be one..dun u gals feel insecure to have no source of income of ur own? I mean to be totally dependent on ur husband? I have these thoughts into consideration and have been telling myself to ditch the idea of "losing" my job.

I mean..what if someday something happens (eg husband has an affair or he suddenly lost his job) *touchh wood*..how am i going to cope? I dun like the idea of having to ask my husband for money whenever i see a nice dress or skincare that i fancy in the malls. If i have a source of income of my own, even if he forsakes the family, my kids and I can still go on without having to be dependent on him. I have seen wives in broken family who stayed on in the family (keep one eye close on their husband's affairs outside just as long as the hubsnad brings back to money to feed her kids).

I mean..what are ur tots of these?
 


It's definitely impt to be able to feed yourself + your kids. Even if you're a SAHM, you must be able to have something to fall back on if *touchwood* something happens, be it w your marriage or family.

I'm a single mum (maybe that's why i trust myself more than man, and strongly think that we woman must be able to provide for ourselves). I need to work but I need plenty of time to spend with my boy and shower him with double the love. You see how 'helpless' i feel over here? I can't sacrifice any, and at the same time, I want to provide my boy with all that i can. I wish to be a SAHM too.. but I can't with my current situation. That's why i start to work-from-home (as a sideline.. am still keeping my day job for now and plan to work-from-home full time once my sideline income is on par with what im earning from my day job). Like what I've mentioned, it is nothing bad or unethical or illegal.. Why not we all work together and make life better for ourselves, our family and our kids?
 
ashleyteo said:
Basically, you need to create other sources of income before you quit your job, or have multiple sources of income.

Unfortunately, the problem lies with the system we are brought up, which is, study hard/smart, then go get a job and earn a (high) income, and then retire.
This system is known as financial cancer, since the moment we stop work, we have no income.

The right process should be, study hard/smart, and be financially educated as well, so that we can generate more than 1 source of income, that is not just from the primary job, but also from other sources, or what is known as Multiple Source of Income. This insulates us in the event we decide to stop work, to look after the kids, or if we get laid off/retrench or whatever, but there are other sources of income.

It's still not too late to start another source of income while you still have a job, and build it up.
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I get what u mean..which i think basically i fall into tt category.

what sort of other sources income SAHM can work as? Other than property, insurance and blogshops. Do u all mind sharing for those who have other work sources that allows them to work but is able to spend time with their kids.
 
I agree with ashleyteo. That's what im doing now. Keeping my full-time job and building my sideline. Can be tough in the beginning, especially when you have a day job, housework to do and a baby to take care of at home. But once you get a hang of it and built up your sideline, everything will be better. More money, more time, and don't even have to worry if one day you lose your day job as you still have your sideline to fall back on or you can even switch to doing that full-time.
 
hi i am also a sahm with a terrible two boy! Hub isnt veri supportive of my decision. Household chores are never ending but i enjoy doing it! Cooking is my another passion too
 
Hi!!

I am an aspiring SAHM after clearing maternity and took unpaid leave from work to ensure my boy gets 6 solid months of BM and to spend quality time with him. I would be returning to work in Dec and already feeling depressed at the thought of this.

Am considering to quit after CNY and looking out for work from home (WFM) opportunities, do share if you have any or aware of any WFH opportunities.

Thx a mill :)
 
Hi, so glad i chance upon this thread. Im not exactly a SAHM yet.. im neither here nor there as I just quit my job. Both my sons are in CCs so Im kinda enjoying my break now. But I know I cannot slack for the rest of my life and I have to start looking for job soon. Feeling kinda lost now. Anyway, Im staying in Punggol. Any mommies around this area? Maybe we can meet up and have some chat.
 
Dear mummies,

I feel that I'm always in great delimna. Not sure what is wrong with me. Nothing seems to work "well" for me ever since my boy is born. I am a SAHM with 21 months old boy.

