My experience with confinement lady - Auntie Lilian

shiko43

Member
I am a mummy of twin boys who delivered in mid March, hereby like to share my experience of hiring confinement lady, Auntie Lilian.

Before we confirmed on our CL, the main criteria is to be able to take care of 2 babies and mother at the same time, which Aunty Lilian claimed she can and have many experience handling twins.

I have to admit that 1st week I was quite impressed with her, partly cos I didn’t know CL actually cover so much work! Apart from taking care of babies and me, prepare confinement food, she also cook for my hubby and family members who dropped by to visit me at least once a week. Other than cooking, she also covered almost all housework, laundry, cleaning toilets, kitchen etc…and lastly bathed and massage for me! Have to credit her performance esp for e 1st week, cos night feeding for twins really not easy. But now come back to think again, her “good performance” during e 1st week may also because my mother was staying with me and Auntie Lilian know that my mum was supervising her.

Anyway, Auntie Lilian’s “battery” seems to drop after 1st week and when my maid arrived. Before we confirmed her, I actually wanted to bargain her fees as we would be hiring maid to help her and also learn from her. As she said she would help us to train our maid, we agreed not to lower her price. But after maid arrived, which we tot her workload could be shared and expected her to focus more on taking care of e twins, we actually found out that she started to slack….1 very good example, my twins are actually non-identical, my maid could differentiate them within a week, but Aunty Lilian until the day she left us, she could still recognize them wrongly, even have to ask my maid which baby is which! And there were even few times we caught her fed the wrong baby and dozing off when feeding the babies middle of the night. Few days before she left, she fed wrong baby again, that was when I finally burst out and questioned her if she really take care of twins before, she actually told me that twins she took care were all 1 boy 1 gal and mine are twin boys……………shouldn’t she take effort to recognize the babies no matter they are boys or gals?

There are also some of her logics which turn us off, 1 of my babies seem to have phlegm when we started to switch him to half formula milk. Aunty Lilian claimed that phlegm was partly caused by the formula milk which she said was too “thick” for e baby, so she insisted to put less powder to dilute the milk. My hubby and I actually have question abt this as it make our baby cried for milk less than 3 hrs, after raised up the question to her for a few times, Aunty Lilian said she leave e decision to us BUT started to scare us how baby would throw up and choked at middle of the night if formula milk never diluted, end up we gave in….

1 of my babies is on full breastmilk while the other we alternate with formula, so I have to pump every 2-3 hrs to maintain the supply (that baby not good at latch on) and also let another baby to latch on to stimulate after I pump. Sometimes when babies were still awake or crying at night, Aunty Lilian would push to ask me to let e baby latch on in order to put him to sleep, even they were just fed less than an hr ago! If she is going to ask me to breastfeed them everytime they are awake or crying, what for she keep a record of their feeding time and amt and asked the maid to follow? And talking abt the “record” she has been keeping since day 1, my maid revealed to me after Aunty Lilian left that as hubby and I had been questioning her abt feeding babies less than 3 hours, Aunty Lilian actually changed e record and lied to us!!!

Hubby and I are considered as “qin cai ” or rather lenient as we would just let e CL do things her own way, no matter what she cook or what she eat, as long as it is right. We understand that taking care of twins is tiring, so often I would not ask CL or maid to do anything for me in afternoon and let them to take nap and rest, so they won’t be too tired for night feeding. But since we are paying Aunty Lilian more for twins, at least basic standard have to meet and make sure she deserves the pay. But from her performance after week 1, my hubby and I really feel that we overpaid her, esp the part which she cannot recognize the babies is really ridiculous! And also, her working ethics is horrible when she overfed the babies in order for herself to rest at night! My PD actually commented feeding amount for my 2 boys are abit too much, now we are trying to adjust it back, hopefully not too late…=(

Hereby just like to share our experience with all the mummies or anyone who is looking for CL, do be alert and firm when choosing and dealing with CL
 


Hi mummies,

I'm a mummy currently in confinement who have also engaged auntie lilian and my confinement ends next week.

