Issue with mother

Isabel135

Member
Since my second son was born, my mom will stay with us over the weekdays to help take care of my second son as both me and my husband are working. However, my mom is extremely hard to get along, she either always bad mouthed my husband to me, or she will get angry with me over small things. On average, we will get into disagreements once a week. She gets annoyed over every little thing that we does, and treats our house like hers and expects us to do things her way. For e.g., I have been dropping a lot of hair due to hormonal changes, but she will complain and nag as if it's my fault. She expects us to keep our things in a certain way, and had been rearranging our stuff in her own way, such that we cannot find our things sometimes. When she doesn't like the way we take care of our own son, she will scold us and say extremely nasty things which really made us irritated with her. One thing which I really hate was how she always misinterprete the things my husband said to her, and will take it in a really negative way and will complain to me in a bid to show me how nasty he is. I really regret asking her to help out, but it's kinda a no return path as she quitted her job to help us out. What should we do? She's extremely headstrong and does not.like to listen to any advice.
 


Sounded like my case many years back. My mum also quitted her job cos partly of taking care my children. Then she was so negative that in the end after my confinement we just had to move out. Best take care yourself. It will be difficult but at least u are in control of things. Or maybe if you are ok financial wise might consider a helper.
 
My husband is totally against the idea of employing a helper, as he does not like a stranger living with us. We decided against infant care too as heard many stories of frequent sickness. We evaluated all our options before turning to my mom for help. We don't stay together, but even the weekdays when she is staying over to help take care of the baby is getting on our nerves. As much as possible, we leave it to her to do things her way. But just the other day, heard her badmouthing me to my father who came over to visit. She just give off very negative vibes, and she can't survive if she doesn't start complaining about me or my husband.
 
Same thing why we didn't employ helper too..so the bect best thing is try to br more independent..learn to take care yourself no choice. I also told my mum it's ok I think I want to try take care myself and learn as she's getting older..and dun want tire her out
 
I have a job I love, and the pay also helps the household, especially with the high standard of living, hence don't think I will be a SAHM. I also feel that being a SAHM can be extremely lonely sometimes, I felt that way during the 4 months maternity when my husband had to go to work. So, it's not something I would consider. Guess I have to find ways to live with her under the same roof on weekdays...
 
I have a job I love, and the pay also helps the household, especially with the high standard of living, hence don't think I will be a SAHM. I also feel that being a SAHM can be extremely lonely sometimes, I felt that way during the 4 months maternity when my husband had to go to work. So, it's not something I would consider. Guess I have to find ways to live with her under the same roof on weekdays...
Then all the best to your decision. Hope u find an arrangement that fits! And take care of your mental well bring too. It will be stressful with children. Anything just close eyes and ears or pretend didnt hear
 
Pay is definitely not the reason for her negativity. I give her $1500 a month, in fact she thinks I'm giving her too much especially since all expenses are on us when she stay over.
 

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