When I was 1st pregnant with my boy, I was so looking forward to be a SAHM. I have plans on what I should do with my boy when born (eg, activities, swimming, etc) However, things doesn't turn out that way, I realised I can't cope with my boy alone and have been struggling with daily chores. Once in a while will send it to my MIL place for me to take a breather.

I struggled and complained to my hubby and we finally decide to hire a helper when my boy turned one year. God knows, hiring a helper doesn't work out for me too.... felt too tiring training and re-training maids (not lucky enough to get a good maid) and ended up double stress with additional cost incurred.

Then the finally draw was to send him to full day childcare (the childcare we wanted doesn't have hourly/half day care). Now that my boy is in childcare (started one week ago). I now feel depressed and guilty for sending him in childcare.

My point is I really love to take care of my boy myself but seems like my ability doesn't allow me to do so. Moreover I have stop work for quite awhile and now having phobia finding job and work again.

What's wrong with me.... I really don't know. :(

Any mummies have the same situation as I do? Pls share.
 
hihi apple1278... I'm trying to think what I'll do if I'm in your shoes. I've cleared my maternity leave and have taken unpaid leave to stay home with my boy who's 6 months old now but I'll be returning to work soon. I look forward to be a SAHM again but can't afford to do so now...

Personally I think since your boy is already 21 months old, it does make sense for him to go to childcare to learn new stuff and mingle with friends though you prefer it not being a full day cc.

Since this cc is a cc of your choice, and the fact is u hv now more free time on your own, u may wanna consider taking up some part time jobs or focus more on your hsehold stuff, rather than incurring double expenses with the helper...

:)
 
Similar to wasabimei, I quit my job this year to a) take a career break ; b) look after my #2.

Transition was huge cos I was a) a FTWM, b) weekend mum n now become 27/4 SAHM.
So, I arranged for CC for my #2 and can better cope with sometime to run errands/do housework during that few hours of personal time.

Now, I am sourcing learning materials for #1 so as to teach her after kindergarten lessons next year.

Yes, do feel bored at times. Pick up a hobby or sport to keep yourself occupied.
 
Hi All,

Saw this thread and tot maybe i should share my experience too.

I quit my job 9 mths ago to be a SAHM. I have 2 big kids age P5 & Sec1. Is a big decision to quit and stay home. Even my bosses all got a shocked and tried many ways to keep me. I work in a high level stressed job with a good salary. But i know is time to make changes to my life.

Not easy in the begining and i sent back my maid immediately i left my job. She was giving me attitude anyway. I tell myself no more maid.
It was quite tough for the 1st 3 mths, madness with all the housework, kids, cooking and being their driver. My day begins from 6am where my kids wake up till 10pm bedtime for them. No joke was really 24/7.

I really have no time for anything beside kids and household chores. Tiring but i am stress free from the maid.
Everyone may say oh is easy for me cos i have 2 big kids. Is not the case actually. I still hv to attend to them sending them to schools, tuitions, fetching them back, marketing, cook and housework. Times past very fast everyday to me. i dont even have a chance to feel or think bored. i dont hv time to meet up with my friends too. Best part, i was never a housework person dun talk about cooking. I dont cook in the past cos i have my mum who used to help me but she past away 3yrs ago and i hv to depend on maid for cooking.

With this period i try to enjoy with all the chores, google for interesting and easy recipes to cook, doing marketing on weekdays when is less crowded when my kids were in schools, do abit of housework as i engaged part time cleaners twice a week. I will go breakfast alone and enjoy the private time myself. After that i will prepare lunch and fetch kids back. Once they back, it will be a endless day for me till kids to bed. During exam period i try to spend time with kids to accompany them to study and coach abit.

Now after 9mths, i am going for a maid soon, reason is too much cleaning to do. even though with a part time maid, some stuff she wont be able to do. and yes i am trying to protect my hands from drying up with wrinkles. Especially next year my son will be P6 PSLE, i hope to spend more time accompany him on his studies. Is gg to be challenging to train a fresh new maid again but i hv to give it a try.