I have to agree with the above mummy that Auntie lilian seems to be full of energy initially but then as time goes by, she reveals her true self.

Below are my complaints towards her:

Maybe I too chin cai & didn't state my conditions when she came, she took things for granted.
Everyday she will order food from my MIL (because my MIL wants to buy fresh food for me everyday), then she starts to order lots of ingredients whereby it is not easy to find and she expects my MIL to go find it. She has a SOP and if one ingredient is missing, she doesn't know how to cook the dish or cannot think of other substitute ingredient or cook something else. And her demands start to grow till I pissed off and told her to cook with whatever she has, and she can tell me that all these ingredients are not exp & I told her $ not an issue, I don't want my house to left so many ingredients when u leave.

She also insists to have certain pots, bowls, plates, containers and etc. I already have at home and still not up to her standard. She starts telling us to buy or ask my MIL to bring hers over. My MIL purposely bought a new pot and yet she complained the material too thin and actually the existing pot better. If that is the case, she shouldn't ask us to buy in the first place. And she requested for a bigger bowl and my SIL bought 1 and she broke it on the first day when washing it and she even said the bowl my SIL bought too thin.
I already bought lock lock containers to keep my sterilized bottles and she complained it is not big enough, my hubby decides to buy 1 bigger 1 and when she sees it she said the container is good but my hubby should have bought two, I was so pissed off and told her 1 container cost me $50 and can't you use the existing 1?

She also insists to have dethol hand wash as she said it's better for baby but yet she nv use it. And she told us her hands were very sensitive and she needs to wear gloves and can only use baby shower foam.
After washing my baby's backside, she just simply leave the diapers in the toilet and nv clear them. And one occasion, I noticed she pees and nv flush.
She also eat my food without asking for permission, and during the night time, she wakes up and eat biscuits or bread and never clean the table, leaving all the crumbs on the table.

She also very forgetful, two accounts she left my stove on and went to take an afternoon nap and burnt my frying pan.
She likes to give instructions and she herself nv follow, she tells us that a particular container is for putting dirty bottles but she puts the clean ones inside and I questioned her and she said she forgotten and tells me now the container is for putting clean bottles.
She also wash my breast pump till she lost the diagpham and later I found it in the dustbin.

Her stay with us (3 weeks till date), she spoiled my toilet door, choked my toilet sewage pipe twice, she is so rough that she keeps on banging my kitchen drawers and cabinets, my kitchen just renovated last yr and now the drawers and cabinets doors were loose.

As she is sleeping with my gal, she keeps on asking me to on the air con but as I don't want my gal to sleep in air con room, I put two fans in my gal room. One for auntie lilian and other for my gal, but she uses two fans for herself. On one account, she woke me up and said my gal is too hot. My hubby checked and realised that she off my gal's fan, when questioned her, she said because my gal is sensitive to fan and needs air con.
My gal develop nappy rashes and I gave her desitin nappy rash cream (blue) and she applied for only 2 days and said it couldn't work and ask me to buy a better nappy rash cream, so I bought the stronger one (purple). After applying, my gal backside clear in 1 day and she said the cream is good. The next day her rashes came back and she told me my gal is allergic to the rash cream!! I was pissed off and told her didn't it works when we applied that day, she replied me saying I not a doc, don't know what ingredients in the nappy rash cream. So I told my gal to a PD and PD said my girl no allergy and in fact she should apply the cream every time she changes my gal.
As breastmilk is easily digest, my gal poos almost every feed, as she is lazy to clean my gal, she told me to give my gal formula milk to harden her poos.
And every feed, she increases my daughter milk supply, within a week, she increases 30ml to 90ml and I got pissed off and told her to reduce as she is over feeding my gal. Especially in the night, in order got herself to sleep, she feels my gal 120ml in 1 & a half hour!

