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My husband is close to his female colleague. Too close for my comfort.

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by naeema, Nov 14, 2017.

  1. naeema

    naeema Member

    Hi all,

    My husband is pretty close to his female colleague who is 11 years younger than him. She's a Malaysian and is in a long term relationship with her bf as well.

    So here's the the list of things I found out thru his text messages.

    • I caught text messages of my husband calling her in cute pet names.
    • Her number was saved under a guy's name.
    • My husband suggested to her that they should just take mc one of these days and hang out.
    • He asked her if she wants to go to a hotel with him, since he can't "sleep well" at home.
    • One of the text from her, she complaint of mozzie bites on her hands and my husband replied that if he was the mozzie he would've bitten her "fair thighs, her cute face and her butt"
    • He ask intimate details like how often she has sex with her bf.
    And his response to all of this is that it's a "inside office joke".
    I got him to explain to me in details and his response was, everyone in the office has pet names, her number was saved under a guy's name coz he didn't want his other colleagues to know that they were texting during working hours. He claims asking her to a hotel room was a joke as some other 2 colleagues from his workplace came to work one morning wearing the same hotel room slippers in the office. So it's some kinda office gossip. The mozzie issue, he claims she was touched inappropriately while on the bus and so it was meant to be joke.

    So how am I supposed to react to this? I am
    Extremely hurt and upset that my husband talks like that to another woman.
    He is sorry about all this after confronting him and he said he won't do this again. He meant no harm and got carried away.

    As much as I want to forgive him, I find it very difficult to look past all of this.
    I hate that after all the fun my husband had with his "harmless teasing", I'm the one feeling heartbroken.

    I have no one to share this with, thus, posting it here to get some advise. Thank you for reading my lengthy post. Just had to let it out.
     


  2. margret

    margret Active Member

    U should have keep silent n try to get more.
    Hope the confrontation work if not he will become more careful.
    Anyway, very important is how tat women reply him. It takes 2 to clap
     
  3. bubbles07

    bubbles07 New Member

    Huggss.. What I can say is, Follow your woman’s intuitive . Most of the time is quite accurate. But don’t over think or stress so much.its just now worth it. Breathe , do happy things and stay happy. Have faith and maybe things might turn out to be not what it actually is cheers
     
    naeema likes this.
  4. bubbles07

    bubbles07 New Member

    Huggss.. What I can say is, Follow your woman’s intuitive . Most of the time is quite accurate. But don’t over think or stress so much.its just now worth it. Breathe , do happy things and stay happy. Have faith and maybe things might turn out to be not what it actually is cheers
     
  5. naeema

    naeema Member

    Actually this the second time I'm confronting him about this. The first time was just calling her in pet names, which I told him that I don't like him talking to her like that.

    The girl, from the text messages, doesn't respond to him in that way. She seems very neutral in her responses to him. But she doesn't stop him. She seem to be just answer him innoncently without thinking that it sounds inappropriate coming from a male colleague. Probably just young and naive.
     
  6. naeema

    naeema Member

    I'm hoping im just overthinking too. Thank you
     
  7. babyfats

    babyfats Member

    It sounds unacceptable to me. Monitor first and see if he still continues doing it.
     
  8. tweetie76

    tweetie76 Member

    Ur hb sound more like trying to tackle the gal as u mention she’s neutral In her response. Tell ur hb nicely that don’t say such things Infront of girls as u won’t feel happy if he’s your colleague and that he can get sue for sexual harassment even though he didn’t mean it ..tell him it’s too private..actually my hb used to tell me that his buddy share w him his “sexual “ experience w his mistress which I tell him straight that I don’t like to listen
     
  9. naeema

    naeema Member

    Yea it so that's why I'm so mad at him. Thanks will do that.
     
  10. naeema

    naeema Member

    Yea he is trying his luck on her. Which is why it kinda makes me sick.
    I am upset coz this isn't the first time, that's why.
    Been giving the cold shoulder treatment since I confronted him on Monday.

    Time will heal I guess. So, will just see how it goes from here..
     
  11. margret

    margret Active Member

    Time will heal your relationship with him. But he might still be 'trying his luck'.
     
  12. babyfats

    babyfats Member

    Be strong my dear. Don't let all these affect you too much, don't make yourself heartbroken for someone who does not care about your feelings.
     

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