But the most rewarding part of these 9mths is my kids performance in school. Both did well in this year end exam and my hubby was quite happy. He travels alot, so he does not have any time for us. At least with me at home, he can travel to work w/o worries and keeps are well taken care off. I feel all my hardwork and sacrifices really worth it.

I have made it for these few mths. I believe some of you mummies should be able to do it, just need some help. Eg putting kids to childcare and getting part time cleaner to help. Try to be positive and try to make your chores more enjoyable.

With this 2 mths of school holidays, i am rewarding myself with a few holidays before i start busy with the new maid and sch reopen next year. Hope i have more time next year to take up some light sports or hobby.
 
mummy_darling said:
haha.. im also a sahm but im also having my own source of income. Given the standard of living in singapore, u cant depend on one person to raise a family. I still strongly believe that we, as a women can still have a career of our own despite having kids.
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how you do that been a sahm and still have own source of income? I am a sahm too n looking for ways to earn some pocket money for myself.pls share, thanks.
 
Hi jl3112

I am also a mum, have one kid of 2 yrs old.
When I read what you share, I felt the same too...as I ever stayed home for a year plus to take care of my child.

"Times past very fast everyday to me. I dont even have a chance to feel or think bored. i dont hv time to meet up with my friends too. Best part, i was never a housework person dun talk about cooking. I dont cook in the past cos i have my mum who used to help me when I was single & was still staying with her and my dad."

Currently, I have returned to the workforce & my child is in childcare. I feel so exhausted everyday, rushing to fetch the kid after work, prepare meals & tried to do up most housework on the weekends, felt that I had so little time & energy left for my kid, hubby & myself. I think need to get extra pairs of hands.

Do you know of any hardworking, honest & reliable part time cleaner who can help with the housework cum ironing once a week on weekends, can PM me? Thanks.
 
I quit my ridiculous job to travel, but before my trip started, I found out I was pregnant. Then, of course, who would hire a pregnant lady, right? My husband and I then decided that I'd just stay home and find work again when baby is older.

Yes, it's 24/7, no leave, no mc, no weekends or public holidays. I've hardly seen my friends or if I do, for only short periods of time instead of hanging out with them all day like before. Sometimes I question this decision but when baby smiles at me, I know it's all worthwhile.
 
mickey08 said:
Hi jl3112

I am also a mum, have one kid of 2 yrs old.
When I read what you share, I felt the same too...as I ever stayed home for a year plus to take care of my child.

"Times past very fast everyday to me. I dont even have a chance to feel or think bored. i dont hv time to meet up with my friends too. Best part, i was never a housework person dun talk about cooking. I dont cook in the past cos i have my mum who used to help me when I was single & was still staying with her and my dad."

Currently, I have returned to the workforce & my child is in childcare. I feel so exhausted everyday, rushing to fetch the kid after work, prepare meals & tried to do up most housework on the weekends, felt that I had so little time & energy left for my kid, hubby & myself. I think need to get extra pairs of hands.

Do you know of any hardworking, honest & reliable part time cleaner who can help with the housework cum ironing once a week on weekends, can PM me? Thanks.
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Hi mickey08,

You sounds exactly like me, a pamper daughter from our parents. hehehe...

I think you're amazing. After work you still prepare meals. If i were to work, this is totally impossible for me. I can imagine how tiring you are.

In the past 9 mths, i was using part-time cleaner twice a week. They are "sort off" reliable but after a while i slowly realize not that ideal after all. I started with an indon part time helper paying her $50 for 4hrs, pretty ok in the beginning. but as time past, she comes in late and leave early so sometimes only 3-3.5hrs. But still i paid her for 4hrs job. Then slowly lots of stuff she doesnt clean and the house getting more and more dirty. And she goes back to her hometown in batam every few weeks. So at time i am helpless 1-2 weeks w/o helper. Then i tried to alternate with another part time cleaner, PRC cleaner. Not too bad but she quite rough and start to damage things in the house. In all i paid $400 a mth for part time cleaner. Therefore with such cases, i wont recommend my cleaners. Really hard to come by good helpers.
 
oceanbaby said:
I quit my ridiculous job to travel, but before my trip started, I found out I was pregnant. Then, of course, who would hire a pregnant lady, right? My husband and I then decided that I'd just stay home and find work again when baby is older.