On a few occasions, my gal cries and she is taking her afternoon nap, she heard my gal cries and she just woke up and told me to breastfeed her and she went back to zzz.
At night also, she simply pass my gal to me for breastfeeding and she went back to zzz till I got pissed off lately and woke her up to burp my gal so I can go back and zzz.

I still have one more week and my confinement will ends. This is really a very bad experience for me.
 
Hi ladies

could you share her no. with me cos Im abt to hire an Aunty Lilian (who sounded v impressive on the phone) n hope its not the one u're talking abt. Thanks!!
 
Hello all mummies to be,beware of so call"gd confinement maids" recommended by people on forum,they are here to con mummies.Many are out to earn money without working x-p,ask for deposit,offer to buy confinement items with u,then ask for advance payment,lousy service.
 
Hi, I am also one of the victim under Auntie Lilian. I actually booked her way early in my 1st trimester as I could not get those so called hot fav in the forum.

Today is actually the 3rd day into our confinement & we actually asked her to leave and I think she felt it and request to resigned immediately.

I have a few issues about her. I agreed with all those comments about her.

1) She requested alot of things to make her life comfortable. I have a small dustbin to throw baby tissues all those, she commented that it is not big enough for a whole day. I told her that since it is cleared everyday and dirty diapers will not be thrown inside therefore it is fine. However, the next moment when my hb brought her out to buy so of the things she said is necessary she actually get my hb to buy a plastic dustbin that cost $20. It is a small amount of money but I do not like her going to my hb who knows nothing and getting him to do things her way. She also bought back alot of duplicate herbal soup which my hb asked her to check with me but she never did. True enuff, the ugly dustbin is a white elephant in my hse nw and even before she left she also never use it. Especially, after I told her off that the rubbish chute is just in kitchen not as if it is outside the house, what is so troublesme abt throwing it directly in the chute. Besides, this she aso hinted she want to use spin mop and when I asked her to at least sweep my room floor, she actually asked my hb to vacuum.

2) She had alot of request to the extend that she even want us to buy a better brand of tissue paper and commented our tissue paper beautex will stick on the bb backside becos it will soften when contact wif water. I could not believe my ears and told her that the tissue paper is already 3 ply what she expect.

3) She also left bread crumbs on the table and did not even clear it up and I have to do it myself. She often left things here and there and I have to put back the things.

4) She is a electrical hazard. She often just plug out the kettle and left the electricity on for many hrs and when I informed her she actually have the cheek to tell me the water just finished boiling only. When she went to bed, she gave the living rm lights until I woke up to close during the next feed

5) She is supposed to do the housework as we paid for extra and yet she is only concern about her clothing which she will wash n hang outside. Whereas for our clothing, she did not even offer to throw in washing machine. We did our own washing and when the washing is done, she did not even bother to take out and hang while both hb and me are sleeping. It happened not once but twice. Baby's washcloth used all finished which is around 12 - 16 pcs and didnt bother to wash until I realised its not enough.

6) She is very tough in handling things like cupboard n kitchen top and just 1 day and my kitchen top got a few long scratches. Even with a newborn baby in the house, she do not find it necessary to lower down her noise.

7) My patience wear off, when it is suppose to be the feeding time and she is never wake up. Even she woke up to go toilet and the baby crying in my room she also chose to ignore it and went back to sleep in her room until my hb hve to go call her.

After telling her off, she must have realised that we are going to let her go and she actually told me hb that she wants to go and she had been a confinement lady for 30 yrs therefore they have their own correct way of doing things and do not have to do things my way. Just as well, I am thinking of compensating her more for the 3 days stay.

My advice is really do not take the forum recommendation for real and be like me now with no cl.
 
its been a while since i checked this thread and feel bad to hear about mummies who also "suffered" under Auntie Lilian!!

it's my negligence for not stating all the bad points abt Lilian. Yes, i agree with both mummies that she eats without asking for permission and always requested stuff for her convenience. Partly cos we moved to new house together with babies and Auntie Lilian, so indeed our place was not very well-equipped and thus we sort of gave in to her requests most of the time. As regard to her eating habit, hubby has noticed she ate alot but we tot she since she need energy to take care twins esp for night feeding, so we just close 1 eye.

