New mother questions - 2 babies under 12 months


There is a possibility that I will be adopting and giving birth within 12 months from each other and I have some questions surrounding this. (there is a high possibility of falling pregnant through ivf in before the end of the year and there is also a high chance of identifying a suitable baby for adoption before the end of the year. It's not ideal but we have been ttc for years and I am not getting any younger and are not keen on delaying either of the two options)

- First of all, is it advisable for two babies of differing ages to share a cot? Or could this be dangerous and not recommended?

- I was considering buying co-sleeper but they seem only big enough for babies up to 5 months old. Also, if I am adopting and feeding formula, is there a benefit to a co-sleeper since I would have to get out of bed during the night to prepare formula anyway?

- That brings me to formula, if I used regular powdered formula through the day but used the more expensive ready prepared formula through the night, does the ready prepared formula need to be heated? Or can it sit beside the bed in a bottle and when the baby wakes up for feeding, I can just pick up the bottle and feed? Or is there a risk of bacteria contamination like this?

I really have no idea what I am doing. My hubby's parents are both passed away so his mum won't be around to help. My mum and dad will be coming to stay with us from overseas to help but she exclusively breastfed all her kids and besides standards for cots etc are very different now than from the 80s so I need help from modern mums on how to be a good mum.

Also, we were expecting to adopt roughly around four months time. As mothers, would you advise to stay on the wait list and try and adopt closer to the time that I give birth so that two babies will be much closer in age? Would this be easier than having two bubs being say, roughly 9 months apart? Obviously I cannot control these things perfectly. I will give birth when I give birth and I can only somewhat control when we adopt. We were initially told that adoption takes about 1 year but in reality everyone we have spoken to it happens a lot fast than that. Both people we spoke to, they adopted from 2 weeks to 1 month of being approved and on the wait list. Since we don't have preference for gender or race, it may also happen quite fast. Of course, we can continue to decline babies until we feel we are getting to the right time to bring one home.

Is not easy to take care of 2 at the same time....feeding,attentions,sleepless night when both bb take turns to feed...Don't think that getting a maid to help out solve the problems..fat hope..
Moreover own child will get more care n love than adopted 1s,helper will handle adopted bb right...
I don't think is ideal to have 2 infants /bb at the same time...
Hi @Curious Wombat ,

As @radish1 has mentioned, taking care of 2 children at the same time may be a challenge, and it may not be ideal to have 2 infants at the same time.

That said, I'm sure there are several first time parents with twins and are compelled to look after more than 1 infant at a time, so it really depends on you.

One of the challenges of taking care of multiple infants at the same time is the need to take turns to feed, which could be more time-consuming and physically exhausting, especially if you are cradling your babies while waiting for them to finish up.

That said, if you are still intending to adopt during this period, you may like to consider the following hands-free baby feeding solution:

This would allow you to feed your baby in a less physically strenuous position.

Do continue to supervise your child during the feeding, even if you are using a hands-free bottle though, and ensure that your child feeds in more or less an upright position to reduce intake of gas and colic.

Hope that helps.

Hello, I'm a new mother and to be honest, I cannot even manage 1 baby let alone 2! I'm thinking very hard when to try for no.2 but the challenges will always be there! Firstly, all babies have sleeping issues and that alone, is exhausting. Waking up frequently to take care of a crying baby is super exhausting. If there are 2 babies, I think don't need to sleep already. Haha... milk powder, diapers and wet wipes are super expensive! My son finishes 1 tin every 5 days... Anyway, I would suggest you to hold on the adoption first... adapt to taking care of your baby first. A lot of things have to learn and adjust just for a little one! All the best!