Yes, it's 24/7, no leave, no mc, no weekends or public holidays. I've hardly seen my friends or if I do, for only short periods of time instead of hanging out with them all day like before. Sometimes I question this decision but when baby smiles at me, I know it's all worthwhile.
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Hi Oceanbaby,

I totally agreed with you, is a 24/7 madness job at home. hahaha... Yup, many times i question myself about my decision too. But when i see kids and hubby feeling so at ease at home with Mummy arounds, hubby doing well in his biz and kids doing well in their studies, what else can i ask for? Already i am feeling blessed with happiness and time with family.
 
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You can find more details www.babyspa.com
 
mayonise said:
hi all SAHM, really salute you.
anyone out there can share some experiences, how do you manage from doing household chores, to fetching children and cooking dinner yet still can keep your sanity and still able to play with kids. I realized that in the past after my work, im so exhausted and im quite short temper with my kids and I yell and shout at them. but I don't want to do such things to my kids anymore if I stay at home.
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Mayonise,
I am a mother of 3 kids (8, 6, 4). I had quitted my job in May'13. I have considered doing this for 3 years. Finally, I have to courage to do so last year.
It triggered when my medical checkup detected high in tumor marker. Meaning, suspected cancer. I was very worry. The 2 weeks waiting for detail report made me see life differently since then. I deeply know that I will regret not doing what I want to do if I die. I will regret not giving my kids my time when I am still around. Properly, they won't even remember me. Although, detail report showed I am ok. I decided to quit. Life is full of uncertainty. I don't want to worry too much for the future and lose what I can do at the moment.

I had a full time break for 6 months with 2 kids in full day childcare and 1 kid with After School Care. It was like tai tai life but a bit boring though. Until Nov'13, I decided to stop After School Care for my eldest kid since it was school holiday period. I started to take care of her full day. From Jan'14, I have to take care of 2 kids after primary school (with 3rd kid still in Full day childcare).
It is not as bad/busy as you think. After send kids to school and childcare, I will then prepare lunch and dinner. Cook soup for both lunch and dinner. It takes about 1 hour. While preparing meal, I will load laundry into washing machine. So that, by the time I finished preparing meal, I can hang the laundry. Only when it is the day that I have to clean up my house, else I will have 1 - 3 hours for myself. ( like now.....).

After fetching the kids from primary school, lunch, shower, I have to be their tuition teacher for 1 - 1.5 hours. At around 4.30pm, I have to cook the dishes that I have prepared in the morning for dinner. After the cooking, I will then fetch my youngest kid from Childcare. The busiest time of the day will start when 3 kids are at home in the evening.

What I want to say is don't worry too much. You will get use to doing the household chores. Just a bit of time management will give you me-time for yourself.
We can't do it because we were tired after work. I can even watch Hong Kong drama :)

Hope my 2 cents of words can help you.
 
I now having a stable job with a decent income. But I going to be a SAHM in month time for my 7 month old bb girl.
I'm so looking forward to the day but deep in my heart also a bit worry I making a wrong decision.
 
angsc said:
Don't worry too much, and take it one step at a time.
You'll cross the bridge when you come to it.

You can always use your talents and skills to start up something online like many mothers out there, or do some part time work.
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Thanks for your encouragement :)
 
Being a SAHM won't be a wrong decision when u can see yr little one grow up. U can always go back to work force when yr kid is a little older. But when yr kid grows up, they can never be little again but job u can always look for one.
 
