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Marriage In law/Loveless prob

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by Ponyyune, Aug 13, 2018 at 12:55 AM.

  1. Ponyyune

    Ponyyune New Member

    Ive married for six years with a son 5yrs old.I stay with in law and feel so unhappy all these years of marriage.First is the in law thing.MIL always find my husband to talk etc disturbed our 2 ppl life.There is one time where we fight and he sit outside with them until 4/5am playing mahjong.He told me his mom told him not to come in find me.She always knock on our doors and i feel she cant let go her son.And my husband too love his mother so much.But she got sick and eveything get worst..she passed away.My husband gave her all attention all these while but in my side i felt im neglected.But i let it because she was sick.But now he seems continue to be like that.And now is FIL turn.Husband always want/need to accompany him because he was alone.I told him before if there is 100percent in his heart,his work 50,family30,friends10,son 10 ,and then the 10 is for me.or maybe lesser.after work he always use the hp and not much talk to me.when i talk to him is like he is nothing to say..i feel hateful towards this marriage.my life is ruined.he even talk to the son than more than to me.and whenever i confront him,he said it was my fault.cos i always disagree with him and blackface.but the cos of blackface is all that neglection tat he gave me.when go out with me he want to be back fast and use d hp all the time..but when we hangout with frens he doesnt want to back and not use hp at all.

  2. DonLee

    DonLee New Member

    Is he the only son/child? I guess he's very close to his parents. Especially after your MIL passed away.. He felt that he needs to have more time with his father. But he forgot that he need to balance out the time.
    Instead of him talk to you, why don't you try start topic/talk with him instead? Unless he's like one word answer kind.. If not, conversation should lead on...
  3. be-brave

    be-brave Member

    ditch him. take care of urself. find fun and friends. find hobbies.

    when u r happier, u can then deal with him.

    when u r up to it, u can go out with him, son and fil. that makes him happier and know that u care about what he cares. when u r feeling better, buy something for ur fil, that would surely please ur husband, and he would talk to u more. most fil r easier to get along.

    u r not dependent on him. u can take control.
  4. lostmypurpose

    lostmypurpose New Member

    Be-brave methods are worth giving a try, but it doesn't sound like he still has love for you. Have a good chat with him, and ask him whether he still wants the marriage, what he expects of you etc. Better to clear things up than leave them hanging and not sure what to do.
  5. DonLee

    DonLee New Member

    Partly agreed with be-brave also.
    Don't 'ditch' him though as sounds..

    Instead, have some personal time yourself. Go out with friends, shopping, eat, or do whatever you want. Give yourself a break.

    For FIL side, have to understand him though. As I think probably he's very close to his parents. hence when his mother passed away, he gave his attention to his dad. Perhaps he just want to show his filial towards him as a son...

    Just bear with it for this. Since you are the one that will company him for the rest of life...

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