I live in my MIL house with hubby, maid, daughter (2 yrs) and son (5 months). MY MIL& FIL live with her eldest son.
My MIL is a extreme MIL. She loves my daughter (2 yr +) so much that she will cancel her appointments to fit my schedules. Try pushing all her appointments to Sat/Sun or when I am on leave. She prefers me to work late and ask me to even go shopping and come back later. Once when I took half day leave to bring my daughter go out, she will find alot of reason (e.g. sun too hot, timing too late etc)and tell me not to bring my daughter out. She will say: "if u want go out, u can go out yrself to shop" This happens many times already, she will stop me from taking leave to company my daughter and if i take leave to go checkup for my health, she will not allow me to bring her along.
She snatch to feed my daughter, bathe my daughter... Everytime I come home from work, we will start snatching who to bathe who to feed... I want bathe and feed her, she also will say: "nevermind, u go have dinner, I will feed"
At night when I going to bring my child home after dinner at her place, she will ask me to leave my daughter with her and ask me go home WITHOUT her. My hubby got no opinion one lor... He everything also keep quiet.
On weekends, she will come over to my place and buy breakfast for all on pretext to see my daughter. I know becos before she enter the door, she will ask whoever who she sees first: " where is my daughter? What she doing now?" She will first thing look for my daughter when she enters the house.
My daughter seems so close to her and sometimes want her instead of me. I am so worried that my daughter will one day just say she want to stay at her house instead of going home with me. I live so terribly becos everyday I try to rush home after work to take care of my daughter myself. She will snatch to take care even when I am home. she ask me to eat dinner so that she can feed her. she brings my child down to walk walk at night with her hubby leaving me at home with hubby and maid. Since she take care whole day, why cannot let me care for her at night since I whole day at work cannot see my daughter?
she ask my daughter to sleep with her at night and dont follow mummy home. She ask me dont take leave and she love my daughter to 101%. When I touches my daughter, she will sure find things to say. When I give my daughter a gummy sweet, she screams to the loudest saying it will choke her, then I realised that she feeds the same sweet to my daughter finishing the whole packet in the fridge. She is so overly protective of her that I am so scared of her presence now... I am otherwise happy to have her as my MIl other than the fact that she is trying to take over my position as a mother. I feel threatened that my daughter will get so close to her that she will prefer living with her instead of with me. Just yesterday, she want to bring her along my daughter to her place after dinner at my house. She will wear shoes for her and ask my daughter everyday the same qns: "Want to sleep with NaiNai tonight at my house?" My daughter say ok and she tell me she will bring her over. I say cannot becos I worried she will cry knowing my daughter surely wont cry lah...
I avoid weekend outings with them as a result to avoid my child contact with them. During outings, she will snatch to carry and hold my daughter hands.
At restaurant dinners, lunch together, she will snatch to sit beside the baby high chair. When I shift the baby high chair to another location as I sit another chair, she will stand up and also shift herself to sit with my daughter. So both of us sit one side with my daughter. She will snatch to feed my daughter at the restaurant also. She will also snatch to take the food and put in the kids bowl. Once, we eat at restaurant (my daughter birthday) with my parents side family also there. As usual, she sit beside the baby chair, then when my mother ask me to shift the baby chair becos my mother want sit with me, so I shift baby chair to beside me and mother beside me on the other side, my maid sit on the other side of my baby high chair. Then throughout the dinner, she cannot feed and take dishes for my child and she keep commenting everything we feed my daughter. She will say: a) the chicken cut too big, b) celery too hard cannot give, c)the toufu too hot, d) the fish got bone, e) soup very hot etc etc. Everything she will shout and say loud loud until her other son and daughter also find her strange I think...
Becos of my MIL behaviour, I have been taking alot of leave, mc etc.. I try to company my daughter so much that i neglected my marriage with hubby. My hubby does not understd me becos he feels its fine that my daughter close with his mum.
I need some comments. Is she normal? or am i crazy? I asked around, no one face same problem as me. Ppl's MIL usually prefer to have their Daughter in law to share the load with them.