As we are all SAHM, I'm now facing another problem. Recently my mom fell down again and just had her surgery. My sis do not want to get a maid to take care of my mom even tho my mom has been staying with her. She do not want a stranger in her house. She said even if get maid, my mom n the maid will stay in my house which is a 3 room flat with no extra space for anything and the maid can help out with my housework and my kids. She doesn't see it from my point of view. I got no extra space and 2 hyper kids at 7 yr n 2 yr old. My hb totally don't agree as everytime my mom fell down my sis will send my mom to my house for me to take care despite me having to take care of my kids alone. Previously she came, my sis bought a wardrobe here for my mom to use, this time round she wants to get another bed unless my daughter sleep in my room. I have a very sticky 2 yr old and I need to send my fetch my 7 yr old to sch on bus daily. My mom need full attention as she just had surgery. My elder brother also do not have extra space in his house. My mom and sis both are strict vegetarian. She got extra rooms in her house and her hb is always at home so I don't see why she can't have the maid at her house. Now I'm being accused of not compromising and not filial. I'm exhausted. Bottom line is, my sis do not want to pay someome to take care of my mom. I'm a free maid. She thinks I'm very free at home only taking care of 2 kids.
 
betc said:
As we are all SAHM, I'm now facing another problem. Recently my mom fell down again and just had her surgery. My sis do not want to get a maid to take care of my mom even tho my mom has been staying with her. She do not want a stranger in her house. She said even if get maid, my mom n the maid will stay in my house which is a 3 room flat with no extra space for anything and the maid can help out with my housework and my kids. She doesn't see it from my point of view. I got no extra space and 2 hyper kids at 7 yr n 2 yr old. My hb totally don't agree as everytime my mom fell down my sis will send my mom to my house for me to take care despite me having to take care of my kids alone. Previously she came, my sis bought a wardrobe here for my mom to use, this time round she wants to get another bed unless my daughter sleep in my room. I have a very sticky 2 yr old and I need to send my fetch my 7 yr old to sch on bus daily. My mom need full attention as she just had surgery. My elder brother also do not have extra space in his house. My mom and sis both are strict vegetarian. She got extra rooms in her house and her hb is always at home so I don't see why she can't have the maid at her house. Now I'm being accused of not compromising and not filial. I'm exhausted. Bottom line is, my sis do not want to pay someome to take care of my mom. I'm a free maid. She thinks I'm very free at home only taking care of 2 kids.
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Hi betc,

sorry to hear about your mum's fall. will it help if you and your sis to split half the maid's salary and let them stay with your sis? it will be too much to manage if your mum stays with you especially the space availability. Then at the same time you can get the maid over to help out with cleaning like maybe 1-2 times a week. You will go crazy to manage 2 kids, housework and your mum plus the vegetarian diet.
 
jl3112 said:
Hi betc,

sorry to hear about your mum's fall. will it help if you and your sis to split half the maid's salary and let them stay with your sis? it will be too much to manage if your mum stays with you especially the space availability. Then at the same time you can get the maid over to help out with cleaning like maybe 1-2 times a week. You will go crazy to manage 2 kids, housework and your mum plus the vegetarian diet.
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There is only one concern with the above.
The maid, is only allowed (legally speaking) to work at one and only one location, and not anywhere else.
In a dispute or disagreement, betc may lose out and put at a disadvantage, depending on whose house was used for the maid to work in.
 
Agree.
abbba said:
There is only one concern with the above.
The maid, is only allowed (legally speaking) to work at one and only one location, and not anywhere else.
In a dispute or disagreement, betc may lose out and put at a disadvantage, depending on whose house was used for the maid to work in.
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Agree. Legally the maid is only allowed to work at one location. And if she's hired to take care of the old, she's not required to do other chores. And I'm a SAHM, I do not have the ability to pay half the salary for a maid. I do not require a maid to help out with my chores or my kids. My mom have a hse that has been rented out so maid's salary is no prob at all. I'm just angry that my sis want to dump everything to my hse.
 
betc said:
Agree.

