!--Overtly superstitious woman known as my MIL

After reading other threads about MILs (Mother-In-Laws), let me vent my frustrations on mine. If she's ever considered one...

Met hubby in 2006, started dating in 2007, at the start of the relationship, she was cordial and even advised hubby to buy gifts for me (according to her, my star sign states that I like gifts...don't all women?).

A few weeks later, all started to change. That was in Jan 2008. Upon hearing my birthdate, she flipped some books and went to some place to got my "ba zi" (eight characters) counted.

Not to my amazement, hers and mine clashed. Worse of it all, she claims that mine and my hubby's is a big no-no. Will divorce, hubby will be cursed and job won't be successful, etc, etc.

That was just the very start. She started to HAUNT and call my hubby's ex-girlfriend (whom broke up in 2006) to ask her to come back to her son and whatnot.

Despite her many objections and countless baseless reasonings, we did our solemnisation (ROM) in June 2008. She attended only to show the whole world how unpleased she was. No smiles on the pictures on the biggest day of her son's life.

I tolerated all these so far.

Due to hubby's insistence to stay near his grandparents, we had to purchase a flat in the same town as his parents. Next wave of wooha came along. The day of signing the papers (for the housing grant) at the HDB Hub, she sat through the whole proceedings grumpier than Grumpy and at one point, threw the pen down after she's finished signing her portion of the papers.

FIL couldn't help but kept on apologising behind her back to me. I nearly wanted to cry that day. Not because of the nasty woman's action to me, but the guilt and the sorry state of her husband and son who were so pitifully sandwiched.

Keep in mind that all these while, I was polite and had did my duty to greet her each time I meet her at family gatherings. Only to be ignored. Maybe hundreds of times till date.

Fastforward to 2009, our wedding day, same thing. Not a word during the tea ceremony, not a smile on her son's big day.

After being a dutiful daughter-in-law for close to 3 years now, she has NOT ONCE acknowledged my presence. She has only mentioned all her displeasure through midnight phone calls to my hubby, saying how yellow-faced (yes, i'm more tanned than the average chinese girl) I am, how inappropiately dressed I was, yadder yadder.

Recently, we are pregnant! To everyone's, including my parents' belief, they would imagine her change of attitude towards me. With all the "carrying her first grandchild" reasons and whatnot.

WRONG. she has not once, in my current 7 months of pregnancy, called my hubby to ask how my pregnancy was, never once did she find out from my FIL how I was either. The only consistent thing she did -- ignore my existence. Including my unborn child's.

Let's just say I'm goddamn glad I ain't living with her. Let her go indulge in her superstitious ways. Utterly disgusted.
 


dun care abt her lah!

u have ur own family now with bb on the way..so exciting! dun let ppl like her spoil ur mood. she behave like tat is only alienating herself away frm her son and losing her chance of enjoying 3-generation family happiness. itz her loss! hopefully b4 she gets too old, she will realise all these silliness.

my mil oso same same pattern. im staying with her smmore and my hb always not ard due to work. she will only cook when her son is back. if im alone at home with her she will open can of sardine to eat..die die wun cook. FYI, im 7mths preggie.

close 1 eye lor! i can take care of myself.
 
Same.. Luckily u dont stay with your in laws.. I am staying with my PIL.. worse still.. having my 2nd one.. the day when my HB aconnuce i am preg.. my FIL give these remarks.. dont give birth to another lose money daughter.. my mil is just beside him.. and kicked him.. said u think u can control to have a girl or boy meh?? but on the other hand my mil also very scare i give birth to another girl.. when i go for medicalcheck up keep asking whether Boy or Girl.. Had a Blew with PIL a mth ago.. my mil still have the cheek saying that my fil never make these remarks!!
 
I'm so glad u don't live with them. Best thing to do is ignore her. But be careful, she may start telling relatives tt u kept her grandchild from her. We cannot win MIL one.. On another note, I think our babies are abt same age! I was 7 mths pregnant in May too!

I can't help but add my rant too. Just had a financial run-in with MIL today.

When we announced we are pregnant, she said don't matter boy or girl. Healthy is enough. But she dreamt of dragon so she suspect it's a boy. When we confirmed our baby was a girl, MIL IMMEDIATELY told us go temple pray that next child is a boy. Said that boy is good. I told my HB that she can go have another boy if she wants a boy. And that filial children can be boy or girl. Unfilial children also got boy and girl. I told MIL, to me girl or boy are equally precious. She said ya.. "healthy is most impt but boy is good." WTF? I had my girl 1 mth earlier than EDD. MIL say must be something I did wrong. Walk too much, eat too much durian, never drink coconut water. F!F!F!F! I felt terrible enough alr but she had to say I did something wrong! Even my gynae said nothing was wrong. Then when baby jaundice MIL blame me. Say I eat too much carrot, yellow food, durian so cause baby to be "heaty".

Now treat my girl like trophy baby cos first grandchild and she's very cute and smiles at everyone. Bring around show off to relatives and keep bragging about my ability to TBF for 5 mths and going. Then when she angry/bad mood or baby was particularly fussy tt day, she show temper and treat baby like a burden. Lousy MIL left my HB to foster parents when he was only 40 days old cos elder bro is 1 yr older only. Never BF him and never bring him home. I cried when I heard this and hated her the moment I heard about this from HB foster parents. MIL only brought him home when he was 5 years old! At that time, MIL beat HB till he bled cos he refused to go with her. Even foster mum kneel and pleaded MIL not to cane HB. HB was even confused who was his real mother. Absolutely hate her even now. Now my HB & MIL have a distant r/s. MIL very scared tt HB don't want her so always jealous when we visit foster parents. Tell us not to "disturb" them "all the time".

She thinks her kids are to pay for her tai-tai lifestyle. Yah.. last time got $$ drive Mercs, live private house. Now just normal middle class but still want to be tai-tai. Never worked a day in her life! Everyday mj, go cruise, go temple, make donations. Expect her 3 kids to give her $600 every month. Our salary only how much, Must save for flat, baby, rainy day. Pay insurance and expenses then left with what? Try to nego lower, she said she gotta pay for household expenses also. HELLO??? Smaller prawns and less abalone is ok u know? Ppl won't die from eating normal prawns and normal fish u know? Everything must show that she is so "generous" and "Da Fang". Pooey!

Everything she buys is about "Mian Zhi". Biggest, most expensive and branded means GOOD! The biggest fish, most expensive prawns, the most food at steamboat, biggest buffet, most expensive abalone, tons of scallops, crabs, giant prawns, sea cucumber. Seriously, she buys abalone to keep till next yr then this yr eat last yr one.

Even after we had our girl, still expect us to give $600 in addition to our baby expenses! Then employ maid to help her with chores. Good life or not? All this when she's just staying home and shake leg. Some more reserved a room in our flat that's only gonna be ready in 3 yrs without even asking us if that's ok. Refuse to stay with her beloved eldest son cos he's a slob & lazy (thanks to her spoiling eldest son) and the fact that they are getting a 4rm flat. MIL wants to stay in a our 5 rm flat cos she said "4rm flat so small how to live?"

I'm mean and petty. I wish she would ___ earlier so that my HB and I don't have to suffer her Si Yao Mian Zhi face. I give her respect cos she is my HB's mother. That's all.

Ok.. rant stop.
 

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