Maid - Should I be unhappy?

ingrid

New Member
1. Sneaky usage of water heater without our knowledge. Turning on the water heater and then off prior to shower, knowing we wont be able to tell the switch was being turned on as kitchen (where switch is located) door is closed as she mops the floor before bath.
2. Hitting brand new car door against pillar/other cars despite numerous reminders to be extra careful. Forcefully grabbing car door from Sir (who was holding it open for mum) and hitting it against another parked car, then giving Sir the “so what” look.
3. Causing misunderstandings within the family – When questioned, would tell M’am those were her mum’s instructions to maid. If mum asked, would reply it was M’am’s instructions.
4. Does not respect our privacy at all – sneaky attempts to listen into private family conversations in the bedrooms – would walk past our rooms every few minutes on the pretext of asking questions followed by the need to use/wash (one after another) the bathroom, to retrieve something from nearby cupboards etc.
5. Consistently finding excuses to enter the living lounge (to perform short unscheduled tasks) when air-con is being turned on, and ceasing all work in the kitchen. Then returning to her kitchen chores and leaving the kitchen door open (to let the cool air in). Despite reminders, repeat process again – would forget to close kitchen door yet again.
6. Separate cooking (after 8.30pm despite specific requests not to wait till that late). Eating dinner at late hours. Would not take the food at all if we had a few spoonfuls before offering it to her (except chilli or satay peanut sauce).
7. Inconsistent cooking quality (despite simple frying or making a sandwich)
8. Refusal to obey guided cooking instructions resulting in high volumes of food wastage, then serving the spoiled cooking/baking at dining table and expecting us to consume it.
9. Bad manners – (1) Without knocking on our doors, but would crane neck to keep peering into rooms when doors are slightly ajar. (2) Interrupting our phone conversations and expecting immediate attention when she wants to ask questions. (3) Took 6 months to explain the requirement of saying “Good morning” to everybody. Before that, would only greet whoever she felt like.
10. Deliberate destruction of items (making sure damage is at inconspicuous areas) – her clock (lifespan of one week), her reading light (one month), serving tray (two months). Would then ask us to replace items after damage. Sir took apart the clock – exterior looked perfectly fine but innards are completely in shattered bits. Second clock lasted overnight before becoming badly scratched and cracked on the interior of the clock surface.

Should I be upset? Or be glad it isnt any worse?
 


wow ! think u better change ur maid. Dunno y, it's soo hard to find a good maid nowadays.
u treat them nice, they will climb over ur head.
my current maid also like that. very kpo...she will ask my mum where we go whenever me and my hubby went out. whenever the phone rang, she will ask my mum who called. liked to look at our photos... if there's a photo album lying on the sofa, she will flip thru it without asking our permissions. Liked to eat good things... she can say she dun like to eat bee hoon, dun like to eat beef etc etc. If u cook porridge, her face will change cos she doesn't like to eat. there's still many more things... so in the end, i decided to change her... hope my next one will be better.
 
On Saturday morning, she managed to do something to the septic tank in the bathroom resulting in one of the flushing buttons (half flush/full flush) sticking into mid-air. My mum questioned the maid what did she do exactly. Afterall, it would have made more sense if a flushing button had been depressed and stuck. The maid insisted she merely wiped the top of the septic tank because there was a strand of hair. Other than that, she did nothing else.

Anyway, we went straight down to the maid agency to consult them on the next best course of action. Agent suggested we should change the maid.

A week ago, we had noticed the exterior of the fan was slightly damaged. Come Sunday morning, I decided to question her about it to see what she had to say this time. This time, she kept insisting she did not drop the fan. We knew she did not drop the fan from the signs of damage. The metal grilles of the fan looked like something had forced them apart.

I was furious about the mysterious and unexplained damages to the household items (including bending and unbending of cutlery – you can see the marks). We sent her straight back to the maid agency in the morning. Then went home, packed her belongings and saw those little advertisements she had cut – pretty furnishings of a little child’s room, recipes (from magazines we thrown away) she had carefully kept away for her future restaurant business in Indonesia.