Maybe becos we have twins and also maid to help, so auntie lilian couldnt really slack and her "destruction" to us was not huge..>.< After knowing other mummies also experienced similar shit from her, really hope all these nightmares will not happen to more mummies!!!
 
I am a mummy of twin boys who delivered in mid March, hereby like to share my experience of hiring confinement lady, Auntie Lilian.

Before we confirmed on our CL, the main criteria is to be able to take care of 2 babies and mother at the same time, which Aunty Lilian claimed she can and have many experience handling twins.

I have to admit that 1st week I was quite impressed with her, partly cos I didn’t know CL actually cover so much work! Apart from taking care of babies and me, prepare confinement food, she also cook for my hubby and family members who dropped by to visit me at least once a week. Other than cooking, she also covered almost all housework, laundry, cleaning toilets, kitchen etc…and lastly bathed and massage for me! Have to credit her performance esp for e 1st week, cos night feeding for twins really not easy. But now come back to think again, her “good performance” during e 1st week may also because my mother was staying with me and Auntie Lilian know that my mum was supervising her.

Anyway, Auntie Lilian’s “battery” seems to drop after 1st week and when my maid arrived. Before we confirmed her, I actually wanted to bargain her fees as we would be hiring maid to help her and also learn from her. As she said she would help us to train our maid, we agreed not to lower her price. But after maid arrived, which we tot her workload could be shared and expected her to focus more on taking care of e twins, we actually found out that she started to slack….1 very good example, my twins are actually non-identical, my maid could differentiate them within a week, but Aunty Lilian until the day she left us, she could still recognize them wrongly, even have to ask my maid which baby is which! And there were even few times we caught her fed the wrong baby and dozing off when feeding the babies middle of the night. Few days before she left, she fed wrong baby again, that was when I finally burst out and questioned her if she really take care of twins before, she actually told me that twins she took care were all 1 boy 1 gal and mine are twin boys……………shouldn’t she take effort to recognize the babies no matter they are boys or gals?

There are also some of her logics which turn us off, 1 of my babies seem to have phlegm when we started to switch him to half formula milk. Aunty Lilian claimed that phlegm was partly caused by the formula milk which she said was too “thick” for e baby, so she insisted to put less powder to dilute the milk. My hubby and I actually have question abt this as it make our baby cried for milk less than 3 hrs, after raised up the question to her for a few times, Aunty Lilian said she leave e decision to us BUT started to scare us how baby would throw up and choked at middle of the night if formula milk never diluted, end up we gave in….

1 of my babies is on full breastmilk while the other we alternate with formula, so I have to pump every 2-3 hrs to maintain the supply (that baby not good at latch on) and also let another baby to latch on to stimulate after I pump. Sometimes when babies were still awake or crying at night, Aunty Lilian would push to ask me to let e baby latch on in order to put him to sleep, even they were just fed less than an hr ago! If she is going to ask me to breastfeed them everytime they are awake or crying, what for she keep a record of their feeding time and amt and asked the maid to follow? And talking abt the “record” she has been keeping since day 1, my maid revealed to me after Aunty Lilian left that as hubby and I had been questioning her abt feeding babies less than 3 hours, Aunty Lilian actually changed e record and lied to us!!!