Agree. Legally the maid is only allowed to work at one location. And if she's hired to take care of the old, she's not required to do other chores. And I'm a SAHM, I do not have the ability to pay half the salary for a maid. I do not require a maid to help out with my chores or my kids. My mom have a hse that has been rented out so maid's salary is no prob at all. I'm just angry that my sis want to dump everything to my hse.
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Sigh… is never easy even though sibling. you are caught in a bad situation. we can't help you much but can only hear u out. do feel free to let out here if you need to :) Take care and stay positive.
 
abbba said:
There is only one concern with the above.
The maid, is only allowed (legally speaking) to work at one and only one location, and not anywhere else.
In a dispute or disagreement, betc may lose out and put at a disadvantage, depending on whose house was used for the maid to work in.
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agreed, this maid issue is very tricky. we have to be careful when dealing with them :)
 
I used to be a SAHM too during marriage but now I'm a full time working single parent, thus I have very little time with my little 1 too. I debated over the issues of sending him to child care and now student care. It actually does help in ways of letting them be more independent. My boy is 7 this year and way too independent at times too. There's Def pros and cons, it how u see it mommies.
 
betc,
I can understand how busy your daily. It is normal for FTWMs to think SAHMs are "very free"....as if we only sit at home enjoying life. Don't blame them as they don't have the courage to one of us.
My suggestion to you is to talk to your sister. Let her know your difficulty. Your mother has 3 kids. Thus, it is not only your "duty" to be filial. Your sister and brother have the responsibility too.
I have prepared my sister-in-law will do the same thing to me one day...... :)
 
My sis don't have children that's y she will never understand the life of a SAHM. So to her everything is easy.
 
now im finally a SAHM full time after i quit my job in feb 2014 and right after tht i conceived my 3rd kid. during then and now, i felt i had the good time spending with my 2 older kids which are 5 and 3 yrs old and i believe that its before my little one come out in dec, this is the only time i can delicated to both of them and i cant imagine by the 3rd one popped im so busy wiht the baby care that i will no more time and energy to look after the older kids. of course i struggle alot and worried alot about financially partly as im drawing quite a high salary as my husband and we both used to contribute equal amt to household . now without my income, its like 50% cut of the household n we had to adjust and adapt nad cut down significantly. and also with the 3rd one coming out, more expenses...
but actually i realised alot of things can really can do without like i cook my meals daily nad weekends we eat at home too althouhg occassionally we get to enjoy a nice dinner. and eating out nowaday its so expensive mind you! a meal with a family of 5 in a reastuarnat easily cost $80-100.

and i dont buy toys for my kids, instead i made the toys with them. i dont shop and i dont eat out so actually help to cut down alot. but the most upset part is not my in laws, dont understand why i decide to quit and keep saying and asking me is my job really so stressful meh and she will say work everywhere is stress one la.. and she worried that i stop work i will give alot of stress and financial burden to his son.. and yet on weekends they always wnat us to bring them out on meals and whenever we go over their house forvisiting they din cook and ask us to eat out. and eating out is already so expensive and is this how they help us by making us spend more money?

my stress not coming from my own but from inlaws pressurizing me to go back to work n i felt that i know what best of my children. its not really about the money but the quality time wiht the kids.

im staying in the west side if there any mummies like me SAHM we can meet up and chat and share about our issues and give each other encouragement.
 
mayonise said:
now im finally a SAHM full time after i quit my job in feb 2014 and right after tht i conceived my 3rd kid. during then and now, i felt i had the good time spending with my 2 older kids which are 5 and 3 yrs old and i believe that its before my little one come out in dec, this is the only time i can delicated to both of them and i cant imagine by the 3rd one popped im so busy wiht the baby care that i will no more time and energy to look after the older kids. of course i struggle alot and worried alot about financially partly as im drawing quite a high salary as my husband and we both used to contribute equal amt to household . now without my income, its like 50% cut of the household n we had to adjust and adapt nad cut down significantly. and also with the 3rd one coming out, more expenses...
but actually i realised alot of things can really can do without like i cook my meals daily nad weekends we eat at home too althouhg occassionally we get to enjoy a nice dinner. and eating out nowaday its so expensive mind you! a meal with a family of 5 in a reastuarnat easily cost $80-100.