Now I am a little regretful for being so heartless. Apart from the points raised, she was a pretty good worker until she became too big for her boots.

I broke down when we returned her belongings in the afternoon (I felt so rotten). Then she cried because she saw me crying (What a scene. Sigh.) Only then did she say sorry to Sir and M’am. But it was tad too late as we had signed all paperwork earlier. She sadly waved goodbye to us with a longing look till we were out of sight.

Till now, I am still wondering if I should approach the maid agency to give her another chance to work for us. Before the weekend, she had always behaved there are always greener pastures elsewhere. It was quite funny when she had the smug look (upon seeing the maid agency), strutted into the maid agency, looked over our shoulders while we signed the documents – until the agent gave her a withering look and had to dismiss her, thrice.

But, perhaps, she does not want to work for us any more (since we sent her away unexpectedly without warning). Also, the maid agent might think we are having fun sending her back then changing our minds again.

Should I talk to the maid agent? Has anybody done this before? Taking the maid back again? Is there a risk she will wreck even more stuff or, kill someone? Sigh…
 
Hi Ingrid
her heart is apparently not with you... let it be... if you take her back, she may see it as a sign that you need her more than she needs you...

she may change for the better, but there is always a chance that the leopard will never change its spots...

leave it and be careful when selecting your next maid.
 
ingrid, your maid seem to hv attitude problem. better to change if u r not comfortable with her, and buy yourself peace of mind. As for how the maid feels - its really too bad if she wants to display such attitude. U shdnt feel bad. Hope she learns from it and displays better attitude next time.
 
Ingrid,
Don't look back. Just hope to get a less agumentative and more efficient maid now. Cheers.
happy.gif
 
Thank you to all who replied. We returned to the maid agency yesterday to request for a new maid. My previous maid was there waiting for the new family to collect her. The agent told me she would be working for a mainland chinese family, then added that it is always more difficult to work for them compared to a sg family. Now I feel quite sorry for her.

Hope things will work out for her.
 
Hi All,
Just want to share my bad experience with you all here. Lately I've just had encounter with this maid agency named "Jrs Business Express Pte Ltd" located at 420 North Bridge Road, lady boss by the name of Naty. I shan't say what happened as its a long story. All I can say is Beware of this maid agency, they do not handle matters the legal and correct way in the eyes of the MOM, plus all the advices she gave are all wrong (found out after checking with the other maid agencies.) Nearly caused me a lot of trouble.
 
To share my experience with everyone..

I'm a part-time working mother and currently, my MIL, bb (9 months already), hubby are staying together in our new flat. I have so far, changed a total of 3 filipino maids. This is my experiences..

Maid No.1 - She came and worked for me when I was 8 months pregnant, 1 month to edd. She was a fast learner and had a lot of strength. She was able to do heavy cleaning and thorough cleaning. But the only thing I cannot tolerate was that we cannot comment or tell her anything to improve herself. She will give us blackface, me in particular because (MIL dunno how to speak english, hubby find it awkward as he is a guy and feels that it is easier for me to do so).. Therefore, everytime, I tell her that the floor still sticky, need to clean again, the cups washed are not clean (have stains inside) and I dont even comment these things everyday. Just on somedays when I happen to see them. Her face becomes black, her jawline becomes firm, her eyes either look away or straight intensely into my eyes.. When I talk to her, she will carry on do her things, like want to listen don't want to listen like that. But this was not the breaking point. I take it that maybe it's her facial expression .. One night (bb was 1 month old) after I breastfeed, I came out of my room around 3am to get some water from kitchen.. I passed by her room and saw some light (like hp light).. I switch on her lights and demanded that she hand her phone over to me. (I did not allow her hp but I get her calling cards to call home using my homephone, therefore, her hp was still in my wardrobe.) It was this moment that I realise that she has sneaked out to buy a NEW handphone! And she was only with me for 2 months. I confronted her but she keeps denying it all the way, saying I saw wrongly and that there was no light. What rubbish! I was furious but couldn't continue as my bb was crying liao. Then few nights later, me, hubby and bb just came home around 1am at night and to my surprise, I saw a banglah man stinking of beer sitting at the stairs next to my house using his hp. It's funny because I lived on the 7th floor (why would anyone take a lift up to the 7th floor and sit by my stairs at this hour), my only neighbour was a malay family, and my floor was not even a lift floor. I send her back to agent the next morning. CASE CLOSED.