Note: so far she never show much possesiveness over my 5months old son yet. Only my daughter lor.
My MIL is a extreme MIL. She loves my daughter (2 yr +) so much that she will cancel her appointments to fit my schedules. Try pushing all her appointments to Sat/Sun or when I am on leave. She prefers me to work late and ask me to even go shopping and come back later. Once when I took half day leave to bring my daughter go out, she will find alot of reason (e.g. sun too hot, timing too late etc)and tell me not to bring my daughter out. She will say: "if u want go out, u can go out yrself to shop" This happens many times already, she will stop me from taking leave to company my daughter and if i take leave to go checkup for my health, she will not allow me to bring her along.
She snatch to feed my daughter, bathe my daughter... Everytime I come home from work, we will start snatching who to bathe who to feed... I want bathe and feed her, she also will say: "nevermind, u go have dinner, I will feed"
At night when I going to bring my child home after dinner at her place, she will ask me to leave my daughter with her and ask me go home WITHOUT her. My hubby got no opinion one lor... He everything also keep quiet.
On weekends, she will come over to my place and buy breakfast for all on pretext to see my daughter. I know becos before she enter the door, she will ask whoever who she sees first: " where is my daughter? What she doing now?" She will first thing look for my daughter when she enters the house.
My daughter seems so close to her and sometimes want her instead of me. I am so worried that my daughter will one day just say she want to stay at her house instead of going home with me. I live so terribly becos everyday I try to rush home after work to take care of my daughter myself. She will snatch to take care even when I am home. she ask me to eat dinner so that she can feed her. she brings my child down to walk walk at night with her hubby leaving me at home with hubby and maid. Since she take care whole day, why cannot let me care for her at night since I whole day at work cannot see my daughter?
she ask my daughter to sleep with her at night and dont follow mummy home. She ask me dont take leave and she love my daughter to 101%. When I touches my daughter, she will sure find things to say. When I give my daughter a gummy sweet, she screams to the loudest saying it will choke her, then I realised that she feeds the same sweet to my daughter finishing the whole packet in the fridge. She is so overly protective of her that I am so scared of her presence now... I am otherwise happy to have her as my MIl other than the fact that she is trying to take over my position as a mother. I feel threatened that my daughter will get so close to her that she will prefer living with her instead of with me. Just yesterday, she want to bring her along my daughter to her place after dinner at my house. She will wear shoes for her and ask my daughter everyday the same qns: "Want to sleep with NaiNai tonight at my house?" My daughter say ok and she tell me she will bring her over. I say cannot becos I worried she will cry knowing my daughter surely wont cry lah...
I avoid weekend outings with them as a result to avoid my child contact with them. During outings, she will snatch to carry and hold my daughter hands.
At restaurant dinners, lunch together, she will snatch to sit beside the baby high chair. When I shift the baby high chair to another location as I sit another chair, she will stand up and also shift herself to sit with my daughter. So both of us sit one side with my daughter. She will snatch to feed my daughter at the restaurant also. She will also snatch to take the food and put in the kids bowl. Once, we eat at restaurant (my daughter birthday) with my parents side family also there. As usual, she sit beside the baby chair, then when my mother ask me to shift the baby chair becos my mother want sit with me, so I shift baby chair to beside me and mother beside me on the other side, my maid sit on the other side of my baby high chair. Then throughout the dinner, she cannot feed and take dishes for my child and she keep commenting everything we feed my daughter. She will say: a) the chicken cut too big, b) celery too hard cannot give, c)the toufu too hot, d) the fish got bone, e) soup very hot etc etc. Everything she will shout and say loud loud until her other son and daughter also find her strange I think...
Becos of my MIL behaviour, I have been taking alot of leave, mc etc.. I try to company my daughter so much that i neglected my marriage with hubby. My hubby does not understd me becos he feels its fine that my daughter close with his mum.
I need some comments. Is she normal? or am i crazy? I asked around, no one face same problem as me. Ppl's MIL usually prefer to have their Daughter in law to share the load with them.
Note: so far she never show much possesiveness over my 5months old son yet. Only my daughter lor.