and i dont buy toys for my kids, instead i made the toys with them. i dont shop and i dont eat out so actually help to cut down alot. but the most upset part is not my in laws, dont understand why i decide to quit and keep saying and asking me is my job really so stressful meh and she will say work everywhere is stress one la.. and she worried that i stop work i will give alot of stress and financial burden to his son.. and yet on weekends they always wnat us to bring them out on meals and whenever we go over their house forvisiting they din cook and ask us to eat out. and eating out is already so expensive and is this how they help us by making us spend more money?

my stress not coming from my own but from inlaws pressurizing me to go back to work n i felt that i know what best of my children. its not really about the money but the quality time wiht the kids.

im staying in the west side if there any mummies like me SAHM we can meet up and chat and share about our issues and give each other encouragement.
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mayonise

at least u dun stay with your in laws nor need to face them everyday unlike us staying together has brought us immense torture and conflicts and bad relations too.

eating out on weekends this issue, can be easily sort out if your hub can talk to them. I believe the old folks can understand. like those impt occasions, once in a while bring them out to dine, i think its okay as long as relations are not sour.
 
hello mummies

http://www.careermums.com.sg/

maybe can look at the above link for job listings that are flexible.
for me i have recently started working full time so i engaged a filipino maid from faith employment agency.
thankfully she is very very good so i have a peace of mind at work. she can handle my daughter very well and is an ex nurse so hygiene is very good too.

and i always take my hats off mums without any helper. i can nvr manage. even when i was not working, i needed a helper to do the housework and cooking.
kudos to mummies without helper! u ladies are superwoman!
 
Hi am ftwm with 3 kids. Planning on quitting even my oldest is in pri 1 in 2 years so that I can ferry to school n teach homework. I don't like the idea of outsourcing to tuition centers. But I wonder if I'm being too optimistic about what I will do as a sahm. Do many ppl quit work when their kids enter pr 1?
 
I agree with mummygoh that nowadays eating out is very very expensive, even at foodcourts. A meal for me, my hb n 2 kids is always ard $20 esp when my hb eats alot so if possible I try to cook unless I got craving for outside food. I really 'pei fu' those who stay with in laws. I will go crazy if I have to stay with in laws. My elder is in P1 this yr n I have a 2 yrs old. I have to bring my elder to sch on public bus along with the little one. Tho she's in morning session, by the time she reach home, takes her shower n eats her lunch it's already 3pm. Everyday rush here n there........so tiring but have to train her to take public bus so that next yr she can go to sch on her own as the sch is 6 bus stops away only.
 
Going for tuition will only mean more homework. My friend's daughter goes to student care and tuition n she was telling me that her daughter doesn't do her sch homework at student care and gets even more homework from tuition class. Now she headache. Some sch give alot of homework but some sch don't really give homework. My girl's teachers allow them to do their homework in sch if they can managed so she don't always have alot of homework to do.
 
betc said:
I agree with mummygoh that nowadays eating out is very very expensive, even at foodcourts. A meal for me, my hb n 2 kids is always ard $20 esp when my hb eats alot so if possible I try to cook unless I got craving for outside food. I really 'pei fu' those who stay with in laws. I will go crazy if I have to stay with in laws. My elder is in P1 this yr n I have a 2 yrs old. I have to bring my elder to sch on public bus along with the little one. Tho she's in morning session, by the time she reach home, takes her shower n eats her lunch it's already 3pm. Everyday rush here n there........so tiring but have to train her to take public bus so that next yr she can go to sch on her own as the sch is 6 bus stops away only.
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betc

u are lucky not staying with in laws, just maintain a cordial r/ship. now even my hub regret inviting her in and caused so much unhappiness at home. .....
 