Hubby and I are considered as “qin cai ” or rather lenient as we would just let e CL do things her own way, no matter what she cook or what she eat, as long as it is right. We understand that taking care of twins is tiring, so often I would not ask CL or maid to do anything for me in afternoon and let them to take nap and rest, so they won’t be too tired for night feeding. But since we are paying Aunty Lilian more for twins, at least basic standard have to meet and make sure she deserves the pay. But from her performance after week 1, my hubby and I really feel that we overpaid her, esp the part which she cannot recognize the babies is really ridiculous! And also, her working ethics is horrible when she overfed the babies in order for herself to rest at night! My PD actually commented feeding amount for my 2 boys are abit too much, now we are trying to adjust it back, hopefully not too late…=(

Hereby just like to share our experience with all the mummies or anyone who is looking for CL, do be alert and firm when choosing and dealing with CL


Hi may I know what's aunt Lilian contact number? I am about to engage an aunty Lilian for confinement who sounded quie promising over the phone..
 
Hi, I am also one of the victim under Auntie Lilian. I actually booked her way early in my 1st trimester as I could not get those so called hot fav in the forum.

Today is actually the 3rd day into our confinement &amp; we actually asked her to leave and I think she felt it and request to resigned immediately.

I have a few issues about her. I agreed with all those comments about her.

1) She requested alot of things to make her life comfortable. I have a small dustbin to throw baby tissues all those, she commented that it is not big enough for a whole day. I told her that since it is cleared everyday and dirty diapers will not be thrown inside therefore it is fine. However, the next moment when my hb brought her out to buy so of the things she said is necessary she actually get my hb to buy a plastic dustbin that cost $20. It is a small amount of money but I do not like her going to my hb who knows nothing and getting him to do things her way. She also bought back alot of duplicate herbal soup which my hb asked her to check with me but she never did. True enuff, the ugly dustbin is a white elephant in my hse nw and even before she left she also never use it. Especially, after I told her off that the rubbish chute is just in kitchen not as if it is outside the house, what is so troublesme abt throwing it directly in the chute. Besides, this she aso hinted she want to use spin mop and when I asked her to at least sweep my room floor, she actually asked my hb to vacuum.

2) She had alot of request to the extend that she even want us to buy a better brand of tissue paper and commented our tissue paper beautex will stick on the bb backside becos it will soften when contact wif water. I could not believe my ears and told her that the tissue paper is already 3 ply what she expect.

3) She also left bread crumbs on the table and did not even clear it up and I have to do it myself. She often left things here and there and I have to put back the things.

4) She is a electrical hazard. She often just plug out the kettle and left the electricity on for many hrs and when I informed her she actually have the cheek to tell me the water just finished boiling only. When she went to bed, she gave the living rm lights until I woke up to close during the next feed

5) She is supposed to do the housework as we paid for extra and yet she is only concern about her clothing which she will wash n hang outside. Whereas for our clothing, she did not even offer to throw in washing machine. We did our own washing and when the washing is done, she did not even bother to take out and hang while both hb and me are sleeping. It happened not once but twice. Baby's washcloth used all finished which is around 12 - 16 pcs and didnt bother to wash until I realised its not enough.

6) She is very tough in handling things like cupboard n kitchen top and just 1 day and my kitchen top got a few long scratches. Even with a newborn baby in the house, she do not find it necessary to lower down her noise.

7) My patience wear off, when it is suppose to be the feeding time and she is never wake up. Even she woke up to go toilet and the baby crying in my room she also chose to ignore it and went back to sleep in her room until my hb hve to go call her.

After telling her off, she must have realised that we are going to let her go and she actually told me hb that she wants to go and she had been a confinement lady for 30 yrs therefore they have their own correct way of doing things and do not have to do things my way. Just as well, I am thinking of compensating her more for the 3 days stay.

My advice is really do not take the forum recommendation for real and be like me now with no cl.


Hi may I know what's aunt Lilian contact number? I am about to engage an aunty Lilian for confinement who sounded quie promising over the phone..
 
Handphone number can change... When you had paid for a deposit, DO ask for her IC and passport photocopy if you're engaging a freelancer.
 
the auntie Lilian i engaged, msia hp end with 8919...while her sg hp end with 6122

she actually called abt 2 weeks ago, asking how are my boys etc and even left another no with my hubby, claiming can whatsapp etc....but myhubby didnt really note down =P
 

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