Maid No. 2: She was friendly and a tad more elderly. I decided to give her a try as she is a transfer maid. Hiaz... Same, cannot comment at all, otherwise blackface or whisper something under her breath while I speak to her. I cannot tolerate this attitude and scolded her for doing this. I said that should you not be happy, you can speak to me directly, not whisper and look away, or stare intensely at me. At this point, I figure out that most filipino maids are like that and that I should ignore this part. But my No. 2 was into moisturiser, perfums, picking my old lipsticks, powder that have long expired from my rubbish. She also did said that I denied her of her rights
1) Freedom to go out or talk to other maids or use perfum etc..(bearing in mind that she is new here and is still not given off days, also as she is taking care of newborn bb, I do not want her to use all these chemicals as my bb either be smelling or licking these when she carries her)
2) I'm unreasonable and likes scolding her (wah, when she gives me this type of attitude!!)
3) She anyhow spend money, spend $300 over when she only earned $600, on beauty products!!??!
End of story, I send her back as my patience was runny low already. She seems so happy to be back at agent as she always complain to me that her "friend" from downstairs have this, have that etc....
3) My current maid, I got her from another agency, was slightly better I must say. Initially, she wore only T-shrits and 3 quarter shorts, saying she likes to wear like that cuz more comfortable to do work in .. But there was once, I felt sick and came home earlier, she wore tight jeans and hugging top (she went out with my MIL and just step into the house.). She was so surprise to see me at home this early. Upset, I questioned her why she wears differently when with me and when with my MIL. She says she scared I scold.. I mean honestly, if you are scared that I dont like, then dont do it at all.
2) Told her not to have any transaction with friends from downstairs (i.e. other maid give her toys, pouches because their employer want to throw way, calling cards etc..) Explained to her that I do not know the whereabout of these stuff that she takes home or picks from the rubbish dump, what's new, I get the blackface treatment again. Told her that if she wants calling card to call home, just tell me and I will buy for her the next day. But she always tell me she dont want and ask me don't buy. End up, shortly after 1 month, she demand for her hp when CLEARLY during day 1 at the agent place, already said no hp and hp only allowed after her loan is paid up. She demand, I give in. Return her the hp as she said she want to sms and communicate with family. 1 week later after she gets her hp, now tell me that her sim card got no money.

Secretly used my homephone to call her friends!! And I found out cause her friend called back to return the miss call. Ask her why use my housephone to call her friend (not even family), she said her hp no money, wanted to ask her friend to help her send sms. I shoot her one question, " WHY DID YOU NOT ASK MADAM IF YOU CAN USE THE HOUSEPHONE FIRST BEFORE USING?" No answer from her, only blackface.. And it gets worst from here la.

Is there a problem with the maids or is there a problem with me?

1) I don't allow HP initially because I find that is a big distraction and I want her to focus on my newborn bb and work,well, at least for 6 months or so, until I find that I can trust her more.
2) I always find the need to explain further why I want this to be done this way etc... But end up, always receive blackface back.
 
Enxuan: as a new mummy, you already have so much at hand. It is not wrong to expect the things you wrote from your maid as it is true, you want her attention and focus on the baby.

If they don't want to do their jobs properly, don't be a maid.

Just get rid of her before something bad happens to your baby. If they get so upset at you, what happens when you are not around and only your defenceless baby is left?

Ai @ http://sakuraharuka.blogspot.com
 

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