wivi789 said:
betc

u are lucky not staying with in laws, just maintain a cordial r/ship. now even my hub regret inviting her in and caused so much unhappiness at home. .....
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Oh ya once u invite her in, there's no way u can ask her to leave without hurting her unless yr hb have other siblings who's willing to invite her into their hse. I don't even like to stay with my own mom coz I hate to have somemore nagging at me esp I'm a late sleeper. Always nag at me using my laptop until late at night. When my mom was staying with me, I have to be sneaky when using my laptop at night. Faintz... Luckily I'm only have 2 bedrooms so no extra room IF my hb's parents ever want to come stay with us.
 
betc said:
Oh ya once u invite her in, there's no way u can ask her to leave without hurting her unless yr hb have other siblings who's willing to invite her into their hse. I don't even like to stay with my own mom coz I hate to have somemore nagging at me esp I'm a late sleeper. Always nag at me using my laptop until late at night. When my mom was staying with me, I have to be sneaky when using my laptop at night. Faintz... Luckily I'm only have 2 bedrooms so no extra room IF my hb's parents ever want to come stay with us.
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betc

i agree. having a small house with limited rooms is always to our advantage.
 
miffy_ang, i know what you mean. It is definitely easier to bring one kid out. I am lucky that my girl is already big enough so she can take care of didi together with me whenever we go out. How time flies. It's been a year and my boy is now 2. Much easier to get things done. But now i am preggy with #3. So i guess i have to look forward to many more years of SAHM! :p

Alicia80, sometimes things don't go as planned too. I also have a lot of things i want to do with my kids. Even as a SAHM, i can't find time to complete my list of fun things to do. You get to spend quality time with your kids over the weekends. :)
 
Can't believe i forgot about this thread for a year! Lol. :p

But i still want to reply to FFT's query. I think a sense of security should not be coming from an income. As a family, we give each other that sense of security. If that trust has already been built up, there is no possibility of doubting each other and feeling miserable over, probably, nothing? It is not easy to be a SAHM if we do not have a supportive hubby. My hubby works more that 16 hours a day. The kids see him only once a week. He leaves everything in the household to me so he can concentrate on his career. And he also works hard to give me that sense of security too by making phonecalls home to check on me, if i haven't eaten, he would order macdonald's and have it delivered to me, all these little things mean a lot to me. His monthly salary goes to me and i do the financial planning every month and give him his share of pocket money. I believe that women are better at controlling expenses compared to men? We tend to think twice before making a purchase? Of course there may be exceptions. Bad things can happen. So savings are very important even though we are SAHMs. There will always be a way out to every problem i believe. Money is probably good to have when things happen but even without it, problems can be solved as long as we remain positive. To give our kids a happy childhood, happy mummy=happy babies! :D
 
Hi mummies. I would like to share my happiness here. My P2 girl scores high (at least exit my expectation). She is 4th in class and 16/210 in her level. I am not sure if her results is purely due to I am a SAHM (as there was no positioning in P1) but It is really worth to be SAHM when we can ensure the kids are doing well and eat well. So, we should do what we think we should do. Hope this can encourage all SAHM. Jia you !
 
i am contemplating about being a SAHM for my 4mth old or hire a maid for my mom to help me look after. >,>

any mommy can advise?
 
Hi belinda. I decided to be a sahm after my 4 mths maternity leave. It wasnt an easy decision at all with all the uncertainties of future after I leave my job and my earning power diminished totally. But with the support of hub I finally decided to be a full time teacher and mother to my first child. My child is currently 15 months old. A happy, confident, curious and contented child she is now makes me a happy mom too. I have alot of worries too after I left my job but seeing my child grow up well adjusted to environments easily..I guess my sacrifice is worth it. Of cos staying at home has its cons too. But I believe a great start for ur baby is definitely important in moulding her into a great person in life.
 

Katkat84 said:
One yr into being a sahm....im still constantly telling myself to put aside my own worries and be the strong pillar in my child's life. Tt helps alot :)
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thanks katkat for the encouragement..i'd actually yet to discuss with my hub..just a tot that i'd been thinking recently. not very sure what his reaction will be
 
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